TresSugar

Have You Used an Online Dating Service?

DearSugar — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 11:00:00 -0700

People find true love in all kinds of situations. At the bus stop, at work, on line at a coffee shop, at parties, at bars, you name it. So what if you've exhausted all those options and are still on the singles scene?

Luckily there are always online dating services and there are many to choose from: Match.com, eHarmony, JDate, Matchmaker (cute name), PerfectMatch, Great Expectations, and Yahoo! Personals just to name a few.

These services do all the work for you. You can simply sign up, make a profile, and they'll send you emails telling you about people you are compatible with based on your interests. The idea is brilliant actually, and it makes meeting new people pretty easy if you're game. Two of my friends are actually in long term relationships with men they met through one of these services. So I definitely think they're worth a shot.

So I'm wondering, have you have ever signed up for an online dating service? If so, have you met anyone? Do you think they're a good idea or a bad idea?

Source

You Asked: Should I Try an Online Dating Service?

DearSugar — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 13:02:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I'm thinking about using the dating service, It's Just Lunch, but I'm worried that I'll be the youngest person there. I just moved to a new city after graduating from college, I have a relatively busy job and haven't had any luck meeting guys. I'm only 24 and I feel like using a dating service is a total cop out, so should I keep trying other avenues, or should I just go for it? - Timid Tammy

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Timid Tammy,

There are so many stigmas attached to dating services, and while older people tend to be the ones using them, I think you should totally go for it! You never know who could be at the opposite side of the lunch table, and at the end of the day, what do you really have to lose?

If It's Just Lunch doesn't work out for you, tell your friends and family members that you're looking to meet someone, they might have the perfect person in mind. I know it can be hard to meet new people, but if you keep your eyes open and your available light on - especially in unexpected places like the grocery store, your local coffee shop, or the gym - you might be pleasantly surprised to find that guys are out there looking for love too. Good luck!

Source

Meet Matchmaker Amy Andersen, Part I

TresSugar — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 10:00:00 -0700

I'll admit it: one of my guilty TV pleasures is The Millionaire Matchmaker. I find the orchestrated pairings entertaining and stomach-churning at the same time. Of course, there are other matchmakers hard at work without reality TV contracts.

In the San Francisco Bay Area, Amy Andersen works with 800 singles, half of whom are women. Amy's company, Linx Dating, doesn't call itself a "millionaires" club; instead it fashions itself as a service for both "successful" men and women. Of course, you have to pay to play. Amy's fee starts at $6,000 for eight hand-picked matches. $30,000 gets you 15 introductions, a nationwide search, and a cocktail party. Amy also offers date coaching, image makeovers, wardrobe overhauls, fitness training, and networking cocktail parties.

This sort of "high-end" matchmaking can be controversial, so I thought it would be enlightening to ask Amy to share her take on matchmaking and modern love.

Why do people come to you for your services?

Amy Andersen: People come to me because they are educated and hardworking, (typically) young professionals who are interested in finding a like-minded, quality match. Often our clients have dabbled in online dating (to mixed results), most have attempted the bar scene to unpleasant outcomes, and due to their success and taking their professional careers seriously, they refuse to date their colleagues. Thus, the resources shrink, and choices become limited and sparse.

To find out what qualities Amy's clients look for in a date, and to see how she would answer critics, read more.

What are the top qualities a man looks for in a woman?

AA: I would say being physically fit is way up there -and keep in mind, fitness can be wide ranging; she doesn't have to be an Ironman triathlete, just someone who cares about her health and enjoys fitness - along with being confident and happy with who she is. It's also important she has a life outside the relationship - in other words, not clingy. Being warm and nurturing is also way up there!

What are the top qualities a woman looks for in a man?

AA: A woman looks for good DNA! She wants a man who is going to be a good provider - so she looks for financial stability. Our clients are not looking for a guy jockeying between jobs and floating around trying to figure out what to do with his life. She also looks for physical appearance, often wanting him to be fit or tall. And finally someone who is a good communicator, not a game player.

What would you say to critics who think you're setting up gold-diggers with men who want trophy wives?

AA: We couldn't be more opposite of matchmakers who only represent men and simply have women in their databases. Unlike The Millionaire Matchmaker or other firms, we represent both men and women, and not just average but exceptional professionals. So many of our female clients are just as, if not more, successful than their male counterparts. A critic could speculate that men gravitate toward the network to meet a highly affluent woman! It really could not be further from the truth that we work with gold diggers. Everyone in Linx is an equal, and each client pays for the service. Thus there are not unusual expectations, or women desiring rich men, or men desiring a casual hookup.

