TresSugar

What Are Your Favorite Same-Sex Love Stories?

DearSugar — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 14:00:00 -0700

Today is a historic occasion in California: Starting at 5 p.m. PDT, same-sex couples will be able to apply for marriage licenses throughout the state. Most courts and clerk's offices are staying open later to accommodate couples who've been waiting years to the knot, including Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, who have been together for more than half a century.

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi have announced their plans to wed, and if you live in California, you probably know at least one couple who plans to do the same. I remember when the city of San Francisco briefly legalized gay marriage in 2004, we had an impromptu champagne toast at my office for two couples who'd just gotten hitched. Even if you don't live in a state where gay marriage is legal, chances are you know a same-sex couple who has had a commitment ceremony or who has been together for years. What are some of your favorite love stories of same-sex couples? Share them in the comments below!

Flynet

Has Technology Ruined Romance For Us?

TresSugar — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 07:00:00 -0800

Conservative columnist David Brooks wrote an essay in the New York Times yesterday about how technology is ruining love and sex for the youngins.

Although Brooks reaches this conclusion based on the testimony of some horndogs who agreed to be "online sex diarists" for New York magazine (he admits it's a pretty unrepresentative demographic), Brooks nevertheless believes their stories tell us something fundamental about love in the age of technology: it's allowed people to treat potential sex partners (and it's significantly limited to this) as if they were products on eBay.

Once upon a time - in what we might think of as the "Happy Days era" - courtship was governed by a set of guardrails. Potential partners generally met within the context of larger social institutions: neighborhoods, schools, workplaces and families. There were certain accepted social scripts. The purpose of these scripts - dating, going steady, delaying sex - was to guide young people on the path from short-term desire to long-term commitment.

Now? People have lots of different kinds of sexual attachments with different people at the same time, and their cellphones help making and canceling plans as easy as rearranging Netflix queues. (I'll take the credit for that last analogy!)

Do you agree with Brooks? Is it true that, "In today’s world, the choice of a Prius can be a more sanctified act than the choice of an erotic partner"?

Ask E. Jean For DearSugar: Does He Have True Feelings For Me?

E Jean Carroll — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 09:17:24 -0700

Dear E. Jean,

I’m an elegant, attractive, educated and well-spoken 37-year-old woman. After nothing but eight long years of dating horror stories, three months ago I met a really attractive, sexy, open, bright, educated, and interesting 40-year-old man who was well raised and comes from a very nice family.

Since then we have been seeing each other up to three to four times a week, including sleepovers at both my house and his. Given that we both talk openly with one another about desiring marriage and a family, we realize the need, and share the same interest in spending lots of quality time together. We also realize that by doing so, we have put our relationship on a rather fast track. That can be an exciting thing to do, but it can have some major pitfalls too that are rather unexpected.

So, the major issue we are contending with has to do with altogether too frequent discussion and many detailed references to past relationships - on both sides. Honestly, my new man opened this line of communication with me very early into our relationship. I believed at that time, and appreciated, that it was purely for informational purposes - not to make me jealous and certainly not to showboat. In turn, I felt safe opening up about my past heartbreaks in order to let him know he was in good company, but that I was serious minded about him and what we could build together based on what lessons we had cultivated from our past choices and subsequent disappointments.

But now, three months later, I am growing increasingly concerned by his constant references to not only the most recent failed relationship (nothing more than an extended "Summer fling" type of love affair with a seriously-troubled woman in her mid-30s), but also to the many women he has dated over the last 20 years. How he remembers so much detail is beyond me. I can scarcely recall what any of my exes looked like in the nude, nor do I care to recall for that matter. I have pointed out several times how much better it would be for me, and for us, to converse about more interesting and more appropriate things. We do, by the way, laugh often and have a wide range of topics that we chat about. And he has been agreeable each time to my request. But then, at some point soon after, he launches into yet another story or analysis of what might have been wrong with so andso or how hurt he was when his attempts to help and/or intervene with this one or that one failed. To me, he seems hung up on the past failed relationships.

But the most damaging thing of all is that he provides me with far too much detail about past sexual matters. Sometimes he tells me that sex with so and so was awful, then he recants and says that in the beginning with her he actually really enjoyed it. It is becoming more clear to me as I grow to know him that almost every single lady he has been with since he was in high school had serious emotional and/or psychological problems. We're talking about family histories of severe alcoholism and physical abuse, women with eating disorders, girlfriends who may have been sexually abused by parental figures, rape, neglect, poverty, etc.

Yet again, this is just the beginning so read more!!!

His most recent ex-girlfriend currently works as a high-school special education teacher, but at night and on weekends she sells drugs (pot, pills) out of her basement, to some of these same students she teaches by day!

My most recent mistake was a relationship with a man I came to view as secretive, commitment phobic, and probably living some kind of double life. I think the whole affair was one great big lie. Admittedly, it was a traumatic bond and a most painful experience for me. It has now been a year since I ended that nightmare, and sufficient time has passed so that I am more than ready, not to mention eager, to move on.

My new man, however, did not make a clean break from his most recent affair with the teacher, and when he met me he was still interacting with her. I cannot be sure how often. He finally informed me last week that he recently received a long-winded letter from her, filled to the brim with apologetic words and sorrowful language and leaving no doubt in my mind that she would like to pick it up where they left off and try again. He insists that he is over her, well aware that he'd be stupid to ever go back to her, that he is happy with me, that I blow her out of the ballpark in terms of just about everything. But my anxiety grows by the day and I am uncomfortable and uncertain of his true feelings for me, and for her. I have an impossible time anymore taking a man at his word. Burned a few too many times I guess. Help!!! - Connected in Buffalo

Buffalo, My Luv,

The man is a giant ass.

His being an ass, however, is beside the point. You must deal with the genuine travesty here, which is this: You’ve told us that his “most recent” girlfriend is a special education teacher, and that she’s selling drugs to kids - not only to kids - but to her special kids who need extra care.

