TresSugar

Would Having an Extravagant/Expensive Wedding Deter You From Calling It Quits?

DearSugar — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Another celebrity couple has called it quits, and yet again, I have to say I'm not all that surprised. Star Jones, who married Al Reynolds back in 2004, made her wedding more of a celebrity circus than a day to celebrate their love. She had numerous wedding sponsors and she made it very clear that she wanted her wedding to be one of the biggest parties of the year but as we all know, it's more about the marriage than the wedding. So what happens when you have a larger-than-life dream wedding only to have the marriage dissolve? Does it add even more pressure and angst to your decision to separate? Would you feel embarrassed or guilty that you placed so much emphasis on it? Ladies, what I'm asking is, would you have second thoughts about ending your unhappy marriage if you had a big, extravagant, over-the-top wedding?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

Source

You Asked: She Invited Her Family to My Wedding!

DearSugar — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My fiancé and I are pulling together our wedding on our own with no help from a wedding planner and minimal financial help from our families. We are trying to keep our guest list reasonable so that we can stick to our budget. This has proven to be difficult since we both have large extended families, so we've had to pick and choose who we're inviting. So imagine my surprise when my fiancé's brother's wife called me to insist that her parents (who I've never met) be invited to the wedding to care for her 2-year-old child. It would be one thing if she was a direct family member, but they are a few degrees removed. To add insult to injury, my fiancé's brother's wife is already bringing a nanny, which makes her request even more outlandish.

When she first asked me about this, she did ask, however as I told her about our budgeting concerns, she became increasingly adamant, and ending up basically instructing me to invite them. Since we are paying for 90 percent of this wedding, I feel like I should be able to just say no, but I don't want to start off my marriage on the wrong foot, this is part of his family after all. I'm really told but most of all astounded by her query. Do you have any advice?
- Broke Bride Brooke

To see DearSugar's answer read more.

Dear Broke Bride Brooke,

First and foremost, I must commend you and your fiancé for planning and hosting your wedding alone, I know that's not an easy task. Since you're sticking to a pretty tight budget here, I completely understand how you'd feel taken aback by this woman's request. Like you, I'd think having a nanny there to help care for her child would be more than enough, so something tells me there's more to her wanting her parents there. The etiquette for inviting quests is all very circumstantial, but at the end of the day, it's your wedding, not hers, so the choice is ultimately up to you and your fiancé.

Of course, starting off your marriage on the right foot is important, as is not burning any bridges, but it's even more important to not go into debt all because of one night - remember, it's about the marriage, not the wedding. So with that said, I'd talk it over with your fiancé, tell him how you feel and if you both see eye to eye, I advise you to say no to her. Now if your fiancé feels that it's important to have them there, unfortunately you're going to have to extend the invite - while this is your special day, it's his, too. I think we can agree that this was a pretty presumptuous request, but you should not, by any means, feel badly for saying no if that's the decision you make. I hope I was of some help, and good luck.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

Source

You Asked: My Boyfriend Wasn't Invited to Her Wedding!

DearSugar — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I'm the maid of honor in my best friend's wedding this summer. It's a three day destination wedding and when I received my invitation yesterday, my boyfriend, of four months, wasn't invited. I understand that some people have a strict "no ring, no bring" policy, but I'm her maid of honor, and it's a destination wedding, not to mention my boyfriend and I are inseparable! I know this is her special day and I don't want to add more stress to her life right now, but I can't help but feel incredibly hurt that she didn't invite me with a date, knowing darn well that I have a serious boyfriend. Could this have been an oversight? Can I say something to her? I need your advice ASAP! - Irate Izzy

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more

Dear Irate Izzy,

I'm sorry to hear that your boyfriend was left out, but I can sense the anger in your tone so I advise you to wait until you've cooled off a bit before talking to the bride. You're right, she's probably already stressed out enough as it is and part of the maid of honor's job is to ease some of that worry, so I'd proceed with caution. Honestly, I'd be pretty upset too, but keep in mind that she might be on a very tight budget or have guest restraints due to venue size or catering limitations. She also might have her own set of rules, similar to "no ring, no bring" in which case she'd have to draw the line somewhere.