Can money buy you love?

AA: Money can buy you the option to meet someone great, but it can’t buy you chemistry which leads to love. That is left up to two people and fate.

Come back tomorrow to find out what Amy thinks about "hooking up" and traditional gender roles.

Are You a Size Queen?

TresSugar — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 14:14:06 -0700

On Sunday, HBO debuted its new show Hung , about a washed-up athlete who decides to exploit what he thinks is the one asset he has left - a big penis - by becoming a male escort. Starring Thomas Jane as Ray Drecker, Hung lets it all hang out, so to speak.

It's your turn to let it all hang out. We told you about an online dating service for the well-endowed, and although you guys weren't so keen on the idea, you had a lot to say about penis size. So let me ask you a blunt question - is penis size important enough to you that you might rule someone out if he weren't as big as you wanted? In other words, are you a size queen?

Tips For Planning a Bachelorette Party

TresSugar — Thu, 07 May 2009 04:00:00 -0700

If you've been called on to plan a bachelorette party, you probably want to make it very memorable for the bride to be. But making the fun effortless requires a lot of effort beforehand! Here are some tips on how to prepare a night out on the town or a weekend getaway to celebrate a loved one's impending marriage!

Get the bride's expectations regarding: location, guest list, exotic dancers (are they banned or encouraged?).
Set a date: Send an email to the guests with a couple suggested dates, and settle on one that works for most.
Do some research: If you're traveling, find an affordable hotel and think about keeping prices down by sharing rooms. Think about calling a club you plan to attend ahead of time, so you can get on the guest list.
Set a budget: Based on what you found, estimate the cost. Make sure everyone is on the same page. Talking money can be awkward, but it's much better to be upfront so everyone can be carefree later.
Pool your resources for perks: Does your friend's uncle own a restaurant? Does your co-worker own a limo service? Call in any favors.
Make the plans: Send out invitations. If it's a getaway, send an email itinerary with all the crucial information and include links for more information.
Get people excited before the day: Forward fun reviews about the hotel you're staying in. Email an online slideshow of pictures of the bride and her friends throughout the years.
Have fun! Once the party begins get everyone in the right spirit by enjoying the party yourself!

Source

Desperately Seeking Comfort: Dating Soars as Economy Falls

CitizenSugar — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 13:30:39 -0800

Turns out nobody wants to weather a recession alone. The New York Times reports interest in off- and online dating is way, way up.

While traffic typically peaks in the new year (will not be spinster!), the rise dating sites and matchmakers are seeing can only be compared to one other year - 2001, the last recession.

Of course, numbers only go back to 1994, and online dating has become more acceptable. But even if love is not in the air, other economic factors are. Experts (um, that would be owners of dating sites and services, sociologists, and their ilk) agree these sort-of-obvious factors, which all boil down to living with less, are at play:

The under- and unemployed have more time to be online
Online dating is a relatively inexpensive way to meet people
Organized dating events are cheaper than going on a multitude of first dates
With less money to go out, people spend more time on the Internet

But there is something more substantial going on in our collective consciousness: People don't want to be alone. They also aren't as interested in money, which could be a boon for those in the market for substance over salaries.

Source

The 4-Way: Don’t Look Now

DearSugar — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Dear 4-Way,

I’m online dating, and I’ve met the standard amount of freaks, guys looking to cheat on their wives, and jerks who just want to get laid. I’ve met some nice guys, too. But I’ve noticed that after a few dates with someone nice who shows some promise, he gets back online - even though we’re still going out and things seem to be going well. (I only know he’s online because I go on to look at his pics again and read his profile - dorky to admit, but true.) I’m not looking for commitment after the third or fourth date; I guess I just hoped that after a few quality dates, guys might be interested in focusing on one person and less likely to still troll for women. It really kills the momentum in my opinion. I feel deflated when I go on to look at my crush and see, “Online now!” Any thoughts?-SB, Los Angeles, CA

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear SB,

The thing about online dating is that everyone signed up to whatever service you're using is probably doing the exact same thing - snooping around and checking out what's out there and who's online. Since you can really become anyone you want on the Internet, it's no wonder that you've come across an array of characters, but like you said, there are some nice guys out there too. You just might have to kiss a few frogs before finding your prince.

