TresSugar

Women's Common Complaint: He Orgasms Too Quickly

DearSugar — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 09:00:00 -0800

I don't know about you, but I don't know anyone who makes passionate love for hours on end. This is mainly because, one, who has time for that, and two, most guys can't hold it for that long. For most couples, sex lasts about seven minutes, but if that's too fast for you to orgasm, or if your man can't last that long, here are some tips to help lengthen your time together.

Use a condom. It will decrease the guy's sensitivity, making him take longer to orgasm.
Practice having sex for as long as you can by having him pull out every so often when things get intense down there. This will make sex about having sex, not about reaching orgasm.
Move around a lot. Spend more time in positions where you're in control of the speed and intensity. Being on top works well.
Focus on having your orgasm first, without having intercourse. Whether it's through oral sex, manual stimulation, or using a sex toy, once you receive your pleasure, you won't feel sexually frustrated if he orgasms after three minutes of sex.
Get busy often. If you only have sex once a week or less, your guy will be too excited to hold his orgasm. The more you do it, the longer he'll be able to last.

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Women's Common Complaint: He Goes Straight For My Boobs

DearSugar — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 10:00:00 -0800

Foreplay is essential for most women in order to get aroused. All that kissing and touching makes us feel beautiful and sexy, and it also strengthens the emotional connection we feel with our partner. The problem is, some guys don't get it. They often rush through the passionate part and head straight for our boobs! While seeing and touching them is a turn-on for him, he may automatically think it's a turn-on for us too. Now I'm not saying that caressing our breasts is a turn-off, but there's a right time to touch them, and first thing isn't always the time - a guy has to ease his way through foreplay!

So how can you deal with the guy who does this? To find out read more.

The best way to let your guy know you're not into him fondling your boobs right off the bat is to communicate that to him. That's not to say you should sit him down and talk it out - you might shatter his ego and scare him off - but if you're a verbal person, the next time you're getting it on, try suggesting things for him to do (in a sexy voice) that does turn you on. Not only will it redirect his hands, but some guys love it when a girl tells them what to do!

If talking about it makes you feel uncomfortable, or you're worried about it ruining the mood, gently use your hands to communicate your needs. Slide his hand down and place it on your hip, or flip your body around and change positions so his hands are forced to switch positions too. Whatever you do, don't just put up with the groping. Some guys need a little direction so if he doesn't appreciate the guidance, then he may not be the guy for you.

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Women's Common Complaint: My Man Is Letting Himself Go

DearSugar — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Many women take great pride in making themselves look good. They eat right, exercise, spend money on makeup, manicures, and highlights, and they're always up to date on the latest fashion. We want to look good for our own self-confidence, but we also do it for the men in our lives. But once we're in a relationship, I'm sure we can all admit to getting comfortable and perhaps not trying as hard. Guys are the same way, but what happens if your man takes comfort to a whole other level and completely lets himself go? Maybe he grows a beard, wear sweats all the time, doesn't shower as much, spends an insane amount of time on the couch, drinks excessively, or gains weight. He may think, "she loves me no matter what" so what's a girl to do? To hear my suggestions read more.

He should be able to be himself with you, but if it's affecting your relationship or his physical and mental health, something must change so tell him how you feel. Explain that it's upsetting that he doesn't show as much effort as he once did, and that it's difficult for you to watch him lose interest in taking care of himself. Give him specific examples so he knows exactly what you're bothered by. You don't have to be mean, but don't beat around the bush either. Be clear with what you expect, and hopefully he'll appreciate your friendly, yet stern advice. After all, he wants you to still find him attractive, right? Has this situation ever happened in one of your relationships?

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Women's Common Complaint: Intercourse Doesn't Do It For Me

DearSugar — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

If you have a difficult time reaching an orgasm solely through intercourse, then you're not alone. Seventy percent of women need special attention paid to their clitoris in order to achieve an orgasm. Logistically speaking, the motion of sex doesn't really provide the direct contact women need, so many women can be left pretty unsatisfied. If sex is consistently mediocre, then you won't be very excited about doing it. But don't give up! It's all about patience and creativity, so start with some of my ideas.

