TresSugar

What's Your Wedding Season Status?

Tara Block — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 02:00:48 PDT

Wedding season 2011 is already around the corner! Every year my wedding involvement differs, and while most years I'm attending girlfriends' bridal showers and bachelorette parties, this year I have a new role: bride! Whether you're attending weddings this year as a guest, making the walk down the aisle yourself, or planning showers as the MOH, how are you partaking in wedding season festivities this year?

Gifts For Her: PopSugar’s Holiday Gift Guide!

PopSugarTV — Fri, 26 Nov 2010 02:15:00 PST

Finding the perfect gift for loved ones can be tough during the holidays, so our PopSugar editors picked out a few of their favorite gift ideas for the lucky ladies in your life. Splurge on Fendi’s must-have bag of the season for a girlfriend or grab La Mer’s wrap watches for a fashionable friend. For more picks that won’t break the bank, check out our video, and don’t forget to watch the other guides in our series like gifts for men, homemade gifts, and the best stocking stuffers this season.

Having a Sister Improves Mental Health

FitSugar — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 03:00:07 PDT

You may have spent your youth squabbling over everything from Barbies to boys, but according to new research, having a sister could be good for your mental health. A new study from Brigham Young University shows that positive sibling relationships - particularly sisters - have lasting positive effects on mental health and can even help fend off depression. The close bonds encourage traits like kindness and generosity, shaping a positive future. And their findings seem to span all sets of siblings, no matter the age gap.

The research team followed 400 Seattle families who had two or more children, with at least one child between the ages of 10 and 14. They found that having a sister was more beneficial than having a brother because sisters prevented their siblings "from feeling lonely, unloved, guilty, self-conscious and fearful." And one researcher on the study says that this is more pronounced in females than males because girls tend to take on the role of a caregiver and communicate more openly, and because relationships between sisters tend to be more mutual.

The study also showed that parents' actions impact their children less than siblings' actions, and that siblings have twice as much power to reinforce positive behavior than parents do. Unfortunately, this means that hostile sibling relationships can promote negative behavior, and siblings who fight often are more likely to experience aggression in other relationships. Do you feel like this research rings true in your sibling relationships?

10 Gift Ideas For Your Sister - For All Budgets

BellaSugar — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:04:02 PST

Your sister's gift is one of the most fun to shop for, and if you buy her a gift that's beauty-related, you can give the gift of girly pampering. Shopping for your sister is great because you can give her something fun, and if you're close, you'll know her taste well. To get you cogitating about the sisters on your list (whether related by blood or bonds of friendship), I've put together 10 pretty gifts designed to please women of all tastes without leaving your wallet full of nothing but regret and tumbleweeds. So click through and get giving!

You Asked: Is He Off Limits?

DearSugar — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 11:44:48 PDT

Dear Sugar,

My sister and her ex boyfriend broke up over five years ago and since then, he and I have remained friends. Once or twice he has alluded to liking me, but nothing ever happened between us. The subject has come up again, and he asked me to dinner tomorrow night. I adore him as a friend and could see that friendship growing into something more, so should I say something to my sister or just wait to see what comes of this date? - Going on a Date Deborah

To see DearSugar's answer

Dear Going on a Date Deborah,

Without knowing any of the details about your sister's breakup or where she is in her life now, I would advise you to be honest with her about your feelings for this guy. Even if things are up in the air, I'm sure she'd appreciate your candor - wouldn't you want her to be forthright if the roles were reversed?

You don't have to go into too much detail, especially since nothing has happened yet, but the more honest you are, the easier this situation will be for everyone involved. Good luck; I hope she takes the news well.

Source

You Asked: Can I Still Have a Relationship With Them?

DearSugar — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 12:00:00 PST

Dear Sugar,

When I was younger, around 14 or so, I got along great with my sister, who is 18 years my senior. She was my role model and we always had so much fun together. After I graduated from college and moved back home, my sister employed me as her babysitter. She became increasingly lazy and had me do things for her simply because she had a zit on her face or was just too lazy to do it herself. More and more I began to resent her because she rarely showed true appreciation for the things I did for her. With the help of my boyfriend and friends, I started to see that she was simply using me and not even treating me like a sister anymore, but almost like a slave. She paid me horrible wages and became a person I didn't want to be around.

I finally stood up to her - a huge shock to me and a very proud day. She was disrespecting our mother and I told her I had finally had enough of her trash-talking our family, not appreciating me, and taking me for granted. That was two months ago. She has a 16-year-old daughter and a 4-year-old autistic son. I love them very much and it pains me to not be able to see them. However, I recently contacted my niece and snuck over to her house while my sister was gone so I could spend time with them. I miss her family terribly and the sister I once knew, so my question is, do I contact her and further explain why I finally stood up for myself? Or do I wait for her to come to me? I just can't decide what to do since I feel as though I'm owed an apology. Also, how can I go about having a relationship with my niece and nephew who I love very much? I am past the point of truly forgiving my sister, but this tension is having an incredibly negative impact on my life. Please help! - Taken Advantage of Tina

To see DearSugar's answer,

Dear Taken Advantage of Tina,

Let me first say I commend you for standing up to your sister. I know that took a lot of courage to do what you did so you should be very proud of yourself! If forgiving your sister is not in the cards for you right now, that's your decision, but in order to keep the peace in your family and in order to maintain a relationship with your niece and nephew, you're going to have to learn to tolerate her. You don't need to be best friends again, but you'll have to be civil, and hopefully she'll follow suit. I also advise you to stop sneaking around behind her back. I understand you want to see her kids, but your sister is bound to feel violated and angry if she were to find out that she was lied to.

