TresSugar

Do Tell: Is There Something You Wish You Could Take Back?

DearSugar — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 14:22:15 -0700

When you're stressed out, tired, angry or sad, it's not uncommon to lash out at someone you love and say things you don't mean, but those words hurt even if they're said in the heat of the moment. I've definitely been guilty of this crime a few times before so if this sounds familiar to you too, tell me, is there something you wish you could take back that you said in a fit of rage?

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Do Tell: Are There Any Sexual Encounters You Regret?

DearSugar — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Sex can be a very impulsive act - I mean, that’s where some of the fun comes from - but that kind of passionate spontaneity can also lead to second-guessing later on. I’m a person who likes to believe that everything happens for a reason, and any mistake is just another lesson learned, but there are still things I regret. We can't take things back, but wouldn't it be nice if we could have a few "do-overs"? So ladies, do tell, which sexual encounters do you wish you could just delete from your permanent record?

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Have You Ever Regretted a Tattoo?

DearSugar — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Fifty-eight percent of you said you're are turned on by tattoos and although just as many women get them as men, a study published earlier this week concluded that women remove tattoos more often than men. The 2006 study in the Archives of Dermatology said:

Women also reported that they felt stigmatized by the tattoos. For example, 93 percent said having to hide the tattoos on occasion was a factor in the removal compared with 20 percent of men. About 40 percent of women endured negative comments at work, in public or in school compared with 5 percent of men.

Since laser tattoo removal is painful and expensive, tattoos should still be looked at as permanent. But for all you inked women out there, whether it's because you feel stigmatized or you've simply grown out of them, tell me, do you regret any of your tattoos? If so, have you, or would you consider removing them?

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Group Therapy: Relationship Sabotage

Wed, 28 May 2008 03:00:00 -0700

I was in a relationship with the most wonderful guy ever. He was cute, funny, smart, normal, and we pretty much had a great time together. He called when he said he would, took good care of me, never failed to tell me how amazing I was and how lucky he was to be with me.

We hardly ever fought and when we did, it was always about the same thing. I had issues with the fact that he had an ex-wife. We started dating only four months after she left him, and the divorce really hurt him. I always felt like he would never love me as much as he did her. What also bothered me a lot was that she had been terrible to him, but he loved her in spite of that.

In the end, my hang-ups and insecurities were too much for him, and he said I was never going to get over it, so he couldn't do it anymore - I agreed with him. I understand why he felt like that, but I'm having a hard time believing that he doesn't love me anymore. Now, three months later, I realize how wrong I was, and how much I miss him. I want to get him back, but I'm not sure it's possible. Can anything be done? Or is too late?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Dear Poll: Is There Anyone You Regret Not Hooking Up With?

DearSugar — Thu, 22 May 2008 15:00:00 -0700

The other night my girlfriends were trying to count how many past hookups they could preface with, "it seemed like a good idea at the time." It’s not that they regretted anything per se; it’s just that hindsight is 20/20!

In fact, their actual regrets seemed to be more about the people that they didn’t hook up with when they had the chance, rather than those they'd like to forget. I knew past relationships could carry their own regrets or nostalgia, but as it turns out, so can the relationships or makeout sessions that never were. So ladies, looking back, is there anyone you regret not hooking up with?

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You Asked: My Wedding Day Wasn't Perfect

DearSugar — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

I recently got married but I am having trouble getting over a couple of things that didn't happen at our wedding. We got married at a church on a military base. I had wanted so much to have the cross sabers (swords) as we walked out but it didn't happen. The guys that were supposed to do this were called to duty that weekend and they couldn't make it.

As we were about to enter the reception hall for the introduction, our photographer told us there was no DJ! We managed to find someone else and he followed our program but he didn't have a lot of experience. He was OK but I know the music could have been better.

Talking to my mother-in-law after didn't help either. She said if it weren't for her daughter singing, the wedding would have been a failure. Although I know these circumstances were beyond our control, but I feel as though we let our guests down. We didn't tell people what happened but when I heard comments I just swallowed hard. I feel a bit depressed sometimes and I hope this doesn't linger over me for a long time. Any advice?

--Let Down Donna

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear Let Down Donna--

I know your wedding day is supposed to be "The Greatest Day of Your Life," but you know what, I'd rather have an amazing marriage over a perfect wedding any day. Try and think about your life with your new husband and how happy you are to have found a loving, caring person to be with for the rest of your life. Your wedding was just a party to celebrate the beautiful connection you've made, so try and think about the deeper meaning.

With that said, I can completely understand why you could be feeling upset about things not turning out the way you had planned. Try looking over your photo album to relive the parts that were great. Have your friends over to reminisce about how funny it was to see your grandma dance with the best man, or how sappy your brother's speech was, and talk to your husband or your girlfriends about how you feel - getting your feelings off your chest is bound to help.

While things weren't necessarily perfect in your eyes, I am sure all your guests had a great time and were honored to be able to witness your happy day. I hope this helps and congrats!

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Do Tell: Is There Anything You Really Regret?

TresSugar — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 04:00:00 -0700

I stumbled upon the amazing confession site Isoregret.com and was moved, perturbed, and amused by the things people revealed they regretted in their lives.

From the admissions almost all of us can relate to ("I so regret fooling myself, and him, into thinking I loved him"), to the ones I hope none of us will never relate to ("I so regret ever marrying that douchebag of a man . . .and I also regret not killing him . . ."), these regrets are definitely compelling.

Is there anything you really regret in your life?

Regrets: The Dave Matthews Band

TresSugar — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 06:00:00 -0700

OK, I admit. I listened to Dave Matthews Band in the '90s - well into the '90s. Then I realized there was a whole world of music to be discovered and moved on. Yet every time I click through the Facebook pages of high school and college friends, I notice several have something in common: Dave Matthews is listed under their favorite music. I wonder about these friends. I wonder what they've listened to for the last decade. You can only replay Crash so many times before it's scratched!

So if one of my nostalgic friends woke up tomorrow, and let's say discovered Arcade Fire, they might share the regrets of this 30-year-old guy - too old to find a new band, too young not to have one. It's kind of like a relationship you stay in because it's there.

Skip the Pill: Some Young Women Want to Be Sterilized

TresSugar — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 14:00:00 -0700

Kerry Balley, 24, is regular woman who knows she never wants to have kids. In today's Daily Mail, Kerry reveals that she plans to be sterilized before her upcoming wedding. She writes:

I can't bear the thought of being tied down, a dependable mother and stable. I admire women who do it, but I've come to terms with the fact that it's just not who I am and I would be completely hopeless at it, not to mention resentful. It's not really a decision I've made, I just know.

There is debate about whether women of a certain age, like Kerry, should be denied permanent sterilization. While some argue that healthcare providers should not help a younger woman do something irreversible that she might later regret, others, like the International Planed Parenthood Federation, say that each woman, regardless of age, should be able to decide whether or not she wants children.

Do you think there should be a minimum age requirement for irreversible procedures like sterilization?

Group Therapy: I'm a Newlywed but I Regret Saying I Do

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 04:00:00 -0800

I recently met this great guy at a wedding and I am really attracted to him - the problem is that we met at my wedding! He is my new husband's cousin. After our honeymoon, we had a welcome home party with family and close friends. Everyone got drunk and I ended up kissing him. We have been in contact ever since and have been meeting for lunch and getting together after work. Please help - I've only been married for three months and I'm already regretting it!

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be read more GROUP THERAPY, click here or submit your own
question here.]
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