We have several rubrics here at TrèsSugar that this news story could have fit under. Stranger Than Fiction. Très Bizarre.
A Bloomington, MN, man is in stable condition in spite of falling off a bridge while pretending to fall. That's right: a 23-year-old man, after some drinking (surprise, surprise!), asked his friend to pull over to the emergency lane of a bridge over the Minnesota River so he could urinate.
He climbed over the ledge, looked over at his friend, and — while pretending to fall — actually fell.
Florida Teacher Accused of Being Drunk at School Quits
Why teach middle school students boring old reading, writing, and arithmetic when you can show them how to party like a middle-aged rock star? That appears to have been 42-year-old Tampa Bay resident Kylene Nelson's strategy when she got so drunk at school she forced her terrified students to dance with her and then ran to a nearby recreation center where she passed out on some outdoor chairs. Students report being horrified that Nelson appeared to have no underwear on while she rubbed her butt all over them.
Not only does this defendant on Judge Judy not know how to provide intelligent testimony — you know, the kind that won't get her into trouble — she doesn't understand what a rhetorical question is. When Judge Judy tells you something isn't rocket science, and then asks you what rocket science is, don't define it, followed by an "I think . .
Are people getting dumber, or are we just hearing more about dumb people? This past week, I read two news stories about idiots calling 911 for nonemergency purposes. (One guy made a call because the restaurant he was at ran out of lemonade, and in another case, a drunk guy called 911 because a convenience store clerk wouldn't sell him booze.) If you'd like to hear crazy 911 tapes or read about these dumdums, then read more
An English Maury Povich Show aired their version of "who's the baby daddy," complete with paternity test results. To prolong the suspense, the host starts grilling the potential father (who has a habit of impregnating women willy-nilly) if he even knew how to spell father, to which he proudly demonstrated that he . .
"Note to self on Sunday morning: Wake up. Put on a suit. (Or maybe I never took off the suit I had on last night.) Hang out with pals I got drunk with the night before.
Meet Mark Ciptak. Instead of donating money to his presidential ticket of choice, or canvassing or any number of normal ways of showing his support, he decided to take the opportunity while his wife was recovering from childbirth to change their newborn baby's name from the lovely Ava Grace — to Sarah McCain Palin. His wife Layla declined to speak to reporters because she's tired and in shock.
Cliché alert: watching this is like watching a train wreck. You know it's going to happen, you don't want to watch, but you can't look away. Sigh.
There's usually nothing more boring than watching someone else get high. I've watched a lot of Salvia trips online lately, and generally, they're dull or disturbing. The one you're about to see, though, is pretty hilarious, and just confirms to me that doing drugs is stoopid.