TresSugar

Hump Day: How Can I Become Multi-Orgasmic?

TresSugar — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 04:00:00 -0800

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

"I keep hearing about women who can have 'multiple orgasms' and I can't figure out exactly what this means. Does it mean a woman who can have more than one orgasm in a night? One orgasm after another with little downtime? (Is that even possible? Most women are so sensitive after having an orgasm!) Anyway, if it exists, is there a way I can become multi-orgasmic?" To hear Dr. Glickman's response, read more

Part of the challenge in defining “multiple orgasms” is that different people use the term to mean different things. For some women, it means more than one orgasm during a single sex session, whether they’re 5 minutes or 30 minutes (or more) apart. For other women, it means one after another, without much time between them.

You’re right that many women are extra sensitive after an orgasm, but not everyone. In fact, some women find that they can just keep going, especially if they change what they’re doing. For example, someone might find that she can have an orgasm from clitoral stimulation and then switch to penetration for a second one. Or maybe she might have one orgasm from oral sex, take a break for a bit with something else to keep the passion up, and then go back to oral sex for a second orgasm. And there are women out there who don’t need a break after one orgasm before they start building towards a second one.

Not all women can become multi-orgasmic, but many women can. Some women find that their ability to be multi-orgasmic can change over time, too. So if it doesn’t happen for you now, don’t stress about it. You may find that in a few years, something changes and suddenly, it falls into place.

One really great place to look for more info on how to do it is Mantak Chia’s book The Multi-Orgasmic Woman. He approaches sex from the Taoist tradition, which works with sexuality as a form of energy that we can learn to channel, harness, and expand. If you’re familiar with energetic practices such as yoga, this perspective might be familiar. He has a book for men and one for male/female couples, too.

Another place you could look for information about this is Tantra. While most people only know about Tantra as a laundry list of sex positions from the Kama Sutra, there’s actually a lot more to it than that. Tantra is a set of practices that teach you to work with your sexual energy and it can help you expand your ability to experience pleasure, deepen intimacy, and have multiple orgasms. There are some good books like Urban Tantra and Tantric Sex for Women, as well as some DVDs.

In my experience, the best way to learn about Tantra is through experiential workshops because these are techniques that are much easier to understand when someone is demonstrating them. Most Tantra classes are fully-clothed and many are designed for people to come solo, while others are for couples. You can find out more about Tantra or look for workshop teachers on www.tantra.com.

One thing that I do want to be clear on: not everyone can become multi-orgasmic. If it doesn’t happen for you, there’s nothing wrong with you. I’ve seen a lot of people become very goal-oriented about it and they often end up sabotaging themselves because they’re not actually enjoying the sex that they’re having. So I encourage you to try it out and see what works for you, but don’t get so caught up in it that you forget to have fun. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Do You Have Multiple Orgasms?

DearSugar — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 08:00:00 -0700

Remember when I told you about what happens when a woman has an orgasm? Well being that it's the 4th of July, that got me thinking about another delectable thought - multiple orgasms! While some women have a hard time even having one orgasm during sex, many have been known to have more than one during a sexual escapade.
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What about you? What I want to know is...

Dear Poll: Are You Able to Have Multiple Orgasms?

DearSugar — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 13:30:00 -0700

Let's face it, reaching the big O isn't easy for everyone, which is why it's so unfair that many women have been known to have more than one during a single sexual escapade! Something tells me it's not all that common though, so let's vote - are you able to have multiple orgasms?

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Sexual Response Cycle: What Happens Before, During, and After Your Orgasm

DearSugar — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 11:00:00 -0700

When I first learned what happens physiologically when we’re turned on, my initial response was, “oh, so that’s what’s going on.” If you’ve never learned the details of your body’s sexual-response cycle than I think you might have the same reaction I did. If you have, it’s never bad to get a reminder on just how incredible our bods are! To learn the basics about all four stages, read more.

Excitement: This phase is what you could consider as the foreplay portion. This is when muscle tension starts to build, blood rushes to your genitals and breasts, lubrication kicks into gear, and of course, your resting heart rate increases.
Plateau: Ever feel like you just get stuck right before an orgasm? You’re probably trapped in the plateau phase, which occurs immediately preceding the big "O." This phase is marked by escalation of the traits in the excitement phase as well as muscle spasms. At this point the clitoris becomes highly sensitive, and in some cases, painful to the touch.
Orgasm: Although fairly self-explanatory, during an orgasm your heart rate increases, accompanied by rapid breathing. Your body experiences many involuntary muscle contractions, specifically in the vagina and uterus.
Resolution: The final phase is simply your body returning to its normal resting state. And it’s usually a time of good feelings and fatigue. Many women can easily return to the orgasm phase at this point, thus experiencing multiple orgasms.

Both men and women go through these same four stages, though obviously, men are marked by a series of different reactions specific to the male body. It’s most important to note that the time that each of these phases occur will vary for men and women. Being able to understand where your partner is versus where you are in the cycle can truly enhance your sexual experiences.

