TresSugar

10 Words to Avoid in Front of Your Kids

LilSugar — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 08:34:58 PDT

Out of the mouths of babes . . . As parents, we know that anything that's uttered within earshot of our kids is fair game for repetition. And while eliminating all of those four-letter favorites is a no-brainer, there are plenty of others that can be just as damaging. Here, the 10 words we suggest that you ban from your vocabulary in front of your kids.

Hate: You might be talking about rush hour traffic, a line at the grocery store, or a bad commercial on TV. But when it's used to talk about a classmate, teacher, or birthday gift, "hate" can be terribly hurtful.
Stupid: There's not much that's less appreciated than being called "stupid," and this is one that lil ones tend to enjoy repeating . . . again and again and again.
Retard: A word that's so offensive, there's an entire website devoted to banishing it. If you haven't already done so, you should get on board and eliminate the R-word from your adult vocabulary as well.
Gay: Unless your child is old enough to have a conversation about homosexuality, chances are, the word "gay" is going to be misused in a potentially hurtful (not to mention, incorrect) manner.
Loser: With bullying at the forefront of most parents' minds, putting down someone's self-esteem is something that you, and your kids, should never be a part of.
Dumb: See above.
No: We know you're not actually going to eliminate the word "no" from your repertoire. But try to limit its frequency. It seems to roll off the tips of toddlers' tongues way too easily.
Shut up: Make this a forbidden phrase now to avoid its overuse later. Tweens tend to enjoy overusing it at times when it doesn't even really make sense (think: "He asked her out?! Shut up!").
God (as in "Oh my God!"): If religion is present in your home, the word "God" will be, too. However, try not to use it as an exclamation of excitement or surprise. Even if "Oh my God!" doesn't bother you personally, you never know when it will come off offensive to someone else.
Bad: Like "no," it's one that's inevitably going to come up, but shouldn't be used excessively. Being told that you're "bad" repeatedly can be totally demoralizing for a child (or anyone, for that matter).

How to Teach Your Kids Gratitude

LilSugar — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 05:56:25 PST

In this age of instant gratification, encourage your kids to learn and practice simple acts of gratitude. Not only will it help build and improve their value systems, but it's also a great way to help them find more happiness in the everyday. Follow these five easy tips to inspire more thank-yous.

Volunteer as a family. Sign up for a local food drive or a 5K dedicated to a cause. Make it a family affair so that your kids are aware of those who are less fortunate. Participating in philanthropic activities will teach them the importance of giving back and the joy in helping others.
Give them a gratitude journal. Buy your children a gratitude journal and encourage them to write down what they're thankful for at the end of each day. Sitting down and thinking about what matters most to them will help to boost their mood and strengthen their appreciation.
Be a stickler for thank-you notes. Invest in some cute personalized thank-you cards for your kids to help them get in the stationery-sending habit. Don't restrict it to birthday or holiday gifts, either. Prod them to send cards throughout the year for smaller, less obvious things, too - for instance, to a babysitter who takes them on a special excursion.
Point out the little things. Encourage your kids to appreciate life's smallest pleasures by drawing attention to them throughout the day. Mention how nice it is to walk in the sun or sip freshly squeezed orange juice. By regularly identifying what you're personally thankful for, you welcome them to do the same.
Serve as an example. Be the person who brings the hostess a gift and sends flowers to those who go above and beyond. Tell your children why you're doing it so that they learn about common niceties and understand the practice of showing gratitude.

Source: Flickr User Vistamommy

Should Kids Be Calling Their Teachers by Their First Names?

Rebecca M Gruber — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 09:15:46 PDT

Growing up, my teachers would call class to order with a resounding, "Good morning class." We would reply in an off-key chorus of, "Good morning, Miss Hill." The formality of those classroom greetings was not lost on me, as most adults I met were referred to with a title of mister or misses. Over the years, I've moved beyond those elementary school greetings, and it appears many schools have, too.

