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Older women crave `New Moon` vampires
(CNN) -- They don`t call it "Twi Crack" for nothing.Lisa Hansen, for example, thought she had lost her mind the first time she read "Twilight." Partly because she`s 36."I was absolutely worried that something was wrong with me," the Utah mother of two said. "I just couldn`t put it down -- I was obsessed completely."She picked up the first of Stephenie Meyer`s vampire novels -- recommended by a teen neighbor -- with few expectations.
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart's Close Encounter in Paris
By Peter Mikelbank
There were fans at the airports, outside their hotels. Fans who waited for hours in the cold. They wore tribute clothing, carried posters and signs, and raised a chorus of cries – "Rob-ert!," "Kris-ten!"
40 Things you would like to say at work
40 THINGS YOU’D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK:
1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of shit.
2.
‘Good evening, live from the Berlin Wall’
I thought this would be an interesting tie in from Tulipe's earlier post. On the night of Nov. 9, 1989, the Berlin Wall — the stark, menacing symbol of the Cold War — came crashing down, suddenly and dramatically.Your Holiday Story....
We had all had those holidays which stand out in our memories. It may be a fabulous memory which makes us all warm and fuzzy inside, to be compared to every future memory and be measured by it. We all have those holiday memories we'd like to forget---like the year both my Mom and my Aunt felt they had to be the one cooking the turkey and my Mom's turkey imploded. (Seriously...it became a heap of bones and the meat sort of disintegrated)
As children we had ideas about sugar plums just as much as we anticipated the tooth fairy...probably more. Later in life as we married and somehow combined families, and our family traditions changed. We created new memories together. We have had that gift we thought was going to rock someone's world which turned out to be as exciting as a flat tire.
There are those of us that prayed, pleaded, and made deals with God (or whoever else was listening) to just this one time....get that one thing or to be able to give that one great thing which would change our relationship with someone.
Of course there are also those times when we all thought "What the heck was this person thinking" when we opened a gift which astounded us. An example of this was someone close to me, her mother-in-law gave her a retractable clothesline one year, a sink hair strainer the next, and it just went even further down hill after that. (I am not kidding) And yes, we try to remember holiday seasons are about giving, not receiving....but still "What the heck!"
101 Ways to Annoy Your Co-workers
Many of us are stuck in a cube for most of the day. Why not have some fun with your co-workers. They annoy you day in and day out.
Back To Work
My partner and I pulled our police cruiser up behind a car stopped on the shoulder of the highway. We got out and asked the driver if we could help. No, he replied, there was no trouble; he had just stopped to look at a map.want a day off work
So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work.Ladies - Any Here Sound Familiar or Make Perfect Sense?
Note to the men in your life: You are the wind beneath my wings, but here is what you need to know.
Here is a guide to the point system.
Simple Duties
You make the bed.................................................+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows........0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets......................-1
You leave the toilet seat up.....................................-5
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty.................0
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex......-1
When the Kleenex runs out u shuffle slowly to the next bathroom..-2
You check out a suspicious noise at night ........................0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing.................0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something..............+5
You pummel it with a six iron...................................+10
It's her father.................................................-10
Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party.............................0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy...................................................-2
Named Tiffany....................................................-4
Tiffany is a dancer..............................................-6
Tiffany has implants.............................................-8
Her Birthday
You take her out to dinner........................................0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar ............+1
Okay, it is a sports bar.........................................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night...................................-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team........................-10
Thoughtfulness
You forget her birthday completely..............................-20
You forget your anniversary.....................................-30
You forget to pick her up at the bus station....................-45
Which is in Newark, New Jersey..................................-50
And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast.....................-60
A Night Out With The Boys
Go out with a pal ...............................................-5
And the pal is happily married ..................................-4
Or frighteningly single .........................................-7
And he drives a Mustang.........................................-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED) ..................-15
You have a few beers.............................................-9
And miss curfew by an hour......................................-12
You miss curfew by an hour and you didn't call..................-20
You get home at 3 am............................................-30
You get home at 3 am smelling of booze and cheap cigars ........-40
Her Night Out
You stay home while she goes out with her annoying friend from
work.............................................................+5
She goes out with her annoying work friends, and she comes home real late.......................................................+10
You wait up.....................................................+15
She goes out, comes home late and drunk, and you put her to bed.............................................................+20
A Night Out
You take her to a movie..........................................+2
You take her to a movie she likes................................+4
You take her to a movie you hate ................................+6
You take her to a movie you like.................................-2
It's called DeathCop 3...........................................-3
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans ..........-15
Flowers
You buy her flowers only when it's expected......................
Does anyone else find this really odd?
Ellen DeGeneres Joins American Idol as Fourth Judge Emmy Award-winning talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has joined American Idol as the new fourth judge sitting alongside Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, and Kara DioGuardi. As the new judge, Ellen will offer her own unique perspective to the contestants throughout the competition. Season 9 will premiere this January.
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