TresSugar

Dear Poll: Would You Want to Know?

DearSugar — Fri, 16 May 2008 08:00:49 -0700

Bachelor parties are known for their wild and crazy antics. It's a time for boys to be boys and for good friends to let loose and revert to their partying ways. But when you add in the code of secrecy that so many bachelor parties abide by, it can leave the women curious and worried about what really happened.

I'm all for guys having alone time with their friends, and while I'd like to think I wouldn't be a controlling girlfriend who needs to know all the details, I just don't know if I could resist asking! Since I'm torn on the subject, tell me, would you want to know the specifics of your fiance's bachelor party, or are some things better left unsaid?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

Source

You Asked: Do I Have to Invite Her to My Wedding?

DearSugar — Tue, 13 May 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,
I am getting married, and my fiancé and I are paying for our own wedding. We are keeping it small, and I don't want to invite my aunt and her family who both my mother and I have a long history of ill will toward. Our families have had numerous verbal blowouts, and my aunt hasn't even acknowledged my engagement with a call, card, or a gift.

My mom wants me to invite them to keep peace in the family for my 90-year-old grandfather, but I feel that having them there in such a small intimate setting will be bad karma and could ruin my wedding day. Do I have an obligation to invite them? I could use some objective advice to present to my mother. - Torn Tammy

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Torn Tammy,

The greatest part about having a small wedding is that you don't have to invite everyone. It sounds as though this part of your family is a huge source of contention for not only you but your mom as well, so I don't blame you for not wanting to include them. Your wedding day will no doubt be stressful enough as it is, so I don't see why you should add even more reason to worry. With that said, I do understand your mother's intentions of keeping the peace, but this is your day, not hers. Although your grandfather is elderly, hopefully he and the rest of your family understand your rationale and desire to keep your wedding small, intimate, and filled with love and good wishes.

Source

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

"What Is His Deal?"

Tres Community — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 09:00:00 -0800

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

My friend (let’s call her Laura) recently introduced me to a good male friend of hers (let’s call him Mark) at a Halloween party. Mark and I had a good time talking to each other and he emailed my friend a day later to tell her that he thought I was really nice. He then found me on Facebook and asked me out for the following weekend, to which I said yes.

We texted a few times and flirted a little bit. However, when the weekend came he got sick (I was sick too so I didn’t mind that we weren’t going to meet, although I didn’t tell him that). But now it’s been a week and I haven’t heard anything from him, no texts, no nothing. I think this is a little strange since he was the one who initially pursued me. Plus he’s friends with my friend so I didn’t think he would just ditch our plans. There is such a thing as politeness and I’m a little surprised that he hasn’t called me to let me know that he’s still sick, or busy, or whatever. So, I don’t know what to do if and when he calls. Should I go out with him? He’s already demonstrated that he can’t keep me in the loop.

There's lots of fun stuff going on in our community - join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!

How Republican Meg Whitman Plans on Winning Women's Vote

TresSugar — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 07:00:00 -0700

Last week San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom announced his candidacy for CA governor with a tweet heard round the state. But he's not the only candidate with technological savvy. Meg Whitman, the former CEO of Internet giant eBay, announced her bid back in February. Whitman, a Republican, wants to become the first woman to run the golden state. She was a national co-chair of John McCain's campaign, but her work experience lies in the private sector.

I chatted with the chair of Meg's Women's Coalition, Jillian Manis, to find out how Meg plans to appeal to women for votes. From our conversation, I got the sense that Meg sees herself as a different breed of Republican than, say, a certain female governor from Alaska.

While she's fiscally conservative, Meg is pro-choice and has a bit of a tangled stance on gay marriage - she voted for Prop. 8 because she personally feels marriage should be between a man and a woman, but she claims to respect everyone's position. In other words, she doesn't want to make opposition to same-sex marriage a crucial plank in her platform. Here's a recap of my conversation with Jillian.