This is murderous! The drugs she sells to the kids may interact with their medications. The effects of the interactions - memory loss, hallucinations, convulsions, seizures, brain damage, car crashes, death - if I listed just the obvious ones would take up the whole page here on DearSugar. So call the police at once. Also alert the Board of Education. The women needs to be in jail by tonight.

I’ve never heard of such a weak, deluded, manipulative, talky-talky, embarrassing excuse for a man in my life.

That this “bright, educated, and interesting” boyfriend of yours didn’t stop his drug-pushing “Summer fling” from imperiling the children in her care tells me everything I need to know about him.

This is not a man a smart woman would ever consider as a husband and father. Underneath that “nice family” veneer, he’s a 40-year-old narcissistic pantywaist. He’s so involved with himself and all the sex he had with screwed-up, alcoholic, sexually-abused women in the past, he will never see you for the healthy, worthy, lovely woman who you are.

Get rid of him, Miss Buffalo! You can do a thousand times better.

To see more advice from E. Jean, visit Elle magazine and AskEJean.com.

You Asked: Is Something Wrong With Me?

DearSugar — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nine months. I have known him basically all my life and one day we just kissed! He is a great guy that loves me and cares for me like no other guy has. Now the only problem is that he loves sex (just like every other guy on this planet!) but I feel like I can't keep up with him. This is causing a rift between us because sometimes I'm just not in the mood and I feel like he feels let down. I have been wondering if there could be something wrong me or if there is some kind of woman Viagra I can take to help this situation. I'm too embarrassed to bring it up to my girlfriends because from the stories they share, they don't seem to be having the same problem I am. Please help! - Low Sex Drive Darcy

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more

Dear Low Sex Drive Darcy,

You should not feel embarrassed that you don't have a sex drive that matches your boyfriend's. Just like you stated, every guy on the planet loves sex, and if they had it their way, they'd have it all the time, but most women are just wired differently, that's all. Are you on any hormonal birth control? If so, that could be what's to blame. Many women feel the side effects from their BC wreaks havoc on their sex drive so perhaps you can experiment with other methods. Also keep lube handy - even if you aren't totally in the mood, it can make all the difference in the world. It's also not uncommon for couples to get stuck in a sexual rut so plan a date night, set the mood and wow the pants off your man - I'm sure he'll forget right then and there that there's a rift at all!

Unfortunately there are no Viagra like drugs on the market, however researchers are working on it. In the meantime, I suggest talking to your boyfriend about the way you feel. It sounds like your relationship has a great foundation so don't keep your insecurity a secret from him. If he hasn't told you that he feels let down, be sure you're not beating yourself up about nothing. Have a heart to heart and make sure you're on the same page about your expectations and needs. I hope this helps.

Source

Come Story Telling with me!!! The Completed Story

DearSugar — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 11:56:52 -0700

I hope you all enjoyed this new feature as much as I did! Your wild imaginations made for a great story line! To read the completed tale you all helped create, read more

"Ready for coffee yet?" I e-mailed Leah, "I am DYING to tell you about my crazy weekend with Jordon...." "I can't" was the quick response. Curious since she was always so eager to hear the details of my one night stands that turn into a full weekend. Wait, was Jordan his name again? "Okay, well then, when?" Was my impatient reply. What was going on with her? "In 1 hour, I'm dealing with something right now. Star-bee's, k?" Leah responded. "K" I said. What was I going to do for one whole hour? I really wanted to tell her about Jordon, and find out what was going on with her!

I arrived at starbucks an hour later. That's odd, she usually arrives before me whenever we make plans to meet up I hope she's ok. She arrived 15 minutes late. I had already ordered my mochiato, and she went and ordered a white blueberry unsweetened shaken iced tea. She sat down and it began to rain outside.

"So what was the big hold up?," I asked Leah. "I was making an appointment for Caleb." Caleb was her three year old son and she just recently went back to work since having him. She had been freaking out ever since he has started pre-school. She cant stand being away from him for a full 8 hrs. She is constantly making appointments for him, always worried he has caught something from another child. "Well I want to tell you all about Jordon! Or wait...was his name George? Haha--"

"Angela!? Are you ever going to grow up! You're 34! What's up with all of the flings all the time!?," Leah screamed at me. "Jeeeeeeeeeeeeez. What is your problem?" I was shocked. Leah had never responded this way to my flings before. Leah burst into tears. "I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I've just been so jealous lately because I've been tied down with Josh and the baby. I miss our fun time together and I'm stressed about the baby and working. I'm so sorry."

Okay, so this was new. I carefully thought about it and then said. "I totally understand but you gotta remember not everything's greener on the other side of the fence. Granted we always had a blast in the past but remember all the heartache you were put through? Look at what you have now," I said with a smile. "I on the other hand..." "I am jumping from one bed to another at a pace that would stand freud's hair on end. Your son is beautiful, healthy and adores his wonderful mommy. Stop already. You can live the wild life through me! Now listen to MY story..."

Jordon's truck rumbled down the old dirt road as the blindfold tugged uncomfortably at Angela's hair. She strained her neck with the hope that it might loosen the cloth's unyielding grasp but with each bump she began to forget about the black and green stripped blindfold "Where are we going?" begged Angela. "We have at least been driving for 3 hours and as being the one who is temporarily blind I demand some freedom for me eyes."

Jordon only laughed and told Angela that their destination was only just around the bend but as they turned the sharp corner a huge blur cascaded upon their windshield and glass was now covering the blindfold that had transformed into her protection instead of her momentary handicap.

"Oh sh*t, oh my god, Angela are you okay?" cried Jordon. "Wh-what did we hit?" squeaked Angela and as she reached up to untie her bittersweet companion she felt it was bloody and when she removed her blindfold she saw that they hit a man. They quickly rushed to see is the man was badly hurt. "Oh my God!" Angela exclaimed. She was also surpised to see that the man they hit is her ex-boyfriend. "Travis are you okay?" Angela said while her trembling hands touched the face of the man they hit.

