TresSugar

Handle This: He Only Dates on a Schedule

DearSugar — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 15:00:00 -0700

A couple months ago you started dating a guy that you met through an online site. He’s kind, intelligent, and funny, and though you haven’t had sex yet, the making out has been great so far. But he doesn’t ever seem like he wants to take it further. Stranger still, he refuses to see you other than Wednesday nights and Saturdays due to his "hectic schedule." You completely understand the demands of work, but after two months this seems really inexplicable. You have another Wednesday night date planned tonight, so how do you handle this?

Source

You Asked: I Can't Accept My Boyfriend's Female Friend

DearSugar — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I'm so incredibly jealous of one of my boyfriend's female friends, and I want to know how I can stop feeling this way. I'm not worried my boyfriend would ever do anything inappropriate, I know he only has eyes for me, I just get really angry and hurt inside when I know they're hanging out. Due to the way my life is right now, I'm lucky if I get to spend an afternoon with my boyfriend once every two weeks! She, on the other hand, gets to see him whenever she wants, multiple times a week, on fun outings like dinners, late-night coffee runs, movies, concerts - all the things I wish I could do with him but can't for the next few months. I would never tell my boyfriend to stop seeing her because he is trustworthy and should be free to spend time with his friends but it's eating me up inside knowing that I can't be a part of those fun times, and she can. I know it's not the friend's fault and it's not my boyfriend's fault, but I still feel rejected, jealous, and lonely. How can I make myself feel better about how bad this situation is? - Left Out Lani

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Left Out Lani,

I'm not sure what's going on in your life that's taking up so much of your time, but from what you're telling me, it sounds like your boyfriend is carrying on a relationship with someone else! They are doing everything a couple would do, so I completely understand why you're upset. Since asking them to stop hanging out isn't an option for you, it's imperative that you voice your feelings to him as soon as possible - he might not even know how you're feeling.

Since your busy schedule sounds temporary, keep your eye on the prize and know that you'll be spending time with your boyfriend and doing all the things you've been missing out on sooner than later. In the meantime, keep the lines of communication open with your boyfriend - I'm sure he'd feel the exact same way if the roles were reversed. But just because you can't spend long afternoons together, Lani, it doesn't mean you can't make the time you are together special. Try to spend the nights together so you can cuddle and feel connected again, ask him to meet you for coffee when you have breaks, and rev up the amount you text or talk on the phone. I'm sure just knowing that he's thinking about you will make things better until your schedule frees up. I hope this helps!

Source

Dear Poll: Do You Ever Lie to Get Out of a Commitment?

DearSugar — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Life is hectic, and it’s all too easy to sign on for more than you can or want to handle. Fortunately, I’ve practiced saying no often enough to avoid locking myself into an obligation I know I’ll regret later. Though I’m sure we’re all the type to try our best and follow through on commitments, every once and a while, when the time comes, it's normal to not feel up to making the effort. Sometimes a lie is easier than the truth, so do you ever lie to get out of a commitment?

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Do Tell: What's Your Standard Routine?

DearSugar — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 08:00:00 -0800

I was just having a conversation with my good friend PartySugar and she shared her weekly beauty rituals with me. Monday, Thursday and Saturday are her hair washing days, Tuesday and Friday are her leg shaving days and lastly, every Wednesday she paints her nails. Although I tend to do certain things on certain days, there's no way I could keep up with a schedule like hers! So ladies, since we all have our quirky ways about doing things, do tell, what's your secret weekly routine? Do you do laundry on the same day every week? Do you exfoliate on Monday, Wednesday and Friday or are you more of a free spirit who likes to just go with the flow?

Source

Where Do You Stand: Scheduled Sex Dates

DearSugar — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:00:00 -0700

We're all busy people. Many of us work or go to school full time. We take care of our dogs, our homes, or our children. We spend time at the gym, with our friends and family, and we run around doing errands on the weekends. The stress and busyness of everyday life can unfortunately take away time spent with our significant others, forcing couples to pencil each other in for special dates and intimacy.

Sometimes having a scheduled sex date is exciting, knowing all day that you have a hot date planned after work, then other times it can feel forced. So ladies, where do you stand on scheduled sex dates? Do you think it's important to set aside times for this kind of intimacy if you're too busy for it to come naturally? Or is sex better when it's spontaneous and unplanned?

Source

You Asked: My Boyfriend and I Have Opposite Schedules

DearSugar — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 13:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar --

I work a 9 to 5 job at a law firm while my boyfriend bar tends all night. When I am ready for bed at a normal hour, he is usually not because he slept during the day after getting home really late. The problem I have is that he stays out after the bar closes to clean up and wind down and then at least once a week he goes out afterwards without me. I obviously can't go since I have to be at work at 9am. He sometimes will arrive home just as I am getting up for work, which makes me so mad. If he would just come home when his shift is over, we could have something resembling a normal relationship. My boyfriend does not see that this is an issue, but it really bothers me that we have such opposite schedules. Things are great otherwise. Do I have a right to be angry about this or should I just let it go and be happy for the time we do get to spend together? --Left Out Lindsay

To see DEARSUGAR'S Response read more

Dear Left Out Lindsay --

I can see why you feel angry and hurt when your boyfriend goes out after work, but I think you need to take a good look at the situation and see if you might be able to compromise in some way. If his late nights typically only happen once a week, try cutting him a little slack. It is not uncommon for couples to have different work schedules and we all need a little time to unwind and relax outside of work, but it is important to make time to be together so you feel more connected to each other.

