TresSugar

Are You a Touchy-Feely Kind of Gal?

DearSugar — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Orlando Bloom has been making his rounds all over Europe this Summer with his arms wide open! Now I'm not complaining, I wouldn't mind a hug from him myself, but I know that some people aren't as comfortable canoodling with their friends. I've always been a touchy-feely kind of girl, whether it's embracing family with a hug or kissing my girlfriends on the check after a night out, a little connectedness can really lift my spirits. Are you the same way? Do you welcome people with open arms or do you need your personal space? Of course, there's a time and a place for it, but overall, would you consider yourself to be a touchy-feely kind of gal like me?

Bauer-Griffin Online

A Do or a Don't: Personalizing Your Cube

DearSugar — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Since we spend most of our time at work, our cube or office space essentially becomes our home away from home. I've never gone so far as to put frames on my desk, but I definitely have my fair share of unique touches that makes my desk feel homey and familiar. On the flip side, some people don't even feel comfortable sharing their personal life with their co-workers so I'd assume personalizing their cube would be out of the question. What about you? Do you set up camp in order to make your workplace more pleasant or do you think adding personal touches is a don't since mixing business with pleasure can easily become too complicated?

Source

Dear Poll: What's More Sensual? Hands or Lips?

DearSugar — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Being touched is a great thing, but the right touch can be absolutely amazing. We know that our body is covered with nerve endings and erogenous zones, which when touched, can send electric bolts of sensation right through us. So let me ask you this, when you’re getting frisky, is it more sensual to be touched by lips or by hands?

Source

Dear Poll: Pick a Celebrity Masseur

DearSugar — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 03:00:00 -0800

I know very few women who don't enjoy a good spa day; personally, I would never pass up a massage or a facial. Taking a few hours to relax can be a necessary part of staying centered, and simple physical contact is vital for remaining connected to one's self and to others. And as we're always saying, it's good for your physical and emotional health, too. Don't think of it as an indulgence; think of it as healthcare.

Therapeutic massage isn't sexual, and that's the kind of body work we're talking about here, ladies: If you could pick any celebrity for a nice 90-minute session, who would you choose?

Source

Have You Ever Dated a Mama's Boy?

TresSugar — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:00:00 -0800

In a way, that's a trick question.

Although "mama's boy" has negative connotations (he was smothered or spoiled by mom), a man who was raised with love and affection by a mother with boundaries often grows up to be what the author of Raising Boys Without Men calls a "head and heart" person.

This positive version of a mama's boy, says Peggy Drexler, is in touch with his and others' emotions and knows how to communicate. (This is assuming the mother herself is connected to her emotions and is a good communicator - a big assumption.)

Have you ever dated a man who was close to his mother? Was he spoiled, expecting you to do everything dear ol' mom did? Was he smothered, one wig and a rocking chair away from being Norman Bates? Or did it help him to respect women and teach him to be connected to his feelings?

You Asked: My Boyfriend's Friend Won't Leave Me Alone

DearSugar — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend has a good friend who is a very nice guy, but when he drinks, he gets very touchy feely and kind of creepy. Lately he seems to be directing more of his bad behavior towards me, which is making me very uncomfortable. One night my boyfriend, his friend, and I were at a club and I was standing off to the side. My boyfriend was still on the dance floor when his friend came up to me and put his hand just under my breasts and made a gross comment about how lucky my boyfriend is to have me. I told my boyfriend, but he brushed it off, blaming the alcohol.

But the next time we were around his friend, he started acting inappropriate towards me again. This time my boyfriend took note. He asked his friend about what happened at the club, and he claimed he didn't remember it. But the final straw came the next time we were out and he had been drinking. This time he came up to apologize for how he acted, but all he did was try to grope me again. I got away from him as quickly as possible, but now my boyfriend and I are trying to figure out how to deal with this.

We know that he is completely harmless and would never do anything, but at the same time his behavior freaks me out. Normally I would tell him off, but he's my boyfriend's very good friend, and is also friends with the rest of the group. It's just a very awkward situation that I don't want to make worse. We don't want to completely offend or embarrass him, so we're looking for some advice on how to handle this situation delicately.

- Violated Viv

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Violated Viv,

This guy is consistently violating you and making you feel uncomfortable, and you're worried about his feelings! The fact is if he were completely harmless, you wouldn't feel uncomfortable around him. Your boyfriend needs to step up to that plate on this one. He needs to tell his so-called friend, in no uncertain terms, that he is never allowed to touch you in any way, and if that means he can't hang out with you guys anymore, then so be it. And if he ever tries to grope you again, you're well within your rights to tell him off straight to his face.

It sounds to me like this guy is used to getting away with whatever he wants when he's drunk because his friends aren't willing to stand up to him, and that's just not OK. Friendships are about mutual respect, and if this guy doesn't even respect his close friend enough to stay away from his girlfriend then I don't think he's the "good guy" you and your boyfriend think he is. In fact, a little embarrassment might do him some serious good. You should never have to put up with an uncomfortable or inappropriate situation to keep the peace, so don't let anyone, boyfriend, or otherwise, convince you to.

Source

Do Tell: What's the Craziest Thing You've Ever Done For Love?

TresSugar — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 04:00:00 -0700

We hear a lot about dudes doing crazy things, like stalking, when women leave them. But in the spirit of fairness, we have to admit that women can get touched by the crazies, too.