Leah stops Angela midway through her story. "Wait wait wait... what!? Are you serious?!" Leah exclaimed. "Of course not!" reassured Angela, "I was trying to shock you so you wouldn't think about the problems you're blowing out of proportion since we both know consoling you doesn't work. You know I love you Leah and will always be there for you whenever you need me." "Goodness gracious! I was starting to think you've gone crazy with that story of yours! So tell me what really happened with Jorden or Goerge or whatever the heck his name is haha," said Leah.

"We met at a party and flirted like all night. We went back to my place and had the best sex ever." "Are you going to see him again?" asked Leah. "I didn't get his number, or full name for that matter. Too bad, because I thought there was something there. He did however leave behind a briefcase with the initials "G.B.H." I then lifted up the briefcase and put it on the table. "Well then, his name is most likely George then.

Did he get your number?" "No," I said sadly. "This is really nice leather. I think it is italian." She tried to open it, but it was locked. "I know, it smells lovely. Should we break it open and try to find him? I so badly want to see him again. "

Leah carries around everything in her purse. Her husand, Josh, had recently given her a very expensive pocket knife. She took out a screwdriver and screwed out the screws holding the lock. The briefcase had been made for style, not security. They popped it open and inside was paper work and objects in plastic bags.

"Omg he's a lawyer!! It was Geordan B. Hoffler, the top prosecutor in the state!! He is doing that high profile case against Lindsay Lohan today."

Lindsay Lohan had recently been arrested, again, but this time for breaking into Philisophy cosmetics. It had stuned the media recently as to why. "Geordan?" I asked. "His parents are loaded and his father's name was Georgan, an his mother Jordan. His siblings are Georgianna, Skye, and Taylor. The own a hotel chain across Europe, but like it here in the US. Geordan wanted to do more than be an heir, and went to Yale."

When Leah was pregnant she spent time reading all about socialites.
"Well, we better get down to the courthouse then and get him his briefcase." As they stumbled through the crowd at Starbucks, all Leah could think about is how jealous she was of Angela's wealthy one night stand.

She looked at Angela from the corner of her eye. Angela stood 5'7" tall and her long, auburn hair cascaded in waves down to her shoulder blades. Her big, hazel eyes gave the illusion of two planet earths floating in her sockets. Leah knew she was plain in comparison to Angela, with her short, blond bob and grayish-blue eyes. Her skin was much more fair is color than Angela's too. I wish I was a passionate sultriest, maybe then my husband and I wouldn’t be fighting over these... "Papers!..", exclaimed Leah and Angela stopped in her tracks.
"What?!" , inquired Angela..."Papers?" "Oh nothing, I was just remembering some papers I had to sign for work, but they can wait," answered Leah. They can always wait, she thought. She had never wanted divorce. They hopped into Leah's car and hurried down to the courthouse but was unable to get through due to the enormous amount of paparazzi filling up the streets.

"What are we going to do?," asked Angela. "There's no way we'd find Geordan in this chaos." Angela who had insisted that she drive, took a sharp u-turn and headed back towards the coffee shop. "Where are we going?" asked Leah. "I thought we were going to find Geordan no matter what?" "Oh shhh, we are going, trust me alright," bellowed Angela as she swerved through the Lindsay Lohan fans and haters.

The streets were full of old brick buildings that were now being obstructed by thousands of human bodies. Leah could not understand why this young star got so much attention but then again Leah wished she could walk down the same street and be loved and even hated by thousands.

She loved and hated her husband but she remembers it as if it were yesterday - the long dark strand of hair that she pulled out of his sweater as she does his laundry. She thinks she is being silly; that he works with women everyday. She beings to fold his gray, Calvin and Klein slacks, the same ones he wore when he went to his knees in their engagement. And as if in slow motion, the pink note slips out of the back pocket it says three simple words:

"Josh, I want a divorce." She said when they sat down for dinner four nights ago. They were having green beans and chicken. Josh just stared at her in shock, his mouth hanging open wide, and his fork midway to his mouth full of greenbeans. "..But why? We have been so happy! What about Caleb? Don't you love me? Don't you love him."
"I love you with all my heart," she said and got up from the table and threw the plate into the sink. It shattered in the sink. She grabbed her car keys and had been staying at her mother's house since. She hadn't been making a call to Caleb's doctor, but to her sister and divorce laywer, Rachel.

Rachel had tried to tell her she is jumping to conclusions. She knew her sister's marriage wasn't like the ones she always deals with. Leah wouldn't listen though. She couldn't imagine any other reason as to why there would be a note from a mysterious "A". "A" for Amber, "A" for Amanda, "A" for Ashley she thought..."A" for Angela?? "No, it can't be my Angela" she thought.

You would of never thought Angela to be a morale woman by any means. She was always bed hopping, and was quite the lush in college. But, Angela would of never have commited adultery. Not with her Josh right?

"You slut," said Leah outloud to Angela without thinking. Angela thought she was kidding. "Oh come on, you have always known I like my one night stands." "I found the note you left Josh." "The one about the necklace?"
"Pardon?"
"I picked up a custom made locket for him, that's for you. It has a picture of Caleb on one side, and the other of him. It is 18 k white gold. OMG! You think I slept with him!? Leah! Never!!!"

They now needed to rush to the court for Lindsay Lohan's trial, and to stop Rachel from writing up anymore paperwork. Outside a Lindsay Lohan fan was holding a sign that read "Save L-Lo." "Oh brother," said Angela. They had to walk 27 blocks to get to the court house through all the media.

"How are we going to get through?" asked Angela. There were twenty sherrif deputies controling the crowd. Leah went up to one and said, "I am meeting my lawyer Rachel Henry today here to look at some legal work." "Why aren't you meeting at her firm?" asked the deputy.
"She was having a hearing today for another case, and needed to see me asap. I wanted the paper work done right away." Leah showed him the divorce papers, and he recognized Rachel Henry's name. He let Leah and Angela up to the steps, through the doors.

