TresSugar

Where Do You Stand: Dating Mr. Right-For-Now

DearSugar — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800

Finding Mr. Right is no easy feat, and sometimes you end up dating a guy who may be fun and sweet, even though you know in your heart he's not the man you want to end up with.

But is there anything wrong with enjoying the time you spend together and "loving the one you're with," or do you think it's unfair to both of you to stay in a relationship that you know won't result in marriage?

Source

Do Tell: Are You Always Prepared?

DearSugar — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

You really never know when, where, or how you will meet Mr. Right. I've offered up my fair share of advice on where eligible men could be hiding, but it's important to do your part, too. Of course being approachable is crucial, but so is being the best you at all times - you know, just in case! Now I've never been one to put on my face so to speak before leaving the house, but I have some friends that are perfectly coiffed at all times, even if they're just going to the gym or running to the store to buy eggs. So what about you? Do you aim to look your best at all times, keeping a lipstick and compact close by, just in case you bump into a possible suitor?

Source

Do You Believe in Love at First Sight?

DearSugar — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 10:41:23 -0700

Love and attraction are two different things. I do believe in attraction at first sight. You can definitely see someone from across the room, like the way they look and want to meet them. After you meet, you could start dating which could eventually lead to falling in love, but I feel as if you can't truly love someone unless you know him or her.

So I'm curious. Do you believe in love at first sight? Do you think it's possible to see Mr. or Mrs. Right from afar and just know instantly that they're "the one"?

Source

How Did You Meet Your Hubby?

DearSugar — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 08:00:00 -0700

With all the press out there, chances are you've heard about Bravo's new show The Rachel Zoe Project, starring none other than the famous stylist to the stars, Rachel Zoe! Fab's been teasing you with some great tidbits from their little chat, but I've got some juicy information to share too!

As I've said a million times before, you never know when you're going to meet Mr. Right, so you might be surprised to hear where Rachel met her husband of 16 years! If you're curious, read more.

You mentioned you guys have been together since you were 20. Tell me, how did you guys get together when you were 20?

"We have our 16-year anniversary next Friday. Yeah. I was at George Washington University, undergrad, and he was in Grad School. And I stayed for a Summer to take some classes and I wanted to meet some people outside of school. And I got a job as a hostess at a restaurant, and he was a waiter. And that is how we met."

So what about all of you married women out there? Where and how did you meet your hubby?

Source

Some Contemplate Mr. Right Now

TresSugar — Tue, 26 May 2009 15:19:39 -0700

Is it better to live with a less-than-perfect match than to be single? The question is often answered with a guttural and emphatic no in public, but privately, it's probably wrestled with more often than you'd think by those who have contemplated forever.

In an article in the Daily Mail, 38-year-old British writer Lucy Taylor said that she is close to settling for Mr. Not Quite Right But Will Do Because My Time Is Running Out. (I would really hate to be Mr. NQRBWDBMTIRO this morning!) If Lucy doesn't feel romantic love or physical attraction for this guy (two components required to reach the attachment phase), I wonder if marriage makes sense.

Maybe at some point, you have to ~~get practical and come to terms with the shortcomings of any relationship~~ settle. So if romantic love or physical attraction weren't there to begin with, is a long-term commitment possible or even desirable?

Source

What Does Your Mr. Right Look Like?

DearSugar — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 06:00:00 -0700

I caught up on Monday's Oprah last night and her guest, Steve Harvey, gave us all a glimpse into the male psyche as he answered a bunch of burning questions about love from an audience full of women. One in particular came to the show with a list of 43 requirements that her dream guy must posses, which included his height, his religious beliefs, his bank account, her need for him to be independent, to be family-oriented, honest, trustworthy, romantic, and clean - just to name a few. Steve sure did get a kick out of it, but this woman was serious - she wants to find Mr. Perfect! I think we all know that there is no such thing as perfection, but there is someone out there that's perfect for you and me. So ladies, if you were to come up with a list of your own, what would your Mr. Right look like?

Source

Book About Finding Mr. Right Disprupts Egypt's Boys Club

LibertySugar — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 15:45:08 -0700

Young Egyptian men work years to save enough money for marriage, an event that certifies manhood. But Egyptian society often treats women as mere objects to marry, and teaches young girls that their futures rely on becoming a bride. Twenty-nine-year-old Ghada Abdelaal has turned the tables - the female author wrote I Want to Get Married, a fun book which challenges Egypt's patriarchal norms, showing that Egyptian women have desires similar to men. The popular book about looking for Mr. Right, began as a blog, and Ghada is now making her story of entertaining Egyptian characters into a sitcom.

The book speaks to the crises surrounding marriage in Egypt. Young people cannot get married until they save enough to buy a pricey apartment. Marriages are often arranged between strangers and Egypt's newlywed divorce rate is high. One Egyptian sociologist believes high levels of sexual harassment of women and rape result from conservative norms, including no sex before marriage. Others blame violence on gender disparity, instead of sexual frustration.

