TresSugar

Where Do You Stand? Dating Someone Who Has Popped the Question Three Different Times

DearSugar — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 06:00:00 -0800

Now that The Bachelor has finally come to an end, we know the truth behind all the rumors. You've made your opinions about him very clear, but I'm curious to know something else - how you feel about dating someone who has popped the question three different times already! Yes, each situation in Jason's circumstance brought different challenges, but I've got to say, I'd be pretty wary to get involved with someone who can't seem to commit - for whatever reason. Do you agree? Tell me ladies, where do you stand on dating someone who has popped the question three times, to three different women?

A Do or a Don't: Proposing on Valentine's Day

DearSugar — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 15:00:00 -0800

Since Valentine's Day has forever been associated with love and romance, it's become a popular day for couples to take their relationship to the next level. But since this day has become such a Hallmark holiday, popping the question on Feb. 14 just seems a wee bit cliche if you ask me. I could be alone on this one so tell me, is proposing on Valentine's Day a do or a don't?

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Ladies, It's Time to Pop the Question!

DearSugar — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 07:00:00 -0800

Supposedly an old British custom had it that women were allowed to propose on leap year day, today, February 29, and their object of affection wasn't allowed to turn to them down! Obviously in contemporary society, there are no written rules about female marriage proposals; however, while there are many notions of romance that have become somewhat old-fashioned in our culture, like saving ourselves for marriage, society still seems to think that it should be the man who gets down on bended knee.

Sure, there are many couples that reach a mutual decision on marriage, but when you hear about those grand or endearingly thoughtful proposals, it always seems to be the man’s doing. I want to know why ladies don’t plan romantic proposals for their guys. Or do they? Do you think that the male-only proposal is outdated? Would you ever be the one to pop the question?

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Sunday Confessional: My Boyfriend's Proposal Sucked

DearSugar — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 09:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

In the past few weeks, things have been a little weird with me and my boyfriend. We're very much in love, have been together over six years, and we have a house together. We've talked about getting married, but haven't made it official yet (we're not engaged). He's been acting really distant and depressed lately because he hates living in Florida. He says it's way too hot and he misses winters up north.

Last week he got a work promotion, but the job is in upstate New York. He asked if I would go with him, but I told him I wasn't sure. I love the warm weather and being close to my friends and family, plus I'm finishing up grad school and can't really pick up and leave. I was also straightforward and said I'd never move anywhere with someone who wasn't committed to me. He said he was committed to me, and I said I'd only move if we were engaged.

So right then and there, he got down on one knee, told me he loved me and asked me to marry him. I couldn't believe it. I was shocked, and not in a happy way. I felt like he was being selfish in a way, and that he only proposed because he wanted me to move with him. It wasn't the heartfelt, romantic proposal I had always dreamed of. I cried, and said that I wasn't going to answer him until he asked me properly. Should I forgive him for his crappy proposal, or is this a sign that things just aren't meant to be?

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Sunday Confessional: I Accidentally Found My Engagement Ring

DearSugar — Sun, 30 Sep 2007 09:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

Last weekend my boyfriend planned a trip to New York for our 4 year anniversary. He got us an expensive hotel and tickets to a Broadway show. I was thrilled to get away and do something special with him.

We had a great time enjoying the day on Saturday, then we went back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. He took a shower after me and I went into his suitcase to get his camera so I could take a picture of the view from our window. As I was digging through his clothes, I found a small box. I was in shock and thought for sure it was an engagement ring, but couldn't bare to open it for fear that it was something else.

I knew I couldn't keep this a secret because I'd be thinking about it all weekend, wondering if he was going to pop the question, and if he did, I wouldn't be able to pretend that I was surprised. But then I thought, what if he didn't propose, and chickened out of it?. Then again, what if it was just earrings or a necklace? Ugg, see what I mean??

I felt like knowing about that box was like lying to him, so I had to be honest. When he came out of the shower, I handed him the box and said "I found this." He was totally crushed. He grabbed the box out of my hand, opened it, got on one knee and proposed. Of course I said yes and we hugged and went out to dinner, but later that night he said, "Why didn't you just pretend you didn't see it? I really wanted to surprise you and you ruined it. This was supposed to be such a special moment and it wasn't."

I really couldn't have kept that secret to myself and I thought he'd appreciate me being straightforward. I really didn't think he'd be this upset since the bottom line is that we're engaged now. It's been a couple weeks now and he's still so torn up about it. Do you think this is forgivable?

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Would You Propose to Him?

DearSugar — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:00:00 -0700

A few weeks ago, I was talking to my yoga instructor after class. We were chatting about relationships and such, and somehow it came up that she proposed to her boyfriend (now husband). She said that she loved him deeply and was ready to be engaged but didn't want to wait around for him to pop the question so she just did it.

I thought her story was really amazing and it made me realize just how much times have changed for women. We now have well-paying jobs, professional careers, we can run for President, and do just about everything men can do (except pee standing up), so why shouldn't we propose?

I happen to be very traditional when it comes to getting married so I wouldn't be the one to propose in my relationship, but what do you think? Would you ever propose to your man? Or do you think it's the guy's job to get down on bended knee?

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Are Video Proposals Online Cowardly or Cute?

TresSugar — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:00:42 -0800

Last night Tumblr users signed on to see "Marissa Nystrom, will you marry me?" bannered across their dashboards, whether or not they followed proposer Justin Johnson's blog. The link goes to this genuinely thoughtful, romantic, and well-edited video, but I presume his girlfriend follows his blog. So the only reason I can see to link the video to the world is to consummate its place in the controversial genre of public marriage proposals.

Public proposals seem unabashedly confident at first, but only the most heartless, unafraid-to-make-a-scene askee would say no. Put it on video and not only is he not asking her in person, but he's putting pressure on her to say yes in front of the largest stage of all. And when it's online, you can't leave your audience behind.

Tom Brady's Super Bowl Wedding Proposal

GiggleSugar — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 09:00:33 -0700

Now this is bold. Never mind his marriage to Gisele or baby mama drama with Bridget Moynahan. This enthusiastic football fan has a marriage proposal for Tom Brady. What does she have that Gisele doesn't? A great smile and a ready-made wedding ensemble. Tom says no, but don't worry: she has a plan B.

Public Marriage Proposal Rejected - What Would You Do?

TresSugar — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 11:00:41 -0700

There's always a risk involved in a marriage proposal - she (or he) could say no! But a person heightens that risk when he decides on a public proposal. Yesterday on Australian national television, a man surprised his girlfriend of three years and proposed to her on stage. Sweet huh? Not really, considering that she ran off stage crying! Maybe this is why men are as afraid of proposing marriage as they are of sharks.

This clip, if it wasn't staged, is so heartbreaking! What would you do if you were the girlfriend? Say yes and dump him later (and in private), or turn him down in front of everyone?

Now This Is What I Call a Public Marriage Proposal!

TresSugar — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 02:00:00 -0700

Remember playing the game "telephone" as a child? You whisper something to the person next to you who whispers it to the person next to them, and then by the time it reached the last person, the message was totally distorted. Here's an adult version, with an adult outcome. 59 people repeat a message one man sends to his ultimate recipient - the woman he wants to marry.

Public proposals often seem staged or end unhappily, but this whisper campaign, though it takes a while to complete, has a happy ending and was surprisingly moving to me. Hooray for the happy couple!