TresSugar

Awkward! Not Sure About Inviting Boyfriend to Thanksgiving

TresSugar — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 07:00:00 -0800

Since the Holiday season can be rich with awkward moments, a friend of mine is trying to sort out a relationship dilemma before Thanksgiving arrives. Read her story, and see if you can offer her any advice.

"My boyfriend and I have been dating for about six months. Thanksgiving is coming up and I will be going to my parent's house, which is about two hours away from where I live now, for the weekend. Each year my extended family and I celebrate Thanksgiving at my aunt's house, which is right near my parent's. Since my boyfriend's family lives really far away, I would love to invite him to come. My only concern is that it might be overwhelming for him. He's met my parents when they came to visit, but this would involve staying at their house, not to mention meeting all my cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Then again, it seems like a natural step in our relationship. Should I ask him to come along, or is it putting too much pressure on him?"

(By the way - if you have some awkward tales of your own, join our Awkward! group to share etiquette questions and stories with other readers.)

Bad Relationship, Great Sex?

TresSugar — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:00:00 -0800

Is it possible to have great sex with someone you hate? That was the hot and heavy debate on last night's Parks and Recreation, when mustachioed Ron reunites with his ex-wife Tammy. The toxic couple can't talk without fighting - and the fighting inevitably leads to sex. Sex that Ron compares to "doing peyote and sneezing slowly for six hours."

Ron eventually learns that hooking up with a toxic ex can be a very bad idea: "It took years of intense, focused hatred to get over her, and now I've undone all that great work." Have you ever had amazing sex with someone you couldn't stand? Or hooked up with an ex only to discover it was a terrible idea?

Has Anybody Ever Told You You Were Mean?

TresSugar — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 09:00:00 -0700

I think most people think of themselves as nice, but we can all have a mean streak from time to time. When I was in high school, my best friend told me that her younger sister thought I was mean. I definitely wasn't the mean girl in school, but I guess I had treated my friend's freshman sister like an underling. It totally came as a shock to me, and since that day I've been more careful about coming off as unintentionally rude to other people. Has anyone ever accused you of being unkind?

You Asked: Why Hasn't He Closed His Online Dating Account?

DearSugar — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I have been dating someone for almost two months now, and I'm really starting to fall for him. He had a profile on an online dating website, but that wasn't how we met - he was someone from my past who reappeared on his own. In the almost two months we have been together, I have checked his profile and noticed that he has been on the website numerous times. I can't help but have hurt feelings that he hasn't closed his account. I just feel like if he were really into me, he would have changed his profile from single to in a relationship. Should I ask him to? Is he looking for other women? Are we on two different pages? I'm just so confused by this. - I'm Hurt Helen

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear I'm Hurt Helen,

I don't blame you for having hurt feelings by the fact that your boyfriend still claims to be single, which is why I advise you to broach the subject with him ASAP. It's easy to jump to conclusions here, but try not to assume the worst just yet.

Since you're having to snoop on him online, I have to ask you if there's something else going on here. Has he ever given you a reason not to trust him? Has his behavior toward you changed in any way? If so, I think it would be best to talk to him face to face about his feelings toward you before going behind his back any more. It's important to feel secure in your relationship, so hopefully a good heart to heart will set your mind at ease. Good luck.

Source

You Asked: How Can I Get Over My Mistake?

DearSugar — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 12:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I am having problems getting over my ex. We broke up a year ago, and I still hold on to serious feelings for him. We dated for nine months and we had a great relationship; he treated me incredibly well and was an amazing boyfriend. The problem was I always had another guy in the back of my head. I ended up kissing the other guy, and my boyfriend found out but decided to forgive me. We were OK at first, except every once in a while I would see the other guy and be confused again about my feelings.

To make a long story short, my boyfriend decided to end it with me. I realized after it was too late that this other guy meant nothing to me and that I truly loved and wanted to be with my boyfriend. We have been in and out of contact, but he refuses to give our relationship another try. I have learned from my mistakes and want to get back together more than anything in the world. I have apologized and done everything in my power over this year to prove to him that I am trustworthy, but he's not budging. Should I give up hope and move on? I just can't get over the fact that I was the one who did this and can't seem to fix it. - My Mistake Misty

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear My Mistake Misty,

Hindsight is always 20/20, but it unfortunately sounds like it's too late for you and your boyfriend. From what you're telling me, he put up with a lot in this relationship and quite frankly, I don't blame him for ending it - he probably felt like second best.

Telling your ex that you know you made a big mistake, that you still love him, and that you want to get back together with him is really the best you can do. If he's unwilling to even consider giving it another shot, persuading him otherwise will be close to impossible. Perhaps time will change his mind, but in the meantime, try to put this relationship behind you. If you two are meant to be together, you're paths will cross again in the future. Good luck to you.

Source

Where Do You Stand? Sharing a Toothbrush With Your Significant Other

DearSugar — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 06:00:00 -0800

A toothbrush is a very personal item, and the thought of sharing mine with someone else seems pretty disgusting. But when you think about it, you're swapping the same germs and saliva when making out with someone, so really, is there a difference? What do you think? Would you share a toothbrush with your significant other?

Source

Dear Poll: Do You Have Someone to Kiss at Midnight?

DearSugar — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Since it's pretty unlikely that any of us will be able to kiss our celebrity crush this New Year's Eve, I've got to ask, whether you're coupled up or not, do you have someone to kiss on New Year's Eve?

Source

You Asked: How Long Should I Wait Before Contacting Him?

DearSugar — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 12:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I met a guy in my office building a few weeks ago and after a little flirting, we decided to exchange numbers. We texted frequently and talked on the phone twice, but he didn't seem eager to meet up in person. I decided to move on and forget about him but the other day, out of the blue, he called me and ask me out for that evening. I went and we had a great time; it was a perfect first date. We've exchanged a few texts since then, (the date was Tuesday) so how long do I have to wait until I can contact him again? Or rather, should I wait until he asks me out on a second date? - What Are the Rules Rachel

To see DearSugar's answer read more.

Dear What Are the Rules Rachel,

Though I'm sure you've heard about the "rules of dating," they are different for everyone. Some women are comfortable being forward with men while others are more traditional in their dating practices. Since you've been in contact since the date, and since it went well, I'll bet it's just a matter of time before he asks you out again. If you're getting impatient, you can always take matters into your own hands and ask him out, but if you're not comfortable doing that, you're just going to have to wait it out. I know that's a frustrating answer, but only you really know how to proceed so follow your instincts and do whatever feels right in this specific situation. Good luck!

Source

Group Therapy: Is Commitment About Romance or Partnership?

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 04:00:00 -0800

I have recently started dating a guy that is seven years older than me. I am not so much physically attracted to him, but there are certain things I just love about him. He's a grown up, successful, well-educated, and wants to start a family soon. He treats me well and I think he would be a great father and husband. So does it matter that I don't get butterflies in my stomach when I'm with him? Should I pursue this relationship because it makes sense or wait for someone that makes my stomach turn? Puppy love and lust fade away eventually anyway, right?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Group Therapy: What Do I Need To Know Before Moving?

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 04:00:00 -0800

My boyfriend and I are seriously discussing moving in together. Our relationship has been a lot of work so far and we've had many ups and downs, but I really love him and he really loves me. He's started talking to his landlord and a few of his friends about finding affordable places nearby but I'm just writing in to see what kind of advice you all have for me because I've never lived with a boyfriend before. We've started discussing things that annoy us about each other and how we could avoid arguments about those things - I feel like that's helped ease my worries, but I was wondering if you have any warnings/advice before we take this big step.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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