Perhaps the humor and entertainment featured in Ghada's book will help Egypt shed some of its oppressive norms.

Source

Could Mr. Right Be Right In Front Of Me?

DearSugar — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 12:12:08 -0800

Dear Sugar
Over the past year, I have become really close with one of my guy friends who I have always had a little crush on. People always ask us if we are together and tell us we would be the best couple, but we have always been nothing more than just friends.

I have never said anything about my feelings towards him because I didn't want to ruin our friendship, but as more and more people refer to us as a couple, the more I wonder if he has a crush on me as well.

Whenever we are together, which is more times than not, he is nothing but a gentleman, opening doors for me, paying for my meals, and always the first person to stand up for me. Sometimes I think his actions are brother-like, but other times I think real feelings are there. Should I take a chance with him or should I keep our relationship in the friend zone? Crushing Carrie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear Crushing Carrie
The only way you will know if your best bud is crushing on you too is by taking a risk and asking him. Chances are that he also hears what people are saying about the two of you and he could be pondering the same thing you are. Dating your best friend is every girl's dream, so what do you have to lose?

Sometimes Mr. Right is staring you right in the face! Since this can be a nerve wracking conversation be confident and honest. Try saying something like this:

"I have debated whether or not I should say something to you about the way I have been feeling, but I can't keep quiet anymore. You are such an incredible friend to me and I have to come clean with my crush on you. My feelings for you have developed into more than just friendly feelings this year and I thought I would confess to you with the hopes that you share my feelings."

Since you could be catching him quite off guard, be prepared if you don't get the response you were hoping for. His flirtatious ways could be just that, so if he wants to just stay friends, you are going to have to respect his wishes. Going out of your comfort zone is sometimes difficult, but hopefully he feels the same way and your honesty will be worth the risk in the long run. Good luck.

Mr. Right, But Not Right Now

DearSugar — Wed, 02 Aug 2006 13:31:42 -0700

Dear Sugar
I met an amazing guy almost immediately after a break up. I had just gotten out of a 3 1/2 year relationship and wasn't emotionally ready to start something right away, but at the same time he's too good to let go.

It's been five months and I am finally starting to see a future with him. But ... I don't know if I am ready to be a girlfriend again. I still think that I want more time to focus on myself, yet I don't want to let him go.

How can I keep him interested and grow closer to him while managing to keep enough distance between us so I feel independent? Conflicted Carys

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear Conflicted Carys
Nice work - you've got yourself a keeper. He's been patient with you through your many breakdowns post break-up and has still stuck by your side. He must really like you. I am sure he sees that your traffic light is yellow: and that he's proceeding with caution.

Now it's time for you to throw him a bone. You need to make a choice. Are you ready for love again or not? You can't keep stringing him along; it's not fair to either one of you. Plus, how passionate can you actually be if something is holding you back from taking things to the next level?

If time is what you need, then take it and be alone until you can see what you're missing. Timing is everything and unfortunately, you can't help that you met him when you did.

Taking a break may be just the clarity that you are seeking. Just realize, that you are risking that Mr. Right might take flight and become someone else's Prince Charming. I believe that everything happens the way they do for a reason; have faith and listen to your gut instincts for guidance.

Study Says: Single Women More Likely to Pursue Taken Men

TresSugar — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 11:00:00 -0700

As if single women were not stigmatized enough, researchers at Oklahoma State University, likening single women to certain species of "mate-poaching" birds and fish, claim that a study they conducted reveals that single women are more likely to pursue men who are taken than single.

Melissa Burkley, who conducted the study with her colleague Jessica Parker, told 184 heterosexual university student participants they would be involved in a study on sexual attraction. The volunteers (equal numbers men and women, half attached and half single), were told that a computer program would match them with an ideal partner.

The same photograph of Mr. Right and Ms. Right were presented to the respective groups. Half of them were told these ideal mates were single, the other half were told they were in romantic relationships. The results? When told Mr. Right was single, 59 percent of the single women were interested in pursuing a relationship, but a whopping 90 percent were interested when told he was attached. Men didn't seem to care either way, and the attached women in the groups seemed to slightly favor single men. To hear what the researchers had to say about the results, read more.

So what do researchers Burkley and Parker make of the results? They hypothesize that single women might be more drawn to attached men because they've been "prescreened' by other women.

Perhaps I don't know enough about research methods, but how does this speculation arise from the results? Also, although these researchers asked participants whether they'd actually pursue a relationship rather than merely ask if they found the ideal mates attractive as previous studies had, what does that mean exactly? They might consider it - but I find it hard to believe 90 percent of women would actually go after an attached man. What do you think about this study and whether or not it would actually translate into real-world action?