TresSugar

Tech Dating 101: Using Your Phone While on a Date

DearSugar — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 11:42:02 -0700

Sometimes we all need a little help navigating the choppy waters of dating when tech gets tossed into the mix, which is why geeksugar and I have teamed up for another installment of Tech Dating 101. Last week, we talked about canceling a date via text, and this week we're discussing whether or not texting and making calls during your date is acceptable dinner etiquette.

Can I text and make phone calls during a date without being rude?

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

I'll make this one simple. Using your phone while you're on a date is rude - period. A date should be about you and the person you're with, trying to get to know one another, enjoying your time together, and most importantly, not worrying about what your friends are doing or who is trying to get in touch with you.

If you're on a date with your long-term boyfriend or your husband, my opinion is a little different, especially if you have kids. While I think having chats at the dinner table is still impolite, I do think checking to see who is calling or reading a text is acceptable if you're trying to make plans with other couples or if you're calling to check in with the babysitter, but taking it any further is still a no-no in my book.

However, if you're on a blind date and you think there's a chance you'll need to make a quick escape, by all means keep that phone on the table for your "emergency call" from your best friend!

To see what my girl geek has to say, be sure to click here!

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Dear Poll: Do You Always Pick Up When Your Significant Other Calls?

DearSugar — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 13:30:00 -0700

Whether you're a phone person or not, there are usually certain calls you take no matter what. Maybe it's your mom, your sister, or your best friend, but I'm curious to know how many of you always pick up when it's your significant other calling!

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Relationship Protocol: Are You Always in Touch?

DearSugar — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 21:13:40 -0800

Even if they're living under the same roof or have plans to meet up after work, I know many couples that still touch base multiple times throughout the day. I think it's really sweet, but communication overload can be irritating for friends and co-workers when the incessant phone calls become disruptive. When I'm in a relationship, I like to share all the excitement of my day with him in person, but what about you? Are you and your significant other in touch throughout the day? And if so, how often do you typically talk?

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Dear Poll: Are You Good at Returning Phone Calls?

DearSugar — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Many of you are not a fan of the phone unless it’s to talk to someone who you couldn’t otherwise. Even though it’s less personal, I agree that something about talking on the phone can seem a bit intimidating and awkward. Unfortunately, you really can’t escape it, especially since other people may not feel the same way you do. Since I know punctuality and follow-through matter to all of you, tell me, are you good about calling someone back?

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Do Tell: Why Didn't He Call?

DearSugar — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Last night I was catching up with a girlfriend and our conversation went straight to her date from the previous week. They went out on Thursday night, had a great time, and kissed goodnight, but as of Monday, she still hadn't heard from him. After lamenting for a while, the inevitable question was asked: why didn't he call? Not only do I get asked this time and time again, but it's a simple question I ask my friends, too. Yet every time we all come up short. Who knows why he didn't call - it could be because he's busy or simply because he's not interested, but either way, no answer is good enough therefore the question remains. Does this pattern sound familiar? It's one of the most frustrating questions to ask and to answer, but do tell, do you do it anyway?

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You Asked: He Hasn't Called!

DearSugar — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I have been hanging out with this guy for over seven months - I am 28 and he is 37. We normally talk every day and see each other twice a week. I recently got a divorce and he was hurt very badly in a past relationship so neither one of us are looking for anything too serious, although we have had sex which I guess developed some type of closeness.

Last Sunday we spoke briefly and his phone dropped the call. When he called me back, I couldn't talk (I was on the way to the airport) and to make a long story short, we haven't talked since. He's mentioned to me that when he has a lot of his mind, he doesn't like being bothered by anybody so I wasn't sure if this was one of those times or if he is just blowing me off. It's been over a week so what gives? Has he lost interest? Is he mad at me? Should I call him or should I just forget about him altogether? -Neglected Natasha

To see DearSugar's answer read more.

Dear Neglected Natasha,

When it comes to talking on the phone, guys and girls couldn't be more different. Though this is a generalization, women are "talkers" whereas men simply use their phone to make plans or coordinate dates. Since he's stated before that he needs his space sometimes, perhaps that's exactly what he's doing now. However, if you're not calling him just because he's not calling you then this cat and mouse game could go on forever and reach the point of no return.

