TresSugar

Name That Sex Position

DearSugar — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 07:30:00 -0800

Many women complain that intercourse alone doesn't help them climax, but maybe they just need to try out some new sex positions! Take this fun quiz and see how much you know about these different positions. WARNING: Images NSFW!

Question 1 of 10

Let's start with something basic. What's the name of this common sex position where the man lies on top?

Dear Poll: Which Sex Position Would You Choose For a Lifetime?

DearSugar — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 15:00:00 -0800

Doggie style was your favorite sexual position of 2008, but only by a few votes - missionary and girl on top were close contenders - but I wonder how your votes would change if you had to pick one position to make love in for the rest of your days. It's a tough decision, I know, so think long and hard before you seal your fate!

Source

Love It or Leave It: Iceberg Love Bumper

DearSugar — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 13:30:00 -0800

If you're adventurous in the bedroom, I'm sure you have no hesitation when it comes trying every sexual position, toy, or personal lubricant out there. Experimenting under the sheets can lead to mind-blowing orgasms, so if you have the attitude that you'll try anything once, check out the Iceberg Love Bumper ($85). You place it under your bum and it's supposed to help you achieve the perfect angle. PS: The cover unzips so it can be thrown in the wash.

Is this something you'd splurge on if it helped make your intimate times more pleasurable? Or is this just too seedy for your taste?

Tips For Being on the Bottom

DearSugar — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:00:00 -0700

So I've given you some tips for being on the top, but good old missionary position (guy on top) is also a fan favorite! The guy being on top can give a man a real sense of control and dominance, which can be very arousing to a woman, but since you're not doing much of the moving around, here are some tips to make being on the bottom more exciting.

Place a pillow under your bum. It'll help to tilt your pelvis, making it easier for your man to stimulate you. Lifting your pelvis up also helps to naturally engage your Kegel muscles, which will make sex more pleasurable for both of you.
Try actively squeezing your Kegel muscles to intensify the sensations even more. Either hold them and then release, or practice rhythmically contracting and releasing.

Click here to read more.

Try adjusting the position of your legs to change where you feel the sensations. They can be straight on the bed; bent at the knees with your feet close to your bum; or lifted with your legs up and your feet on your man’s chest or over his shoulders. You can also try one leg up and one leg down.
Since your man is on top and doing most of the moving, make sure you're communicating your needs as well.

Source

Tips For Being on Top

DearSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 08:00:00 -0700

When it comes to sex, there are many fun positions to try out, but if you like to be more intimate, you'll probably prefer being face-to-face. If the woman is on top, the beautiful thing is that she's the one in control, so check out these tips on how to make it even more exciting.

Since you're the one doing most of the moving, try varying your speed.
Don't just move up and down; try moving your hips in circles for a different sensation.

Want to know what else you can do on top? Then read more

If your man is quick to orgasm, tease him by moving slowly. Not only will this keep him from getting too excited too quickly, but it'll also be pleasurable for you.
Try different positions - it's fun to mix things up!
If you need clitoral stimulation, sit up and lean back so he can use his hands to pleasure you.
If you want your torsos touching, try using a vibrating ring - they're small yet powerful.

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What's Your Favorite Sex Position?

DearSugar — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 08:00:00 -0700

The older I get the more comfortable I am with experimenting in the bedroom. New positions always add some excitement to the relationship, and unless they require an absurd amount of strength or pretzel-like flexibility, I'll give it a-go.

Interesting positions are fun to try as far as foreplay goes, but when it comes down to having an orgasm, I'm a fan of the more traditional ones. How about you? What's your favorite sex position?

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Slow-Sex Movement Guru: On Orgasms and Sex Positivity

TresSugar — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 11:00:00 -0700

"I’ve never actually met a woman who wasn’t orgasmic. I’ve met women who’ve put themselves against a cultural idea, but we orgasm differently from the model that we’re told orgasm is."

This is the last post in a four-part series of interviews I had with Nicole Daedone, who is emerging as the leader of the slow-sex movement, and who founded the OneTaste urban retreat center in San Francisco. OneTaste invites men and women to learn about mindful sexuality by participating in workshops, yoga, and (for residents only) controversial "OMing" sessions in which men stroke women to orgasm during daily morning sessions. To read the fourth part of the interview with Nicole, read more.

TrèsSugar: Do you think that so-called “sex positivity” has helped women? There are a lot of women who have grown up around the idea that sexual desire isn’t something shameful, but rather something to explore and have fun with. Has it brought its own problems?
Nicole Daedone: I think that it’s like yoga; you’re constantly making microadjustments. I think that we went too far this way, into heedlessness, and that’s not any fun either. We’ve opened a field of sexuality and so the next question is, “What do we do with it?” Just open is a mess, but open and directed is power.

TS: You have a book coming out, but what’s your fantasy about where all this is going?
ND: My vision of how it’s going to go is that there will be a slow-sex movement and it will be women who carry it. It will be twofold: top down with a lot of information coming in from the media, but it will also be grassroots where the message will be transmitted from one person to the next.