There in the lobby was Rachel, Geordan, two other lawyers, and Josh.
"Angela!!" yelled Geordan!! He ran over to her. "I was so upset you didn't call me! I wanted to see you again, and also I left my very important briefcase at your apartment."
"You didn't leave your number," said Angela.
"Yes I did, on the dry errase board in the kitchen."
Angela hadn't gone to the kitchen this morning. She has her breakfast at Starbucks every morning.
Leah turned to Josh, "I was all wrong about the note, I'm sorry! Angela told me about the necklace." "Well there goes your surprise," said Josh.
"It is ok, you're always giving me gifts, all I need is you and Caleb. They hugged each other in an embrace and he kissed her gently. Everyone around them made an "aww noise." "Well," said Geordan, "Angela you can go sit in the back of the court if you wish. We have an important trial today."

Angela went and took a seat in the courtroom. A half hour later the trial began. Every seat in the courtroom was filled and the noisy whispers made the courtroom seem like packed stadium. Angela handed Geordan his Italian leather briefcase and he kissed her softly on her cheek. She blushed and took a seat next to Rachael, Angela and Josh.
Geordan walked to the front of the courtroom with a hop in his step since he now had Angela and his briefcase back. Angela could not help but think how nice his ass really looked in his Gucci made suit and began imagining herself in a nice, silk designer wedding dress.
"Whoa..", she sighed out loud and Leah raised her left eyebrow is curiosity. Leah gave a sweet smile and then looked away. They had been friends for too long for Leah to not understand what Angela had been thinking but why did Leah even think she would have slept with Josh?

Leah was a beautiful women with Marylin Monroe hair cut that made her look like a porcelain doll. Her fair skin always showed her soft pink cheeks and her hair fell perfectly into front of her marble eyes.
Then Angela had an idea, maybe a necklace wasn't what Leah really needed... "I got it!" exclaimed Angela. Her sudden outburst halted the court's proceedings. She blushed and quickly hid her face behind her Birkin. Leah turned to her friend and asked, "What was that about?"
"oh nothing," answered Angela gleefully.

I hope LaBelle Spa Retreat has an opening this up coming weekend, thought Angela. Leah totally deserves to be pampered after going through postpartum depression. Since the birth of her baby girl Grace, she has been down. And with Caleb going off to pre-school, and thinking Josh was cheating. It was to much for her. Poor Leah.
As trail went on Leah grew bored with this L- Lo non-sense.....
She leaned into Angela and "Hey, Lets blow this joint!" "Seriously?" replied Angela, somewhat taken aback at the thought of having to miss watching her new man in action in the courtroom. "Where to?" Angela jerked her head around and squealed. Again, the whole courtroom turned around to see who was interrupting the proceedings.

"I have an idea... just follow me, it'll be a surprise!" And with that, she led Angela as quietly as possible out of the courtroom. Strangely enough, neither women looked back to see their men being left behind. They walked the 27 blocks back to the car. I feel really bad about accusing you with Josh," said Leah. "Well, I have always been a bit wild, but I'd never do that." "I know." "And you're right. I'm 34. I need to settle down a tad." "O really?" said Lead raising an eyebrow. "Well, as in settle down I mean dating one guy for awhile, and seeing where it takes me. I wont cast out marriage, as long as my husband is a sex machine, and can satisfy my many tastes." "And is Geordan that man?"
"Haha, maybe." "So, how are we going to get you with Geordan, and me to beg for forgiveness from Josh?" "What if I take Grace and Caleb this weekend, and you go to this great spa with Josh? They have couple massages, mudbaths, and a huge jacuzzi in your room. Courtesy of moi."
"That sounds nice."
"Now that I'm being such a saint, are you going to help me with Geordan?" "Of course! Well, you obviously already have him hooked. Perhaps you should be waiting there to celebrate with him after the trial, or comfort his loss?" "Haha, well Lohan is totally guilty."

The ladies then went to Anthropolgie to get come cute outfits, and then to Agent Provocateur for something more sexy underneath. While trying on sexy lingerie Angela knew this was the time to boost Leah's spirits. She grabbed a nearby chemise she had been eying and told Leah to put it on. Leah stepped out of the changing room with her short, blond curls softly outlining her face her cheeks stained with an embarrassed blush. "Wow.." is all Angela could say while Leah soft smile turned into a frown. "You picked out a nice one," regarded Leah as she touched the pink chemise lined with silk white roses and pink lace.
"Pink was always my color," sighed Leah. "What's WRONG with you," cried Angela. "You are a bombshell that just need a little self-confidence boost and I still have no idea what is stopping you from wanting to make wild love to the lady you are looking at in the mirror, YOU!"

Leah laughed and Angela purr like a cat as Leah twirled in her new chemise. "Black Card to the rescue!" giggled Angela.

Gay Marriage Is on Now! Know the Debate Behind the Bells?

LibertySugar — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 06:00:53 -0700

Today most counties in California, the nation's most populous state, will begin their first full day of issuing marriage licenses to committed couples, regardless their gender combination. San Francisco kicked things off last night at 5:00 p.m., with Mayor Gavin Newsom marrying Phyllis Lyon, 87 and Del Martin, 84, who have been in love for over 50 years.

Take this quiz to find out if you've been following our gay rights coverage. After you get your results, you'll see some lovely highlights from many diverse stories. And for some laughs, watch Stephen Colbert interview a gay rights activist in his hilarious segment "Better Know a Gay Lobbyist."

Stay tuned for our exclusive eye-witness coverage of the same-sex ceremonies taking place at San Francisco's city hall today. Do you think we will see ceremonies like this spreading across the country or a more organized effort to halt the movement?

Source

Take the quiz

Come Story Telling with me!!! The Completed Story

DearSugar — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 11:30:00 -0700

I hope you all enjoyed this new feature as much as I did! Your wild imaginations made for a great story line! To read the completed tale you all helped create, read more

"Next time we go wine tasting, can we please do it on a Saturday instead of Sunday?" I typed to Sandra from the office Mac.

"I am super exhausted and have a wine hangover!" "Maybe if you hadn't DRANK so much Kammie," Sandra said. "I can't believe you got drunk from a wine tasting. What was that all about anyway?"

