TresSugar

Etiquette Past vs. Present: Cussing in Public

DearSugar — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:00:00 -0800

Emily Post pretty much set the bar for manners, and last week when I quoted one of her echoes of traditional etiquette, most of you agreed with her and like it when a man walks on the curbside.

Below is one example of what Emily calls "Today's Rudest Behaviors" in her book Etiquette. Now I must admit to being guilty of this from time to time, but I agree with Emily, it's not the most charming way to behave in public.

"Using four-letter words and other obscenities in public without any reservations - especially in the presence of children."

Do you watch your mouth amongst strangers or do you have a potty mouth like me?

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Guys and Cursing

DearSugar — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 16:00:00 -0700

I like a man who's not afraid to use the occasional expletive (at appropriate times, of course), but I think it's a major turn off if he's constantly dropping the F-bomb.

I once met a guy at a bar that I found attractive, but when we went on our first date, he was cursing left and right. I think he thought it was cool or proved his manliness, but truthfully it made him seem unintelligent and left me feeling totally uncomfortable. I mean, come on, there are many more ways to describe a movie then to constantly say "That was f***ng awesome."

I've asked you about swearing at work, but now I want to know what you think about guys you date that curse. Do they seem more attractive to you? Less attractive to you? Does a cursing guy even bother you at all or are you indifferent?

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The Swear Jar

GiggleSugar — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 10:30:00 -0700

Establishing an office swear jar is a good idea, especially when the money accumulated in the jar buys everyone beer. Sh*t, since all censoring is thrown out the f*cking window, excuse me while I go add 50 cents to the swear jar. (But can we change that to a microbrew, or, better yet, scotch?)

Do You Swear?

TresSugar — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 13:00:00 -0700

Swearing when you stub your toe might take the pain away according to a new study, but it could also make you come off as less than classy. Some people find cursing to be vulgar and "unbecoming to a lady."

I'll admit that sometimes I'll utter a "bad word," depending on who I'm with and the message I'm trying to get across (like humor or disappointment). And I do have some friends who lace even the most perfunctory sentences with profanity - but since it's part of who they are, I barely even notice!

You Asked: I'm Insensitive and Want to Change

DearSugar — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I grew up with a verbally abusive mother. She swore, screamed, and said nasty things when she was upset, and she still doesn't understand the impact that her cruel words had on my feelings. As an adult, I'm learning to accept her for who she is but unfortunately, I've also become conscious of the fact that I've inherited her out-of-control mouth; and I don't like it. I've been called "harsh" and "blunt" since I was a preteen, but only now have I realized that those terms are just euphemisms for "mean"! I've begun to catch myself making mean jokes at others' expense, swearing like a sailor, making judgments, and being rude in social situations. The worst part is that I can only seem to catch myself five seconds after the horrible words escape my mouth. I have many friends and a loving boyfriend, but I'm afraid I will drive them all away with my insensitive and harsh words. I'm a good person and I want to change, but I'm not sure I can. Is it too late? - Potty Mouth Patsy

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Potty Mouth Patsy,

Your concerns are valid and I'm glad you're willing to change your ways - admitting your wrongdoings is the first step. It sounds like you have a classic case of not thinking before speaking, but it's not too late, Patsy. First off, try to process your words before saying them out loud and see if that changes anything; I bet it will. Since re-training yourself might take a while, be sure to acknowledge your mean statements and apologize if you fear you've hurt someone's feelings. We all say stupid things every now and then, but it's important to take action and make amends if necessary.

Since you've been clearly hurt by your mother's behavior, you should consider talking to a therapist to work out how her actions affected you and why you're repeating history. You can change this behavior in yourself if you set your mind to it so be patient with yourself and use that fear of being abandoned by your loved ones as motivation. Good luck.

Who's Watching the Inauguration of Barack Obama?

CitizenSugar — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 06:00:58 -0800

Today America will introduce its 44th President! At noon, Chief Justice John Roberts will administer the oath of office to Barack Obama who will swear to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution. While 240,000 people have tickets, as many as 4 million will watch Obama become president via jumbotron, along with many more around the US.

And of course - there will be a speech! Considering the opportunity to set the tone of his administration, and the fact that so many people have come to the capitol to witness his inauguration, Obama must be feeling pressure to deliver a moving address. Regardless of the words, the marking of democracy in action and new energy in leadership will likely give Americans inspiration in these tough times.

Will you be watching? You can tune in for live video from Ustream TV and CNN. Tell me if you think Obama lives up to the high expectations!

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You Don't Need Permission To. . .

DearSugar — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 14:00:00 -0700

. . . use swear words every once in a while -
sometimes other words don't get the point across!

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George Carlin: 1937-2008

GiggleSugar — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 16:00:00 -0700

These days, most comedians swear like sailors and revel in shocking their audiences, but for standup comedy pioneers like George Carlin, who died yesterday of heart failure, swearing and shocking were not gratuitous. He wanted to shake up a hypocritical society and make people think about what "clean" language hides underneath it. (His famous "Seven Words You Can't Say on Television" routine got him arrested and went all the way to the Supreme Court, where they ruled that his language was "indecent" but not "obscene.") George Carlin will always be remembered as a comic genius. Here's a clip of George railing against euphemisms - a crank and a gadfly to the end. (Thanks, eBaum's World!)

Dear Poll: Are You a Swearer?

DearSugar — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Though I'm not a big user of profanity, I've been known to curse a time or two when something is particularly frustrating, like a frozen computer or stopped traffic on the way to the airport. While it may just be an occasional slip for me, I'm not someone who finds swearing particularly disturbing either - unlike my grandmother, who I've never even heard utter the word "damn" under her breath! But which end of the swearing spectrum do you fall on?

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Where I'm Clicking Now: Who Talks the Toughest?

CitizenSugar — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 07:00:32 -0700

These quizzes are my new favorite weekend treat. And I'm actually getting better at them! Or perhaps I'm a ringer in the category, "Snarky Things Politicians Have Sniped at Each Other 101." All I'm going to say is Barack Obama seems gentle on the outside, but I swear I kept picking McCain and I'll be darned Mr. Hope wasn't getting in there with a few choice words of his own.

Go try your luck, but I'm telling ya - I was on fire this week. Check out this score! You won't have to "follow me to the gates of hell," (eh? Remember that one?) but close!

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