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Who Won't Be Crowned the Next Miss Philippines?
Girlfriend kicked butt in the evening gown and swimsuit competitions, but opened her mouth and screwed her standing with a rambling response about like such as, haha, omigod, only being 17-years-old, so sorry for this sh*tty answer, wait, this is the top 10? No joke. We should at least give the girl credit for maintaining a genuinely fake smile the whole way through.
Brace Yourself: Lil Pageant Queens
They know how to bat those false eyelashes, smile real pretty, pose for the camera, and strut in a bathing suit. They're pageant queens and they're only six. VH1's Little Beauties: Ultimate Kiddie Queen Showdown follows four girls (and their hypercritical stage mothers) through the preparatory process and behind-the-scenes emotions leading up to the crowning of one cutie "ultimate beauty."
Flashback: Pageant Queen Disaster
Is this prima donna really tooting her horn to the Star Wars theme song? This is the wrong place and time to let your freak flag fly, but I think our lovely contestant knows that she doesn't have a chance in hell of winning this competition. She's not only tone deaf, but girlfriend dances waddles like a penguin (fast forward to 1:15).
If She Only Had A Brain...
...This is what she would have said. And if I only had a heart, I'd stop ridiculing her already. So much for that.
Beauty And The Brain Fart
Perhaps we've been a little too hard on Miss Teen South Carolina. And I say this because I just came across this old video of Miss Hawaii (Ha-Vie-Ee), who proves to be even more brain blank. For crying out loud, she's not even thinking on the spot here.
Miss Teen S.C. Explains Away Her Incoherence
How Miss Teen S.C. can muster up the smile power to make an appearance on "The Today Show" is beyond me. I don't think girlfriend understands that she's the laughing-stock of the country right now.
Miss Teen S.C. Can't Answer A Question
We won't even begin to dissect the numerous grammatical problems with this response, but we will amuse ourselves with the content of her answer. Miss Teen South Carolina was asked a question about Americans and their poor geography skills, and she responded with something along the lines of blah, blah, blah, blah...doing goodwill abroad. WHAT?!
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A Peek Inside the Plastic Surgery Beauty Pageant
I'd heard about the Hungarian Miss Plastic Hungary beauty contest a few months ago, but now there's footage of this unprecedented event. The contestants, all of whom have gone under the knife and are oddly dressed like Leeloo from The Fifth Element, competed for prizes including a car and an apartment. (In case you're wondering, no, cosmetic procedures such as Botox didn't count — only surgery such as rhinoplasty did.)
I find this concept odd, but then again, I have always found beauty pageants unsettling.
Not Fake: Hungary Crowns Miss Plastic Surgery
Perky contestants vied for the crown of Miss Plastic Hungary this week. Only women who have gone under the knife were invited to participate in the artificial-beauty pageant held in Budapest. Botox wouldn't qualify you, but one contestant's surgically adjusted toes did get her included.
Baby Beauty Pageants Move On to the UK
We've talked about this a couple times before, but now baby beauty pageants have moved across the pond, and it seems like Brits are willing to go to even greater extremes than their American counterparts. Baby Beauty Queens, a new BBC3 documentary, follows three girls who are part of the growing UK child pageant scene. One of the girls, at age 7, had plastic surgery to "correct" her ears (her story starts at about the 7:15 minute mark).
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