TresSugar

A Do or a Don't: Partying With Co-Workers

DearSugar — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 15:29:07 PDT

I love attending work parties. It's always fun to blow off steam with co-workers and see what they're like when they let their hair down. But I always watch myself as drinking too much in the presence of superiors could lead to quite an uncomfortable situation! Luckily, I haven't had to learn the hard way, but I've witnessed people that have and their embarrassment was overwhelming. Of course, no one aims to be a sloppy drunk, but as we all know, accidents happen. So what do you think about partying with your co-workers? Is it a do or a don't?

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Where Do You Stand: Crying at Work

DearSugar — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 12:00:00 PDT

Generally speaking, women are more emotional than men, but there is a time and a place to let your feelings show. Since life doesn't stop just because we are at work, sometimes a bad day at the office can be more about personal strife than bad numbers. On the other hand, getting emotional over poor performance isn't all that uncommon yet we all know shedding a tear in front of co-workers, superiors, and subordinates might not be the best idea. No one wants to look weak or be seen as overly emotional in the work place, but sometimes you just can't help it! I've let my emotions get the best of me before, but tell me where you stand on crying at work? Does the idea of letting your emotions show deserve the bad wrap it has?

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The Top 10 Healthiest Jobs

FitSugar — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 02:00:00 PST

Ever wonder if your job is healthy or not? Mine is kind of funny - blogging is considered relatively unhealthy (sitting in front of a computer typing, all day long), however blogging about health and fitness sort of negates that fact. At least I hope it does.

Point is, some jobs are considered healthier than others. So here are the most healthy jobs you can have based on if it is athletics-related or if it promotes a balanced, wholesome workplace environment (not including professional athletic sports):

Activity Specialist
Chiropractor
Choreographer
Florist
Massage Therapist
Nutritionist
Personal Trainer
Professor
Running Coach
Yoga Instructor

Do you do any of the above jobs? If so, share why it is (or isn't) as healthy as it sounds.

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News to Me: Women Call in Sick More Than Men

DearSugar — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 08:00:00 PST

We all get sick, it's just a part of life, but did you know that workers are calling in sick less often than they did a decade ago? That's the good news, but according to MSNBC, women are still absent nearly twice as often as their male counterparts. Although some people feel the obvious reason for this is because women are the main caretakers in the family and need to tend to their sick children at home, that isn't necessarily the case.

According to Terence McMenamin, of the Bureau of Labor Statistics, even people who have no children at home, the reported absence rate is higher among women than among men. I am sure we are all guilty of playing hooky and using the sick card from time to time, but ladies, tell me: Do you make it a point to use all of your allotted sick time?

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Dear Poll: How Do You Feel About Swearing?

DearSugar — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 13:00:00 PDT

According to a new study by Norwich's University of East Anglia (UEA), using profanity at work isn't all that bad, in fact, it's been proven to boost team spirit! Not only does using "taboo language" cut stress around the office, it helps develop and maintain solidarity.

Professor Yehuda Baruch even went as far as saying that attempts to prevent workers from swearing (not in front of customers of course) could have a negative impact on employees. Personally, I think it feels good to drop the occasional F bomb when called for, but what's your take on using profanity at the work place? Do you think it's acceptable or completely inappropriate?

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The How-To Lounge: Coping With Office Gossip

DearSugar — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 09:00:00 PDT

Office gossip is inevitable, but you can find yourself in deep water if you're in the middle of it, so here are some tips on staying out of the firestorm at work.

Click here to

Remember that the people you work with are your co-workers, not your best friends, so always maintain a level of professionalism.
Drinking too much at your office party or acting out of control at your work picnic are surefire ways to have people talk about you, so keep yourself in check.
Make it a policy of yours not to gossip about others in your office, or else you will find that others will gossip about you.
Gossip is typically false or fabricated information spread through the grapevine, so take everything with a grain of salt and before you act on something you've heard, always confirm that your information is accurate.
The only way to keep something a true secret is to stay mum, so don't tell even a trusted co-worker anything that you wouldn't want everyone in the office to know.
If you catch someone spreading office gossip about you, the best thing to do is nip it in the bud ASAP before it gets to the wrong ears and damages your credibility at work.

Have any of you been affected by office gossip? Or do you have any good recommendations you can share?

