TresSugar

Do Tell: Do You Like To Be Alone When You're Sick?

DearSugar — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 07:00:00 -0800

If you haven't noticed, it's flu season. I feel like everywhere I turn, someone's sneezing, coughing, or blowing their nose - gross! I haven't caught the bug yet, but when I do, I can guarantee that I'm going to want to be left alone. I'm not one that likes being doted on, but I know a lot of people who enjoy the company of their roommate, best friend or significant other when they're under the weather. Ladies, since it's that time of the year again, do tell: Do you like to be left alone when you're sick or do you feel better having someone to commiserate with?

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Conventional Wisdom: Ask a Feminist

TresSugar — Mon, 04 May 2009 04:00:00 -0700

I have a problem. I don't know what's going on, but the past three guys I dated after a while just stopped returning my phone calls and texts. They just left me in the dust! I usually blame myself. Was it something I did or said? Did we spend too much time together? But I can't even talk about it with them because the guy disappears! This hurts so much. Please help me figure out what I should do to prevent this from happening in the future.

- Sick of Being Ditched

To see how a feminist responds, read more

Dear Sick of Being Ditched,

I want to say first off - hang in there. It does feel painful to put yourself out there in the dating world and to feel rejected. We all go through it, and most of us weather it until we find the person who is right for us. I'm not going to tell you that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle, but I do know that before you can put yourself out there, you need to know who you are. I suspect there are larger issues that need to be addressed.

I would need to have more information to truly give you the proper advice. First off, I wonder how old you are, how long you dated these men, or if you slept with them or not? Even without knowing that information, I am concerned that you are blaming yourself and wondering if it was something you did or said.

Dating is not just about being accepted or liked by the person you're dating, it's also about finding out if you really like the person. You don't say anything about how you felt about them; you seem only to focus on the fact that they didn't call you back. Sometimes, if we feel insecure and seek others to accept us, we may project neediness, and people back off. I'm not saying that's what happened in these cases - perhaps they were jerks, or there wasn't chemistry - but it's something to think about.

I suggest you focus on yourself before you date again. What are your talents, your interests? What is it about you that your family and real friends love? Most importantly, what is it about you that you love? Cultivate that, respect that, and the next person you meet who sees that and appreciates who you really are will be the right one for you. When you do that, and someone isn't interested in you, your ego may feel stung, but you'll know they were probably not right for you anyway.

If you try all that and still find yourself sad and bereft because someone didn't call you back, it may be time to talk to a therapist about what underlying issues are making you seek outside validation at the expense of your own sense of self-worth.

Good luck and be strong,

A feminist

Click here to find out more about Conventional Wisdom and here to submit a question.

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Desperately Seeking Comfort: Dating Soars as Economy Falls

CitizenSugar — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 13:30:39 -0800

Turns out nobody wants to weather a recession alone. The New York Times reports interest in off- and online dating is way, way up.

While traffic typically peaks in the new year (will not be spinster!), the rise dating sites and matchmakers are seeing can only be compared to one other year - 2001, the last recession.

Of course, numbers only go back to 1994, and online dating has become more acceptable. But even if love is not in the air, other economic factors are. Experts (um, that would be owners of dating sites and services, sociologists, and their ilk) agree these sort-of-obvious factors, which all boil down to living with less, are at play:

The under- and unemployed have more time to be online
Online dating is a relatively inexpensive way to meet people
Organized dating events are cheaper than going on a multitude of first dates
With less money to go out, people spend more time on the Internet

But there is something more substantial going on in our collective consciousness: People don't want to be alone. They also aren't as interested in money, which could be a boon for those in the market for substance over salaries.

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Barack's Big Speech: What Was It Like at Invesco Field?

CitizenSugar — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 03:00:55 -0700

What a night! While Liberty and I hashed out the finer points of Barack's speech over dinner, one thing was clear: the setting was pretty unbelievable (for reasons we'll get into soon.) Wading through the mile-long line to the Mile High Stadium, we scored front and center seats - so front and center, we were right under the Oprah, Kanye, Angela Basset, Gayle King, Forrest Whittaker suite.

Shawn Johnson leading the pledge and Jennifer Hudson singing the national anthem was just the beginning. From Sheryl Crow to Stevie Wonder, to Will.i.am and John Legend, the stage was a parade of stars before Barack even thought about taking the stage. I'm telling you, when Oprah showed up, the screams from the crowd? I thought someone had died, or worse. The weather was like bathwater, and was a perfect stage for the speeches - the real main event - that we'll get into very soon, because we sure didn't see eye-to-eye on this one. In the meantime, take a peek at who else took in the view tonight.

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To see Will.i.am and John Legend's performance of "Yes We Can," read more.

Pale and Persecuted: Albinos Hunted, Terrorized in Tanzania

CitizenSugar — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 03:00:27 -0700

Living in sub-Saharan Africa isn't an easy existence for anyone - but for albino people living in one of Earth’s hottest areas has intense challenges. Their total lack of pigmentation, which affects 1 in 3,000, is excruciating under the glaring African sun - they are predisposed to severe skin burns and often die of skin cancer before the age of 30.