With that said, it's doubtful to me that this was an oversight, so if these restrictions don't apply to her, I'd be straight up and ask her if your boyfriend can come. Unfortunately there's nothing more you can do after asking, so try to keep in mind that although it would be nice to have him there with you, it's ultimately her decision. I hope it all works out at the end, but if she doesn't extend him the invite, try not to let her decision put a damper on her special day - we all know brides can do the darnedest things!

Source

The How-To Lounge: Sending Wedding Invitations

DearSugar — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Once the save the dates have been mailed, it's time to get your wedding invitations ordered. Even if you aren't having a fancy affair, your guests need to know the date, time, location, and formality of your big day. Of course there are no rules when it comes to your invite, but to see some of the traditions to consider, read more.

Wedding invitations are usually sent out at least six to eight weeks before the wedding date and even earlier for destination weddings.
The style of the invitation will set the tone of the overall theme of your wedding day, so choose your invites accordingly. While most wedding invitations are a bit fancier than the save the date cards, that's by no means a strict rule.
Most invitations are written in the third person. Dates, times, and streets are typically spelled out, and no punctuation is used to finish a statement.
When writing out the invitation, make sure to add all the names of the people hosting the wedding. For example, if the bride's family is hosting, the invitation should read, for example, "Mr. and Mrs. James Roberts request the honor of your presence." If the mother and father of the bride are divorced but both contributing, both names should be present. If both the bride's and groom's families are contributing, all names should be listed, and if the bride and groom are hosting their own wedding, their full names should be written out - e.g., "Katie Anne Smith and Jacob Allen Lee request the pleasure of your company at their marriage."
Inviting guests to bring a date is completely discretionary if they are not living together or married - many people firmly believe in the "no ring no bring" policy. The size of your venue and any monetary constraints will play a big role in making your decisions but tread lightly because you don't want anyone to have hurt feelings.
When addressing wedding envelopes, remember to use the proper title - Mr., Mrs., Miss, Dr., etc. Address the invite to married couples as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, single couples with a guest as Mr. John Smith and Guest, and unmarried couples living together as Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Johnson.
In addition to adding your stamped response card in with your wedding invitation, remember to include any driving directions or additional wedding day information in the envelope as well.

You Asked: Is This What My Life Will Be Like?

DearSugar — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I am recently engaged as of a few months. We hadn't even been dating a year when he proposed but I knew without a doubt that I wanted to marry him. We are set to be married this coming Winter. As soon as we started planning this wedding, things have really spun out of control. Our fights can get really nasty and we've never fought like this before. I know a lot of it is me, like I keep getting cold feet, but I can't imagine my life without him. Every time we get into a serious argument, all I can do is ask myself, "Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like?"

I love him with all of my heart, and I just don't know what to do. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I'm just so scared and I don't understand where all this is coming from. I constantly feel like things are different than when we first started dating. For instance, he doesn't think any of my jokes or the funny things I do are that funny anymore. This really hurts my feelings because he used to think I was hilarious and a sense of humor is so important to me. So what now? Now I just have to not act like myself anymore because it annoys my fiancé? Is this normal to have these kinds of questions? - Getting Cold Feet Connie

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more

Dear Getting Cold Feet Connie,

Remember Connie, fighting to a certain degree is completely normal in all relationships, but when you say that things get nasty, I see a big red flag. Planning a wedding can be stressful, as can making such a big commitment, and while part of you should feel scared, the rest of you should feel excited. This is not the time to be nasty towards each other so I wonder if your fiancé is acting more serious because he's stressed out, and or feeling some of the same fears you are. Does he have a lot going on at work or is he worried about his finances now that you're getting married? I suggest having a major heart to heart because the only way to get answers is by asking the tough questions.

A lot of couples get carried away with wedding planning when what they should really be concentrating on is the marriage itself. Questioning if your life is really going to be like this is a very loaded question, and one that shouldn't be taken lightly. In times of stress and change, some people's true colors shine so I highly advise you to make 100 percent certain of this engagement before saying I do. Although you're in the midst of planning your wedding, it's never too late to change your mind.

Source

Wedding Planning Week in Review

DearSugar — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 04:00:00 -0700

If you missed any of wedding planning week here on Dear, check out my recap below!

