TresSugar

If You Had To. . .

GiggleSugar — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Who would you knock Republican boots with? Samuel Wurzelbacher aka "Joe the Plumber" (shown here in a Snuggie!) or Rush "I hope this nation goes down in flames" Limbaugh? (Stay tuned for the Democratic version of "If You Had To...")

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If You Had To...

GiggleSugar — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 04:00:00 -0800

It's If You Had To... Douches Wild edition! On your left, Mystery, the pickup artist who turns nice guys into douches on VH1's The Pickup Artist. On your right, good ol' Criss Angel. They have so much in common! They both wear lame hats, and they both perform tricks! So, you have to share bottle service at Tao in Vegas with one of these dudes. Who would you go out with (and make out with), if you had to...

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If You Had To...

GiggleSugar — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 09:00:00 -0700

These two douches aren't exactly a girl's best friend. The almost unrecognizable Andy Dick was recently arrested outside a Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant in a Murrieta, CA, parking lot for groping a 17-year-old girl's breasts, and Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild infamy likes to get girls drunk and then film them stripping and making fools of themselves. This might be the hardest one, people, so I'll try to make it as easy as possible. Which one of these losers would you kiss if you had to . . . ?

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If You Had To...

GiggleSugar — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 02:00:00 -0700

The Baldwin brothers are suffering from a serious case of doucheface. Our little game usually features only two undesirables, but the Baldwin family has douchelords to spare. Who would you hook up with, and possibly risk being verbally abused by, if you had to...

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If You Had To...

GiggleSugar — Wed, 21 May 2008 10:00:00 -0700

The biennial World Beard and Mustache Championships are taking place in Anchorage, Alaska next year. Here are a couple of the American contenders. Not all women hate beards, but these two would try the patience of even the most open-minded of women! On the left, we have former pizza delivery professional Great Burke Kenny, who is pursuing his studies at Evergreen College in Olympia, Washington. On the right, meet Jack Passion, "artist, musician, and beardsman." (He is 23-years-old, if you can believe it!) Who would you lock lips with at the risk of irritating your skin if you had to...

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If You Had To...

GiggleSugar — Fri, 16 May 2008 08:00:00 -0700

If it seems like hate on Bill O'Reilly week that's because it is! Haha. Come on, now, anyone who's seen him go off on his guests when they don't say what he wants, or viewed this vintage example of his a-holery, know he's no innocent. And although we don't see much of Geraldo Rivera now, back in the day, this dude really brought television journalism down to the gutter by sensationalizing every damn story and baiting people. (Plus he stepped on my foot once and didn't apologize.) Anyhoo...which pompous windbag would you let near you naked, if you had to. . .

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If You Had To...

GiggleSugar — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 04:00:00 -0700

I've been really easy on you guys in the past few If You Had To's. Let's make this little game hard again, shall we? Some women gravitate toward losers like cheap whisky on ice. Well, let's make them criminals, too! I know it will be hard to decide, but of the two guys in these mugshots, who would you make a conjugal visit to, if you had to...

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If You Had To...

GiggleSugar — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 13:00:00 -0700

This If You Had To is a bit of a departure from the others, because these two are actually kinda hot underneath all their crunky skank. The English have a knack for producing this "addicted pirate who is allergic to bathing" type. In one corner, I present you with Russell Brand. Apparently, he is the best thing about Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Did I mention he is a recovering heroin and sex addict? And in the other corner, Pete Doherty. (What is this dude not addicted to?) Who would you have dirty pirate sex with, if you had to. . .

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If You Had To...

GiggleSugar — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 04:00:00 -0700

These two fancy themselves as tough guys with some affinity to the mystical East. Chuck Norris has been kickin' it kung fu style since back in the day, and Steven Seagal, when he's not starring in clunkers like Under Siege, participates in the creation of dubious energy drinks. With whom would you have tantric sex involving lots of heavy breathing, hand holding, and staring into one another's beady eyes if you had to...

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If You Had To...

GiggleSugar — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:30:00 -0700

It's baaack! The poll you love to hate. The poll that threatens to kill your libido for the rest of the year. The poll that has you scrambling to turn off your computer monitor before its images of male nonpulchritude are singed onto your retinas forever. That's right. It's If You Had To . . . And this time, I've really taken the gloves off. In the left ring, I present you with shock-rocker Marilyn Manson, whose bedside manner, I imagine, would not only scar you for life; his dark lipstick threatens to stain your pillow cases for eternity. In the right ring, I offer you the once-hot punk icon Iggy Pop (mercifully shirted in this pic). I sense he could leave a greasy stain on something far more important: your soul. So who would you choose to shtup, if you had to . . .

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