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Dear Poll: Are You Spontaneous?

DearSugar — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 12:00:00 -0700

I've always felt that you are either spontaneous or you're not. I'm not! I'm a planner through and through so while jumping in the car or getting on an airplane at a moment's notice sounds exhilarating, that kind of spontaneity would just be way too overwhelming for me. But what about you? Are you the spontaneous type?

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Do Tell: What's the Most Spontaneous Thing You've Ever Done?

DearSugar — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 07:00:00 -0700

Are you the type of person that doesn't have to think twice before jetting off to Las Vegas on a whim or before taking an impromptu road trip with your boyfriend? I certainly am not! I'm a total planner but have always been envious of those who fly by the seats of their pants, so ladies, do tell, what's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?

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Spontaneous Orgasms? Sign Me Up

DearSugar — Fri, 16 May 2008 10:00:05 -0700

Typically, women's orgasms require clitoral or vaginal stimulation, or a creative combination of the two. However, some lucky ladies don't need to involve their pelvic regions whatsoever to have a mind-blowing orgasm. A head massage, some gentle kissing on the neck, or even thinking about sex can send some women into a glorious oh-explosion! It's called an extragenital orgasm, or spontaneous orgasm, wherein a woman can climax without any genital contact. She still feels the pleasurable muscular contractions in her nether regions but doesn't need to be touched there in order for it to happen.

Some women have this type of orgasm when they are touched on a sensitive part of their bodies, such as the breasts or inner thighs. It can also happen during certain types of exercise, like sit ups or backbends, where a woman uses muscles below her waist. A spontaneous orgasm can also happen after a woman has already had a traditional orgasm; it's like an extra piece of chocolate after an ice cream sundae. Although nocturnal orgasms are in a category all their own, they're still a form of a spontaneous orgasm, since they involve the brain and don't necessary involve genital contact.

So what do you think about spontaneous orgasms? It does sound pretty amazing, but it could also get you in trouble. Have any of you ladies have ever experienced this effortless sensation?

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Bringing Spontaneity Into Your Relationship

DearSugar — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Spontaneity is essential in keeping the fire alive and without it, a relationship can get to be unbearably twiddle-your-thumbs boring. Even if you're not the impulsive type, you can still bring a little spontaneity into the mix - it just may be something you have to work a little harder at. Here are some ideas to get you going.

On a regular morning, while your lover is taking a shower before work, why not slip into the shower with him? You don't have to engage in a 3-hour lovemaking session that you clearly don't have time for, but a little naked intimacy is a sure way to feel close and connected.
Leave him a sexy note. Put it somewhere he won't suspect, like on the dashboard of his car, hidden inside his closed laptop, or in his coat pocket. List all the things you love about him and give him something to look forward to when he gets home!

Need some more ideas? Then read more.

Plan a weekend away at a hotel or BB. It doesn't have to be far away, or even at some exotic drop-dead gorgeous beach or mountainside, it can be right in your own town. Pack a suitcase for the both of you, pick him up from work, and blindfold him to add to the anticipation. A new place is always exciting, and the time away can clear your minds so that the two of you can focus on having fun together and deepening your relationship.
Schedule a date to do something crazy you've both never tried before. Take water-skiing lessons, go surfing, take a helicopter ride, or go horseback riding. Sharing new experiences with someone you love is a sure way to bring you closer together.

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This or That: The Planned or Spontaneous Proposal?

DearSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Ever since you met your boyfriend, you’ve had quite a few fantasies about your potential future proposal. And although some of your daydreams have been over the top, you consider yourself a down-to-earth girl who would be happy with any kind of proposal. Except, now that the moment’s arrived, you realize you would have liked things to happen a little differently. Would it be worse if . . .

This: He really went all out in terms of planning, except it's on the big screen at a sporting event - his favorite of course - that you happen to hate? You’re not sure if he was thinking more about you or his beloved team.

Or . . .

That: He goes the spontaneous route when, after an amazing bedroom session, he throws off the covers and gets down on one knee totally nude and pops the question? Ok, you know he loves you, but is this just lust talking?

Which is worse?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Do You Think You Could Have a Last-Minute Wedding?

TresSugar — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:50:18 -0700

It's only the third season of Gossip Girl and we're seeing Lily wed for the second time - nevermind her countless marriages before the show! When the last-minute wedding fails to materialize, Lily and Rufus make another snap decision to get married that night in the Humphreys' Brooklyn loft with Sonic Youth as the wedding band (weird!).

I like the idea of a spontaneous wedding, especially when you've had an on-off relationship for 20 years, but I'm not sure I could actually go through with it. Do you think you could tie the knot on the spot without worrying about loose strings?

For more Gossip Girl coverage, check out Buzz's recap, CelebStyle's fashion breakdowns, and the quizzes on Bella, Fab, and Geek.