Though lately, the weather is the least of their problems. Tanzanian officials claim that witch doctors are promoting the sale of albino skin, bones and hair as ingredients in spells to create prosperity. In the past year, 19 albinos including children have been killed or mutilated. Police are creating lists of albinos throughout their nation in an effort to better protect them including escorts for albino children to get to and from school. I absorb a lot of news, but this story is almost unimaginably horrific. To see how, read more.

One of the families devastated by this phenomenon was eating when four men entered their home and cut off the legs of their albino daughter and simply left with her amputated stumps. She later died.

The Commissioner said of the witch doctor’s influence into the persecution of the albino people:

These witch doctors have many strange beliefs. There was a rumor not so long ago that if you use a bald head when fishing, you’ll get rich. There was another one that said if you spread blood on the ground in a mine, you’ll find gold. These rumors come and go. The problem is, the people who follow witch doctors don’t question them.

Police say the rural areas are the most susceptible to rumors and superstitions, as they tend to be uneducated. This wave of albino killings surprised the police who have no idea why it seemed to begin so suddenly but suspect either a wave of imported Nigerian movies centering on the theme of witchcraft or rising food prices - necessitating the spells for wealth - could be the cause.

Tanzanian Albino Society, a nonprofit advocacy group that operates on less than $15,000 a year, has become increasingly vital to this population in crisis.

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Product of the Day: SpongeBob Musical Thermometer

GiggleSugar — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 08:00:00 -0800

I can't think of anything more miserable than feeling under the weather, shoving a thermometer up your rear (you know, it can go there) and then hearing: "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob! SquarePants!" That's exactly what the Musical SpongeBob Digital Thermometer does. It takes your temp and concludes with a musically-induced headache. Some may confuse this for a kiddie thermometer, but last I heard, child abuse ain't something we encourage in these parts. Click here to hear Bob the temp-taker in action.

View 2 Photos ›

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Front Page: Tornadoes Rip Midwest & South, First US Aid Lands in Myanmar, Fighting in Beirut

CitizenSugar — Mon, 12 May 2008 06:57:24 -0700

Tornadoes Rip Midwest and South: Emergency crews are searching through the aftermath of violent storms that tore from the Midwest to the South and killed at least 23 people this weekend in Missouri, Oklahoma, and Georgia. In Oklahoma at least seven people were killed and officials said 150 people in the town were injured. In Missouri emergency crews are “ensuring that we have found any potential survivors or anyone unaccounted for.” The governor says at least 85 people had been injured in the storm. In Georgia, Gov. Sonny Perdue has issued an executive order declaring a state of emergency in six counties. The weekend’s tornadoes are the latest in several outbreaks of violent weather this year. Twenty-two people were killed by tornadoes in four states in February, two were killed in Georgia in March, and seven were killed in Arkansas in May.

First US Aid Lands in Myanmar: The first US aid flight to Myanmar following last week's cyclone has finally landed in Rangoon. The US had to spend days negotiating with Myanmar's military government to gain permission to enter the country. The official death toll is now almost 30,000, though aid agencies fear 1.5 million could die without aid. Already more than two-thirds of the cyclone victims are yet to be reached, and agencies estimate that 100,000 have already died. Here's a list of ways to help the cyclone victims.
Fighting in Beirut: Violent fighting that has plagued Beirut, Lebanon, since Wednesday, broke out yesterday in the mountains east of Beirut. The fighting continues between supporters of the Western-backed government and followers of Hezbollah, the militant group backed by Iran. Hezbollah began withdrawing gunmen from the city Saturday evening, leading some to hope for peace after four days of street battles there. With the underlying political crisis still unresolved, the violence seems to have shifted to the eastern villages. Security officials put the toll of five days of fighting at 44 dead and 128 wounded.

Awaiting Results: Nevada and South Carolina

CitizenSugar — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 11:37:29 -0800

A judge throwing out the case against casino-caucusing this week, (the matter that made Bill Clinton hot under the collar) and the usual caucus-based confusion in Nevada hasn't stopped many voters from turning out. The AP is now projecting Mitt Romney is the winner of the NV Republican caucus-though the Democratic caucus is still open.

And with snowy weather expected to hamper Republican turnout in South Carolina, anything could happen. Returns from SC are expected to start trickling in around 7 p.m. EST. Check back here for results!

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The How-To Lounge: Preventing the Common Cold

DearSugar — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 10:00:00 -0800

I came back from Thanksgiving break and almost everyone in my office was complaining that they're sick. Since Winter is officially here, we all have to do everything in our power to stay healthy, so here are some general tips to prevent catching the common cold.

Click here to read more

Keep your desk at work clean and disinfect your phone on a regular basis.
Wash your hands at least seven times a day (studies show that you're four times less likely to develop a cold if you do) with antibacterial soap.
Don't share drinks or lipstick with your friends and keep a small container of hand sanitizer in your purse so you can disinfect your hands after opening doors, using ATMs, or even riding the elevator.
Stay hydrated and load up on fruits and vegetables.
Although the holidays can be a stressful time for most, try to keep it all relative as stress wreaks havoc on your immune system.
If you're already feeling under the weather, listen to your body and rest. Take hot showers and let the steam clear your nasal passages, load up on vitamin C, zinc, and water and remember that mom's chicken noodle soup really is a miracle worker!

I hope these tips help, and remember to stay bundled up out there!

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You Don't Need Permission To...

DearSugar — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 15:00:00 -0700

...cry to your mom when you're feeling under the weather.

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