TresSugar

Where Do You Stand? Sending a Lover Nude Photos

DearSugar — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 09:00:00 -0800

We all have our own feelings about nudity. While some of you have no problem stripping down in front of a new guy or changing at the gym, others are more modest, keeping yourselves covered until you trust a person enough to see the real you. Being naked can be very freeing though, which is one of the reasons sex is so exciting, special, and arousing, but would you try to capture those feelings in print? Ladies, where do you stand on sending nude photos of yourself to someone you're in a relationship with?

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You Asked: I Can't Accept a Compliment

DearSugar — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

When someone compliments me, I get extremely uncomfortable and don't know what to say. I know it's all a matter of insecurity, but I don't see myself as insecure. I love my appearance and who I am on the inside, but for some reason I just cannot accept flattery. I started dating a new guy and he's constantly complimenting me, which makes me feel good, but also incredibly awkward. I am literally incapable of just saying thank you.

To make things even more challenging, I was recently at dinner with family and friends to celebrate the beginning of my sister's new company. In front of over 100 people she asked me and my younger sister to be the faces for her ad campaign. I immediately declined - in a very respectful way. It would have been fun, but I just can't help but feel like someone else might have deserved it more. I don't want to miss opportunities because I have this complex! How can I learn to just take a compliment?

- Compliment Complex Casandra

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Compliment Complex Casandra,

Though I certainly think insecurity can play a role in not being able to take a compliment, I also think much of accepting flattery is simply learning how to properly give a gracious "thank you." From a young age we're taught that there's nothing worse than an immodest woman, and thus we learn to think that by agreeing with a compliment, we're both conceited and impolite. But it's time for ladies to learn that responding graciously to flattery is far better than averting our eyes or downplaying ourselves.

Next time you a receive a compliment, remember that there's nothing wrong with saying thanks. There's no need to agree with the person or go on and on; you can simply acknowledge that what they said was meant to flatter you. In fact, it'll will be far less awkward to offer a thank you than dodging the statement. The more you do this, the easier it will get, but it does take a conscious desire to change, so keep at it.

As far as working with your sister's concerned, why not see if the position is still available? There's nothing wrong with changing your mine and taking a little credit. Plus, it never hurts to ask!

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Dear Quiz: Are You Too Modest?

DearSugar — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Modesty can be a virtue when it comes to accepting compliments and tooting your own horn. But when we're talking about physical modesty, it is possible to be too modest or not modest enough? Do you flaunt your nudity with abandon or cover up every chance you get? Take my quiz to find out how modest you really are.

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How do you go about changing clothes at the gym?

I strip off all my street clothes, then put on my gym clothes.

I gradually and subtly switch from one outfit to the other.

I change clothes in a bathroom stall.

I don't really think about it; I just change.

What do you typically wear when you go swimming?

A swimsuit.

A swimsuit with a T-shirt or other coverup.

As little as possible.

A swimsuit with shorts.

How do you feel about getting a massage?

It freaks me out; I don't get them.

It's great, and I love the freedom of being nude.

It's nice, but I prefer to get under the covers before the massage therapist comes in.

They are nice, but I refuse to take off all my clothes.

When someone points a camera at you, what's your typical response?

I smile!

I strike a pose.

I get annoyed.

I put my hand over my face and say "stop it!"

You are sharing a beach house with a group of girlfriends. One of them needs to come into the bathroom while you're showering. What's your response?

You make her wait until you are done.

You let her come in and chat while you shower.

You let her come in and stay to talk while you towel off.

You shout, "Noooo! Get out of here!"

Do Tell: Have You Ever Been Caught Naked?

DearSugar — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 07:00:00 -0800

I feel totally comfortable being naked. I walk around my apartment naked while I'm getting ready to go out, and I have no problem being nude in a changing room, but I would, however, have a problem if someone were to unexpectedly catch me in the buff. So ladies, do tell: Have you ever been caught in the nude by your boyfriend's dad, the mail man, or even your little brother?

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Website du Jour: Stop Making That Duckface

TresSugar — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:00:00 -0800

You know you've seen it. You might even be guilty of perpetrating it. I'm talking about what the site Anti-duckface.com calls the "duck face," which they describe as something between a kissy face and a pout.