TS: What do you think about the fact that there are many women who still - alone or with a partner - have never had an orgasm?
ND: It’s heartbreaking. It shows how far away from our own bodies we have to be to feel that way. I’ve met a lot of women who say they’ve never had an orgasm.
TS: Or they fake it! I think that some women feel that there’s a right way to have an orgasm: it’s supposed to look like this, sound like that, feel exactly like this …
ND: But - I’ve never actually met a woman who wasn’t orgasmic. I’ve met women who’ve put themselves against a cultural idea, but we orgasm differently from the model that we’re told orgasm is. So yeah, you know what? I don’t do "that" either.

Thanks, Nicole! (To see all of TrèsSugar's coverage of the slow-sex movement and Nicole Daedone's interviews, click here.)

What Was Your Favorite Sexual Position in 2008?

DearSugar — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 15:00:00 -0800

Since most of you are coupled up, figuring out how to keep the fire burning is essential for a happy, long-lasting relationship. I know many people that make it a point to experiment in the bedroom to avoid a sex slump - a win-win if you ask me! - but even if you mix things up, I'll bet you still have a favorite position. So tell me . . .

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Hump Day: How Can I Become Multi-Orgasmic?

TresSugar — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 04:00:00 -0800

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

"I keep hearing about women who can have 'multiple orgasms' and I can't figure out exactly what this means. Does it mean a woman who can have more than one orgasm in a night? One orgasm after another with little downtime? (Is that even possible? Most women are so sensitive after having an orgasm!) Anyway, if it exists, is there a way I can become multi-orgasmic?" To hear Dr. Glickman's response, read more

Part of the challenge in defining “multiple orgasms” is that different people use the term to mean different things. For some women, it means more than one orgasm during a single sex session, whether they’re 5 minutes or 30 minutes (or more) apart. For other women, it means one after another, without much time between them.

You’re right that many women are extra sensitive after an orgasm, but not everyone. In fact, some women find that they can just keep going, especially if they change what they’re doing. For example, someone might find that she can have an orgasm from clitoral stimulation and then switch to penetration for a second one. Or maybe she might have one orgasm from oral sex, take a break for a bit with something else to keep the passion up, and then go back to oral sex for a second orgasm. And there are women out there who don’t need a break after one orgasm before they start building towards a second one.

Not all women can become multi-orgasmic, but many women can. Some women find that their ability to be multi-orgasmic can change over time, too. So if it doesn’t happen for you now, don’t stress about it. You may find that in a few years, something changes and suddenly, it falls into place.

One really great place to look for more info on how to do it is Mantak Chia’s book The Multi-Orgasmic Woman. He approaches sex from the Taoist tradition, which works with sexuality as a form of energy that we can learn to channel, harness, and expand. If you’re familiar with energetic practices such as yoga, this perspective might be familiar. He has a book for men and one for male/female couples, too.

Another place you could look for information about this is Tantra. While most people only know about Tantra as a laundry list of sex positions from the Kama Sutra, there’s actually a lot more to it than that. Tantra is a set of practices that teach you to work with your sexual energy and it can help you expand your ability to experience pleasure, deepen intimacy, and have multiple orgasms. There are some good books like Urban Tantra and Tantric Sex for Women, as well as some DVDs.

In my experience, the best way to learn about Tantra is through experiential workshops because these are techniques that are much easier to understand when someone is demonstrating them. Most Tantra classes are fully-clothed and many are designed for people to come solo, while others are for couples. You can find out more about Tantra or look for workshop teachers on www.tantra.com.

One thing that I do want to be clear on: not everyone can become multi-orgasmic. If it doesn’t happen for you, there’s nothing wrong with you. I’ve seen a lot of people become very goal-oriented about it and they often end up sabotaging themselves because they’re not actually enjoying the sex that they’re having. So I encourage you to try it out and see what works for you, but don’t get so caught up in it that you forget to have fun. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Bro vs. Douchebag: Is There a Difference?

TresSugar — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 06:00:00 -0800

Listening to Phish. Wearing popped collars. Playing ultimate Frisbee. Flaunting the number of chicks bagged.

Are these the traits of a bro or a douche? Is there a difference? While pondering this question, you might want to pop over to BroBible.com, a "brocial" networking site created by 24-year-old Doug Banker, a hesitantly self-identified "bro" who wants to redeem bro culture from being demonized as douche culture. (Sample post: "What's More Bro: Oral or Anal Sex?")

Last year when the site was still under construction, he had this to say about the distinction: "[A] bro is just someone who likes to go out and have a good time, who likes to stay connected to their group of friends while expanding their horizons. It’s not one of our goals to make the word ‘bro’ more positive. But yes, hopefully, that will happen."

So is there a difference between a bro and a douchebag? Does it matter? Do you wish those words would go away? Inquiring minds want to know!