Cuz I'd get poked by fools with Cheeto dust all over their faces who get mad that I'm not pokin' back. I'm online too much as it is!
What if Snoop and Jay-Z were math teachers back in grade school? What if DJ Unk taught algebra, and Fat Joe taught linear equations? What if rap music inspired word problems?
Showbiz Pizza provides animatronic entertainment for kids in the form of The Rock-afire Explosion. When I was a kid, this robot band sang horrendous songs while looking slightly possessed and bobbing their heads unrhythmically. But the times, they are a changing...
Set the choreography of Bob Fosse to Unk's "Walk It Out," and you got a perfect match. Who knew? Now if only I could say the same about the brightly colored, polyester pantsuits these women are thrusting about in.
You won't find him "In Da Club" these days, but taking charge of The National Symphony in this commercial. Has 50 Cent refined his taste in tunes? Or has he orchestrated a new way to experience classical music?
If you want evidence of the decline of civilization, look no further than this video. Two guys in a fast food drive-thru freestyle rap their junk food orders to a surprisingly patient crew inside, who seem to be able to catch only basic words here and there. "We need some chicken up in here, in this hizzle, for rizzle my mizzle extra salt on the frizzle..."
Cupid can't dance, but he sure can rap! And I'm warning you now, his rhymes reveal some major anger issues, which would be fine...if the overgrown cherub didn't insist on carrying that bow-and-arrow around all the damn time. Watch.
Last week, we watched Gollum and Smeagol, of Lord Of The Rings, get slugged with the Barry White bat. This week, the Ice Age penguins get hit with the thugly stick- but it's all good, cuz they know how to "walk it out."
She's a charmer, that Natalie Portman, that is, when she's not cussing, and getting high, and cheating, and drinking while driving, and fighting, and screaming, and throwing crap all over the place. Yeah, she's a real sweetheart.