TresSugar

This or That: Under Pressure or Totally Bored?

DearSugar — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700

After some major changes in both your personal and professional life, things have begun to move in a new direction. Now your brain, body, nerves, and emotions are adjusting to an entirely new routine, and it’s kind of tricky on the day to day. Would it be worse if…

This: You have more responsibilities and activities going on than ever before? You’re getting a lot done but feel completely underwater, and the stress is really starting to get to you.

Or…

That: Your life has slowed down considerably compared to the whirlwind it used to be? Things are incredibly slow at work, and you have so much free time you literally don’t know what to do with it all.

Source

Dear Poll: Do You Talk About Your Personal Life At Work?

DearSugar — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Since we spend most of our time at work, it's inevitable that our co-workers become more than that; they become our friends, our confidants, and our sounding boards. And since having gripes about our loved ones, dealing with family drama, or even financial woes is just a part of life, it's close to impossible to leave those worries at home. I've always been the type to wear my emotions on my sleeve - I'll confide in co-workers as I would friends and family - but I know many people who are opposed to mixing business with anything personal. If you think about it, it's a good idea to draw the line somewhere, but no one way is better; so tell me, do you talk about your personal life at work or do you keep the two completely separate?

Source

What Would Your Reality Show Theme Be?

DearSugar — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 09:00:00 -0800

These days just about anyone can have a reality show, and new ones seem to spring up everyday. Recently, Denise Richards signed on to do her own reality show, which according to BuzzSugar will focus on her daughters and her high-profile divorce.

I don't think we've seen the divorce theme yet, though we have seen the newlywed, the engaged, the just dating, the thinking about having a baby, and the raising kids themes. Apparently just about everyone's life has a theme - at least when it's condensed into an hour a week. So I want to know is, if they were to make a reality show out of your life - the good, the bad, and the ugly - what would its theme be?

Source

Dear Poll: How Many Risks Did You Take in 2007?

DearSugar — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 16:00:00 -0800

Going out of your comfort zone can be incredibly nerve wracking, but after you get over the initial fear, it's almost always worth the risk. Taking chances and pushing yourself makes you grow as a person not only in your personal life, but also in your professional life, so ladies, tell me, how many risks did you take in 2007?

Source

Ask a Wife: How Do I Stop Being the Other Woman?

TresSugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:00:58 -0800

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. This week, a woman in a happy marriage tries to help out a woman stuck in an affair. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

Today's Question:

I am involved with a married man and I don't know how to stop. He's been married for a couple of years, and his wife often goes out of town. I feel like I'm in a relationship with him: he calls or texts before he goes to sleep, cooks me dinner when he can, and we talk about almost anything with each other. I don't expect him to leave his wife for me, and it doesn't seem like he's going to. He just says he wishes we would have met before he got married. I know deep down that this is so wrong, but I feel like I can't do anything about it. I feel too happy when I'm around him. Help!

Signed,
The Other Woman

To see the advice, read more.

Dear The Other Woman,

I have some bad news and some good news. First, the bad news: you are not happy. You are in a relationship that is damaging to both you and this man's wife. The only person remotely benefiting from the situation is this unfaithful person you are involved with.

Now the good news: real happiness does exist. You can find someone - who's not married - to talk, laugh, cry, and have sex with. And it will be so much better. But first you need to do some work on yourself. Look at your life and decide what type of person you want to be. Do you want the adjectives selfish, dishonest, and disrespectful to describe who you are? Or would you rather have the words loving, faithful, and complete describe your behavior and your relationship? Next you need to boost your confidence. Think about what has made you do something that is undoubtedly so hurtful to yourself and this other woman. Is it because you are afraid of being alone? Is it because you think this is the best thing you can get? If so, let me tell you that a little patience can go a long way. Focus on the things you really enjoy in life (do you like running? painting? traveling?), the things that make you excited, and you will only become more desirable.

The search for love is a hard and frustrating one, but you are just going down a dark and depressing path with nothing but hurt waiting at the end of it. End things with this unavailable man, figure out why you love yourself, and then you will find someone who loves you for all those qualities too.

