TresSugar

Confidence Can Help Your Immune System

DearSugar — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:00:00 -0700

We all know that loving yourself is good for the soul, but according to a recent article in Glamour magazine, women who like their bodies regardless of their weight felt sick 30 percent less than women who wished they weighed less. Peter Muenning who conducted this study explains that "feeling bad about yourself activates stress centers in the brain that can actually lead to disease."

This finding makes complete and perfect sense to me, but have you noticed a correlation to your health and your self-confidence? If not, hopefully the desire to stay healthy will prevent so many of us from being overly critical and self-deprecating.

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Do Tell: When Do You Feel the Most Beautiful?

DearSugar — Tue, 27 May 2008 09:00:00 -0700

I'm sure we all can be pretty fickle when it comes to the way we feel about ourselves. An entire room full of people could tell us we look stunning, but if we don’t feel like it, no matter what they say, we won’t believe them. Likewise, when we’re at home on a lazy weekend in our frumpiest outfit, we may feel radiantly beautiful - it's really just a state of mind. I happen to feel at my best just after a relaxing day on the beach but ladies, do tell, when do you feel the most beautiful?

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Group Therapy: How Do I Get a Shy Guy to Open Up?

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 03:00:00 -0700

I'm dating a shy guy - we have only been on two dates so far -and I really like him. When I can get him talking we have some great conversations. We went out recently, and I really wanted him to step up to the plate and kiss me. But he didn't, and I don't know if I should make the first move or not. I don't want to fall into a situation where I have to initiate everything the first time. He sent me a text message this morning, saying he had a great time, and he really wanted to kiss me but then got scared because he wasn't sure if I wanted that or not. To me I had made it as obvious as I could without coming out and straight up asking him to.

I have never dated a guy of this nature before, and I am not sure how to handle him. I am used to dating men who tend to be really aggressive. This guy is so sweet and good-natured, and I can't help but want to make it work. So tell me, how do you successfully date a shy guy?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Do Tell: What Do You Do For an Immediate Confidence Booster?

DearSugar — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 07:00:00 -0700

We all have those days when we feel a little down and out. It's totally normal to wake up on the wrong side of the bed every once in a while, but it's key not to let the blues get the best of you, although that's often easier said than done! When I need a quick fix, buying something new always turns my day around. I know it's not the most savvy method, but it works for me! Since we are all different, do tell ladies, what's your remedy when you need an instant confidence booster to lift your mood?

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You Asked: Never Been in a Relationship

DearSugar — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 06:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar -
I am in my early 20s, attending a good university but there's something that has bugged me for a long time - I have never had a boyfriend or had someone tell me that they like me and I don't understand why. I feel so embarrassed by the fact that all my girlfriends have had relationships or hookups in the past and I've had close to none. I feel like I'm pretty approachable but I don't understand why guys don't pursue me. People always say I look so "cute and attractive," and I certainly don't think I'm hideous so I'm just so confused. I know that being shy has a lot to do with it, so can you help me step out of my shell and be more outgoing around guys? - Shy Shelby

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more

Dear Shy Shelby,

While I'm sure it's easy to compare yourself and your experiences to your girlfriends, keep in mind that everyone is different. Never having a relationship is nothing to be embarrassed about - finding love is not a contest. If you want to meet people, you're going to have to put yourself out there. Being shy might make this more difficult for you, but if you push yourself a little bit outside your comfort zone, I'm pretty sure it will pay off in the long run.

As E. Jean once said, if you place yourself where there are high numbers of men, it becomes a mathematical certainty you will meet someone. Since you're still in school, join a book club, or go to parties with your girlfriends, study in a cafe instead of your room, hit the gym or try to get involved in more school activities. If you keep your spirits and self confidence high, you'll become more approachable and you'll feel more worthy of the possibility of meeting someone. Be patient Shelby and when you least expect it, it will happen for you. Good luck.

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Do Tell: What's Your Best Asset?

DearSugar — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 07:00:00 -0800

We live in a society where it's considered arrogant or conceited to acknowledge your good assets. Even though parents try to raise self-confident women, it feels like a double standard when others put you down for being confident about your looks, or your brain. So ladies, since you're in a safe place here, be proud of what you have - do tell, what's your best attribute?

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News to Me: Dove Onslaught Campaign

DearSugar — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 16:00:00 -0800

Dove has been running many campaigns all over the world to help promote women's self-confidence. Everywhere you look, Dove billboards show women stripped down to their skivvies, proving that beauty comes in all sizes, shapes, colors, and ages.

While I think it's an amazing message to portray, Dove's latest onslaught spot is raising a few eyebrows, and I can see why. At the end of this one minute ad, Dove asks you to "Talk to your daughter before the beauty industry does." FitSugar loves the ad, and while I think it's important to love yourself for who you are, I don't think the beauty industry is necessarily the enemy.

So ladies, even though we do live in a beauty-obsessed world, I'm anxious to hear your opinion on this controversial video. Is applying a little makeup here and there all that bad? If you're unhappy with your chest size, does it make you weak if you choose to get a breast augmentation? Check out the video and tell me what you think.

Group Therapy: can't live up

Thu, 22 Feb 2007 13:57:35 -0800

hey guys I am feeling like i can't live up to the super sexy ideal women... that i am just pretty for an average person and that there are all these girls that are so much hotter than me. i just want to start crying. I have become so paranoid that my boyfriend fantasizes about other girls (even though he says he doesn't). He has a few friends on myspace that are obviously in porn or something like that he says they just friend him and he doesn't even look at their sites but i just saw one and started crying--- why am i not that hot? the crazy thing is i would never in a million years dream about demeaning myself in that way but i feel like no one finds me attractive and i long for that kind of attention. Does anyone ever feel this way - if so what do you do?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

Group Therapy: I Need a Confidence Boost

Sat, 06 Dec 2008 10:00:00 -0800

How do you develop better self-esteem, self-confidence, and the ability to stand up for yourself? I have struggled with this all my life. I am horrible at saying no to people, and am really bad at sticking up for myself. Even if it's clear that I'm being mistreated or manipulated, I always just concede in order to keep the peace or to save the relationship; whether that be a friendship or a romantic relationship. I realize I do this and I realize it's resulted in me being pushed around and controlled, but I just don't know how to correct it. Any advice?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be read more GROUP THERAPY, click here or submit your own question here.]

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Dear Poll: Do You Have High Self-Esteem?

DearSugar — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 17:00:00 -0700

According to Merriam-Webster, self-esteem is defined as “a confidence and satisfaction in oneself." That sums it up, but I think it’s so much more. Self-esteem is about defining yourself outside of other’s perceptions. It’s about recognizing that you’re an imperfect person and that that’s OK. People with high self-esteem naturally make those around them feel more comfortable and confident, while persons with low self-esteem can easily end up closing themselves off from others. I know we all grapple with insecurities - that’s just part of being human - but would you say that you have high self-esteem?

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