Anti-duckface seems to blame MySpace for hosting duckfaces, admonishing its pouters to, "Stop doing it. It isn't sexy."

All this prompted me to ask: why duckface? My theory is that it's a mock sexy face. People want to look sexy, but they also want to appear modest, so duckface is some weird (failed) compromise. In any case, here's to hoping this is the first nail in the coffin of duckface. It's time to end this blight to humanity.

Do Tell: At What Age Did You Feel "Grown-Up"?

TresSugar — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 08:00:00 -0700

Almost everyone reaches a point in her life when she finally feels grown-up. It could happen during a milestone moment like leaving home, graduating from college, getting her first job or during a more modest, non-Kodak moment like cooking her first gourmet meal for herself or traveling alone for the first time.

Some people can go forever without feeling like adults, forever stuck in childhood patterns or not realizing that there won't be a magic moment when everything is perfect. Many of us, though, can think of a period in our lives when we said, "Wow. I'm really an adult."

At what age did you feel grown-up? What made you feel that way?

Potbellies Are In! . . . For Men

TresSugar — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 10:00:00 -0700

This week's New York Times style section reports on the latest hipster trend - potbellies! And no, I'm not talking about the pigs.

"Too pronounced to be blamed on the slouchy cut of a t-shirt" and "too modest in size to be termed a proper beer gut" the potbelly - dubbed the "Ralph Kramden" - is the latest addition to the hipster uniform. The article also randomly suggests that Barack Obama is to blame, because contrarian hipsters want to contrast themselves with a president who hits the gym every morning. But don't get too excited - according to the article, only men get a style dispensation from crunches. Here's more:

Leading with a belly is a male privilege of long standing, of course, a symbol of prosperity in most cultures and of freedom from anxieties about body image that have plagued women since Eve.

Along with not bathing and not shaving, hipster men now have made it "cool" to rock a potbelly. How alternative.

Front Page: France Says Au Revoir to Topless Sunbathing

TresSugar — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 08:00:58 -0700

The French media is mourning the end of topless sunbathing, as younger women have become more modest about their bathing suit choices. - The Times
North Korea's foreign minister has called Hillary Clinton vulgar and unintelligent. - Washington Post
President Obama gave a prime time press conference on health care reform last night. He made his case for reform but also left some questions about the details unanswered. - Huffington Post
Actress Jamie Lee Curtis has admitted that she once was addicted to painkillers. - People
The officer who arrested Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. says he is not a racist and that he will not apologize. - Boston Globe

Disneyland: The Flashiest Place on Earth?

TresSugar — Wed, 06 May 2009 14:00:00 -0700

Are you the type of woman who likes to flash the cameras taking souvenir photos at theme parks? Well, you can now let your ~~freak~~ flash flag fly - at Disneyland, at least.

This week, Disney announced that it is ceasing its decade-old practice of scanning for bare breasts on the Splash Mountain, Tower of Terror, Space Mountain, and California Screamin' rides. Here's more from the happiest place on earth:

Disney confirmed Tuesday that it has reassigned employees at Disneyland and Disney's California Adventure who watched for breast-baring riders because "actual inappropriate behaviors by guests are rare."

Riders are photographed on the attractions and can then buy souvenir copies. Some have exposed their breasts in hopes that the picture would make it onto a photo preview screen at the ride's exit.

OK, now I gotta ask: Have any of you ever flashed a camera while on a theme park ride? You can comment anonymously if you're modest - though I doubt you're that modest.

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(Syrian) Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

TresSugar — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Bombarded with images of scantily clad women on billboards, television, and magazines, it makes sense that some women who live in liberal societies like the US succumb to lingerie's lure.

You may be surprised to hear, though, that even women who reside in extremely modest countries in the Middle East have the hots for seductive and sexy undergarments.

In Syria, where women often wear veils and long robes, the demand for push-up bras, leather outfits, whips, and edible underwear is on the rise.

After her wedding, a Syrian woman traditionally brings a trunk full of underwear to her husband's home. Some shop owners say that the Internet has added fuel to their imaginations and in turn altered the tradition. Now, some Syrian women don't want just any old underwear - they want the latest in kinky lingerie.

What do you think it is about lingerie that makes some women desire it, even if it's often invisible to everyone else?

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