Now when it comes to dating, online or off, asking for a serious commitment after just three or four dates might be a little too presumptuous. It's not fair to you or the guys you're dating to put a timeline on getting to know each other - sometimes it only takes a mere look and other times it takes months of feeling each other out to know if you'll make a compatible match. So with that said, just because your crushes are back online after your dates (just like you are by the way!) doesn't necessarily mean they are setting up cushion dates with other women - perhaps they are just poking around for the fun of it or seeing if you're online as well.

As E. Jean said just yesterday, if you like someone and want to date him exclusively, muster up the courage to just flat out tell him! Realize that you might not get the response you want to hear, but hey, at least you'll know if he is interested in you. Meeting Mr. Right won't happen overnight, but if you're patient and listen to your needs, I'm sure you'll find someone very special sooner rather than later. Good luck.

To see everyone else's opinion, click here, and as I'm sure you can tell, I'm with you Chris Kennedy!

Dear Poll: Have You Ever Lied in an Online Dating Profile?

DearSugar — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 06:00:00 -0800

Online dating seems to be the new way for busy singles to meet new potential mates, and while I hear happy endings from men and women all the time, there are many cynics out there who are skeptical of the millions of people creating dating profiles.

Since it's easy to lie and be deceptive on such sites, the brains behind Match.com have just launched a new site, DownToEarth.com, which aims to be the most honest and respectful free dating service on the Internet. In an effort to give their community authentic members, they've come up with a rating system where fellow daters rank the users' profiles against their real lives. This is a genius idea if you ask me, but I wonder just how many people are actually dishonest when creating a profile. To the 37 percent of you online daters, tell me, have you ever lied in your profile?

Source

Sugar Daddies Are Making a Comeback!

DearSugar — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 10:00:00 -0800

Sugar Daddies were a thing of the '80s, but according to Fox News, they may be making a comeback! If you're unfamiliar with the term, a Sugar Daddy is an older, usually married guy, who has a younger mistress on the side. He's wealthy and he generally buys her extravagant gifts, takes her on luxurious trips, and gives her money to shop with. In return, she offers him sex with no strings attached. I know what you're thinking: it sounds like prostitution, but according to Fox News’ sexpert, Yvonne Fulbright, "pop culture has started to make this mainstream . . . and glamorize women who are in these situations."

Now that the economy has taken a nosedive, there is a resurgence of the Sugar Daddy, as some women are seeing this as a good option to get things they need or want. But it isn't just women taking from wealthy men. There are also Sugar Mommies - rich women getting sex by offering handsome young men material things. There are even online dating services, like sugardaddie.com, that help young individuals find a mature person to pamper them. I'm in no way supporting this kind of relationship and am really surprised that this is still going on. I know this is a little over the top, but tell me, do you know anyone in a relationship like this?

If you're interested in hearing more, check out this video from FOX News when you read more.

Source

Successful, Attractive Female Looking For Love

DearSugar — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 13:37:56 -0700

Dear Sugar
I am a busy and successful businesswoman and I am also newly single. I am petrified to go back out into the dating world. I don’t want to meet another money hungry loser, a womanizer or arrogant ass…but I know if I don’t get out and date, I’ll wind up an old, lonely spinster.

I work very long hours so I don’t have the free time to go to parties or to bars. I’ve considered online dating, but I have pretty high standards and I look at them as a positive thing. I am just looking to meet an equal. Do you know of any sophisticated websites where I can weed out the average Joe’s? I am not trying to be snotty, but I know the kind of man I am attracted to needs to be: successful, financially stable and smart. Big Time Belinda

To see DEARSUGAR’s answer read more

Dear Big Time Belinda
There are several upscale dating services out there. You don’t have to worry about being snotty here- you are just being honest and it’s perfectly acceptable to want to meet someone of equal status. You work hard and you are looking for a mate who shares your goals and values.

I’ve got just the site for you. Have you heard about It’s Just Lunch? It’s a matchmaking service for the dating pool of successful, attractive, well-educated singles and it has grown to become the largest dating service in the world. All of the dates you are set up on are lunch dates (or after work drinks), to best accommodate your busy schedules.

The protocol is very simple. The company sets up a one hour meeting with you where you go through a personalized screening. Typically within 48 hours you get a call about a potential date; they even make the reservations for you. After your date, you give the company feedback before your next date is selected.

If you don’t want to pursue this online, you can always call 1-800-300-9500. I say give it a shot, you’ve got nothing to lose. They’ve set up over 2 million dates over the past 15 years so they must be doing something right. Go get 'em tiger!