In recent news, a woman from Houston was angry at her former common-law husband so she felt like the most logical thing to do was to ~~walk away and be the bigger person~~ take goldfish they'd bought together from his apartment, fry them up and eat three of them. When officers arrived at her apartment, four of the poor fishies were fried up and sitting on a plate.

As the wiseacres over at Neatorama said, "Nothing says it's over like fried goldfish." What's the craziest thing you've ever done for love?

Sex Therapist Says: Go Ahead and Snoop on Him

TresSugar — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 12:00:00 -0700

In an ideal world, says sex therapist and relationship counselor Dr. Ian Kerner, partners in committed relationships wouldn't hide anything from each other nor be suspicious of the other's activities. But Internet infidelity is such a problem these days, he argues, that sometimes you are justified in snooping on your partner's online activity.

You might not find out that your partner's cheating on you in the real world, Dr. Kerner says, but he might be committing emotional infidelity - that is, confiding in someone of the opposite sex, flirting with her, or even sending sexual messages. Research has shown that men don't think about emotional infidelity the same way that women do (most of them think it's not as bad as sexual infidelity), but it is a drain on the relationship nevertheless. If you've ever been with someone who checked out from the relationship and was investing romantic attention elsewhere without technically cheating, you'll know what he's talking about!

So when should you take this taboo leap into treating the person you're supposedly closest to like a crime suspect? I'll tell you after the jump, but you tell me - do you think it's worth taking this step, or are suspicions sign enough that it's time to bail? To see Dr. Kerner's list of signs you might need to start snooping, read more

Does he spend too much time on the computer or other digital devices?
Is he comfortable leaving Facebook pages or emails open when he's not at the computer?
Does he keep in touch with exes or members of the opposite sex on social networking sites like Facebook? Does it make you feel uncomfortable, or do you feel like you should know more and you don't?
Does your partner give you other reasons to not trust him - like flirting with others a lot when you are out together?
Has the frequency with which you have sex decreased?
Does your gut tell you something's wrong?

Is This Craigslist Ad Real?

TresSugar — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 03:00:00 -0700

Moving to San Francisco? Well, do I have the place and 'mate for you. It doesn't have any space, but rent's only $680. Now I totally believe this apartment exists . . . but this is either a joke or the most terrifyingly unself-aware person out there. I am almost tempted to go check it out.

Hello, I am seeking a nice room mate to share my 2 bedroom home.

You won't have to pay utilities or do any chores so it's perfect for a young person or a student.

But I cannot have anybody touching or moving my stuff because it would set off a chain reaction of emotions and feelings towards you and towards my things. Hoarding is not a mental illness, it is something environmentally responsible because I don't like to throw anything away. But the San Francisco Department of public health said my living conditions were unsafe and came in and forcibly removed my things I have been collecting for over 40 years. It traumatized me and I have been rebuilding my collection ever since.

Read the rest of the ad and vote on its validity after the jump

Hump Day: What Are Some Unconventional Erogenous Zones?

TresSugar — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 07:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

“I would like to be a better lover. What are some unconventional erogenous zones?” To hear Dr. Glickman's answer, read more

Well, I suppose that depends on who you ask. After all, what one person considers “unconventional” is someone else’s favorite place to visit. But even so, there are some spots that not everyone knows about.

For the guys, men’s nipples are an often-overlooked pleasure zone. Some guys like pinching or twisting, but get a firm grip first. Or try sucking on them. Either way, start off light and slowly increase until you find the right level.

You could also spend a little time with his prostate. The prostate gland is found by inserting a well-lubricated finger into the anus and curving it towards the navel. It’s about the size of a golf ball, although much softer. It’s very similar to the G-spot so try stroking it, making circles or a windshield-wiper motion. Prostate play is a great addition to oral sex and it makes lots of guys’ toes curl. If you’re concerned about anal play and cleanliness, grab a glove. Some men worry that anal play is strictly gay; but remember, who you want to have sex with doesn’t have to have anything to do with what types of sex you like. (Expert Guide to Anal Play for Men or Bend Over Boyfriend are good references.)

To make your girl smile, give her clitoris or her A-spot (between her cervix and G-spot) some attention. It's at the deepest part of the vagina on the front wall, so if someone is on her back, insert a slim, curved vibrator or dildo and curve it upwards. If she’s face down, curve it down. Fingers can work if they’re a bit longer than average, too. There’s still some controversy about the A-spot and it’s not clear yet how much different women enjoy stimulating it but some women report that A-spot play leads to more vaginal lubrication and intense orgasms.

Quite a few women also report that perineum massage feels wonderful. In part, it’s because the perineal sponge is there. It’s a sort of, well, spongy tissue that engorges during arousal and it contains lots of nerve endings. Try a massage or using a vibrator there, especially during oral sex. In addition, massaging the perineum can help the pelvic muscles relax, which increases blood flow and can make both vaginal and anal penetration easier.

Of course, all of these technical skills and hot spots won’t make you a better lover if you’re not paying attention to your partner. Ask them what their favorite spots are and how they like to be touched. Some people have difficult describing what they like, but there’s an easy way to work with that. Give them two options and ask them which one they liked better. That can make it a lot easier to get the info you need to give your sweetie a thrill.