Signed,
A Wife

Hillary Talks Sexism, Obama's Job Offer, and Mad Men to Vogue

TresSugar — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 10:00:35 -0800

Hillary Clinton finally sat down for a long-overdue Vogue interview. She offended editor Anna Wintour during the primaries by turning down the fashion mag out fear of looking "too feminine." And though she won't be on the December cover, the article is as substantial and satisfying as a cover story.

From night swimming alone to her favorite shows (Mad Men!), we see a side of Madame Secretary that all the vetting in the world would not unearth. See some of what she had to say below.

On visiting countries as a high-ranking female: "You can go to some countries and there's not a woman in the room. They don't even make the effort to give me the token woman minister. . . . And in lots of African countries the honorific for women is 'Mama.' So I had lots of people say to me, 'Mama, what about this; Mama, what about that?'"

On President Obama's job offer: "I was stunned after the election when President Obama asked me to consider this. . . . I really was very unconvinced. I did not think it was the right thing to do. I didn't want to do it. I just really had a lot of doubts, and I kept suggesting other people: Well, how about this person! How about that person! This one would be really good! But then a friend of mine called me and basically said, 'How would you have felt if you'd been elected and you'd called him and asked him to do this?' And that really made a big impression on me. How do you say no? And so . . . I said yes. And here I am."

On Mad Men: "That's how it was! That's why the women's-liberation movement was so shocking. It was like news from outer space"

See what else she had to say after the jump.

The Beard (the Other Kind) in Pop Culture

TresSugar — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:28:02 -0800

It's National Beard Month and that doesn't just mean facial hair. Not to us anyway! A whole other beard genre's been growing since the middle of the 20th century - the gay cover-up beard, which is slang for a person of the opposite sex used as a cover for a gay partner. At its best, the beard is mutually beneficial to both partners. At its worst? A life of lies. For a long time the term was as secretive as its roots, but I've been hearing it more and more to describe not only real-life marriages, but also TV and movie couplings.

View Slideshow ›

First Lady Offers First Rate Advice

TresSugar — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:00:00 -0700

For its annual Women of the Year issue, Glamour made Michelle Obama the first First Lady to grace its cover. The issue honors Michelle for her commitment to mentoring young women, and the First Lady shows off these mentoring skills inside the magazine, where she offers readers advice on life and love. Here are some excerpts:

On how it's important to invest in yourself: "I have always tried to put my kids first, and then. . . put myself a really close second, as opposed to fifth or seventh. One thing that I’ve learned from male role models is that they don’t hesitate to invest in themselves."
On what to look for in a partner: "Cute’s good. But cute only lasts for so long, and then it’s, Who are you as a person? Don’t look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul. . . When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good . . . You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole."

Do you think Michelle offers some solid advice?

Dear Poll: Does Your Work Life Interfere With Your Personal Life?

DearSugar — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Although I’m sure Savvy would advise against it, sometimes it seems nearly impossible to separate professional life from personal life. I know in the past when I’ve had a terrible day at work, I’ve ended up having an equally terrible night at home. Somehow my bad mood leaves me irritable and short with my loved ones no matter how hard I try to leave my work baggage at the office. Does this happen to you too? Does your personal life suffer if you've had a terrible work week?

Source

Arizona Man Runs Down Daughter For Being "Too Westernized"

TresSugar — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 14:00:00 -0700

Yesterday, we discussed some of the challenges children of immigrants face trying to deal with clashing cultural values, but the following case is extreme.

Police are still looking for a Peoria, AZ, man originally from Iraq who allegedly ran down his daughter and her friend with his SUV to punish her for becoming "too Westernized."

Faleh Hassan Almaleki ran down his daughter Noor and her friend Amal Edan Khalaf in a parking lot on Tuesday, resulting in his daughter's hospitalization for life-threatening injuries while Khalaf, whose injuries were less severe, is also in the hospital.

This is paternalism at its worst. I have an Iranian-American friend who is having similar culture clash issues with her father, but he's a gentle and wonderful person who is trying to understand her and keep lines of communication open. I hope the women recover and that Noor and her father can reach some sort of understanding with each other eventually.