With that said, are you able to spend time together on the weekends or on your days off? I think you have a right to voice your concern if his nights on the town are making you feel second best next to his job. Let him know that the schedule he is keeping makes you feel alone in your relationship. Listen to how he responds. If he has legitimate reasons for being out so late, make sure you hear him out and try to come up with a compromise. If he gets defensive and hostile, those are good signs that he values his time out partying with friends more than his quality time with you. If that's the case, you might be better off without this man in your life. Relationships take work, but perhaps your opposite schedules act as too much of a road block for you to get what you need out of this partnership. Good luck.

Source

Dear Poll: Do you Believe in Scheduled C-Sections?

DearSugar — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 09:00:00 -0700

Something's in the water in Hollywood. Celebrity mothers-to-be are about ready to pop left and right, yet they haven't let their pregnancies stop them from exercising or spending the afternoon with girlfriends. While some mothers wait for their water to break, others opt for the more convenient yet highly controversial route, a scheduled c-section. It's been reported that Bridget Moynahan scheduled hers, and while I have my own point of view on this topic, what I want to know is, do you think scheduling a c-section is a good idea or a bad idea?

My Work Schedule Is Hurting My Relationship

DearSugar — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 12:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I have my absolute dream job. I have always wanted to work in the music industry and got my wish by landing the perfect job. My hours are quite brutal and my job can be somewhat unglamourous from time to time, but I really can't complain as the good far outweighs the bad.

I just got engaged to my high school sweetheart who I love more than anything. He is very understanding of my schedule, but lately my traveling has been excessive. When I travel for work, I can be gone anywhere from three to seven weeks at a time which is making it difficult to plan a wedding let alone find quality time to spend with my fiance. He is fed up and is pressuring me to look for a new job.

I love my fiance and can't wait to start our life together, but I love my job as well. All of my hard work is really paying off and I am being compensated quite nicely, so is there a way to find a happy medium to make us both happy? Globetrotting Gloria

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear Globetrotting Gloria,

I understand your dilemma and this is a tough position to be in. Congratulations on your engagement! Since you are away so much, I am sure you feel the pull to be close to home so you can enjoy this exciting time in your life. Since there are technically no rules of engagement, it is not unheard of for one partner to travel a lot for business, but if you feel it is putting a damper on your relationship, it's time to make a change.

Does your job require year round travel or is your hectic schedule circumstantial? Once you advance in your company, will you be able to leave the traveling behind? Have you been able to talk to your boss about possibly cutting back on your time away from home? Ultimately you have to decide if this job is more important than building your future with the man you love. Hopefully you can work something out with your employer so you can have it all. Good luck.

DC Sniper's Ex-Wife Says Those Bullets Were Meant For Her

TresSugar — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 07:00:00 -0700

On October 23, 2002, Mildred Muhammad was visited at her Maryland home by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives agents. They'd come to inform her that her ex-husband, John, had begun shooting people around her. "You are the target," they told her ominously.

John Muhammad would come to be known as the "Beltway Sniper," and with his teen accomplice Lee Malvo, he went on a shooting spree in Maryland, DC and Northern Virginia that left 10 people dead. Malvo is serving a life sentence, and Muhammad is scheduled to be executed November 10 of this year.

In her new book, Scared Silent, Mildred Muhammad talks about her 12-year marriage to John. Things started out well, but John became emotionally and physically abusive after he returned from an Army tour during the Gulf War. Mildred is convinced that his plan was eventually to kill her so that he could regain custody of the children he lost in 2001 and to get compensation for them as crime victims. (He believed the nameless "Beltway Sniper" would be blamed.)

"I was recalling every frightening comment John had ever made to me. He once said, 'When a man hits a woman, it means that he has lost all respect for her. It would be easy for him to kill her after that.' But I did not foresee, not even in my wildest nightmare, that John would ever kill people who had nothing to do with me or our troubled marriage."

Mildred Muhammad hopes that her book will help other victims of domestic violence get the help they need.

Levi Johnston Pitches Nuts - Love It or Leave It?

TresSugar — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 16:00:00 -0700

Levi Johnston, teen dad and pain-in-the-ass to Sarah Palin, knows how to laugh at himself. After taking time out of his busy schedule to escort Kathy Griffin to the Teen Choice Awards, Levi has now fit a commercial for pistachios into his busy 15 minutes of fame. Since Levi has no shame, the Wonderful Pistachios commercial includes a joke about "using protection." His son must be so proud! Did this commercial make you laugh, or are you so over Levi?