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Are You Over the '80s Revival?
Ugh, yes! Make it go away, please.
If you want to know how Brenda Dickson looks so damn good still, she tells us, this video is for you. If you want to know about diet and exercise tips, this video is also for you. But if, like me, you want to watch an '80s soap star in gold lamé and weird headbands speak to the camera in a strangely blank and robotic way.
If you're in need of a midweek pick-me-up, then look no further and feast your eyes on Duffy Lucas. For one night back in the '80s, he donned his best Miami Vice-inspired sports coat, put on a pair of snazzy white dancing shoes, and gave his best lip-sync performance to his favorite song. By Phil Collins.
Hard to believe, but Stephen Colbert was the lead in a band back in the '80s. It was a time when love songs and power ballads dominated the airwaves and young Stephen had no problem playing the part of a hard-core rocker stalker. (He had a problem obeying that pesky restraining order, but a "special hidden message" had to be delivered to a "special hidden lady."
Watch out iPod. There's an audio player back in town and it's bigger, dorkier, and louder than ever. It's a music playing garment with built-in shoulder speakers, so the wearer can listen to her funked up '80s music and share it with everyone who doesn't want to hear it too!
I think it's safe to say that the following clip has every offense ever committed in the '80s: the socks, the shoulder pads, the silk-screened tees, the teased-to-death hair, the vast assortment of neon colors. The dudes flaunt spandex-tight jeans. The girls sport high-waisted minis.
Why this chick sang a song for her stylist is mind boggling — frankly, her fugly head of hair needed some serious attention. (And where is Tim Gunn when you need him?) She's lucky her hairdresser was nowhere in sight; those scissors could've done some major damage.
Before Scott Baio was 45 . . and Single, he was "Charles," a college student who lived in a basement and babysat the kids of the house to earn his keep.
Remember when Napoleon calmly took the stage in his unfashionable duds and moved awkwardly to the music for all his classmates to see? This chick does exactly that, but in the dark and on public access television. She thrusts, bounces, and masquerades around like some sort of monster out of the "Thriller" vid — but she's got no costume.
The clothing fads and neon color craze of the '80s may be making a comeback, but let's keep our fingers crossed that the hairstyles of the day remain a distant crimp in history. As the pics reveal, the hair may have been teased, but these fools weren't teasing — they took their locks seriously. It's just too bad the fumes from those big ol' bottles of Aqua-Net effed up their sense of 'do and don't.