TresSugar

A Case of Too Much Information

DearSugar — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 15:00:00 -0800

Do you have a friend, or worse, a coworker who just doesn’t know when to stop sharing information about her personal life? When people end up leaving everyone around them slightly uncomfortable, they've divulged TMI, or too much information. Things that fall under that category might be your mom’s sex life, your boss’s bathroom habits, your neighbor’s foot fetish, or even your own personal fantasies. It’s not that you’re judging what they're saying per se, but you just don’t want to know; we all have our limits! So tell me: Are you one to stop people from giving TMI, or are you a TMI offender?

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Your Personality Quirks Come Out When You Eat Out

TresSugar — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 02:00:00 -0700

People say you really get to know someone when traveling with them or living with them. To that I would add - and when you go out to eat with them.

New York Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni would agree. He recently wrote about the odd quirks and desires people bring to the dinner table. Whether your quirks are about sharing food, hoarding food, being picky, or pretending to make a big show of eating when you've left most of the food you started with on your plate - it seems that your relationship to eating, especially when you eat out, can be a key to your personality. "People are as strange about eating as they are about love," he says. "They want what they want."

I have to say - I’m definitely a hoarder type. I hope this doesn’t mean I’m a selfish person in other ways, but I’m not big on family-style eating. One of my biggest pleasures is going to a restaurant, poring over the menu, and after an anguished process of elimination I take dead seriously (salad or soup? steak or risotto?), I settle in and hope I chose well. (But yes - you can have a bite!) I'm a sharer when it comes to bills, however. Folks who pull out the calculator (mentally or literally) drive me bananas. And don't get me started on people who are rude to wait staff or cheap tippers!

What are your quirks when eating out?

Are You a Naked Person?

TresSugar — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 07:00:27 -0700

I used to date a guy who was such a "naked person," he would pretty much do anything in the buff. I once found him in the kitchen making quesadillas, wearing nothing but his birthday suit. Even he admitted that was a bit much.

There are a lot of naked people - folks who feel so comfortable in their own skin that they think nothing of walking around the house nude, skinny-dipping, or disrobing in group saunas. Remember the episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte won't remove her towel in the sauna, saying she didn't grow up in a "naked house"? Are you more like Charlotte or my naked ex-boyfriend?

Speed Read! Roman Polanski's Bail Offer Approved

TresSugar — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 09:30:58 -0800

A Swiss court has approved Roman Polanski's offer to be released from prison for $4.5 million bail. He will be kept under house arrest at his Swiss chalet. - New York Times
President Obama will travel to Copenhagen for the UN climate change conference next month. - Washington Post
Jetman fails to fly from Morocco to Spain with personal jet pack, gets picked up in Atlantic Ocean. - NPR
A random 45-year-old man bites a 17-year-old at a screening of Twilight. - Jezebel
Adopted man looks for his biological father, discovers that it's Charles Manson. - Boing Boing
Are cougars an endangered species? - Vice
Military wives celebrate Thanksgiving in October. - Double X
Details from last night's state dinner. - Huffington Post

Are You a CAT Person or a DOG Person?

DearSugar — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 08:00:00 -0700

Whether you prefer having a cat or a dog as a pet can say a lot about your personality. Here's a list of traits for each, and you can be the judge if there's any truth to it.

Cat owners tend to be...

Dog owners tend to be...

introverted, self-conscious, shy, secretive, sensitive
interested in quieter pursuits like reading, watching movies and videos, music, etc.
Are homebodies or prefer quiet places
Like their creature comforts and although they expect people to notice them, they tend not to boast, preferring to draw attention to themselves in less direct ways
Have a small circle of close friends rather than a larger group

extroverted, eager, unembarrassed, open
Interested in sports, adventuring, exploring, and outdoor pursuits
Like to be busy and go out a lot, like loud places like parties
They tease and pick on each other in a friendly way, and like talking and boasting about their accomplishments
Have a large circle of friends and acquaintances and they make friends easily

So what do you think? Does having a cat or dog reveal anything about its owner? Do any of these characteristics apply to you or anyone you know?

Source and Source

Love For Sale: Personal Ads From the 19th Century

TresSugar — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 09:00:00 -0700

It's not often a history dissertation warrants consideration outside a university, but Pam Epstein, a PhD candidate at Rutgers University, has turned hers into a blog worth blogging about. She's using old personal ads to explore love and marriage in mid-19th- to early-20th-century America, and has dug up some real gems - both the ads and the men. What I love is that instead having categories like "missed connections" or "casual encounters," they have "matrimony." Finding a mate was never so easy! Until, that is, you read their "desires."