Slow down. While it's nice to rip each other's clothes off and go at it, a woman needs to be warmed up. Spend some extra time on foreplay. Kiss each other all over, let your hands wander all over each other's clothed bodies, and then slowly take turns undressing each other. The anticipation of what's to come is sure to build up excitement.
Since you know that intercourse is a guaranteed party pleaser for your man, let the focus be on you in the beginning. Have him pleasure you with his hands, his mouth, his words, or a vibrator - whatever gets you aroused. Make sure you reach orgasm before you move on to intercourse. That way you'll have your turn, and he'll have his, and you can both really enjoy yourselves.

Two more tips, so read more.

If you need both clitoral and vaginal stimulation, then one of you will have to make it happen. Since men are doing a lot of the work when it comes to intercourse, it may be difficult for him to do two things at once. So while you're having sex, you can use your hand to pleasure yourself, and he can focus on the rest.
If you don't want to use your hands, pick up a vibrating ring. It's a little flexible ring that has a vibrator attached. The ring goes around the base of the man's penis, and the vibrator is on top, giving you 20 minutes of stimulation right where you need it.

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Women's Common Complaint: He Won't Perform Oral Sex

DearSugar — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Certainly some of us are lucky enough to have a partner who's good at oral sex, but unfortunately that doesn't always means he's so inclined to do it. If that's the case, here are a few tips to get your man to pleasure you.

Ask for it. Be bold, take charge, and tell him exactly what you want. Say it in your own sweet way.
If you don't want to have to ask for it, place yourself in a position (literally) that communicates exactly what you want. Shift your body and his kisses appropriately to move him in the right direction.
You can even make it a little game by taking turns with one another or by incorporating oral sex into something new that you're experimenting with.
When it does happen, make sure that he knows how good he makes you feel. If he believes that he's good at it, he'll be more likely to want to do it in the future.

Ideally, it should be fun for both of you, so work together to come up with ways to make it more pleasurable for him. Got your own tips? Share them in the comments below.

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Women's Common Complaint: He Occasionally Sees Strippers

DearSugar — Tue, 27 May 2008 07:00:00 -0700

So your man doesn't hit the strip clubs every weekend, but what if he goes with the boys every once in a while? If it's something you don't like or even understand, you're not alone, but talking about it with him will surely make a big difference. Here are some points you can cover.

Ask him why he likes going to strip clubs so you can get a better understanding of his rationale. Maybe he goes so he can spend guy time with his buddies, or maybe it's a way to have fun and relieve stress.
Explain how it makes you feel, that you're worried he may be more sexually interested in these other women than he is you. This is a good way to find out if there's anything about your sex life that bothers him or if he wishes things were different.
Ask him if it's one of his sexual fantasies to see a woman strip down and dance for him, then ask if he'd be interested in you stripping for him instead!

Dear's Advice:Remember that boys will be boys and just because your significant other enjoys hitting the strip club every once in a while, it doesn't necessarily mean he's any less attracted to you. With that said, if talking about it doesn't make you feel more secure, or if he's not willing to see things from your perspective and make some changes, you might want to reconsider your relationship.

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Women's Common Complaint: He's Not Into My Sexy Lingerie

DearSugar — Tue, 13 May 2008 12:00:00 -0700

You tried so hard to get your man excited - you went shopping with your girlfriend and picked up the sexiest satin and lace number you could find. You thought you looked great and was sure your man wouldn't be able to resist you. Then when you slipped it on for what you thought was going to be one amazing night, he wasn't that into it. What gives?

While it's true that guys are very visual when it comes to sex, not all guys love to see their woman in sexy lingerie. It all comes down to personal preference, and a feather-fringed nighty may not be the type of thing that turns your guy on. So what can you do about it?

