TresSugar

Forget Dinner: A Dating Website Just For Quickies

TresSugar — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:30:00 -0700

Forget Dinner is a website that caters to people in sexless marriages. The casual dating site is particularly popular in the UK and boasts the tag line: "Forget dinner and go straight to bed!" Subtle!

While many people use online dating (and dating in general) just to get laid, Forget Dinner removes any confusion. The site explains: "Forget Dinner allows people to be direct and honest about what they want without having to waste time, money, and effort sifting through the many thousands of singles who want a partner for life." Almost all the users are married, and the site has a 10-to-1 ratio of men to women. Some users say that they want to avoid long-term affairs that could get messy, so instead they look for no-strings-attached sex to make up for what they're evidently not getting at home.

There's a trend among dating sites to declare people's motives right from the start. We have the site 7 or Better for people looking for well-endowed men, and there's even a Sugar Daddies site. Basically, there's a dating destination for everyone. What do you think about a concept like Forget Dinner?

Condé Nast Is Truly, Madly, Online Dating

TresSugar — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 12:00:00 -0700

Condé Nast started the week out on a sober note, announcing the closure of venerable publications like Gourmet. Now, the publishing giant is ending the week with a bit of sexy news: it has just launched an online dating site called Truly Madly Dating.

According to UK Vogue, the site is "created to unite glamorous girls with fashion-conscious GQ-reading boys to create matches made in style heaven." Doing a little browsing myself, I've come across a photographer seeking a muse, a woman in Russia who loves to travel, and a down-to-earth investment banker looking for a woman who is fun to be around.

Since ad revenue is declining quickly for the company, a dating site might be a business model made in style heaven - if it takes off, of course. Would you use it, or do you think it might attract singles that aren't quite your type?

Say What? Writer on Signs Your Online Date's a Loser

TresSugar — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 09:00:00 -0700

"I made a list of warning signs. Among them: any guy who has his shirt off in his main photo. Any guy who has his arms around two women, and they're not his sisters. Any guy who lists his butt as his best feature, ironically or not. And any guy who uses the word 'lady' in the first email."

- In September's Allure magazine, AJ Jacobs, author of The Guinea Pig Diaries: My Life as an Experiment, reveals what he learned about men when he pretended to be a beautiful nanny looking for a date online. Some men were sleazy, some were adorable, and some (with the aforementioned profiles) were probably losers.

The Case For Craigslist: Are Its Date Seekers More Honest?

TresSugar — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 14:00:00 -0700

Desperately seeking authenticity? Maybe it's time to ditch self-conscious, niche dating sites for the shrouded cloak of Craigslist. People there are anything but afraid to ask for what they want: "Looking for a fun woman to experiment with who likes Gossip Girl!" "Relationship in exchange for financial help." "Let's get married this year!"

But while Craigslist can seem sleazy, desperate, and even dangerous, writer Katherine Sharpe at n + 1 points out that at least users are being honest, unlike the folks with their primped pictures and rehearsed lines on Match. After all, how many people, she asks, can be "laid-back" and "not take themselves too seriously"? (Perhaps as many people who claim the The Da Vinci Code as their favorite book?)

Craigslist is the only dating site (that I know of) that hasn't morphed into a social-networking site, and so it's the only one to remain truly anonymous. It's honest and open - open all night! - and specific. So if you're looking for a fellow Gossip Girl fan who's uptight, hates long walks on the beach, and reads Kafka - Craigslist is your best bet.

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Finding Your Perfect Match: 6 Niche Dating Sites

TresSugar — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 04:00:00 -0700

It's not uncommon for single people to turn to online dating when they can't seem to find someone that tickles their fancy. But some people have very specific fancies that need to be tickled. I've rounded up six of my favorite niche online dating sites, which help me believe: there is someone for everybody.

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You Asked: Should I Try an Online Dating Service?

DearSugar — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 13:02:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I'm thinking about using the dating service, It's Just Lunch, but I'm worried that I'll be the youngest person there. I just moved to a new city after graduating from college, I have a relatively busy job and haven't had any luck meeting guys. I'm only 24 and I feel like using a dating service is a total cop out, so should I keep trying other avenues, or should I just go for it? - Timid Tammy

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Timid Tammy,

There are so many stigmas attached to dating services, and while older people tend to be the ones using them, I think you should totally go for it! You never know who could be at the opposite side of the lunch table, and at the end of the day, what do you really have to lose?

If It's Just Lunch doesn't work out for you, tell your friends and family members that you're looking to meet someone, they might have the perfect person in mind. I know it can be hard to meet new people, but if you keep your eyes open and your available light on - especially in unexpected places like the grocery store, your local coffee shop, or the gym - you might be pleasantly surprised to find that guys are out there looking for love too. Good luck!

Source

Sunday Confessional - I'm Ashamed of How We Met

DearSugar — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 09:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend and I have been together for just under three months and everything has been absolutely amazing. We have a wonderful connection, he's sweet, generous, and loving, and the passion is undeniable. Things have been going so well that we recently decided to meet each other's families.