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Hysteria Director Tanya Wexler Talks Vibrators, Faking It, and Duck Sex

Tara Block — Fri, 25 May 2012 04:00:15 PDT

Don't be shy . . . It's time to talk sex toys! And Hysteria director Tanya Wexler is writing us a prescription for pleasure. Tanya's film - what she calls "the vibrator movie you can bring your mom to" - is in limited release and stars Hugh Dancy, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Rupert Everett. When working on a romantic comedy that centers around the invention of the vibrator, you end up with some entertaining and embarrassing situations along the way, and lucky for us, Tanya spilled all the hilariously dirty details. From teaming up with the film's partner Jimmyjane for a drive-by vibrator drop-off to a certain female Oscar-winner to trying unsuccessfully to get ducks to shag on command, Tanya was bursting with great stories from working on this very unconventional film. And while Tanya isn't ashamed to discuss the sexy subject matter of her latest film with us, the mother of four and her partner of 21 years did have a tricky challenge telling her preteen kids what her movie was about. (She eventually gave them the script and let them figure it out themselves!) Check out our interview with the fun-loving director now, and we dare you not to have a girl crush on her by the end!

TrèsSugar: What were some of the challenges to getting a movie made about vibrators?
Tanya Wexler: Getting the script right was tricky because if you just make a movie about the invention of the vibrator, it's actually a really short movie: you go "bzz" and it's done. And we had a kind of light romantic comedy. I say I made the vibrator movie you can bring your mom to. But some people wanted it to be raunchy or some people wanted it to be more serious and about feminism. People project a lot onto this movie of what they want, because there isn't a lot out there about vibrators and women's pleasure, and we still don't really deal with that topic very well, or we're overly antsy around it. And as a result, people have a lot of ideas of what the movie could and should be, and you can't please everyone. [laughs]

TS: Ha, good one.
TW: It's nonstop!

TS: Do you find sex toys inherently funny or something to be seriously celebrated?
TW: Yes!

TS: Both?
TW: Yes! Yes. I think they make me laugh, and I think that the inner kind of Beavis and Butt-head in all of us goes "[laugh]." You know, that inner 13-year-old, like, "Hahaha vibrator . . . " and yet they're awesome and fun.

TS: What shocked you the most when researching the movie?
TW: That ducks are the rapists of the bird world, and you'll see when you see the movie, because there's a little bit of questionable duck behavior - or awesome duck behavior - in the movie. It's totally a sidebar, but you cannot make ducks shag on command. I'm just saying.

TS: What about the whole history of hysteria being a medical condition?
TW: When I first heard the idea, I was like, "What do you mean it was invented in Victorian times?" I knew about hysteria, but the idea that the treatment was manual [British accent] massage deparaxism - which is what they called it - and, of course, the denial. The most shocking thing is the denial, that they didn't think it was sexual.

TS: Do you think they were really in denial?
TW: No, I don't think that some people were. My college roommate was with her high school boyfriend for two years and she had never had an orgasm. I think there's all kinds of denial, especially with women's sexuality. So the fact that there are young women today who haven't had an orgasm, whether self-induced - which is insane - or with a partner, then why wouldn't we think back then that women wouldn't know what orgasms were?

They would get a massage, and the doctor's saying, "Without a penis, this isn't sex, because sex is about procreation," so what is this? The best physical therapy you've ever had. So once you don't think of it as something other than what the doctor's supposed to do to cure your uncontrollable crying or uncontrollable laughter or whatever, then it's just an awesome muscle spasm. If you don't think women have their own inherent sexuality, then you're not thinking about it like that.

Keep reading for Tanya's thoughts on Fifty Shades and more!

8 Myths About Sex Differences

The Good Men Project — Fri, 25 May 2012 02:00:49 PDT

We're happy to present this story from one of our favorite sites, The Good Men Project. Today, Agustín Fuentes points out that when it comes to men and women, what "everyone knows" isn’t what science shows.

Everyone knows that men and women are really different. We think differently and act differently because we are wired differently. I mean look at our brains and genitals: they are just plain different. Right?

Wrong.

What if many of the things we assume about the biology of difference are not so different at all? What if it is not our “wiring” but the ways in which our bodies and minds develop and play out in society that makes us seem so unalike? Could it be that men and women are more similar than we think?

I Dumped the Love of My Life and Now She Doesn’t Trust Me

Yes, women give birth and lactate and men do not. And yes, men are, on average, slightly larger than women and usually have greater upper body strength. There are these basic biological differences between the sexes and they are important . . . but why always focus on the differences and not the biological, and behavioral, similarities? Ahh, that would be because of gender.

