TresSugar

Are You Into Quickies?

DearSugar — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 08:00:00 -0700

I love the idea of a quick romp between the sheets. An impromptu noon-er with your man sounds pretty spontaneous, exciting, sexy, and hot, doesn't it?

The only thing is that a guy can usually orgasm in three minutes or less, especially when he's super-excited, but it can take a girl much longer to climax. There is no foreplay when it comes to quickies, just pure fast, passionate lustful sex. So there may not be a huge explosive bang at the end for the girl, but who cares? They're still fun!

What do you think about quickies? Are you into them, or are you more into slow lovemaking sessions instead? Do you have any memorable quickie experiences you want to share? I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that we'd love to live vicariously through you!

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Where Do You Stand? Quickies

DearSugar — Mon, 19 May 2008 07:54:48 -0700

Quickies can be great fun, especially when some serious passion strikes or you're just too busy to fit in a lengthier lovemaking session. However, the problem with a quick romp is that it makes little to no room for foreplay, which can often be the most important part of a satisfying sexual encounter.

Some would say that a quickie is great in theory but, in reality, leaves something to be desired. But what do you think? Is it a great way to fit in a much-needed intimate moment, or is it a sore substitute for some serious sex? When it comes to quickies, where do you stand?

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A Do or a Don't: Quickie Marriages

DearSugar — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:00:00 -0700

Getting engaged and committing to spend the rest of your life with someone is a decision that should not be made hastily. Usually couples take baby steps - date for a while, move in together, get engaged, and then get married - but not everyone follows those unwritten rules. Some couples move quickly and marry after only months! Personally, I think it's best to really get to know someone before taking the trip down the a
aisle, but to each their own. So what do you think? Are quickie engagements/marriages a do or a don't in your book?

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Meet Matchmaker Amy Andersen, Part II

TresSugar — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 09:10:00 -0700

Yesterday I shared part one of my interview with Amy Andersen, a high-end matchmaker who works with 800 successful singles. Amy tries to bring together young professionals who are interested in finding like-minded, quality matches - all for a price, of course; specifically, her rate is $6,000 for eight matches. In today's installment, Amy talks about modern dating and traditional gender roles.

Is traditional dating on the way to becoming obsolete thanks to the more casual hookup?

Amy Andersen: I think the causal hookup is fine when you are in your early to mid-20s, but for anyone who has chosen a career path that is more rooted in academia and a solid professional track, they crave dating through a more traditional and old world experience.

To be honest, tons of women get sick of guys who are forgetful or, frankly, who have become terribly spoiled and too lazy to show their dates what it means to be a gentleman. My clients are absolutely relieved to hear that this network adheres to a very old world approach, one with manners and chivalry. For the men, this means opening doors, being complimentary to their dates, not expecting that they will come upstairs for a quickie at the end of the night, instead looking forward to a kiss on the cheek. For our female clients, this means allowing oneself to embrace their femininity, take a deep breath, relax, allow the man to "be the man" and the woman to "be a woman."

To find out if all of Amy's clients are into this approach, and to see what exactly Amy means by "being a woman," read more.

Are all your clients into this approach?

AA: We find that it is a common misconception that a woman who is high-powered, extremely well educated, and attractive cannot accentuate her femininity on a date or in life without undermining her business acumen and strengths. Instead both can balance one another and be complementary, not the opposite. Another great reason why it is so fabulous to be a woman!

What does it mean exactly for a man to be a man?

AA: For a man to be a man, it means taking the lead when dating. It means allowing him to be a gentleman and not "castrating" him because he is trying to be chivalrous. It means allowing him to open the doors, walk on the outside of the street, to suggest a wine he likes at dinner that he thinks his date will like, to let him feel special on the date. Men want to feel useful and that they will be a provider for their ultimate mate, so sometimes when women are so used to be overly independent, men will wonder, "Where do I fit into this picture?"

And what does it mean for a woman to be a woman?

AA: Although she might be in control in every aspect of her life, it means being gracious, ladylike, exuding her femininity, and not taking the reins on the date as she might be used to in her work life. It means talking about things other than work, it means flirting, being silly at times, and not being so serious. It means putting on a skirt or dress, wearing a little lip gloss, and being thankful for being a woman. I’m not suggesting that a woman should be submissive or not use her mind; it is quite the opposite. Our guys in Linx crave cerebral and opinionated women, but she should let her date feel that he is worthy and attractive.

What do you make of Amy's thoughts on gender roles? Stay tuned to find out what Amy has to say about her female clients and the best way to meet a guy.

Blago Haircare Products: Funny or Lame?

TresSugar — Mon, 18 May 2009 15:00:00 -0700

Disgraced former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich seems to have spent more time obsessing about his hair than his ethical behavior or political reputation. So the makers of Blago Hair have attempted to cash in on his hair obsession with a volumizing shampoo and conditioner. Given how brief his notoriety, and how unappealing a character he was, I think a quickie t-shirt would have made more sense. What do you think - are Blago haircare products funny or lame?