I knew I should've told her yesterday that I had seen Marcus from across the room. He wasn't alone; he was with a girl and what looked like a toddler, too old to be his that was for sure. He had everything I had ever wanted with him, but it was what he wouldn't give me.

L-O-V-E. They were four single letters that meant nothing without one another and everything when put together. Sure he had cared about me, but I cared about the barista that made my iced non-fat vanilla latte too, but that didn't mean I wanted to spend my life with him. The fact that he was clearly playing for the other team didn't help that fact either.

Kammie sighed and started to type back her usual tirade about men and how she was going to join a convent if her love life didn't pick up in two weeks. In the middle of a paragraph, she stopped and started to re-read what she had just written. With a sense of purpose, she highlighted and deleted the self pitying e-mail and typed "Give me a break. It was free wine! Anyways, it's lunch time now. How about we try the new retail diet? It's guaranteed to make your waist line AND your bank account shrink at the same time."

"Oh yeah. Where?" Was Sandra's quick reply. "Hush on Union Street at noon." I typed back. I've been dying to check out the new boutique since it opened in August. I'm sure I'm going to have to max out at least one credit card, but I'm dying to get my hands on a new DVF dress and some wide leg pants before winter gets here.

Now, back to work. Why couldn't I get this bank statement to balance? Maybe because I had a headache so bad I can't see the numbers straight. Why did I have to drink so much?!? I head to the kitchen to grad some Tylenol from the drawer, only to find that someone took the last one and put the empty bottle back in the drawer. I guess I'll .just have to wait on that. I grab a citrus Italian sparkling water from the office fridge and an oatmeal muffin and head back down the hall.

Tabatha, the office gossip, is heading towards me, giving me that I know something that you should know look. "Kammie, you will not believe who I just overheard saying that she saw you drinking a lot yesterday at Stone Villa Winery."

"Somebody else from the office was there? Oh sh*t," I squeaked. "Can you please tell me who, I am really hungover as you now know and I want to eat my muffin sooner rather than later."

"Laney Ridgeway," Tabatha said. "She was there with her fiance and her daughter." "Wh-who's her fiance?" I ask remembering that I saw Marcus with a slightly familiar face. "Marcus Ambrose. He works on the other side of 46th and 7th street I think at that new agency," said Tabatha.

"Yes, I'm familiar with that agency. Thanks Tabatha, that's juicy. I gotta go now." I didn't want to give Tabatha any ideas that might fuel her motor mouth. I took off down the hall and was totally engrossed in my thoughts when I turned the corner and ran right into Laney Ridgeway looking like she had just stepped out of the pages of a magazine.

"Why?" I screamed in my head as she shifted to the side to avoid colliding with me. "Hi Laney. How are you? New bag?"

Laney took in my limp, unwashed hair, and the wrinkled shirt I had picked up off the floor five minutes before running out the door this morning and frowned slightly. I squirmed under her gaze and literally just wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole. She looked down at the gorgeous, quilted Versace bag in her hand and nodded curtly.

"Yes, my fiance bought it for me as a surprise. In fact, I think you two know each other. He seemed to recognize you last night at the wine tasting."

"He what?!? I mean, I didn't even know you were there last night. What a surprise! I'm sure he was just mistaken. People always mistake me for other people." Laney narrowed her eyes. "Don't you want to know his name in case you actually do know him?"

Saved by the bell.. My Blackberry chimed just in time. "Ready? I'm downstairs," Sandra had sent to me. "Gotta go! Bye!" I half-heartily told Laney, or should I say Snotty McBoyfriend Stealer. Okay I know she didn't "steal" Marcus but the smug self-pleased look in her eyes told me she knew we had history.

Alone, finally, I looked into my reflection on the elevator doors and felt like my heart was being wrenched out of my chest. As my sad face disappeared as the elevator doors opened, I was staring into the face of none other than Marcus Ambrose.

He was there picking up Laney for lunch. We did a little dance trying to get off and on the elevator, and sheepishly said our goodbyes.

Once I got off the elevator, I walked through the crowded lobby out into the fresh air. I needed that after the last 45 minutes took me for a ride. Sandra was walking towards me from the cab. "What the hell took you so long Kam?" Sandra asked. "Get your butt over here, otherwise this cab ride will cost us about as much as we want to spend today."

"Sandra you will not believe who I just ran into and what I just heard. It was crazy up there for a bit. Tabatha told me about Laney being at the wine tasting with her fiance and her fiance turned out to be Marcus, who I saw at Stone Villa yesterday," I said in one breath.

"WHAT? Do we need to walk to get the whole story? Should we be shopping? Let's get out of the car, find a cafe, order heavily caffeinated drinks and talk about this. Driver please stop at the next cafe, Starbucks, whatever comes first," Sandra said.

"OMG do I need a latte with a shot of espresso," I said. "Sorry about the shopping San, I know you were looking forward to it. How about this weekend?"
"Honey, when you have gossip like this, shopping can wait. And besides, this way you have to buy me something in return for listening to your life story," Sandra said.

"Ma'am, I got you Starbucks; that's be $24.50 ladies," the cabbie said.

After talking to Sandra over our Starbucks lunch, I felt much better. What could I do about it anyway? I went back to the office and ducked into my office quickly, so nobody could see me. I needed to refresh and get this whole mess off my mind so I could do my work and get the hell out of here.

I turned on my monitor and noticed that I had received a new e-mail since this morning. It was from an unfamiliar address. I didn't have time to mess around with personal matters, and the subject line didn't seem very business-like: "What is Going on With You?"

I was about to crack a folder open to start research for the new company ad we just received moments ago when my phone rang.

"Kamron Smith," I said. "Hi Kam. What is going on with you?" Jim said.

I knew instantly that I could safely delete that e-mail because it was from Jim, "my office buddy" who was 2 offices down, but always decided to call me instead of dropping in to chat. "Jim, you realize that we are 2 offices apart and can just come in anytime. I don't think either of us have anything to hide."