Why will Meg appeal to women?
First of all, I don't think women vote for a gender. I really don't think they vote for a party for the most part, either. I think they vote for the person. And I think that Meg is a person that represents a leadership perspective that is both domestic and global, which will be extremely helpful right now as this world is flat and we do need to create relationships with other states and countries to move our state forward. (By working at eBay) she understands what interdependence is, what community building is.
Positions on female reproductive rights, especially abortion, typically separate the two parties. How does Meg explain her pro-choice position, since it's unlikely for a Republican candidate?
I think Meg has always preached inclusion. I think she very much respects people's choices. . . She's not going to force her own personal choices on others. That's not about working together that's about driving each other apart. I would say I'm socially moderate and fiscally conservative, but that has been redefined here in California and definitely in the Republican party. We are definitely more progressive and more inclusive than the rest of the country vis-a-vis our party. I know Sarah Palin doesn't represent me.
So Meg is pro-choice because she doesn't want to force her own choices on others. How was her Pro Proposition 8 stance consistence with her stance on abortion?

To see Jillian's response to this question, and for more on Meg's thoughts on gay marriage, read more.

Meg never gave money to Prop 8. She never made a public stand on Prop 8. It basically came down to when she went into the voting booth she voted for her personal choice. And that is something we have to respect. It doesn't mean she's going to change the laws. I am personally pro-life, but I am publicly pro-choice. I would never force my choice, nor would she, on somebody else.
Miss California came out against gay marriage personally, which she says cost her the crown. Obviously Miss USA and governor are different, but do you think that Meg's personal support of a constitutional amendment that ended gay marriage could derail her chance to be governor?
Well, I would hope not because we have too many big problems on our plate here in California and everything that Meg Whitman represents should be weighed equally. . . Her ability to stimulate this economy, to give people jobs, to re-energize, to apply technology to make government more efficient, to look at clean tech solutions for our environment, these are things that we should look at. . . So to make gay marriage the center piece of this election than shame us! And by the way we need to respect her as she's respecting us. And she does respect a women's right to choice and she does respect every body's choice.

From what you've read, do you think Meg sounds like a different kind of Republican candidate, or do you find her stances predictable?

Source

Is Michael Steele a Good Choice For RNC Chair?

CitizenSugar — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 00:01:18 -0800

The Republican party broke new ground last week by electing an African American to head its national committee for the first time. In some of his first remarks as chairman, Michael Steele took the opportunity to oppose Obama's stimulus plan Saturday, saying:

I know we're living in the era of bipartisanship. I thought it was very important to send a signal, and you sent it loudly, very clearly, that this party, the leadership of this caucus, would stand first and foremost with the American people. You made it very clear that in order to grow through this recession that you not redistribute the wealth of the people of this nation.

But not all in Steele's party agree. Republican governors, including Sarah Palin and Charlie Crist are lining up to support Obama's stimulus plan, which includes aide for cash-strapped states.

Do you think Steele will help the Republicans win elections in 2010?

Source

5 Things to Look Forward to This January

DearSugar — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 09:00:00 -0800

I've already been bombarded by friends telling me that they're suffering from post-holiday blues, and to be honest, I'm feeling it a little too. When it's dark and cold outside it's easy to get down, but there are some really fun things we can all look forward to this January. Check out my list below and if you think I've missed something, add your thoughts in the comments section - the more things to look forward to the better!

Even if you're not a sports fan, football playoffs are a fun excuse to get out of the house and meet new people, especially if you're single!
Most of us have a long weekend to look forward to just two weeks away - Martin Luther King Day falls early this year, Jan. 19.
Weekends away during the Winter can be just as fun as any Summer vacation. Bundle up and hit the slopes (or the lodge) and enjoy the snow while you can.
Most of us know someone with a January birthday, so blow it out this year! It's easy to hermit after the holidays so don't let your friends get the short end of the stick - make it a big celebration and get back into the swing of things before you get stuck in a rut.
If you need another excuse to celebrate, plan an inauguration party and watch history being made with close friends and family.

Source

You Asked: Is She a Bad Bridesmaid or Am I a Bridezilla?

DearSugar — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I'm getting married in a few months, and I asked my four closest girl friends to be my bridesmaids. Three of the girls have been amazing, but I've been having a lot of issues with the last girl. They were kind enough to throw me a lovely bachelorette party, but they had a hard time settling on the date because the girl in question was always "busy." They finally settled on a date that worked for her, and then three weeks before the party, she called to tell me that she couldn't make it because she decided to take a vacation instead. I feel extremely hurt because I knew the other girls bent over backwards to accommodate her because we all felt it was important for her to attend since she was a bridesmaid. Am I wrong to be hurt that she would miss my bachelorette party so she could go on a vacation instead? - Peeved Penelope

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Peeved Penelope,

I have to say that I'm on your side on this one - your friend is being incredibly selfish by purposely making vacation plans on the same weekend as your bachelorette party. Not only did she create a ruckus by making the date all about her, but she's clearly showing you where her priorities lie. Since she's already made her decision, there's nothing you can do now, so try not to let her absence ruin your bachelorette party or your wedding day.

