TresSugar

Sex Myth: You Can't Get Pregnant If You're Nursing

DearSugar — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:00:00 -0700

I really get a kick out of the pregnancy myths floating around, like you can't get pregnant if you pee after sex, two condoms are better than one, and, of course, that you can't get pregnant while breastfeeding. A good friend of mine actually had to learn this one the hard way - she got pregnant while nursing her 10-month old son!

Using breastfeeding as contraception is known as lactational amenorrhea method (LAM), but since it's not 100 percent effective, you shouldn't rely on it unless you don't mind getting pregnant soon after giving birth. According to the World Health Organization, LAM is 98.8 to 99.1 percent effective while breastfeeding for the first six months, but you can conceive without knowing that you're menstrual cycle has returned to normal since you ovulate about two weeks before your period.

If you're not interested in becoming a mother again so soon, your best bet is to talk to your ob/gyn about an effective and safe form of birth control that you can use while breastfeeding.

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Sex Myth: You're More Fertile After a Miscarriage

DearSugar — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 09:00:00 -0700

If you're trying to have a baby, you may have heard that after enduring a miscarriage, your body is more fertile. Unfortunately, according to a recent article in The New York Times this is just a rumor. While it's true that your progesterone levels (the hormone that helps with pregnancy) are elevated, there's no evidence to support the notion that it can help you conceive any faster. What's more important is that you get back to your regular menstrual cycle, because as soon as you're ovulating again, you can try to get pregnant.

Miscarriages aren't the most pleasant topic, but it's important to know that they're actually fairly common, occurring in 30 to 50 percent of pregnancies. The reason we think they're uncommon is because most miscarriages occur early on, so early in fact that the woman doesn't even realize she's had one. The good news is that when a woman does get pregnant again, she only has a 2.25 percent chance of miscarrying again. The odds of a third miscarriage are less than one percent.

Keep in mind that starting a family can take some time. As the article notes:

Another study in The New England Journal of Medicine followed a large sample of healthy women seeking to conceive and found that of those who miscarried, 95 percent became pregnant within two years.

So if a little one is on your mind, try to be patient and have fun making it happen.

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Sex Myth: Tighter Means Better

DearSugar — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:00:00 -0800

If you or your partner have ever thought that wearing condoms that fit tightly will prevent pregnancy better; that it'll stop sperm from getting out, you're wrong. This is a huge misconception, and could actually cause an unwanted pregnancy. You see if the condom is too tight, the friction of having sex could actually break the material.

Polyurethane and latex condoms are already 85 percent effective at preventing pregnancy, so if used correctly, you can't make them any more effective (unless you use them with another form of birth control such as the NuvaRing).

It's also important to remember that when a guy puts on a condom, he needs to leave a little space at the tip so when he ejaculates, there's room for the semen inside the condom. If it's is pulled on too tightly, it could get overstretched and cause the condom to break, or sperm could overflow out the top. Be sure to follow the directions on the box when using condoms, and make sure the guy always wears the correct size.

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Sex Myth: Peeing After Sex Prevents Pregnancy

DearSugar — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 08:00:00 -0800

While it's a good idea to visit the powder room after you have sex to prevent a UTI, I'm sorry to burst your bubble but it can't prevent you from becoming pregnant. For a short anatomy lesson here, the hole you pee out of is connected to your urethra and the hole that you have sex with leads to your uterus. As my junior high gym/sex ed teacher told me and my fellow terrified classmates, "They're two separate holes!" Peeing after sex may help to flush out bacteria from your urethra, but it doesn't do anything to flush out semen that has been ejaculated inside you.

Dear's Advice: Definitely pee before and after sex to prevent a UTI, but when it comes to preventing an unplanned pregnancy, use a reliable form of birth control.

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Sex Myth: Day 14

DearSugar — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 11:00:00 -0800

If you are not on hormonal birth control such as the NuvaRing or the Pill, it's generally believed that all women ovulate on day 14 of their menstrual cycle. So if you got your period on the first of the month, you would ovulate 14 days later, on day 15. This rule is not necessarily correct for all women, and is based on the assumption that a woman's body follows a perfect 28-day cycle. We know this is not true for all women, and since ovulation can be delayed due to many reasons, including stress, this myth of Day 14 can cause many unwanted pregnancies.

How do you know when you're ovulating? To find out read more.

When an egg is released from your ovary, you'll notice a change in your cervical mucus. It will be very wet and have a clear, egg-white look and consistency. Your body creates this so sperm can swim easier and reach your precious egg. You may also notice mild cramping, breast tenderness, bloating, and an increased sex drive. Here's another cool thing - if you take your temperature every morning as soon as you wake up, you'll see a slight increase in temperature when you ovulate. Your cervix also changes position. It rises and softens when you're ovulating, due to the increase of estrogen in your body.