If you care about this guy and want to continue your relationship, I'd pick up the phone and call him - what do you have to lose? If you don't reach him and he doesn't call you back then you might be right - he could be blowing you off. Of course, it would be ideal if he were to call you, but instead of sitting around and playing guessing games, I say step to the plate and make the call - you'll never know the outcome unless you try. Good luck!

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Handle This: Your Friend Harassed Your Ex

DearSugar — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 09:00:00 -0800

After a terrible break-up, one that lasted months and involved a lot of mixed signals from your ex, your friends decide to take you out to celebrate your newly single status. In your less than sober state, you end up spilling the grittiest details to your friends about all the not-so-nice things he said and did. Before you know it, one of your girlfriends has made off with your cell phone to give your ex a piece of her mind.

By the time you've found her, it's too late, the damage is already done - she's no longer talking and you gather it wasn't a friendly good-bye. It's not that your ex doesn't deserve a tongue lashing, but you couldn't think of a more negative way for it to reflect on you. You're furious with your friend. You don't know whether to yell at her and call your ex up to apologize or just leave it be, so ladies, tell me, how would you handle this?

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DearSugar Needs Your Help: Why Isn't He Calling?

DearSugar — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 09:00:00 -0700

DearSugar and Bewildered Bethany need your help. I think we have all been there: the guy you have a crush on doesn't call even through he acts like he will. Grr, it's utterly the most frustrating thing ever, so do any of you have some words of wisdom for so many women who are in the same boat as Bethany?

Click here to read more

I just recently became single after a super serious three year relationship. I was at a bar, talking with a really cute and very nice guy, we were totally hitting it off and ended up going back to my place. We didn't have sex, but we did mess around.

The next morning I was worried it would be weird, but he gave me the most amazing kiss and we hooked up again sober. Then, as I drove him home, we were talking and having a pretty good time. When I stopped the car at his house he asked me when I was going to be free because he said he HAD to take me out again on a real date. I told him I was free anytime before I left for a trip on Thursday, he put his hand on my leg, told me he would call, and gave me the most amazing kiss before getting out of the car. Well, I leave for my trip tomorrow and I have heard NOTHING.

Why would someone push the idea of a date so hard if he had no intention of calling in the first place? What's the point of the act?

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Flashback! A Phone For Creepy People

TresSugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 11:30:28 -0800

For $69 those looking to spice up their phone calls could have owned this "conversation piece" belonging to the same genre as that leg lamp in A Christmas Story.

The ad reminds us that the phone was sculptured by a European artist, which makes it totally classy and not at all tacky. However judging by the photo, it's not so easy to talk on a naked-lady phone. Oh well.

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The How-To Lounge: Calling Someone You Don't Know

DearSugar — Mon, 19 May 2008 11:10:35 -0700

Whether it’s for work or personal reasons, calling someone you don’t know can be very intimidating. For whatever reason - perhaps because all of the normal body-language clues are removed - the phone seems to make even the most mundane conversations a little more awkward and uncomfortable. Fortunately, getting past the fear of the phone just takes some practice, so to learn some tips for calling someone new, read more.

Even though it’s only the first 30 seconds, the introduction is often the hardest part. My rule of thumb is to confirm you’re speaking to the right person, introduce yourself, and give your reason for calling. Keep it short and simple.
If you know the person through someone else, make sure to include that along with your name so they understand that you’re not just a random caller.
While I won't recommend that you write down everything you plan to say before you sit down and dial, if you're really nervous, it can help to jot down the first thing that you'll say, or any of the topics you need to cover. Even if you don't use it, it might make you feel more comfortable just knowing the cheat sheet. is there
Although small talk and pleasantries can be important when it comes to breaking the ice, they can also lead to awkward conversations and lingering silences, so it’s not a bad idea to leave them until the final moments of the call when you have more of a rapport.
Even if you’re keeping the small talk to a minimum, it’s still important to stay pleasant and kind throughout regardless of the person on the other end of the line. I always wait for the other person to finish talking before chiming in with my own thoughts, and I try to end the call with as sincere of a “thank you” or “it was great talking to you” that I can muster

Remember, practice makes perfect so don’t avoid making phone calls even when you don’t want to.

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