Although brides are typically the ones that become overwhelmed during wedding planning time, perhaps your friend is going through something that you're unaware of. Could she be jealous that you're getting married and she's not? Could she be having marital problems if she's already married? She could also have bailed out on your weekend with the girls simply because the attention was not going to be on her.

Since your feelings are rightfully hurt, I'd talk to her about it. Let her know how she made you feel and perhaps ask if there's something bothering her that she wants to talk about. If she says no, remember that this is her problem, not yours, and hopefully by the time your wedding comes around, she can stand by your side and support you on your big day.

Source

Inauguration Week: Oprah Goes to Washington!

LibertySugar — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 00:01:00 -0800

Oprah Winfrey plans to go to Washington, DC for the inauguration of Barack Obama, and she's bringing her audience, which is spread out across places like Saudi Arabia and another 140 countries!

During inauguration week Oprah will tape her show at the Kennedy Center's Opera House, also the location of Oprah's rumored star-studded inauguration night party. I guess we can start calling it the Kennedy Center's Oprah House.

Since Oprah really, really wanted Obama to win, you know she'll throw a celebratory bash to remember! Are you one of the 1.5 million people that plan on being in DC with Oprah for the inauguration?

Source

Wedding Parties Week in Review

DearSugar — Sat, 17 May 2008 09:21:30 -0700

Just in case you missed any of the wedding party week coverage here on Dear, you can check out my recap below!

Coed parties are the new trend, but are they a good idea or a bad idea?
Learn all the proper etiquette when it comes to throwing a bachelorette party or bridal shower.
What do you think? How many pre-wedding parties are too many?
Managing family issues during your wedding can be a real struggle, so check out my advice for dealing with a demanding sister-in-law, estranged relatives, and a familial rift.
Would you want to know what goes on at your man's bachelor party?
Make sure to check out the newest installment in Dear's wedding timeline series for your wedding planning needs.
Bachelorette parties can range from totally wild to spa-day relaxing. What kind do you want?
When it comes to party entertainment, are bridal shower games and penis paraphernalia dos or don'ts?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

Source

Arianna Huffington Says the Media Gives Equal Time to Lies

LibertySugar — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 14:30:17 -0700

This week I attended a panel put on by the New Democratic Network (NDN), a progressive think tank. Speakers like Mayor Booker from Newark, NJ, Cecile Richards, the president of Planned Parenthood, Jonathan Atler, the senior editor of Newsweek, and the amazing Arianna Huffington, editor in chief of the Huffington Post, discussed their ideas for a better tomorrow.

Cecile Richards pointed out that Planned Parenthood does more to prevent abortion than any other group, and said that John McCain and his 0 percent voting record with Planned Parenthood would take American women backwards. Arianna Huffington discussed what she calls the Pontius Pilot media, which tries to find the truth by giving equal time to partisan arguments. She argued that the truth often rests unequivocally on one side. Here's how she answered a few questions from the audience.

How dangerous are the networks with their talking heads and fake drama?
Right now it's about the real conflict in the Democratic Party between Hillary and Obama supporters. It's not resolved. But the way it dominates is disproportionate. [The story] is easy. Like college football. It's not like people's lives are at stake.

How can we get people to change their outlook? To see the answer read more.
Instead of trying to move people away from Fox or voters away from McCain, target people who have given up. Target the 83 million eligible voters who did not vote in 2004. The millions who don't vote just think politics can't change anything. How many universal healthcare plans have been presented? All those who have given up are rationale. We have to convince them.

How do we convince those who gave up?
For example, Huffington Post launched new lifestyle sections for users who do not agree with our politics, but will discover our politics.

Do you agree with Arianna? Should the media stop giving equal time for partisan talking points and washing their hands of the responsibility to find the truth? Do you think some of those 83 million nonvoters will cast a ballot this November?