"I know, the secret phone calls are just too thrilling to me though. Nobody knows who either of us are talking too," Jim breathed. "So what is wrong with you? I saw you this morning not looking so hot and really frazzled."

"Oh, Jim, why worry your pretty little head over these issues? You know you don't have to pretend to care right? It's only sex between us, not emotion," I said you under estimate me, Kammie. I care about you much more than you give me credit for. So what's up?" Jim was so convincing sometimes.

"You do not. Anyway, I just found out that my ex is marrying Laney Ridgeway and after a night of drinking too much at a wine tasting, I just wasn't ready for that." Why did I feel safe confiding in Jim? He was so easy to talk to.

"Well, you are better off without him, and she probably deserves him. You know, I heard that she isn't even sure who the father of her kid is? Okay, so let me take you out tonight and you'll forget all about what's-his-name?" Jim said.

"I can't possibly go out tonight, I feel like I've been hit with a garbage truck." I sighed. Jim was very firm in his reply. "Then I'm coming over and we'll order in and get cozy on your couch and watch a movie."

I agreed and hung up with Jim. Only three hours to go until our "date." Until then I needed to focus on this research project.

The afternoon seamed to drag on. Finally it was 4:50 and I shut down my computer and tidied up my desk. Just as I leave my office I catch a glimpse of Jim getting in the elevator. I decide to take the stairs. My Blackberry rings, it's Sandra. "Hey Kammie, do you want to grab a bite at the new Italian restaurant on Lincoln?" " Sorry hun, I just need to go to bed. How about tomorrow?" I know I should not have lied, but I don't want her to know about Jim just yet. "Oh, of course. I'll talk to you later." Sandra hung up. As I entered the parking garage noticed a letter tucked under my wiperblade.

"What was up with all of the notes and e-mails today," I said under my breath. The envelope was addressed to Kamren. Nobody who would tuck a letter under my wiper would call me Kamren. The note read:

I'm sorry for the awkwardness at your office today. I didn't think I would see you since I have been coming to pick up Laney every Monday for lunch since we've been together. I should've told you before you had to see us together or heard from someone else about us. P.S. was the wine really that good yesterday? I didn't think so, but we never could agree on much, could we? Cheers, Marcus.

Where does he get off ending his letter with a cutesy little comment like that, I thought. I threw the letter in the backseat as I turned the key to start my car. Speeding out of the parking garage, I finally see daylight. This afternoon was drab, perfectly matching my mood and look. Suddenly, Pearl Jam is blaring from my phone as it vibrates and rings.

"Hello?" I say. "Kamren, hi. How are you?" "I'm doing ok, but who is this?" "Oh, um, Marcus. I guess I thought you would remember my voice or still have my number programmed or something." "Oh, no. I just cleaned house when I got a new phone; I took out of the numbers that I don't use anymore," I said.

No, I took that out of my phone and my memory when you took out my heart you bastard, is what I really wanted to say.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" I sarcastically said. "I just wanted to call and make sure you were okay. You looked....well you looked miserable when those elevator doors opened up." "Gee, thanks. You sure know how to charm the ladies," I said ,while silently cursing life." "You were the best girlfriend," Marcus suddenly blurted out.

I was shocked and nearly hit one of those annoying bike messengers. The silence dragged on and I asked "Why are you telling me this now? It's been almost a year since you broke up with me."

"I - he truth is, I feel guilty. I still have dreams about you and in them you're always yelling at me and calling me a bastard. I know I really hurt you and you didn't deserve it one bit. I had some things I needed to get over in order to move on and I just wasn't ready to let go of them during our relationship. You were a fantastic girlfriend and I'm sorry I didn't trust you enough to give you everything I had."

I was shocked. There was not a single thought floating in my head for a good 10 seconds. I was finally hearing everything I had wanted to hear. Did I really want Marcus back? No, but it hurt so deeply when he ended it and despite all the "independent woman" messages we're barraged with every day, I felt like somehow I was to blame for how things ended up. What is it about matters of the heart that can take a perfectly confident woman and reduce her to a quivering, self-pitying, puddle?

"Kamren, are you still there?" Marcus stammered. "uuummm...yeah...I'm here." I took a deep breath and tried to pull myself together. Why!!! Why, why, why???? My head is racing with a zillion thoughts. "I don't know what you want me to say," I tell Marcus as I try and keep an eye on traffic as I inch along. Please I silently beg, please just let me get home. I am going to need a long hot bath to be able to deal with Jim. "I am not sure either..." Marcus sighs heavily.

"You called me and unloaded all this on me and you cannot even tell me why!!" Cause I am supposed to know how to fix everything!! Why do men do that? Why couldn't he have just stayed lost in my past??????

"Marcus, I appreciate your honesty, but I am finally moving on and I think it would be best for everyone involved, especially your fiance, if you just forgot my phone number like forgot yours. Good luck Marucs, and good bye."

I hung up the phone and felt a huge sense of relief - and surprisingly excited about my date with Jim!

Come Story Telling with me!!! The Completed Story

DearSugar — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 11:41:40 -0700

I hope you all enjoyed this new feature as much as I did! Your wild imaginations made for a great story line! To read the completed tale you all helped create, read more

"You're late again, Amanda. I have had it....How do you expect to keep your job here if you can't even come to work on time? What's your excuse now?" My boss was so irritated I could see the steam billowing out of his ears.

"I forgot my cell phone at home and I'd only realized after I got on the train. I'm sorry," I replied, lying through my teeth. I'd slept in again. I couldn't help that all I won't say you don't but I'm honestly just tired of hearing non-stop excuses. Your tears will not sway me this time. I mean it, you're gone." Jake turned away as if to dismiss me, but I stayed there, shocked, glued to my seat. What was I going to do? I was left with no choice but to pack up my personal items from my cubicle and go to HR for my exit interview. As I began to do this, my coworker Jennifer stopped by to see how last night had went. I said "Forget about last night, I just got fired." She was as shocked as I was. Within 10 minutes the office was abuzz about my firing. Between the time I gathered my items and got to Human Resources, my mind was already racing. I didn't care about the gossip, and the interview was the last of my worries. Jake's going to tell my mother, oh God... not my mother.

