TresSugar

8 Tips For Newlyweds Moving In Together

DearSugar — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Deciding to wait until marriage to move in together is a choice that many couples make. And though any couple's move-in is a serious step, there’s something particularly significant about newlyweds starting a life together. It’s exhilarating, but certainly a little scary, so I’ve come up with some tips for moving in with your new spouse.

Talk money beforehand. Discussing and deciding who’s paying for what prior to signing a lease or shelling out a down payment will save you many potential headaches down the road.
Be prepared for an adjustment. Once you’re living together there are certain parts of your relationship that will naturally change. Whether those changes are good or bad will be determined based on your attitude toward them, so stay positive.
Figure out both of your expectations regarding cleanliness. And if they’re different, come up with a compromise you both can live with.

To see the rest just read more.

It’s likely that you and your new husband don’t share the same style when it comes to household décor. Instead of battling it out over every piece of furniture, just come up with an entirely new style that can work for both of you.
As far as making your home habitable - signing up for utilities, fixing up the odds and ends, decorating, etc. - don’t make the common assumption that everything has to be done together. Let each of you take on a responsibility that you’re good at or have an interest in.
It’s OK to keep your own space. Everyone needs personal space, so don’t feel guilty or hurt if you and your husband want to have your own nook, drawer, room, cabinet, or area.
As with every aspect of a relationship, communication is extremely important. Talk about your needs, boundaries, and concerns before they become full-fledged issues.
Take a moment or two each day to show your appreciation to the other. Whether it’s an affectionate hug and kiss, or simple a “thank you,” it’s important to recognize everything the other person does - it will make for a more harmonious relationship in the long term.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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The How-To Lounge: Honeymooning at Home

DearSugar — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Though the idea of spending the week after your wedding exploring Mayan ruins, eating real Italian pizza, or lounging in the Caribbean is fantasy worthy, for many newlyweds the reality is that such extravagant (and expensive) honeymoons just aren't possible. But fortunately, there's still plenty of just-married fun to be had without a plane ticket or months of planning. To see my ideas for honeymooning at home please read more.

Probably the most obvious possibility is to plan a weekend away that doesn't involve an airport or a $400 per night hotel room. Keep your driving distance to no more than half a day to cut down on extra costs and give you the most time possible to enjoy your time away.
A great play on the weekend away, but even less demanding, is a simple day trip to a nearby locale. Try a big city adventure, a low-key romp through a small town, or find a nearby lake you can spend some hours sunning on the shore.
Pack up the car, make a few playlists on your iPod, and hit the open highway - or better yet, the back roads! An old-fashioned road trip can mean serious fun. Come up with a general itinerary, but don't let a schedule dictate your trip. To keep things truly authentic and conveniently cheap, eat at local spots and stay at roadside motels.
If you really can't take time off or just don't have any extra funds, take turns doing something special for each other each day for a week. It can be a homemade meal, a thoughtful card, or just doing all the cleaning while the other relaxes on the couch. Not only is it a great way to show each other how much you care, but it's also a great pattern to get into at the beginning of a marriage.
Or, just stay in the comfort of your own home, but make it count! Rent all the movies you've been wanting to see, order you favorite take-out food, and pick up a bottle of massage oil. For a few days, make it just about relaxing and spending time with each other.

Most importantly, just make sure the days after your wedding are a chance to celebrate your newlywed status!

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Do Tell: What's the Best Part of Being Husband and Wife?

DearSugar — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 07:00:00 -0700

Once the honeymoon is over, it's back to "real life" - dirty laundry, a messy house, bills, work, etc. - but the thing that makes it all not so bad is that you have your new hubby right there with you!! Since I'm not married, I can only imagine how wonderful it must be to finally call the man you love your husband, so ladies, do tell, what's the best part about being a newlywed?

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Group Therapy: Oh boy...Newlywed Reality Sets In

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 13:30:46 -0800

It seems we've hit our first disagreement as Newlyweds.

This is the short version:

1) His mom agreed to pay for the traditional groom responsibilities (some of the flowers and the groom's cake), and told my mom just to send her the total. Which my mom did...

2) We opened a few of the cards from the wedding before we went on our honeymoon, and a few of them had cash in them, which I put in my wallet (but did not spend on the honeymoon). I THINK I wrote on the outside of each envelope the amount of the gift.

3) My mom told his mom just to make the check payable to me, since the money for the flowers and cakes had come out of my savings account.

4) My husband calls me today and asks me if I knew about the email my mom sent his mom....I said yes, I knew his mom had wanted us to give her a total...he read off to me what was itemized on the total...then made some comment about the check being made out to me...then said he was going to deposit it in our "joint account" (which to my knowledge, we don't have yet) and keep a large portion of it for himself....then he snickered and said he was kidding.

5) Then he said his dad asked him if we'd gotten a lot of money at the wedding...he told him that no, we didn't, and his dad said he'd started to TAKE OFF HIS SHOE AND PASS IT AROUND...to which I replied, "Thank GOD he didn't" which kinda made hubby upset...and he went off about how our wedding was the first one where there was no hat/purse/shoe passed around for the guests to put money in - then he indicated that he had been a little irritated about that but hadn't said anything.