Learn proper wedding reception etiquette, like how to arrange your seating chart and the best way to incorporate speeches and toasts.
Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently at your wedding?
Know of any wedding disaster stories? Share them with other Dear readers!
Need some help tackling that hefty guest list? Make it easy with Dear's handy tips.
When it comes to inviting kids to the big day, where do you stand?
Weddings are expensive even if it is not yours, so who do you think should have to pay for the bridesmaid expenses?
Stay on top of your wedding planning and check out part two of our wedding timeline.
Would you ever write your own vows?
His mom just won't butt out of the wedding planning! How would you handle this?
I've got everything you need to know to plan your rehearsal dinner without the fuss!

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

Source

The How-To Lounge: Wedding Timeline, Part I

DearSugar — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Whether you're going casual and quaint or all-out traditional, planning a wedding takes a lot of work and even more organization. Following a wedding timeline will keep you both sane and organized. Obviously the first step in wedding planning is choosing the right day. Once you've got that narrowed down - keeping in mind the time of year and any other events or holidays that may interfere - it's go time! To see some important points to consider in phase one of your wedding planning, read more

One year in advance

Create a wedding folder or binder to store the details of your event, including any inspirational ideas. Staying organized will be the best thing you can do for yourself during this process.
When it comes to planning the big event, the first thing you'll want to determine is the style you're hoping for. Formal or casual? Whimsical or modern? Many of the decisions you'll make will have you referring back to the thematics.
Plan your budget. Consider absolutely everything, and don't forget to leave room for the unexpected.
Select a venue that works with both your budget and style. Don't choose the first one you see - shop around!
Research and begin the selection of your wedding professionals: caterer, photographer, florist, etc.
It's also time to start wedding gown shopping. You want to get the perfect one so leave yourself a little time to be indecisive. Also, keep in mind that it can take anywhere from five to eight months to have a wedding dress made, not to mention the time it takes for any adjustments.
Pick your wedding party and make sure that the lucky few are willing and able to participate.

Stay tuned in the next few weeks for part two of our Wedding Timeline.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

Source

Sunday Confessional: She Has Post-Wedding Blues

TresSugar — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 03:00:00 -0800

We're scouring the juicy (but anonymous!) secrets posted on Truu Confessions and letting you weigh in. This week, a confessor admits that she's sad her wedding is over. She says:

"I have post-wedding blues. Not because I really want to keep planning a wedding and crap like that, but because now it's gone. That is one more thing checked off the list, and that means I am getting older. I wanted to be his wife. I didn't want to feel like I had nothing left to look forward to."

Do you think this is a big deal?

Dear Poll: Would You Want to Know?

DearSugar — Fri, 16 May 2008 08:00:49 -0700

Bachelor parties are known for their wild and crazy antics. It's a time for boys to be boys and for good friends to let loose and revert to their partying ways. But when you add in the code of secrecy that so many bachelor parties abide by, it can leave the women curious and worried about what really happened.

I'm all for guys having alone time with their friends, and while I'd like to think I wouldn't be a controlling girlfriend who needs to know all the details, I just don't know if I could resist asking! Since I'm torn on the subject, tell me, would you want to know the specifics of your fiance's bachelor party, or are some things better left unsaid?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

Source

You Asked: Do I Have to Invite Her to My Wedding?

DearSugar — Tue, 13 May 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,
I am getting married, and my fiancé and I are paying for our own wedding. We are keeping it small, and I don't want to invite my aunt and her family who both my mother and I have a long history of ill will toward. Our families have had numerous verbal blowouts, and my aunt hasn't even acknowledged my engagement with a call, card, or a gift.

My mom wants me to invite them to keep peace in the family for my 90-year-old grandfather, but I feel that having them there in such a small intimate setting will be bad karma and could ruin my wedding day. Do I have an obligation to invite them? I could use some objective advice to present to my mother. - Torn Tammy

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Torn Tammy,

The greatest part about having a small wedding is that you don't have to invite everyone. It sounds as though this part of your family is a huge source of contention for not only you but your mom as well, so I don't blame you for not wanting to include them. Your wedding day will no doubt be stressful enough as it is, so I don't see why you should add even more reason to worry. With that said, I do understand your mother's intentions of keeping the peace, but this is your day, not hers. Although your grandfather is elderly, hopefully he and the rest of your family understand your rationale and desire to keep your wedding small, intimate, and filled with love and good wishes.

Source

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.