Friday Feel Good: Amma the Hugging Saint Goes to NYC

TresSugar — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:30:00 -0700

Would you wait in line for a hug? Jaded New Yorkers did from Tuesday through yesterday - just to get an embrace from an Indian woman dubbed the Hugging Saint. (She probably hugged 20,000 New Yorkers by the end of it all.) Amma Amritanandamayi, 54, has been dispensing hugs for about 30 years in her travels around the world, and it's estimated that the "Hugging Saint" has given around 27 million hugs.

What's so special about her hugs? One person says it's not an ordinary hug. Another says it helps clear her mind. "Everyone comes to her," says a 38-year-old acupuncturist, "because they're in some kind of pain - cancer, love, family, kids. They want something from her. Sometimes they get it, sometimes they don't."

Although Amma says she's not a faith healer, one couple says it was only after Amma hugged them that they were finally able to conceive. Amma, who began spontaneously hugging people around the age of 8 or 9, told the Daily News through a translator, "The purest form of love can change people and that's what I'm trying to do." (The video above shows Amma embracing New Yorkers last year during her visit.)

Ask a Pastry Chef: I Lost My Libido!

TresSugar — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. Today, a professional pastry chef will offer her common sense advice. You can submit questions here.

Today's Question:

Dear Pastry Chef,

Recently, I started a new job. After being unemployed almost eight months, this is definitely a major relief. However, I am in the transitioning phase where I am learning a bunch of new things and work is really consuming a lot of my time. At night, I am so exhausted. My desire to have sex is just not there. I want to do it and I hate having to turn my man down or go along with it just because I feel bad. I know many women have libido issues. How can I overcome this? Is this something that I just have to deal with?

Thank you,
Longing For My Lost Libido

To see the Pastry Chef's answer, read more.

Dear Longing For My Lost Libido,

All I have to say is "tell me about it!" As someone who works in a career that equates to manual labor, I definitely know how you feel. After a long day of lifting heavy mixing bowls and running around the kitchen nonstop, it can be challenging to find that second wind when you leave the job. Maybe nighttime isn't the best time for you to "get busy." You might be more energized and pumped up in the morning or after a good workout.

First, I would try talking to your partner - especially since you don't want him thinking it's him turning you off! Then I would try being intimate at different times of the day, other than bedtime. I always feel it's a little more exciting and spontaneous when it's not bedtime. And aren't spontaneity and excitement two keys to a healthy relationship - physical or emotional?

Either way, don't stress it so much. If you're feeling it, go for it; if not, don't ever let anyone force you into it.

Congrats on the new job!

A Pastry Chef

Do You Like Surprises?

TresSugar — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Last year, a friend and I planned on making a surprise trip to New York City to visit one of our best friends. We got super excited planning the trip, searching for tickets, and imagining the look on our friend's face when we arrived on her doorstep grinning ear to ear.

That is, until my friend's boyfriend asked us if we were out of our minds. "Think about it," he said. "Maybe she'll have other plans your visit will force her to cancel, maybe her apartment is messy, it's not a good time for her. . .or what if she just doesn't like surprises?"

He harshed our mellow, but I did think about it. I don't like unexpected guests, and as much as I like to think I'm fun - I'm actually not all that spontaneous unless I'm initiating a plan. Are you someone who appreciates surprise birthday parties, friends showing up on your doorstep unannounced, or surprises in general?

Do Tell: What's the Most Interesting Wedding You've Been To?

TresSugar — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 07:00:00 -0700

It's Wedding Planning Mania time on the Sugar network, and as brides-to-be surely know - it may be one of the most stressful times they may ever experience. From planning the guest list, to deciding the registry, to choosing a location for the big day - it's almost understandable that some women go into Bridezilla mode.

But for some daredevils (or financially strapped and/or free spirits), there's a way of getting married - short of hightailing it to Vegas without telling anyone - that can turn the day into a near-spontaneous and yet memorable and poetic event. Want to hear about one such wedding I attended? Now read more.

Years ago in New York, a boyfriend's coworker invited us to his wedding. He told us it would be simple, short and sweet. Not expecting much, I was nevertheless, floored by how lovely the ceremony was. To this day, after attending many weddings, I cite it as one of the most magical I've attended.

The venue? Sleepy Hollow, a village in Westchester County, New York on the eastern bank of the Hudson River, only thirty miles north of midtown Manhattan. (Take a peek at it in the picture above.) The wedding took place late afternoon, and as soon as we got off the train, I knew this was going to be special.

As we walked toward the woodsy locale (it inspired Washington Irving's The Legend of Sleepy Hollow), strains of a solo violin could be heard. Soon after, the bride and groom (both struggling theater actors) read carefully selected poems to each other while we all tried not to choke up. Sunlight was still visible through dappled leaves.

After the ceremony was over, there were delicious passed hors d'oeuvres, champagne toasts, and, of course, wedding cake. As it began to get dark, we all said our goodbyes as the forest cooled in the night air. Simple and beautiful. I remember it like it was yesterday.

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