While I agree that she owes you an apology for treating you the way she did, chances are you won't be getting one anytime soon. Your sister sounds very self-righteous, so instead of letting her childish behavior get the best of you, be the bigger person and go to her. I know it's frustrating to have to be the older sister in the situation, but if it means easing the friction between you two and having a relationship with her kids, it'll be worth it. It's pretty clear that you two need to have a sisterly heart to heart, so after talking everything out, I hope you can work towards strengthening your relationship again. Good luck to you.

Source

Sunday Confessional: I've Been a Selfish Sister

DearSugar — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 09:00:00 PDT

I'm 28 and the youngest of three children. My siblings and I had a challenging childhood; our dad disappeared from our lives when we were little, and our mother suffered from severe depression. My sister, the eldest, took on the responsibilities of taking care of my brother and me, even though she was only a few years older than us. As early as middle school I started to rebel, and I ended up getting into drugs and a series of abusive relationships later on.

In the process I also managed to completely alienate my sister. She was always there to help me, and I was always pushing her away. Some years ago, I did the unthinkable and hooked up with her boyfriend at the time - a man she was very in love with. She was destroyed, but she said that she knew it wasn't me. She told me she'd let it go if I checked into rehab, which she offered to pay for. After much begging, I agreed to go. But within a few weeks I left, and ended up costing my sister thousands of dollars. By that point she'd finally hit her limit, and told me she wanted me out of her life.

It's been five years and we haven't spoken, though I'm still in touch with my brother. I've cleaned up my life significantly, and I have a stable job for the first time in my life. My sister recently had her first baby, and I'm desperate to see them. But when I told my brother I was going to reach out to her, he told me not to because he doesn't think she'll be willing to see me. I know I've done some bad things, and I know I'm still imperfect, but don't you think my own sister should be able to forgive me?

Source

DearSugar Needs Your Help: My Sisters Are Unsupportive

DearSugar — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 09:00:00 PDT

DearSugar and Feeling Alone Faith need your help. She's planning her dream wedding, and her sisters are too jealous to support her. She's feeling terribly alone during this happy time in her life and doesn't know how to make things better. Do you have any tips for her?
Dear Sugar,

I'm having a destination wedding soon, and while I'm extremely excited, I'm also upset and let down. To make a long story short, I have two very jealous, very self-centered sisters. My one sister thinks that the sun rises and falls with her, and she is a self-proclaimed "princess." My other sister is jealous too and I've never trusted her.

I helped both of my sisters immensely during their wedding planning, but now that it's my turn, they can't be bothered. They've even decided not to come. Instead of supporting me, all they do is sit around and talk badly about me. Sometimes my mother calls and tells me the hurtful things they are saying and it breaks my heart. For the first time in my life I'm in a good relationship and am incredibly happy, but they are too begrudging to be a part of it. I am a single mom who has struggled my entire life up until meeting my fiance, and it seems like the better I do personally, the less family support I have.

I don't want their behavior to overshadow my special day, so how do I deal with my sisters who feel too threatened to come to my wedding? And, what type of relationship should I expect to have with them after the wedding? My friends say I should be happy they are not coming, but they are my family and I'm incredibly hurt. - Feeling Alone Faith

Source

Sunday Confessional: I Hurt My Sister Out of Jealousy

DearSugar — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 09:00:00 PDT

My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for just under three years now. It's been a difficult process to say the very least. The worst of it came about nine months ago when I had a miscarriage at 14 weeks. I was so happy to be pregnant that the miscarriage was absolutely devastating. For weeks afterwards I was depressed and felt hopeless.

During this time, my sister, who is a couple of years younger than me, broke the news that she was pregnant. The father of the baby had basically told her that he wanted nothing to do with the baby. She told me in a very gentle and respectful way, and initially, I tried not to get upset, but when she started to tell me how she was scared about having a baby and being a mother, I completely lost it. I turned on her, called her horrible names, said she would make a bad mother, and basically went out of my way to hurt her. She left my house in tears.

Even though I knew I was being stubborn, I didn't make any efforts to apologize to her. Although it devastated my parents, I refused to speak to my sister or have anything to do with her unborn child. It took months of personal healing to realize that her pregnancy wasn't any kind of personal attack on me. I realized how selfish I had been and unkind. About a week ago, I tried to reach out to her and apologize - she's in her eighth month now - and she basically slammed the door in my face. Now, I don't know what to do. Should I be forgiven for my terrible behavior?

Source

BellaSugar's Gift Guide: Your Sassy Sister

BellaSugar — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 11:00:08 PST

Whether you and your sister like the same things or are polar opposites, isn't it fun shopping for someone in your family that you can closely relate to? My older sister isn't even in the same generation as me, but she's pretty savvy when it comes to beauty products. So my challenge this year is to find her something new and exciting that she hasn't already grown tired of. Here are a few fabulous beauty items that you can use to surprise your sister.