TresSugar

Group Therapy: He Missed Our First Date - Does He Get Another Chance?

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 03:00:00 -0700

Last night I had tentative plans to go out with a guy I've had my eye on for months. He was supposed to call me when he was done golfing, but I never heard from him.

Today he left me a message saying he took a nap after golf and didn't wake up until it was dark outside. He apologized profusely and says he feels horrible. Do I give him a second chance? If so, what should I say in response to his message?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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This or That: Stood Up or Nightmare Blind Date?

DearSugar — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Recently you’ve been trying out some new ways to meet guys, so you've decide to let a friend set you up on a date with someone from her office. You’re nervous about going on a blind date, but your friend has assured you that it’ll be a perfect match. Regardless, the night of the date, you’re feeling pretty insecure and worried. Would if be worse if . . .

This: You wait almost an hour completely dressed, made-up, and ready to go, but he never shows? You feel completely hurt and humiliated that he didn’t even have the decency to call you.

Or. . .

That: He takes you to a great place, acts like a complete gentleman, but then proceeds to talk about himself the entire night? He's perfect on paper, but he can’t even slow down long enough to get the most basic information out of you.

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You Asked: He Hasn't Called in Over a Week

DearSugar — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 17:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I recently met a great guy (on Match.com). We spent hours talking on the phone and he finally flew out to meet me. Our first date went really well. It was awkward at first, since I was a little taller than him, but the chemistry was definitely there. I dropped him off at his hotel and he invited me up to his room. At first we talked a while and then we ended up making out, very passionately. I told him we couldn't have sex and he respected that, and I finally went back to my house.

We were supposed to meet up the next day and he said he would call. I waited all day and no phone call. Finally in the evening, he called but since I was annoyed that he didn't call earlier, I didn't pick up. He left a message saying he was sorry, that he had to meet up with some friends, and that I should call him when I had the chance. I called him a couple of hours later, but he didn't answer and I didn't leave a message. It's been over a week and I haven't heard from him. What gives? Did he not see that I called? Do you think it had something to do with the fact that I wouldn't sleep with him? By the way, he didn't pay for the lunch or the movie.

-Very Annoyed Anna

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more

Dear Very Annoyed Anna,

You may be thinking that there's a slight possibility that he didn't realize you called him back because you didn't leave a message, but if he really wanted to see you, he would have called you again, don't you think?

When first getting to know someone, it's important to be honest with each other, so you should NOT feel guilty for telling him you didn't want to have sex. Yes, if you made plans to hang out, he should have called you, but it sounds like you are playing the same game he is by ignoring his call. At the end of the day, if you think this could turn into something special, be the bigger woman and call him. Find out what he's thinking and feeling, see if he wants to pursue this relationship, and if not, at least you know where he stands once and for all. Good luck.

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Dear Poll: Have You Ever Been Stood Up?

DearSugar — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 09:00:00 -0800

What is it with my friends and dating? A girlfriend called me from a restaurant this week, hysterical, because her date stood her up! Now being a few minutes late is one thing, but since no one leaves their house without either a cell phone, BlackBerry or iPhone, there is simply no excuse for leaving someone in the lurch. Thankfully, I have never been put in that position, but I am sure my friend isn't alone here. Ladies, what I want to know is, have you ever been stood up?

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Do Tell: How Long Would You Wait for Your Date?

DearSugar — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 07:00:00 -0700

A girlfriend of mine called me last night while she was waiting for her date at the restaurant bar where they had planned to meet. This was their first "date" and she was pretty excited to spend the evening with him. When she called me, I was confused since I knew they had plans, and she went on to say that she had been waiting for him for 25 minutes. Apparently, he had texted her saying he was stuck in traffic but still, he was over 20 minutes late and she was just waiting there for him, alone!

She asked me how long she should wait before assuming she was being stood up and while I have my own opinion, ladies, do tell, how long would you wait for a late date? If he called and said he was running a few minutes behind, how long would you give him before calling it a night?

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Dear Poll: Have You Ever Stood Someone Up?

DearSugar — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 16:00:00 -0700

I asked you yesterday what would be worse: to go on a nightmare blind date or be stood up and so far, 53 percent of you felt that being stood up was far worse. I happen to agree - being rejected by someone who hasn't even given you a chance sure is a blow to your ego. But all the times I talk about the notion of standing someone up, I've asked you about being stood up, not standing someone up. So ladies, now's your chance to come clean: have you ever stood up an impending date?