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Ask a Wife: How Do I Stop Being the Other Woman?

TresSugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:00:58 -0800

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. This week, a woman in a happy marriage tries to help out a woman stuck in an affair. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

Today's Question:

I am involved with a married man and I don't know how to stop. He's been married for a couple of years, and his wife often goes out of town. I feel like I'm in a relationship with him: he calls or texts before he goes to sleep, cooks me dinner when he can, and we talk about almost anything with each other. I don't expect him to leave his wife for me, and it doesn't seem like he's going to. He just says he wishes we would have met before he got married. I know deep down that this is so wrong, but I feel like I can't do anything about it. I feel too happy when I'm around him. Help!

Signed,
The Other Woman

To see the advice, read more.

Dear The Other Woman,

I have some bad news and some good news. First, the bad news: you are not happy. You are in a relationship that is damaging to both you and this man's wife. The only person remotely benefiting from the situation is this unfaithful person you are involved with.

Now the good news: real happiness does exist. You can find someone - who's not married - to talk, laugh, cry, and have sex with. And it will be so much better. But first you need to do some work on yourself. Look at your life and decide what type of person you want to be. Do you want the adjectives selfish, dishonest, and disrespectful to describe who you are? Or would you rather have the words loving, faithful, and complete describe your behavior and your relationship? Next you need to boost your confidence. Think about what has made you do something that is undoubtedly so hurtful to yourself and this other woman. Is it because you are afraid of being alone? Is it because you think this is the best thing you can get? If so, let me tell you that a little patience can go a long way. Focus on the things you really enjoy in life (do you like running? painting? traveling?), the things that make you excited, and you will only become more desirable.

The search for love is a hard and frustrating one, but you are just going down a dark and depressing path with nothing but hurt waiting at the end of it. End things with this unavailable man, figure out why you love yourself, and then you will find someone who loves you for all those qualities too.

Signed,
A Wife

Does Your Personality Match Your State of Residence & Mind?

CitizenSugar — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Think you can judge a person by the state they live in? It might not be such a crazy notion according to new research on the geography of personality. Controlling for factors like race, income, and education, the study profiled 600,000 Americans with a 44-question personality test that evaluates five traits: extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism and openness.

Using those results and cross-checking them with stats on crime and health seem to seal the deal on one's state of mind lining up with one's state of residence. High amiability means lower crime, high anxiety points to poor health and lowered life expectancy.

Of course the results spark questions like whether certain states encourage specific personalities by culture, climate, or common history - or whether we just choose to live where we feel most at home. Those questions aside, the results and the interactive maps? Fun times! Very nicely done, Wall Street Journal.

To see some of the most unusual findings, read more.

North Dakota was pegged the most outgoing state in the union.
Despite Puritanical stereotypes, New England ranked at the bottom of the "conscientious" scale.
Scoring well on the "openness" scale strongly correlates to liberal social values and Democratic voting habits - however three of the top ten "open" states (Nevada, Colorado and Virginia) tend to swing Red.
Most conscientious? Florida. (Maybe there's a tie between living in a coastal paradise and pitying others who don't?)
Anxiety isn't just tied to high-powered jobs and a fast lifestyle. States stressed by poverty, like West Virginia and Mississippi also proved highly neurotic.

Where does your state stack up? Is it possible to make generalizations about the personality of an entire state's population? Do you match yours?

Dear Poll: Are You a Phone Person?

DearSugar — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Some people are born talkers. They could gab on the phone for hours on end and still find more things to discuss. Then there are those who almost pray to get voicemail in hopes of avoiding a live conversation. I actually consider myself a good phone person, but when the individual on the other end isn't, it can make for some incredibly awkward conversation. Of course face to face communication always makes for higher quality conversation, but tell me, are you a phone person?

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A Do or a Don't: Personalizing Your Cube

DearSugar — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Since we spend most of our time at work, our cube or office space essentially becomes our home away from home. I've never gone so far as to put frames on my desk, but I definitely have my fair share of unique touches that makes my desk feel homey and familiar. On the flip side, some people don't even feel comfortable sharing their personal life with their co-workers so I'd assume personalizing their cube would be out of the question. What about you? Do you set up camp in order to make your workplace more pleasant or do you think adding personal touches is a don't since mixing business with pleasure can easily become too complicated?

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