Though most LilSugar readers told us they introduce their kids to strangers with formal titles, schools may take a less-formal route these days. At preschool, my son was instructed to call his teachers by their first names. Now that we are entering kindergarten, our class assignment lists Miss Lisa and Miss Jessica as his instructors. While I certainly understand the casual names are easier for kids, in some ways, I miss the respect associated with a proper name. Do you?

Holiday Etiquette For Kids . . . Parents Give Their Opinions!

Heather Maddan — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 12:00:28 PST

Holidays have gone to the kids - and they should, right? From tots popping out of their seats during meals to wee ones eager to rip open their presents, the festive time of year can be a bit draining on parents. We asked moms what is appropriate (and realistic!) in their homes when it comes to dressing up and saying thank you. Here is what they had to say!

Wondering what's in the big box can drive a child wild, so 82 percent of mamas let their children open their gifts before the adults do.
When adults sit down to dinner, they tend to lounge a lot longer than lil ones. Since children like to eat and retreat, 90 percent of mothers excuse their tots from the table and continue with their meal and conversation.
Dressing to the nines isn't always the most comfy option for kids! Many a dapper lil guy has fought the shirt and tie in favor of more practical clothes, but 83 percent of mums say kids should dress their best.
It's tough for a tot to sit still in church! When it comes to holiday worship, 50 percent of moms take their kiddos to adult services.
Small hands aren't very fast at writing thank-you notes, but kids sure like chatting on the phone. Sixty percent of mothers allow their children to call and express their thanks in lieu of penning them on paper.

Holiday Etiquette For Kids...Chime In With Your Opinion!

Heather Maddan — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 06:00:00 PST

Holidays have gone to the kids - and they should, right? From tots popping out of their seats during meals to wee ones eager to rip open their presents, the festive time of year can be a bit draining on parents. We're curious what is appropriate (and realistic!) in your home when it comes to dressing up and saying thank you. Tell us!

Is Teaching Children to Be Traditionally Chivalrous Sexist?

Heather Maddan — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 05:00:00 PST

Chivalry hasn't died, but is teaching it (in the traditional form) to kids sexist? Eighty-seven percent of LilSugar mamas said they are raising their sons to be well-mannered men - the type who offer their jacket to their date or pull a chair out as she is seated at the table. In this modern world, should mothers also teach their daughters to extend the same niceties of holding the door and picking up a dinner tab since couples aren't always made up of a man and a woman? What's your opinion?

Expert Holiday Etiquette Tips For Children

Heather Maddan — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 14:00:55 PST

The holidays can be hectic for a mama - especially if she's trying to keep her excited tots seated during a long meal or from unwrapping their presents! We asked Lisa Gaché, the founder of Beverly Hills Manners, a company that makes learning fun for children, for her thoughts on realistic expectations. Check out her advice on everything from holiday attire to the gift exchange.

Mind Your Mom Manners: Rude Things Mothers Do

LilSugar — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 09:00:34 PDT

Whether we want to admit it or not, motherhood changes us all. Most of the life alterations are for the better, but some things are for the worse. Though they may be unintentional or unavoidable, when children come first - a few common courtesies are tabled. Check out the things many mamas end up doing.

Forget about thank-you notes: We crossed all our "ts" and dotted every "i" in a timely matter pre-tot, but once babe took over our thank-you notes took a hiatus or fell into the "better late than never" category.

Eat and run: We enjoyed leisurely meals and lingering conversation while eating out with friends, then children came and the words "check, please!" followed by an abrupt exit became more common.

Interrupt conversations constantly: It's almost impossible to concentrate and express complete thoughts while carrying on a conversation when your tots are asking for help, swinging from the monkey bars or screaming.

Space out: We may be in a business meeting or engaging in chitchat, but our minds wander elsewhere - to the carpool rotation, the permission slip left on the kitchen counter or our infant's diaper rash.

Pull the mom card: Never missed a birthday fete, holiday soiree, or girlfriend get together before baby, but now our lil ones take priority and hiring a pricey sitter or gussying up after a sleepless night doesn't sound at all appealing.

