TresSugar

Where Do You Stand? Kissing and Telling

DearSugar — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 11:00:00 -0800

Our resident bachelor has narrowed it down to two final girls, but before we get to see who he picks as his future wife, we got to hear Jason wrap with Chris Harrison about what really went down behind the scenes this season. This tell-all episode also gives the women a chance to clear the air and ask Jason all their unanswered questions, but the real juicy part was Jason kissing and telling!

Though the girls signed up for their relationship to be out there for the world to see, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was one of them listening to Jason air our dirty laundry, so to speak. Clearly I'm not a big fan of kissing and telling, but tell me, where do you stand on the notion of sharing relationship details?

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Tough Question No. 2: What Are You Doing With Your Life?

DearSugar — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 09:30:00 -0800

Many of us have felt the effects of the worsening economy, so if you've lost your job as a result, I bet one of the questions you'll be asked this Thanksgiving will be what you're planning on doing now. Not only can that question be invasive, but it can end up making you feel even worse about your situation than you already do. To see my suggestions on how to answer that uncomfortable question, read more.

If you are in fact unemployed, as annoying as it may be to talk about (let alone think about), it's always a good idea to let as many people as you can know that you're looking for a job. They could be privy to an opportunity or they might be able to point you in the right direction.
Know that you don't have to have an answer to this question, and if you don't, be honest and say just that - sometimes change takes a little soul searching.
If your family members keep at you, politely ask them to back off. Tell them that you don't have all the answers right now but when you do, you'll be the first one to let them know!
Use interviewing as a distraction, or tell them you're researching new careers. Sometimes all they really want to know is that you're actively looking for a new job.

Have any of you had to answer a question similar to this one? If so, what approach did you use?

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You Asked: What's Wrong With Me?

DearSugar — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I've been dating this great man for six months, and fell in love almost overnight. We are both divorcees who have been through a lot in our past. I am not looking to get married again, at least not yet, and he says he never wants to marry again. Sure, sounds like we are on the same page right? Well we're not. I want him to WANT to marry me! What's wrong with me? I love having sex; he is happy with once a week! I want to be with him everyday; he's happy seeing me every other day! What's wrong with me? One minute I think it's time to call it quits, and then I can't imagine my life without him. I love him, and I know he loves me, but why am I always questioning this relationship? What's wrong with me? - Always Questioning Alyssa

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more

Dear Always Questioning Alyssa,

I don't think there is anything wrong with you, but something tells me you had a power struggle in a previous relationship or in your marriage. The fact that you don't want to get married but you want him to want to marry you makes me think you aren't as secure in this relationship as you think you are.

It's pretty clear that you have different expectations about this relationship, so be sure to talk to him and let him know what you need in order to make you happy. If you need more time with him, tell him that. If you need more sex, tell him that too. The only way to have a healthy relationship where both parties are happy, is to be honest with your partner and most importantly, with yourself.

Only you can answer the question of why you are doubting this relationship but could it be that you're simply not ready to be committed to someone? Or perhaps deep down you know this man isn't the one for you? Six months is not that long to be with someone, so you very well might come to the realization that you are simply not a compatible match. I wish you luck, Alyssa.

Tough Question No. 1: Why Aren't You Dating?

DearSugar — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 06:00:00 -0800

A common fear many women have as Thanksgiving approaches is how to answer those intrusive, uncomfortable, and sometimes rude questions by family members or old acquaintances. To help get you prepared for turkey day, I'm here to offer my suggestions for how to respond to the line of questioning most everyone gets this time of year. Let's start with question number one: Why aren't you dating?

To see my answers, read more.

Even if you don't know the answer to this question yourself, fake it. Exude confidence and respond with either of these:
I just haven't found that special someone yet. Honest and straight to the point.

I am dating, just not dating anyone seriously, that's all! This lets them know you're not lonely, but also makes it clear that they won't be meeting him (or them!) anytime soon.

If you want the questioning to end ASAP, you can take a more aggressive approach and fib with either of these two statements:
My boyfriend and I just broke up and it's really hard to talk about. If they keep prying, ask them if you can please change the subject.

I'm taking a hiatus from men until after the holidays. This will let them know not to ask you the same question when you see them at Christmas!

If you've ever been in a similar situation, tell us, how do you answer the question, "Why aren't you dating?"?