If you love wearing sexy getups because it makes you feel sexy and beautiful, then don't worry about what he thinks. Wear it anyway because your confidence will surely be a turn-on.
If you only bought it for him and he's not even batting an eye, find out what he does like you to wear. Maybe he's into a plain white T-shirt or your old high-school cheerleading outfit or perhaps he'd rather see you in nothing at all. You'll never know unless you ask.
While many guys get turned on by what they see, maybe your man is more intrigued by how you smell or feel, or what you say to him. Again, you'll only know by talking to him about it.

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Women's Common Complaint: He's Bad at Oral Sex

DearSugar — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Not everyone is good at everything. Maybe your man is a passionate kisser, sensitive listener, and makes a delicious Eggplant Parm, but when it comes to pleasing you, his skills are slightly lacking. One common complaint I hear from women is that they aren't satisfied when it comes to oral sex. So ladies, if your man seems to be lost when he goes below the belt, don't give up! I'm sure he's really trying hard to please you, so here are some suggestions on how to help make it happen.

Maybe there's a problem with logistics. Propping your hips up by placing a pillow under your bum will make it easier for him to reach you. This will also prevent him from getting lower back or neck pain.
If what he's doing isn't pleasing you at all, don't fake it. Help him out a little by letting him know what you do like. Give his some specific directions, even guide him with your own hands. At first it may be difficult (and perhaps a little embarrassing), but if you don't ask for what you want, you're not going to get it.

What else might help? To find out read more

When he does do something right, be sure let him know. If you're not into verbalizing your pleasure, a little moan or a squeeze on his shoulder will let him know you like what he's doing.
Everyone likes something different so be patient - it might just take a little time for him to get to know what makes you tick.

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Women's Common Complaint: He Falls Asleep Right After Sex

DearSugar — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 07:00:00 -0700

You just shared the most beautiful, mind-blowing experience with your man. Afterwards, you want to stay up and chat about your love, but he's all about rolling over and going right to sleep. So what gives?

Now while I realize not all men react this way, generally speaking, it's more common for guys to get snoozy after sex. But don't get mad at your man - they aren't hitting the pillows because they want to avoid talking to you; in fact, there are many reasons why men fall asleep after sex. Since most people do the deed when they cuddle up in bed at night, they're tired to begin with, so after sex, sleeping is the next logical response. Another reason is that after reaching orgasm, both men and women release a cocktail of chemicals such as oxytocin and vasopressin, which have drowsy effects. Ironically, they seem to be secreted in equal amounts in men and women, but we all know who orgasms more frequently! Sex can also be really active, so if your guy is doing a lot of the work, then afterwards he could be physically exhausted.

So how can you still get in a little cuddling and chatting before bedtime? To find out read more.

If you tend to get busy right before bed, try to hit the sheets an hour earlier. That way you'll have time for the action and time to chat before lights out.
Make a deal with him. Tell him how much it would mean to you if you could stay up for a bit cuddling and chatting. Agree on an amount of time (10 minutes perhaps) so you get your post-sex time in and he knows afterwards you'll let him go to bed without being upset.

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Women's Common Complaint: He's Only Affectionate When He Wants Sex

DearSugar — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 11:00:00 -0800

Guys and girls are so different, especially when it comes to sex and intimacy. Since we are very emotional and nurturing souls, we show someone we care by kissing, hugging, and being affectionate. On the other hand, guys show they care by doing things for their partners - fixing things and solving problems. You see for guys, all that mushy stuff we crave clicks on a switch inside them that says it's time for sex. To his brain and body, affection leads to sex. Perhaps that's why guys rarely hug and kiss you just because! This can be really frustrating for a woman, and can make her feel unloved and unwanted by her man.

So how can you get him to give you a little loving during the day without you two ending up naked? Click here to read more.

Guys aren't mind readers, so it's important to communicate your needs. If you want a guy to hold your hand, reach over and hold his hand. When you're needing a hug, ask for one. If you want your man to make an extra effort to kiss you at other times besides when you're lying in bed, tell him. Just be honest and say that it's important to you to feel loved all the time, not just when he wants to have sex. You may have to remind him a few times since this kind of innocent affection doesn't usually come naturally for guys, but if he knows it means a lot to you, I'm sure he'll come around.

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