Since your cycle can be shorter or longer than 28 days, you can ovulate anywhere from day 10 to 18 of your cycle. You should also know that the day you ovulate is not the only day you can get pregnant. Since sperm can live up to five days inside you, you're actually fertile for about 11 days of your cycle.

Dear's advice: If you're trying to avoid getting pregnant, use a consistent and effective form of birth control and don't follow the Day 14 rule.

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Sex Myth: Two Condoms Are Better Than One

DearSugar — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 09:00:00 -0800

Nobody wants to have an unexpected pregnancy. We do all we can not to get pregnant, and some of us even come up with ideas of our own to prevent becoming a premature mom.

I'll never forget when my best friend from high school lost her virginity (she was the first one in our circle of friends). She said that she wanted to be extra sure not to get pregnant, so she made her boyfriend wear two condoms instead of one. Bad idea! While it's true that condoms are 85 percent effective at preventing pregnancy, double bagging (as it's sometimes called) does not make condoms more effective. In fact, wearing two condoms causes tension and friction, so tearing is more likely to happen. Plus, two condoms can be bunchy, which will cause it to not fit properly. If the condom doesn't fit right, it's more likely to slip off, and semen can potentially get inside the vagina causing pregnancy.

Dear's Advice: Stick to using one condom, the right way. If you hate condoms, use another effective form of birth control to make sure you stay pregnant free.

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Sex Myth: If the Woman Is on Top, She Can't Get Pregnant

DearSugar — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 11:00:00 -0800

I just recently saw that hilarious movie Knocked Up, and I wanted to set something straight. When the guys were talking, one of them said something about how everyone knows that a girl can't get pregnant if she's on top while having sex. According to his belief, gravity makes sure the sperm doesn't get to the egg.

Ladies, listen up, if you didn't already know this, he is completely incorrect. Anytime a man ejaculates inside a woman, the semen goes into her vagina and those sperm use all their might and determination to swim upstream. If even just one of them gets to your egg to fertilize it, boom - you're pregnant regardless of what position you have sex in. Unprotected sex can equal unplanned pregnancy.

If you're not ready to be a mom, use a consistent and effective form of birth control (the Pull and Pray Method is not a good option). Using condoms, an IUD, or hormonal birth control such as the pill or NuvaRing are great options. Find what works for you and stick with it.

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Fact or Fiction: Can You Spot the Sex Myths?

TresSugar — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:00:00 -0700

From the truly absurd (you can't get pregnant your first time) to the more ambiguous (oral sex is less risky), sex myths abound. But y'all are smart, and can surely separate the wheat from the chaff when it comes to the perils and pleasures of sex. Test your knowledge with my myth-versus-fact quiz.

Photo by Flickr User anomalous4

Take the quiz

Sex Myth: Men Want Sex ALL the Time

DearSugar — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 11:00:00 -0700

Where did we ever get the idea that men want sex MORE than women? While it's true that men might feel like it's cool to have as many sexual partners as they can get their horny little hands on, there's got to be women out there satisfying they're need too, right?

In my opinion, it all depends on personality, not gender. Some men don't want sex all the time, and some women can't get enough.

A woman could be sitting on the couch with her man watching TV. She'll reach over and gently rub his thigh, and he'll push her hand away and say "C'mon babe, I'm watching the game." How humiliating, not to mention frustrating!

This debunked myth is screwing things up (no pun intended). In order for a women to want to make love, part of her needs to feel wanted, to be chased, and sought after. So what's a girl to do if her guy has a low libido?

Want to find out, then read more

If you are feeling sex-starved and your man isn't in the mood, give these a try:

Surprise him by sneaking into the bathroom while he's taking his morning shower (and plan on being late to work)
While he is doing something like checking his email or watching TV, go over sit on his lap, and casually start kissing his neck. Some men can't resist a woman who initiates sex.
Plan a surprise massage. Set up blankets on the floor, candles, soothing music, and massage oil. Add some sweet kisses and I bet your massage won't last long...
Wear something you know he likes. This could be a special scent, dangly jewelry, high heels, a flirty skirt, or a t-shirt. It doesn't have to be a sexy g-string - not all guys are into that.
Give him a little space. If you are constantly trying to get it on and he's shooting you down, take the hint. Go out with your girlfriends, go for a run, let him be without you, and he'll be missing you in no time.
Talk to him about how you're feeling. Maybe there's a reason he's not feeling in the mood.

I hope this helps! Have any other ideas? Share them below.

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Truth or Myth? You Know When You Know

TresSugar — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 13:00:00 -0700

When The Office's John Krasinski gushed at the Emmys about his recent engagement to Emily Blunt, he added support to the age-old dating adage: you'll just know when you've met the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

John said:

"So many people say, 'You know when you know,' and it's true. It's all true."

If you plan on getting married some day, do you expect that it will be obvious that you and your partner are supposed to be together forever? What about those of you who are engaged or married: did you just know?