While I'm really excited to take this next step in our relationship, I've also been experiencing a lot of anxiety about it - my family has no idea that we met through an online dating website; and neither do my friends. I know my older brothers and sister will never let me hear the end of it and I fear that this news will spread like wildfire. I know that how we met is just a formality, but I can't help but feel incredibly embarrassed that I had to resort to such measures.

My boyfriend is perfectly comfortable with the truth of how we met, and I know that my insecurity about it can't make him feel very good, but I just can't help it - I'm ashamed to admit that I was an online dater! Would it be terrible if I asked my boyfriend to lie to my family for me?

Submit your own Sunday Confessionals here and see if you are forgiven!

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You Asked: Why Hasn't He Closed His Online Dating Account?

DearSugar — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I have been dating someone for almost two months now, and I'm really starting to fall for him. He had a profile on an online dating website, but that wasn't how we met - he was someone from my past who reappeared on his own. In the almost two months we have been together, I have checked his profile and noticed that he has been on the website numerous times. I can't help but have hurt feelings that he hasn't closed his account. I just feel like if he were really into me, he would have changed his profile from single to in a relationship. Should I ask him to? Is he looking for other women? Are we on two different pages? I'm just so confused by this. - I'm Hurt Helen

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear I'm Hurt Helen,

I don't blame you for having hurt feelings by the fact that your boyfriend still claims to be single, which is why I advise you to broach the subject with him ASAP. It's easy to jump to conclusions here, but try not to assume the worst just yet.

Since you're having to snoop on him online, I have to ask you if there's something else going on here. Has he ever given you a reason not to trust him? Has his behavior toward you changed in any way? If so, I think it would be best to talk to him face to face about his feelings toward you before going behind his back any more. It's important to feel secure in your relationship, so hopefully a good heart to heart will set your mind at ease. Good luck.

Source

Dear Poll: Have You Ever Lied in an Online Dating Profile?

DearSugar — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 06:00:00 -0800

Online dating seems to be the new way for busy singles to meet new potential mates, and while I hear happy endings from men and women all the time, there are many cynics out there who are skeptical of the millions of people creating dating profiles.

Since it's easy to lie and be deceptive on such sites, the brains behind Match.com have just launched a new site, DownToEarth.com, which aims to be the most honest and respectful free dating service on the Internet. In an effort to give their community authentic members, they've come up with a rating system where fellow daters rank the users' profiles against their real lives. This is a genius idea if you ask me, but I wonder just how many people are actually dishonest when creating a profile. To the 37 percent of you online daters, tell me, have you ever lied in your profile?

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Ask E. Jean For DearSugar: Am I an Online Dating Dud?

E Jean Carroll — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 06:00:00 -0800

E. Jean is still enjoying her time off, but don't fret, she'll be back December 4th! In the meantime, here's an oldie but goodie. Enjoy!

Dear E. Jean,

I know I’m old-fashioned, but I’ve never tried any of the dating sites. It is now time. Past time! (I’m 30 years old and haven’t had a date in seven months. Awk.)

Ok. So. I put my profile on Match.com. I worked hard trying to sound smart and funny and cool. Believe it or not, I was frightened I was going to get inundated with guys I didn’t want to talk to . . . and guess what? No guys - not one guy - wrote to me. Nothing! I’m just sitting there. What am I doing wrong? I feel like I should take my profile down! This is not for me! My friends get tons of notice and meet lots of guys, and one of my friends even married a guy she met on The Onion personals. I don’t get it. Help! - Dead on Match

To see E. Jean's answer, read more.

Dead, My Daffodil: Come, come, my darling! Buck up! With just one magic tweak to your profile (and I wish you had given us a link), you will be meeting three chaps for coffee by next weekend - guaranteed.

First, forget your profile. Second, don’t worry about coming off as “smart and funny and cool.” Third: It does not matter what you say; it’s all about your picture. If your picture is charming (intriguing, bewitching), guys will want to meet you.

So hire hair and makeup, bring in a stylist, and pay a professional photographer to take your picture. (Or, ask your chic friends for help.) I’m serious. Why do you think the women in Elle, Glamour, Vogue, and W look so enticing? They spend hours getting ready and then hundreds (and hundreds and hundreds) of shots are fired. Gilles Bensimon, who shoots the Elle covers, will shoot an entire afternoon chasing the “perfect” image. You should do no less.

Then, for Gawd’ssakes, don’t write a profile; tell a story. Keep it short, thrilling, warm, and a tad elusive. And why are you waiting for guys to write to you? If you see a lad you like, drop him an email. Mention something delicious that caught your attention about his picture (or his favorite movies, books, etc.) and voila! A raucous courtship can begin with a sedate exchange about butterfly hunting. Good Luck, Miss Dead! Let us all know how it’s going!

To see more advice from E. Jean visit Elle magazine and AskEJean.com.