They had been dating for almost a year, and now he found it easier than ever to chastise me as if I was his own child. He's wrong in that though; I'm not his daughter, and I'm not a child. Damn Jake. I completed my exit interview, got in my car and forgot about stupid Jake, when my cell rang. It was my mother. "Darling?" she asked, "Is that you?" as if anyone else would answer my cell phone. "In the flesh" I say, as I merge onto the freeway. "Sweetie. is everything alright? I'm hearing disturbing tales about your work ethic." Oh how to answer. Disturbing was a word I reserved for things like May September romance between my boss and my mother, having a half sibling 24 years younger than me and phone calls where the caller pretends to know nothing about the events they are about to inquire about. "Mom. I've decided to liquidate some of my assets" I wonder if she'll get the jest of this, understand that it means her gravy train is about to come to an end when my call waiting beeps. "Mom, I've got someone on the other line, I have to go, I'll talk to you later," I say quickly before she has time to respond and click over. It's Rita, my best friend and self-professed mystic.

"Hey Rita," I said, trying to keep the mental exhaustion out of my voice "Oh my Gawd! What's wrong I dreamt you were pregnant," Rita replies anxiously. I'm sure she hopes I am so her predictions can finally be validated.

"I just got fired and I'm hungover," I whined. "Come over, have some coffee and food and I'll read your cards." "Coffee yes, food no, cards puh-lease," I said as I made my way to Rita's house and thought to myself.. damn.. I wish I hooked up last night - at least my firing would've been worth it! Then I think "Did I hook up with someone?" Suddenly I was lost. I had just "accidentally" hung up on my mother and lost a job. Did I just have a one-night stand last night that I could remember? I was lost in thought and suddenly I slammed my brakes before I hit the car in front of me. I made it safe to Rita's house however.

I knocked on Rita's screen door and she answered it in her usual Bohemian attire wearing a flowing purple paisley dress that billowed around her in the breeze. "Oh, you poor thing!" she said, enveloping me in a warm, earth-mother hug and the smell of patchouli. "Just come in and relax, and tell me all about it."
I followed her into the living room, and as she went into the kitchen to get me a cup of coffee, I sank wearily down onto her sofa. Suddenly, as I settled in among the pile of hand-crocheted cushions on the sofa, an image popped into my head from the previous night Flashes: a curly haired stranger, being led into a red convertible, coffee, sex. Yes, I indeed did get laid last night, and apparently the guy ran out on me in the morning. I wasn't sure whether I should be glad I broke my dry spell, or whether I should feel guilty, or whether I should be mad some guy dashed on me before I woke up.

Rita walked into the room with my coffee and looked down at me serenely. "You shouldn't be mad he dashed, Amanda. You woke up at 11 AM. He had to leave for work at 9." Rita had read my mind. Well damn... was he at least cute??" I asked disappointed. "more importantly.. did I get off???" "I think it's time you started to think about your priorities dear friend," Rita said, "what are you going to do now that you've lost your job?" I sat there staring at the opposite wall. It had escaped my mind. The first thought that hit me was that I'll just end up running to my mother to get me a new job.

Rita had her arms crossed and looked down on me with a disapproving face. She shook her head. "Why don't you just pursue your dream job?" she asked. I looked at her. "Do you think I can just get up and be a fashion designer? That's not exactly an easy career to get into. Plus, it's not like I know anyone who can help me out, and that's basically the only way I can get a job with a resume like mine." I was exasperated. This day felt like it was spiraling out of control, and the incense was giving me a migraine. She smiled at me and said "well think about it honey but I have an appointment with the cookey landlord, apparently she thinks spirits are following her...ugh." We mutually hugged and I headed out.

As I walked downstairs and out the building I took a second to look at my surroundings. My cute little convertible parked in front of me, the trees blowing in the summer breeze, I looked down at my feet to be reminded that I did have great taste in my Jimmy Choos. What was I thinking? I haven't got it that bad! That job wasn't me in any way! With a new outlook on life, I hopped in my car, top down, music blaring and headed to JoAnne Crafts. I'd heard somewhere that they sold sewing materials there. I didn't even know how to use one, but I knew if I hadn't one, I would never get anything done.

The store was huge and I felt overwhelmed. I decided to ask an associate for assistance and I felt nervous for the first time in a long while. I stuttered "I'm...looking...for...ah...sewing...machine," I said, looking at the associate in the eyes. "Sure," he responded with a smile and lead me to the aisle. The whole time I was walking behind him I couldn't help but think how familiar he looked with his brown curly hair. He looked almost like the guy from last night, who happens to walk out on me this morning. "Was I that bad?" I thought to myself.
"Here they are ma'am," he said, pointing at the shelves filed with an array selection of sewing machines from $25.00 to $150.00. He started to walked away, when I stopped him and asked, "Excuse me.. but um.. I know this sounds shady.. but don't I know u?" He smiled, chuckled actually, "Nah. Unless you were at from Canada? Because I just moved here about three days ago..." Hmmm odd, I thought to myself, this guy looked way too familiar. "Oh really! So how do you like it here so far?" I asked shyly and curiously. "Oh you know, its alright if your into the whole "Hollywood scene," my buddies took me out to some clubs last night...it was the first real night I actually did something here. I think it was called Hyde? I guess its some celeb hot spot...I don’t know."

In my mind, my jaw dropped, my eyes fell to the floor, and I melted to the ground as I realized I was at Hyde last night and it was definitely the one night stand/leave in the morning without a goodbye guy. Completely embarrassed I shriveled up and began backing away like a dog with a tail between its legs. "Ohh Hyde really?" I quickly said as I picked up the machine and began grabbing my money as fast as I could How could he not remember me?????? I hope he doesn't tell his friend he saw me int he middle of the day.. OMG OMG OMG.. OK. Get yourself together.

