TresSugar

The How-To Lounge: Seating Your Guests

DearSugar — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Figuring out where to seat the guests at your wedding is not a small task and can be a source of a lot of anxiety, but I'm here to offer some helpful tips on how to map out your reception seating. Regardless of the kind of dinner you have - sit down, buffet, or station - you have to provide your guests with a place to sit and enjoy their meal and good company. To see my tips, click here to read more

Don't start this project until you have received all your RSVP cards. It'd be a real shame to have every table perfected before you know who is really coming.
Know before starting the seating chart that it could take a few tries, so try not to get too flustered!
Since there will be guests at your wedding that you don't know very well (parents, friends, or new inlaws) you'll need to ask for help from relatives when it comes to finding a place for them to sit.
Be sure that every person has a place card. Even if you pick out who you want at what table, it's best to assign them a proper seat as well.
Regardless of the shape of your table, I always recommend sitting boy/girl. It looks clean and can aid in good chit chat. One thing to remember is that a rectangular table is best for conversation, space, and viewing the bride and groom and the dancefloor.
There is usually a head table at every wedding. This typically consists of wedding party and their guests only, but some couples opt to include their parents as well. While there are no strict rules, space is always something to consider.
You should seat other family and close friends near the head table so they don't feel left out.
People disagree on whether or not you should sit couples and close friends together. I happen to feel that you should never split up couples - you want your guests to have fun and to feel comfortable, so why separate them from their loved ones?
Since there will presumably be single people attending your wedding, it's always fun to have a few singles tables. This is your time to play matchmaker so seat "like people" together.
If you choose not to have a sit down dinner, or if the meal isn't a big part of your reception, you should still make sure there are plenty of tables and chairs for people to sit down, but in this circumstance, place cards aren't necessary.
It's inevitable that some people won't show, and even though it's in poor form, sometimes guests bring uninvited dates so always prepare for the unexpected. Make sure you have a few extra chairs and place cards on hand.
Know that your guests will be moving around throughout the night, but don't think this is because you haven't done a good job with the seating assignments. They're probably just being social, which is a good thing!

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The How-To Lounge: Reception Speech and Toast Etiquette

DearSugar — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 08:00:00 -0700

While the toasts at a rehearsal dinner are casual, the wedding reception usually has its own set of more formal speeches. Having planned speeches at your wedding is in no way mandatory, but if you don’t account for them, they’re likely to happen anyway, so before the big day, it’s best to sit down for a few minutes to plan them out. To check out my tips on reception speech etiquette, read more

It’s a good idea to check in with your parents, maid of honor, and best man to see who would like to make a toast versus those who’d rather not. Usually at least one parent from either side will give a thank you toast to the guests and some words for the future. However, often parents like to propose a toast together, so talk with them to decide what works for your wedding.
Once you know who’ll be speaking, decide the lineup. Usually the best man will begin the process and the bride and groom will end it, but the order is truly discretionary.
The bride and groom should set aside an appropriate time for speeches - typically they take place just after everyone has been seated for dinner and all of the drinks have been poured, but it’s fairly common to have them after the cake has been cut as well.
It’s important that everyone speaking takes some time before the big day to prepare. This doesn’t need to be typed out and printed, but it’s smart to at least have an idea of what you're going to say.
Perhaps most important is to keep it short! I’d recommend no more than three to five minutes per person. Obviously, if you’re only having a toast or two, they can be longer, but watch out because speeches really can add up. Guests will get antsy if they go on too long, and really, who wants to waste the reception toasting when you could be dancing?
For the family and attendants: Don’t try too hard to make it extra funny, cute, or sentimental. You really don’t need a shtick to make a good toast. While it’s typical to include a small anecdote, make sure your stories don't get too personal. It’s best to keep things general so all the guests can appreciate what you’re saying.
For the bride and groom: Make sure to thank your guests for coming and being part of your important day. And don't forget to take a few seconds to acknowledge the people who put in the most time and effort.

While many people end up winging their speeches and toasts, I don’t recommend it. Just a touch of foresight can still leave room for some spontaneous words without the worry!

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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You Asked: How Can I Say No to Being a Bridesmaid?