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Dinner Is Over! And No Thanksgiving

Tres Community — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 06:00:00 -0800

This post was written by maude in the TrèsSugar Community group Awkward!.

A couple of years ago, I spent Thanksgiving at a friend's house. Everything was great, her mother had worked all day to make the perfect Thanksgiving dinner, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, homemade biscuits, and all the other classics. We all sat down to eat and some of my friend's siblings were arguing incessantly.

The mother who worked so hard, kept telling them to quit it and enjoy dinner that she had worked so hard on. Of course, they didn't and just kept at each other. So finally the mother (who can be very dramatic) stood up and grabbed a pitcher of water on the table and just started pouring it all over the table and the food. As she poured, she announced "dinner was over!" Every dish was basically watered down! YUCK! No one made a peep and just politely got up from the table. It was the end of Thanksgiving!

There's lots of great stuff going on in our community - join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!

I Was Stood Up By My Best Friend!

DearSugar — Tue, 15 May 2007 13:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

This past weekend I got irritated with my best friend. I am starting to date this new guy, who my friend supposedly loves for me, but whenever I ask her to go out with us, like to a club or bar, she always makes up an excuse as to why she can't go or just won't answer my calls/texts. She has a boyfriend, and I completely respect that, and I ask both of them to go, but she never ends up coming out. I have expressed how much I want her to get to know my new boyfriend, but she doesn't budge.

Another thing that irritates me is that when we do go out, it is always wherever she wants to go. I have just had enough of it and this weekend I told her that I thought what she was doing was really unfair, rude, and cruel. I told her that in a friendship, you have to give and take, something she clearly doesn't understand. So after I blew up and told her how I felt, she told me that she *supposedly* had no money which is why she can't go out and that she wasn't interested in being with me if I was going to be mean to her.

This girl has supposedly been my best friend since we were 8 (we are both 22 now), and I've realized that everything always has to be about her. When she started dating her boyfriend, I went out of my way to hang out with them so I could get to know the man who my best friend was dating, and all I am asking is her to do the same for me. Am I overreacting? What do I do?? Please help!!

-- Stood Up by my Best Friend Stephanie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear Stood Up by my Best Friend Stephanie--

Although this is your best friend, it sounds like you two aren't on the same page here about what a friendship is supposed to be. I would be upset too if my "best friend" was acting selfish and unsupportive. It's great that you wanted to tell her how you felt, but since you were so upset and "blew up," I'm sure she felt attacked and then acted defensively.

I think you need to have a girls' night out without your boyfriends. You have been best friends since you were 8 years old (aww), so you obviously have a deep history. Invite her to dinner and have a heart-to-heart chat about what's going on with her, with you, and between the two of you. If you're worried you might "blow up" again, write down your thoughts and feelings so you can express them calmly. Since it's just the two of you, she'll be able to tell you how she's feeling and give you real reasons why she won't hang out with you and your new man. You may find out something surprising behind her distance.

I had a friend in high school that was very selfish, we always had to do what she wanted to do and talk about her problems. Our one-sided friendship became too much for me; I was giving too much and not getting anything back in return, so I stopped hanging out with her. After you talk to your friend, if things don't change (because of her selfish personality), you may find that drifting apart is the best thing for you. Good luck Stephanie!

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Say What? Nancy Pelosi Knows Her Place

TresSugar — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 06:00:00 -0700

"They really don't understand how inappropriate that is. I'm in my place. I'm the Speaker of the House, the first woman Speaker of the House. And I'm in my place because the House of Representatives voted me there. But that language is something I haven't even heard in decades."

- Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi stood up for herself yesterday, after the National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC) said General Stanley McChrystal should "put her in her place" for her views about the war in Afghanistan.

The NRCC subsequently responded to Pelosi's dismissal of its loaded language saying: "She's playing out of her league and she knows it." (Um, wow.) Hopefully the NRCC can go back to disagreeing with the substance of Nancy Pelosi's opinions, instead of criticizing her for having them in the first place.

Has Your Boyfriend Ever Stood Up For You?

DearSugar — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 11:00:00 -0800

I didn't think Spencer had it in him to swallow his pride, admit his wrongdoings, and put someone else first. But last night on The Hills, he proved me wrong! Though he didn't get very far in trying to get Heidi her job back, I was glad to see him go to her rescue.

I'm not an advocate of confrontation, but I think it'd be pretty hot to have a boyfriend stand up for me, whatever the situation. Has a boyfriend ever come to your aid when you needed rescuing?

Photo courtesy of MTV