TresSugar

Dear Poll: Have You Talked to Your NYE Kiss?

DearSugar — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:00:00 -0800

If you found a new guy to kiss right before the clock hit midnight on New Year's Eve, I don't think you were alone - who doesn't want to start off the new year with a kiss? So if this scenario sounds familiar, I'm curious to know if that celebratory smooch sparked something more. Tell me ladies, have you been in contact with your New Year's Eve kiss since the big day?

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Dear Poll: Is It Crucial to Kiss Someone on New Year's?

DearSugar — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 09:00:25 -0800

New Year's Eve is coming up and while it's not my goal to get a kiss from a handsome man once the clock strikes midnight, if I happen to get a smooch, I think it's a great way to begin the new year. What do you think?

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The How-To Lounge: Being Single on New Year's Eve

DearSugar — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 10:00:50 -0800

Some people get bummed out if they're single on New Year's Eve and have no one to kiss at midnight. But this holiday is about way more than who you lock lips with when the ball drops. For some tips on how to enjoy New Year's as a single and fabulous woman, click here to read more.

New Year's is all about getting dressed up and celebrating the end of the year with the people you love, so try not to get too fixated on what you'll do come midnight.
If you're single, make plans with other single friends so you don't feel like the odd woman out.
I'm sure you will have a plethora of parties to choose from come Dec. 31, so go to the one where most of your friends will be.
As soon as the countdown starts, make sure to be surrounded by your friends. The best part about going to a big party is being able to celebrate with everyone, so hug and kiss all of your friends when the clock strikes midnight.
If you get lucky, or just tired, be sure to tell you're friends if you leave the party so someone knows where you are.

I hope these tips help you this New Year's. For the record, I have had my best New Year's Eves when I was single, just dancing and having fun, so I recommend doing the same! Be safe, don't drink and drive, and Happy New Year!

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What Celebrity Would You Want to Kiss at the Stroke of Midnight?

DearSugar — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 12:00:18 -0800

One benefit to being single on New Year's Eve is that you could end up getting a midnight kiss from an alluring stranger. Now let's imagine your NYE party is inhabited by celebs. It's no secret that I have a huge crush on Ben Affleck, so if we happened to be at the same New Year's party, I would make sure to be right next to him at the stroke of midnight in hopes that he'd be my New Year's kiss! Since there certainly isn't a shortage of good looking men in Hollywood, what I want to know is, what celebrity would you want to kiss at midnight on Dec. 31?

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Dear Poll: Do You Have Someone to Kiss at Midnight?

DearSugar — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Since it's pretty unlikely that any of us will be able to kiss our celebrity crush this New Year's Eve, I've got to ask, whether you're coupled up or not, do you have someone to kiss on New Year's Eve?

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What Celebrity Would You Want to Kiss at Midnight?

DearSugar — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 15:00:00 -0800

The holiday season usually goes hand-in-hand with big blockbuster movies, and this year, there's no shortage of eye candy on the silver screen! Since New Year's Eve is just one day away, I thought it'd be fun to play a little game of fantasy. If you could pick one of these leading men to kiss when the clock strikes midnight tomorrow night, which actor would you want to smooch as you ring in the New Year?

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More Kids Are Coming Out in Middle School

TresSugar — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 14:00:00 -0700

The middle-school version of ourselves probably had a blurry idea of the adults we would become, but some kids are proving that we knew a lot more about our identities than we thought. With no doubt about who they are attracted to, more and more kids are coming out as gay or bisexual before they make it to high school.

An article in this weekend's New York Times Magazine examines the trend and reveals that many of these kid are coming out before they've ever dated or kissed anyone of either sex. They just know they don't want to date the opposite sex.

The piece profiles Austin, a gay 13-year-old from Oklahoma. To hear what Austin thinks about tweens and teens coming out and the reactions they get, read more.

Austin's experience went something like this:

Austin doesn’t have to play "the pretend game," as he calls it, anymore. At his middle school, he has come out to his close friends, who have been supportive. A few of his female friends responded that they were bisexual. "Half the girls I know are bisexual,” he said. He hadn’t planned on coming out to his mom yet, but she found out a week before the dance. “I told my cousin, my cousin told this other girl, she told her mother, her mother told my mom and then my mom told me," Austin explained. "The only person who really has a problem with it is my older sister, who keeps saying: 'It’s just a phase! It’s just a phase!'"

"It's just a phase" is probably a common reaction to the idea of middle schoolers coming out. But since we would never question a heterosexual adolescent who announces that he or she likes the opposite sex, should we question those who say they're attracted to the same sex? What do you make of all this?

Talking Trash: Smart B*tches Tell Us How to Buy Romances

TresSugar — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan have helped romance readers discern the good smut from the bad for years with their blog Smart B*tches, Trashy Books. And now with their book Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart B*tches' Guide to Romance Novels, they offer a guide through the heady world of the $6.99 novel and defend it with wit and intelligence.

What's up today? Candy and Sarah tell use how they assign grades (they're harsh) to novels on Smart B*tches, Trashy Books and how to navigate book shelves packed with romance novels.

You grade books on Smart B*tches, Trashy Books, A-F; what makes an A? What loses points?

Sarah: A grade-A book for me is one that has a strong plot that takes familiar concepts and reinvents them into something new and different, with memorable and realistic characters, dialogue that is authentic and human, and a story that stays with you long after you've finished. I also find that books that reach A level with me are impossible not to read, so if I pick up the book to look at a page I end up rereading the whole thing.