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Where Do You Stand: Sexual Satisfaction

DearSugar — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Though some women are unable to achieve an orgasm, others are blessed with the ability to have multiple. And while vaginal sex can sometimes provide enough stimulation, often direct clitoral contact is necessary. In other words, women are created differently, and of course, it follows suit that the definition of sexual satisfaction varies from woman to woman. We all have different preferences, too! So where do you stand when it comes to reaching sexual satisfaction without an orgasm? Is an orgasm the real culmination of a sexual experience? Or do you think it has more to do with arousal and intimacy?

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Tantric Sex Anyone?

DearSugar — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 08:00:00 -0700

Those very words conjure up sensuous and erotic scenes in my mind of intermingling bodies, moist skin, and silky sheets - but Tantra is not just about having mind-blowing orgasms.....

Tantra is a Sanskrit word meaning "weaving," or " expansion." Tantrism is a philosophy and way of life that's all about completely awakening the senses, like a form of meditation. Tantrists see sex as a sacred way to awaken the energy inside them, so that they reach spiritual enlightenment and ecstasy. You don't necessarily have to see it like that, but you can learn from these ancient sexual techniques to improve your own sex life.

Tantric Sex is like a dance with no beginning or end. There is no goal, only the present moment and the spiritual connection you are making -- it isn't just about having an orgasm as quickly as possible. Instead you focus on being completely intimate and connected to your partner -- just being in the moment, together. You harmonize your breath, gaze into each other's eyes, anything that turns you on in preparation for lovemaking so you can communicate on a deeply physical and emotional level.

I'm just getting started so read more

Once you have established that deep connection, then you can slip into actual lovemaking. Tantric Sex encourages you to move slowly and change up your positions. In order for the male to be able to have continuous sex for an extended period of time, the guy has to learn how to have orgasms without ejaculating. This is how you can both reach multiple orgasms. "Practice makes perfect" is the key factor here!

Well, that's as much detail as I can give you!! If I've piqued your curiosity and you want to know more about the specific techniques, I'd check out one of the many books about Tantric Sex like this one called The Art of Tantric Sex. Have fun and enjoy!!

DEARSUGAR Needs Your Help: A Little Give and Take

DearSugar — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 15:00:00 -0800

DEARSUGAR and Anti Oral Sex Anita need your help. Her boyfriend isn't satisfied in the sack and he's asked her to perform oral sex on him. This is something that she not only dislikes, but really has no idea how to do it well. Since sex isn't just one sided, rather, it's a two way street, can you ladies help her out...but please, let's keep it tasteful.

Dear Sugar
I've been dating my boyfriend for six months now and we are having sex (great sex to be frank)! The problem is that he has told me that he thinks I am selfish in bed and I am not sure how to fix this. He tells me that he spoils me by giving me multiple orgasms multiple times and that he gives into me when I want to keep at it for hours on end (what can I say, I really love sex).

Neither one of us has performed oral sex on one another and I never ask him to do it because I really don't need it and also, I don't want to have to do it to him, I think it's awful. He tells me that he totally understands, however, recently, we had a long conversation and he told me that he really does want oral sex and he feels that it's selfish of me to abstain from it just because it's not my favorite thing to do.

I told him that he does a fabulous job of pleasing me and he told me that I don't fulfill him. He continued on to say that he feels that I don't go the extra mile to satisfy him and I was speechless. I really care about him and I want us both to be happy when it comes to sex.

I don't want to be selfish, I'm just not into doing it. I guess if I want to keep him though, I'd better start taking some action. Can you guys help me though. To be honest, I have no clue how to do it well. Can you please help me out? Anti Oral Sex Anita

A G-Shot in Your G-Spot?

DearSugar — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 11:00:00 -0700

Although there is some debate as to whether or not the G-spot really exists, I'm a firm believer it does, and so is Dr. Matlock, a plastic surgeon known for his appearances on Dr. 90210. He and other cosmetic doctors are so sure of its existence that they have been giving G-shots in women's G-spots!

What is a G-shot you might ask? Basically you have to spread em' as if you were going to get a Pap smear, and your G-spot gets injected with a dollop of collagen (yes it's a shot). It's the same stuff they use to plump up thin lips.

For $1,850, the collagen supposedly increases the size of your G-spot for up to four months and makes your lady business much more sensitive to all movements ... yoga classes, trips on bumpy roads, and bike rides never felt so good! As for sex, some women claim that the G-Shot gives them the most amazing, volcanic, multiple orgasms they've ever had.

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want a shot of anything coming anywhere near my cootchie, even if better sex was the prize. What if I got the shot and had mind-blowing sex, then what? I'd have to spend thousands of dollars each year to keep up my wonderful sex life. Plus who knows if there are any long-term side effects. I think I prefer to have great sex the old fashioned way. How about you? Would you be interested in getting the G-shot?

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