Gender is a powerful reality; it is the perception and expectation of differences between males and females and it shapes both our bodies and our society. Gender differences are real and important, but they are not hard wired or even static. There is no biological or evolutionary mandate that only women really care for babies and show emotions, or that males are the best at economics and politics and prefer beers and skirt-chasing to domestic bliss. These are patterns of gender roles and expectations that shape the ways we look at our biology and behavior. They influence the way we expect the world to be. It is the strength of the societal myths about sex that fool us into thinking that men and women are so different by nature.

So let’s bust some of those myths.

Gender and sex are the same thing.

Sex and gender are interconnected, but not the same thing. Sex is a biological state that is measured via what chromosomes you have (XX or XY, usually) and aspects of your body and physiology. Gender includes the roles, expectations and perceptions that a given society has for the sexes. Most societies have two genders on a masculinity-femininity continuum. Some have more. We are born with a biological sex, but acquire gender. There is a ton of individual diversity within societies and sexes in regards to how sex and gender play out in behavior and personality.

There is an extensive body of data demonstrating this, but people interested only in specific differences between men and women choose to ignore it.

Male and female genitals are totally different.

Most people think that male and female genitals are about as different as can be: penis=male and vagina=female. But even this basic dichotomy is not quite correct: the genitals emerge from the same mass of embryonic tissue. For the first six weeks of life the tissue masses develop identically. At about 6-7 weeks, depending on whether the fetus has XX or XY chromosomes (usually), the tissues to start to differentiate. One part of the tissues begins to form the clitoris or penis and another forms the labia or scrotum. Another area begins to form into either the testes or the ovaries. This means that physiologically, male and female genitals are made of the same stuff and work in similar ways.

Male and female brains are different.

If there were really deep seated differences between male and female human behavior and biology they should show up in the brain. The genitals start in the same place and end up looking different, the brain does not. Our brains are pretty much the same. Male brains are a bit bigger than females’ (like their bodies) and females’ brains stop growing earlier than males (as with their bodies). However, whatever one may believe about other organs, in the case of healthy brains, size really does NOT matter one iota. There also might be a few differences in a small part of the brain called the straight gyrus (need more testing in this one). Other than these minor aspects there are no consistent and replicated reliable differences in male and female brains; it is a human brain . . . but how we use it is another matter.

Hormones make the difference.

Everyone thinks that males and females have different hormones . . . testosterone for men and estrogen for women. Nope, all the actual hormones in males and females are the same: there are no male-only or female-only hormones. Both men and women can get a flood of testosterone when they get into a fight or take part in an exhilarating sports match. Both men and women can get a flood of oxytocin and prolactin when they pick up a newborn baby. There can be differences in the levels, patterns, and impacts of some of these hormones in male and female bodies, but individual variation is often more important than the variation between the sexes.

Keep reading for the rest.

Need an Anonymous Outlet to Vent Your Money Problems?

Emily Co — Fri, 25 May 2012 00:15:13 PDT

Drowning in debt? Worried about the financial lie you told your partner? I know you need a place to vent - we all do. What better place to spill your money frustrations than Savvy Confessions, a community group that will keep your identity anonymous?

Whether you're seeking advice or just need to rant about something, share your work secrets at Savvy Confessions, even if they're not pretty, because no one's here to judge you.

A Veggie-Filled Indoor Picnic

OnSugar Blog — Thu, 24 May 2012 11:45:46 PDT

A sandwich of asparagus and mushrooms could be kind of dull - or, as Between the Bread demonstrates, it could be a triumphant lesson in culinary restraint.

Ann Arbor's famed Zingerman's Deli is known for its corned beef sandwiches, but it's also not shy when it comes to packing on farmers market fresh veggies.

This recipe, dubbed Rodger's Big Picnic, comes from my trusty Roadfood Sandwiches cookbook, which describes this sandwich as Zingerman's ode to Michigan produce and particularly asparagus.

Putting this recipe together, I worried it would be too dull. The mushrooms are just broiled, not marinated, and the sandwich is adorned with nothing but sharp cheddar and Dijon mustard.

But with perfectly cooked, totally fresh produce, two ingredients are all you need. The sandwich was unexpectedly graceful, simple yet full-bodied, and hard to put down.

For the recipe, keep reading.