DearSugar — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I have a close friend who is a guy. Over the years I have become friendly with his wife: We do things together as a group, but I never call her or do anything with her separately. To be honest, I don't care for her very much; she can be rude and very hard to have around. I have recently tried to distance myself from them, but I just learned that they are having a wedding "renewal" ceremony next year. It's going to be a big to-do - the wedding she never had - and she's planning on asking me to be a bridesmaid. I don't feel close enough to her to say yes, and truth be told, I don't want to spend the money or time on such a commitment. But how can I say "no?" I don't think I can use money as an excuse since the wedding is so far away. My husband and I are planning on starting a family; could I use that as an excuse? - Want to Decline Deborah

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Want to Decline Deborah,

If you're not a fan of this woman or don't even consider her a friend, the right thing to do is to say no to being her bridesmaid. Knowing off the bat that your role will feel more like a burden than an honor is reason enough to decline her offer. When she asks you, I think you should simply tell her that you won't be able to offer up enough of yourself to be a good bridesmaid, which is the truth. As someone who's looking to have her dream wedding, chances are she'll appreciate your honesty. To soften the blow, ask her if you can help be a part of her wedding on a smaller scale - ask to read a poem or help take guests to their seats on the big day.

Standing up at someone's wedding is a huge honor and something the bride won't take lightly, so if you don't feel up to the challenge, taking the high road and opting out is really the best thing you can do. Remember that time is of the essence, so don't procrastinate giving her your answer as she'll probably need to ask another friend to be in her wedding party. Hopefully she'll understand.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Wedding Planning Week in Review

DearSugar — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 04:00:00 -0700

If you missed any of wedding planning week here on Dear, check out my recap below!

Learn proper wedding reception etiquette, like how to arrange your seating chart and the best way to incorporate speeches and toasts.
Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently at your wedding?
Know of any wedding disaster stories? Share them with other Dear readers!
Need some help tackling that hefty guest list? Make it easy with Dear's handy tips.
When it comes to inviting kids to the big day, where do you stand?
Weddings are expensive even if it is not yours, so who do you think should have to pay for the bridesmaid expenses?
Stay on top of your wedding planning and check out part two of our wedding timeline.
Would you ever write your own vows?
His mom just won't butt out of the wedding planning! How would you handle this?
I've got everything you need to know to plan your rehearsal dinner without the fuss!

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Dear Poll: Have You Ever Had a Wedding Hookup?

DearSugar — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 10:00:00 -0700

For single guys and gals, weddings have a reputation for matchmaking - even if that match is sometimes for just one night. After all, you're surrounded by friends, love is in the air, and booze and bad dancing are plentiful. It's no wonder that for some wedding guests, the night ends with a little bit of making out or hooking up with a fellow wedding goer. Some couples even try to seat their single friends next to each other in hopes of making a connection. I've seen it work a few times so have you ever indulged in a wedding hookup?

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The How-To Lounge: Arrange the Seating Chart For Thanksgiving Dinner

DearSugar — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 10:00:00 -0800

I know what you're all saying, you can't believe Thanksgiving is just four days away, but it's time to accept the fact that it's early this year, so get cracking on setting your table! If you are at a loss as to who should sit next to whom, check out some of my tips.

Click here to read more.

Since Thanksgiving is a time when all are welcome, especially those who are far from family and close friends, be sure to use name tags at the dinner table to avoid seating anxiety and ensure no one forgets anyone's name!
Similar to seating at a wedding, I suggest seating boy/girl. It mixes up the conversation well and is aesthetically pleasing.
I always like to separate couples, brothers and sisters, and best friends in order to avoid cliques and encourage people to go outside their comfort zone.
Typically the hosts sit at either end of the table, and the person that is doing most of the serving should sit closest to the kitchen.
Be sure to sit a shy guest next to a more outgoing one and make an effort to seat people together who have similar interests so you don't have to worry about everyone getting along - Thanksgiving is supposed to be fun!
A lot of people have an open-door policy on Thanksgiving day, so make sure to have some extra chairs if you're expecting anyone to drop by.

I hope these tips help, and for any and all things Thanksgiving, check out what my good friends over at YumSugar have to say!

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Wedding Mania Round up

DearSugar — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:45:00 -0700

Thank you for being a part of DearSugar's wedding mania week-- it has been a lot of fun and all your comments have been wonderful!

Not everyone is comfortable speaking in public, so if you need some tips, check out the advice that was given to Speechless Sophie
Do tell, what was your favorite wedding party favor?
Since there are no rules when planning your rehearsal dinner, check out The How to Lounge for some simple etiquette guidelines
Did you follow wedding day traditions?
Seating all your guests is no small feat so click here for a push in the right direction
Since a picture says a thousand words, make sure you have your pose down pat!
Are you planning on changing your name after you get married?
What celebrity would you want as your celebrity maid of honor?

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