Candy: An A book generally means that a) I loved it, and b) it's at the very least competently written. There's a certain floor to the craft for an A book. That's not to say I don't love schlock, because I do, but a schlocky book probably won't get an A, no matter how much I love it.

Generally speaking, books lose points if they don't engage me - if I'm able to step back from my immersion in the fictional world and I'm taking a hard look at the gears and bits that drive the machine, so to speak. When my internal editor has slowed my reading pace to a crawl, that's usually the kiss of death. Good books shut my internal editor up, and that's hard to do, honestly - hell, it's hard to get me to shut up, period, much less the pedant who lives in my head and gripes about how people just don't use the subjunctive properly nowadays.

Beyond Throbbing Bosoms was originally titled The Top Ten Signs You’re Reading a Very Bad Romance Novel. Is there a way to know to recognize a bad romance before wasting $6.99?

To see their answers, read more.

Sarah: If a book, any book, doesn't grab you after the first 30 pages or so, it's probably not to your tastes. That rule has served me well in any genre.

But the original title of the book wasn't Signs You're Reading a Bad Romance Novel, though that was part of the book that didn't make it into the final edition. My favorite was the poor copyediting that made a horse change color three times in two pages. Magic chameleon horse in historical England? Not good.

Candy: I call it the 10-page test. It's kind of analogous to bad visitors. The really bad ones generally announce themselves early on and proceed to eat all the hors d'oeuvres you've set out, then belch in your face. Many others, however, survive the 10-page test and prove to be awful visitors when it's too late to get them out of your house. So flip through the first pages, see if there are egregious plot or grammar flaws, figure out if the characters and storyline are your cuppa. It won't catch the more sneakily awful romance novels, but you should be able to root out most of the worst ones.

Check out previous posts from Candy and Sarah, and stay tuned tomorrow for recommendations for romance-novel virgins.

Is Oral Sex the New Kiss . . . and Prostitution the New Fear?

TresSugar — Fri, 29 May 2009 04:00:00 -0700

There's always a new study, book, or movie to tell us how fast kids grow up, but Oral Sex Is the New Goodnight Kiss (both a book and a documentary) takes it to a whole new level. Some girls, it seems, are causally consenting to prostitution.

Canadian filmmaker Sharlene Azam worked with teenage girls from ages 13 to 15 for four years in order to gain their trust, and they did not hold back once they started talking.

While the idea that oral sex is commonplace is not earth shattering, the girls said it was basically expected at the end of the date. Why? It's quick, easy, and doesn't take up much space. (Umm, OK.) But things get more shocking when they talk about stripping and exchanging sexual favors for a few dollars, new clothes, or the "privilege" to hang out with a certain crowd, especially guys.

The film stresses that the girls are all from upper-middle class families in suburban Canada, and one teen adds "I had a really, really, really good childhood." In fact, Azam says, the girls most at risk are the prettiest and from the most successful families. And, they're recruited by their friends who tell them about the benefits. Yikes!

Good Morning America asked several American teenagers to watch the film and talk about it yesterday. While accepting money in exchange for sex seems to be news to them, they confirm the pressure to keep a boyfriend is intense. Their identity is wrapped up in who they're dating, and most girls, they said, would do "anything" to keep a boyfriend.

To watch a clip from the documentary, read more.

Ask a Bad Boy: Making It Through New Year's Eve

DearSugar — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 07:30:00 -0800

Steve Santagati, of BadBoysFinishFirst.com and author of the best-selling book The Manual, answers your burning questions when it comes to dating, love, and how men think. He's a veteran at giving street-smart, straight-to-the-point advice, so ladies, tell me, what do you want to ask Steve about men? This is your chance to get answers, so don't hold back! Submit your questions here.

New Year's Eve! Ugh, Ryan Seacrest, the Jonas Brothers, precocious Miley, or some Lifetime special. Are those our choices? It's as if we share the New Year with a TV! Of course there is always the overpriced bar/restaurant party that promises "All your wildest dreams will come true." You know that scenario all too well; 11:48 p.m. clicks, and you scan the room like a shark looking for a helpless seal - a.k.a, someone to kiss when the clock strikes 12:01. You've jacked yourself up on more alcohol than is safe, so he doesn't have to be cute, just available. Let's not do that this year.

To see what Steve suggests, read more.

It's not about the venue, it's about the pressure women put on themselves not to be alone. Funny though, because you're alone right now reading this and you don't feel like any less of a woman. You may have been alone on the 29th and you may be alone on the 2nd, but come hell or high water, you can't bear to be alone on the 31st! Do you see how ridiculous that is? I've got news for you; a lot of guys are on to this. Not only that, but I look at New Year's Eve as easy pickin's - drunk desperate girls. That simple. Hate me for it, but it's true. My job is to let you know how guys think, and that is how we think. If your New Year's resolution is to wake up with some louse, then go for it, but if not, keep it all relative.

My best New Year's Eve - one of - was spent on the side of a mountain in Vermont with two other people, a bottle of champagne, cheap sparklers, standing in the snow, and braving minus-20-degree weather. My point is, if you're even going to bother celebrating this eve, make it with someone you care about, and with someone who cares about you. You may not have bragging rights at the water cooler, but you'll have something much deeper; a bond with your close friends.

Whatever you do this year, don't get drunk and act stupid; get buzzed and act stupid! It's just another night. That is the reality. Don't you want to live in reality?

Check out his Bad Girls Finish First t-shirts and for individual attention, visit Steve at BadBoysFinishFirst.com or email him at askstevesantagati@gmail.com.