6) Then he asked me if I'd kept a record of how much money we'd gotten in cards...which, honestly, I haven't. At various showers, we've kept a list of all the gifts, but most of the money was in the cards we opened. I told him yes (which is probably a mistake).

So now I have a dilemma. I have spent some of the cash. But not much, and I'm not really sure what I spent it on. He will FLIP out if I tell him that. He's extremely tight when it comes to finances, and if this topic comes up again, how should I handle it? We've had some pretty heated discussions before about money; but we weren't married back then. I know money is one of the main sources of arguments in marriages, so if any of you married girls want to offer advice or share how you handled a similar situation, that would be great.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

Ask a Newlywed: Can I Confront My Dad About His Girlfriend?

TresSugar — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. This week, a newlywed offers her advice to a woman concerned about her father's younger girlfriend. If you have a question, you can submit them here.

This week's question:

My parents have been divorced nearly 20 years. Since then, my father remarried and was then dumped by his new wife. Now, two years later, he is dating a young woman only 24 years old. I'm 21! I am glad to see him finally so happy but can't help but feel disgusted at this. At 52, he's more than twice her age. I hate the idea of my dad being the kind of man who schmoozes up to young women. I also hate the idea that my dad would be attracted to someone who could be a friend of mine from school.

Do I confront him about this and tell him how I feel? Is it even my business? Or is it OK for me to feel so awkward and awful about this?

Thanks,
21

To see the newlywed's answer, read more.

Dear 21,

It's normal to feel uncomfortable in this situation. In fact, feeling completely indifferent would be a more surprising reaction.

You should explain your feelings to your father in a respectful way. You can tell him that you are happy he has found someone, but that it will take you some time to get used to the fact that he is dating someone close to your age. Your dad might not be aware of how you feel, so if you don't tell him, he could remain clueless.

Since I don't know your father, I can't guess how he will react. I don't think you should expect him to change his actions or dump his new girlfriend, but he might say something about the relationship that makes you feel better, or at least helps you understand him. Either way, it seems that your family is important to you, so it is worth it to communicate your uneasiness so you don't continue to secretly resent your father.

Signed,

A Newlywed

Flashback: Condiments on the Newlywed Game

GiggleSugar — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 07:48:00 -0700

Whenever I watch old clips from The Newlywed Game, I find myself wondering how anyone could ever know so many mundane details about her spouse. I mean, even if you've been married for 40 years, do you really know your husband's favorite crustacean? Then there are the easy questions like, "What's your husband's favorite condiment?" - easy, that is, if you know what the word "condiment" means.

Newlywed Week in Review

DearSugar — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 04:00:00 -0700

If you missed any of my newlywed coverage this week, just check out my recap below!

First comes love, then comes marriage, but what comes next? Share with us how you and your spouse dodge those annoying questions.
Changing your name after marriage is a very personal decision so is it for you?
Find out everything you need to know about writing your many thank-you notes!
Getting ready to live together? Check out my eight tips for moving in with your new spouse.
Raising children in a two religion household can be a very challenging situation. Check out what people had to say on this serious matter and weigh-in with your own views.
Be sure to see my advice for combating your post-wedding blues.
What would you do if your new husband wanted you to be a stay-at-home wife?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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XXX-Rated Answer on The Newlywed Game

GiggleSugar — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 08:00:00 -0700

In this segment of The Newlywed Game, the ladies were asked to divulge the "weirdest place" they've had the urge to "make whoopee." One woman misunderstood the question, provided an unsolicited answer, and everyone turned beet red - in the end.

The Newlywed Game: The "Condiment" Conundrum

GiggleSugar — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

The question was, "What will your husband say is his favorite condiment?" It's a simple question - if you know what a condiment is. Say what? These brides never heard the word before, but our gals did what they had to do in the event of a vocab emergency. They guessed . . .

The How-To Lounge: Combating Postwedding Blues

DearSugar — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

With all the excitement and energy leading up to a wedding, it's likely that the day after may seem a bit lacking. Add in the emotions, relief, and exhaustion from your big day, and it's a recipe for postwedding blues. But just because the wedding is over doesn't mean you don't have plenty to look forward to in your newlywed status. Check out my advice for combating postwedding blues, and read more.

Giving yourself something to look forward to after the wedding can make a big difference when easing yourself into the newlywed lifestyle. Consider planning your honeymoon for a week or two after the wedding, or even longer if you prefer; there's no right or wrong time to take a honeymoon.
If your honeymoon is already days away, but you're still worried the lag time will leave you disappointed and listless, try coming up with a few simple postwedding events to enjoy with your friends and family. Being around your loved ones who shared in the wedding excitement will keep your spirits soaring.
It's natural to feel sad, but remember it's not going to last forever. Once you and your husband settle into a routine as newlyweds, things will start to feel much more comfortable.
On that note, as you settle into your new routine, don't forget to incorporate the elements from your prewedding planning life, too. Put more time into your friends and pick up where you left off with your hobbies - both are easily bumped aside during planning mania.
Give yourself some alone time. It may be scary at first, but it's important to reacquaint yourself with who you are when not negotiating a looming wedding. Take long walks, read a new book, or go get a massage.

Just as quickly as postwedding blues come on, they disappear so keep your chin up, and if you need to, there's nothing wrong with going through your photo album to relive the memories from your big day.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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