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Do Tell: What's Your Ideal Engagement Length?

DearSugar — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 13:30:00 -0700

There are no rules when it comes to getting married - some couples elope, some have quickie engagements, and others revel in engagement bliss and take their time before walking down the isle. Different things work for different couples, but I'm curious to know what your ideal engagement length would be, so do tell!

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True Confession - I Miss My Ex

DearSugar — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 06:00:00 -0800

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession.

"I had a sex dream about my ex-husband last night. He's better in bed than my current husband, but that's the only thing I miss about him. After four years being apart, I can still remember how it felt to have his hands caress my body and I miss it. He was more romantic and the sex was better and more frequent. Now I'm with a man who is OK with just a quickie once a month. I love him, but I feel like I went from one end of the spectrum to the other - I miss my ex."

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9 People You May Not Want to Have Sex With

DearSugar — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800

If you really like someone and the chemistry's there, the passion between you could easily lead into the bedroom. Although the person you're into may be great on dates, he may not be so great under the sheets. According to Holy Taco, you might want to look out for these types of people - they're sure to kill the mood:

The Over-Attentive Waiter
He Who Keeps Cats in the Room
The Guy That Answers Rhetorical Dirty Talk Questions With Serious Responses
The Person Who Doesn’t Turn Off Their Cell Phone
The Screamer
The Guy Who Learned All His Bedroom Moves From Early ‘90s Slow Jams
The Cryer
Mr. Hold on Let Me Put on This Dave Matthews Album
Mr. I Go Straight For the Vagina

If you're interested in seeing the explanation of each one, then check out holytaco.com.

This list is great, but if you want to see who is on my list of people you probably want to avoid, read more.

The Licker: Yes, using your tongue can be very sexy - when used in certain places or sparingly - but it's overkill when a guy thinks licking your entire body is sexy.
The Guy Who Shares a Room With Mr. Inconsiderate: I don't have a problem with a guy who has a roommate; it's the guy whose roommate doesn't respect his privacy that gets me every time.
The Home-Runner: This guy is all about going straight for intercourse. Sometimes a passionate quickie is great, but not all the time - don't ignore the foreplay!
The Slobbery Kisser: Need I explain this one?
The Boob-Lover: Sure, a girl wants a guy to think her body is hot, but it can be a total turn-off for a guy to obsess over just one part.
The Guy Who Refuses to Wear a Condom: If you use condoms either to prevent pregnancy or to prevent the spread of STIs, there's absolutely no excuse for a guy who won't put one on.
The Critic: A little direction can be a good thing sometimes, but when a guy is constantly telling you what to do or what you're doing wrong, it can make for an unpleasant time in the sack.
The Bad Listener: Sometimes it's the other way around and you need to give a guy some gentle verbal cues as to what you want him to do, or where you want him to touch you. It's no fun to be with a guy who ignores you completely and thinks he knows what you want.

If you can think of anyone else you probably don't want to sleep with, share your thoughts in the comment section below.

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You Asked: Sex Lasts Five Minutes or Less!

DearSugar — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 16:29:50 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I love my boyfriend more than anything, but our sex life kind of stinks. I mean every time we do it, it's over in like five minutes (and that's on a good day). Sometimes he orgasms in less than that and it leaves me completely unsatisfied. He doesn't get the point that it takes me a little longer to get into the mood. I don't know how to tell him that I want a little more excitement without hurting his ego. How can I get him to last longer?

-Not Into Quickies Kimra

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more

Dear Not Into Quickies Kimra,

You have just described the number one problem that 99% of women have (this number isn't based on any actual studies, but I'm pretty sure it's accurate based on what all my female friends say). Sex just doesn't really work out between guys and girls the way we imagine it should because like you said, women take a while to get into the mood and reach an orgasm. When it comes to women, you've got to preheat the oven before you bake a pie, so to speak.

Women aren't having nearly as many orgasms as we should for two reasons. One, guys think they're awesome and that whatever they're doing is great because two, women don't tell their guys what they need or like. I bet there's nothing in this world your man wants to do more than to please you, so just talk to him about it, and suggest spending more time on foreplay. He's got to put in the effort to satisfy you in every way or else this relationship is going to fail.

Be sensitive on how you approach the subject. You can damage your man's ego if you insult him or point out what he's doing wrong. Instead, tell your man what you do like, and ask if he could do more of that (like when he kisses your neck or talks dirty). You can also mention new things you'd like to do with him, like give each other back massages or listen to music to get you in the mood. Using a condom might also decrease his sensitivity and make him last longer, so have him slip one of those on. Suggest you take things slower, and choose positions that work for you. Have fun practicing these new techniques!

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GiggleSugar Best Pics of the Week

GiggleSugar — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 04:00:00 -0700

This week in pics brought sexy back. Well, kinda. Frolicking with a stripper in front of your toddler ain't all that sexy, but a dentist who knows how to work "it" (his drill, of course) is! Check out the slideshow for a quickie recap of this week in pics.

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