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Tough Question No. 3: When Are You Getting Engaged?

DearSugar — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800

If you're dating and you have a job, don't think that you're exempt from the line of questioning at Thanksgiving - getting engaged is of course the next one! Some women enjoy just dating their significant other, but if you're actually waiting for a ring yourself, this question could hit a nerve. To see my suggestions on how to answer tough question number three, just read more.

If you're simply not ready to take that next step in your relationship, tell whoever is asking that you're just enjoying being together for now. Reiterate that you're not in a rush to get hitched and hopefully they'll back off.
Blame your youth. Tell them you feel too young and don't feel the need to be married just yet.
If you are ready for an engagement yourself, take a cheeky approach and say something like, "I've been asking myself the same question" or "I'm not sure, but if you find out when, let me know!" If you take the pressure off with humor, it'll make talking about it a lot easier.

If you're in a similar boat this year, tell us, how do you plan on answering this tough question?

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Tough Question No. 4: When Are You Going to Start a Family?

DearSugar — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800

Is it just me or do most parents crave grandchildren? If you're married or at a point in your life where a baby makes sense, chances are your family will start prying this Thanksgiving. Having kids is a very personal decision, but loved ones certainly know how to lay on the pressure, so check out my tips on how to answer tough question number four! Click here to read more.

If you're not ready to be with child, the state of our economy is a great excuse. Tell your inquisitive family members that you're waiting until things get more stable before trying.
If kids are in your future, reassure them that you're going to start a family eventually, but you want to enjoy the freedom of being childless for a little longer - they've got to understand that!
If you're actively trying but have yet to conceive, don't let them in on your secret because they'll just continue to ask the same question until they get the answer they're looking for. Dodge it completely and tell them you're thinking about trying in the next year - that will buy you some time.
If you're newly pregnant but not ready to tell anyone yet, get ready to deliver an Oscar-worthy performance!

For those of you who've had to answer this question before, what route worked best for you?

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Tough Question No. 5: Have You Lost/Gained Some Weight?

DearSugar — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800

Weight is one of those topics that makes almost everyone feel uncomfortable. Calling out a person's weight gain or loss not only puts them on the spot, but it can easily do a number on their self-esteem. If Thanksgiving is the holiday that brings your family together, chances are you'll be seeing some relatives you haven't seen for a while, so if they comment on your weight, here are some ways to hold your own.

To see my responses for tough question number five, read more.

Looks are an easy thing to zero in on if you haven't seen someone in a long time, and most people tend to comment on weight. If it's not something you want to discuss, acknowledge their comments and quickly move the conversation along.
Weight fluctuation has a lot to do with diet and exercise, but personal issues can be another trigger. If someone comments on your noticeable weight loss, be short and say something like, "Yes, I guess I have lost a few pounds. It's been a very stressful Fall but I'm really looking forward to a great Thanksgiving dinner!" If you leave it at that, they shouldn't fish for any more details.
If you've admittedly gained a few pounds - 'tis the season! - and a relative approaches you about it, address it in a cheeky manner. Say something like, "Yes, I've been slacking a little, but now there's just more of me to love!" or "I'm embracing the holidays, Aunt Jessie - by Easter I'll be as slender as can be!"
If you've struggled with your weight, but you're finally where you want to be, take the compliments you're given this Thanksgiving. If you've worked hard to get back into your skinny jeans, be proud of yourself; reaching your goal weight is no small feat!

Have any of you had to face weight questions like this? If so, how did you handle it?

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Do Tell: What's the Stupidest Question You've Ever Asked or Been Asked?

DearSugar — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 07:00:00 -0700

Today is "stupid question day.” Some people say "there is no such thing as a stupid question" and while I would like to agree, let's be honest, sure there is!! I know I have asked my fair share of them, so ladies, do tell, what is the stupidest question you've ever asked someone, and, what's the stupidest question you've ever been asked?

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Be Prepared to Answer Those Tough Questions Tomorrow!

DearSugar — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800

If there's a chance you'll be put on the spot tomorrow at your Thanksgiving dinner, make sure you're prepared to answer those tough questions your bold relatives just love to ask. I hope this helps! Source

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Yahoo Answers Just Raising More Questions

GiggleSugar — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Do you have to be batsh*t insane to ask Yahoo Answers a question? Just curious.

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