As I rush out of the store, I bump into Jake, my good-for-nothing boss. "Amanda," he said with a confused look on his face. "Jake," I said surprisingly loud. Jake and I gave each other an weird look, almost like we were shocked to have seen each other in the same place. "Your mother wants to know..." "I have to get going Jake," I interrupted him. I was not in the mood to be lectured at. As I got inside my red Volvo, I looked at rear view mirror and saw Jake starring back at me. I quickly turned my eyes away, thinking if only I could get him back
for all this. Then I had an idea which would work. I grabbed my cell phone and called my cousin Denna. She owed me a favor and was up on everything through last night. As I drove, I explained to her what I needed.

She would get my mom out of the house and I would leave the pix of Jake and Alan in bed together on her pillow; a sort of good night kiss for my own mommy dearest. I pulled up next to the bushes across the street from their house. The shadow hid me, and as I saw my mother leave, I made my way across the street and went in through the kitchen door which was never locked. Then I placed the pic on her pillow and went back to me car to wait. For some reason I couldn't leave until she came back, until i knew it was over.

About an hour and a half later, I started to feel really guilty. I mean I despise Jake but I love my mother. How is making her miserable going to make Jake miserable? Maybe if we go for a nice mother/daughter dinner I can convince to help me with my aspirations in fashion. I ran upstairs to remove the photo from her pillow when I heard the front door open. I "Hello, who's home?" yelled a booming male voice I didn't recognize at all. "Uh, it's Amanda, Sidney's daughter," I stammered back. "Who are you?" I asked, as I turned around to walk downstairs to confront the unexpected visitor. As I rounded the turn I saw my favorite uncle standing there with two suitcases, arms open.

"I know who you are," my uncle laughed, and enveloped me in his big bear hug." I squealed, "Uncle Mike! What are you doing here??" "Didn't your mom tell you? I'm in town for a couple weeks, and I planned a nice celebratory dinner tonight. I can't tell you what we're celebrating until tonight though!"

I thought to myself, "So that's what Jake was trying to tell me outside the fabric store." How was I going to get out of this now? I couldn't exactly go to dinner tonight after outing my Mom's boyfriend. It's a good thing I came back in for the pic. My uncle looked at me and asked if I was okay. "Oh yeah, I'm fine" I said. "Your mother told me you've been struggling to find the right career." Wow my mom was actually nice enough not to say I was fired. "Yeah, I really want to get into fashion designing, but I have no idea where to start" I said. Uncle Mike said "Well, I'm sure you will figure it out soon enough. I need to get my things put away and ready for dinner. Do you know when your mother will be home?" "No, sorry, I haven't talked to her today".

***

As Uncle Mike took center stage, the room feel silent. "I have come here to tell you all something incredibly exciting. I won the lottery!!!!! Since you are the only family I have, I am here to deliver a little token of appreciation -- a million dollars for each of you. Amanda, use this wisely -- looks like your going to need this money more than all of us after your day!"

You Asked: Should My One Night Stand Turn Into More?

DearSugar — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 13:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

Oh my, what have I done? I went to a new friend's house for a party this weekend. It was so much fun. I ended up getting pretty tipsy.

Her brother was flirting and dancing with me at the party. Long story short, we left at the same time and I ended up going to his house and spending the night with him!

This is the first time that I have ever had a "one night stand." I have never had casual sex with ANYONE (I'm in my 30s), always "boyfriends," so I have got some issues with a little guilt right now. I also got out of a long-term relationship late last year so I have not been with another man for quite some time. And, I left in the early morning without saying goodbye, just left a note and my number.

I would love to see him again, but I'm not sure what to do...wait for his call? Perhaps I should just take this as an empowering experience and move on? Also, I plan to not tell my friend a word...boys don't kiss and tell do they?

Please give this girl a little advice.

--A (one night) Stand Up Girl

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear A (one night) Stand Up Girl--

I know you must feel awful about what you did, considering you're usually "not that kind of girl," but don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes our emotions and desires can get the better of us, especially when alcohol gets thrown in the mix.

If this is a good friend of yours, I would advise you to tell her what happened. The chances are high that your secret will get out, so it would be best if she heard it from the horse's mouth if you will. Hopefully she will be understanding, and perhaps even excited about the possibility of you and her brother getting together.

Since you left without saying goodbye, chances are this guy doesn't think you're interested in him. Everyone has his or her personal views on one night stands, and if you don't want him to have the wrong impression of you based on this first encounter, I would take the initiative and give him a call. Be honest and explain how you feel about the situation in a light-hearted manner and apologize for sneaking out so early the next morning. I am sure he will understand how uncomfortable you felt.

It's okay to listen to the passionate voice inside yourself every once in a while (as long as you keep yourself safe). Don't get too hung up on the fact that you think you did something "wrong". If you don't want to be "that kind of girl" again, take this as a learning experience and be more cognitive of your actions, and perhaps even skip out on that last drink!

Source

Please Pass The Popcorn

DearSugar — Mon, 24 Apr 2006 10:16:20 -0700

Dear Sugar
My boyfriend and I date long distance. He's coming in next weekend and the forecast is calling for rain. I can't wait to snuggle up to him all weekend. What are a few good date movies we'll both enjoy? Film Aficionado

Dear Film Aficionado
I'll begin my recommendations by genre. 9 1/2 weeks is hot and sexy! Start with this one to get him in the mood for a weekend indoors. Wedding Crashers is a hysterical comedy that both sexes are sure to love. Even if you've already seen it, somehow more and more hidden jokes reveal themselves (call me kitty cat). Usual Suspects is both a great mystery movie. It happens to be one of my all-time favorites. Crash won movie of the year at the Oscars. It's a drama that you will be talking about well after you see it. Walk The Line is both a musical and a dramatic love story. Same as Moulin Rouge. If you are in the mood for something of a lesser blockbuster type, both March of The Penguins and Touching The Void are documentary survival stories. All are available on netflix , so get your order in ASAP. Enjoy.