To see the rest of our list,

Shout in public: Hitting the mall for a shopping stroll changes when tots are in tow. Mums who never said boo before baby suddenly find themselves frantically shouting safety precautions, "Joey, do NOT step on that escalator - you will fall!" or "OMG! Where's Hannah? She was just right next to me. HANNAH? HANNAH?"

Stroller rollover: Size does matter when it comes to strollers, and since stores have aisles that barely accommodate them, it's impossible for a mama to see every foot or knee cap that is in the way when she swings the buggy around to make an exit. Unfortunately and unintentionally, a stranger's toe occasionally falls victim to the rubber wheel.

Talk, talk, and talk about their tots: Once a woman has kids, they inevitably become the topic of chitchat. What can possibly top having created human beings?

Hold up the line: Whether mom's in the bathroom stall or the dressing room, peeing and slipping into clothes with an entourage takes a bit longer - especially when the kiddos expect to be entertained.

Are tardy: Getting out the door suddenly takes a little or a lot longer. Last-minute diaper blowouts, spit-up stains, and tot tantrums can set mamas back no matter how much time they've allotted.

Chivalry Isn't Dead: What Moms Should Teach Their Sons

LilSugar — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 06:00:21 PDT

It's a modern world, but has chivalry died? Eighty-seven percent of LilSugar readers said it isn't so and that they are teaching their sons to be well-mannered men. We asked Lisa Gaché, the founder of Beverly Hills Manners, a company that makes learning fun for children, her thoughts. She said:

Chivalry never goes out of style, so moms take note! In fact, it is perhaps more vital than ever to teach these skills to today’s young men. With technology making it easy to text an invitation to dinner rather than picking up the phone or emailing a thank you note in favor of mailing a handwritten one, good old-fashioned manners have been slowly slipping by the wayside, much to our detriment. To combat this downward spiral, here are 10 ways to instill the importance of chivalrous behavior and turn these impressionable boys into true gentlemen.

Look the Part - First impressions mean everything and there is no better way to communicate confidence than through a young man’s overall presentation. Good posture gives the appearance of looking taller and stronger and being well-groomed displays respect for oneself. The challenge is to strike a healthy balance between caring about such things as personal hygiene and wardrobe selection without appearing too perfectly put together or looking like you made too much of an effort.

Hold the Door Open - In today’s world, young men are dealing with the delicate dance of knowing how to treat a lady without making her feel helpless. There are many ways in which he may demonstrate this behavior from opening a door for a woman, to helping carry heavy packages or assisting with putting on a coat. The understanding is that each of these gestures is made with the sole purpose of aiding the comfort level of his companion.

Walk Curbside - A gentleman makes sure his companion’s safety is attended to before his own. Walking on the curbside of the pavement is a practical measure to avoid any accidental missteps and also to protect a lady’s clothing from soiling due to mud or water erupting from drivers passing by.

To see the rest of Lisa's pointers,

Pull Out a Chair - The dining experience is crucial to the dating process as it allows the gentlemen plenty of opportunity to display chivalrous behavior. A true gentleman should let the maître’d escort his companion to the table first while he follows behind. Once at the table, he offers to seat his companion by pulling out the chair with two hands and gently pushing the lady in.

Stand for All Introductions - To show respect for others, a gentleman stands for all introductions as well as goodbyes. At a restaurant, he would stand each time his companion rises out of her chair to leave the table or returns to the table. In the workplace, he would stand to greet co-workers and clients.

Wait for a Lady to Extend Her Hand - The handshake is the most universal gesture for greeting another person. A gentleman always waits for a lady to initiate the handshake because he should never presume that the lady wishes to make any kind of physical contact.

Pay for A Meal - Whether inviting a companion to dinner or attending a dinner as a guest, a gentleman always pays and money is never a consideration. He is equally gracious and polite whether speaking to the wait staff at the restaurant or his invited guest. He is invested in the overall experience rather than scrutinizing each detail of the check with a fine tooth comb.

Make Polite Conversation - A gentleman easily makes pleasant conversation. He is cultured and well-versed to speak on a number of subjects. He shows interest in his companion by asking questions and being a good listener. He maintains excellent eye contact throughout their conversation making his companion feel like they are the only person in the room.

Show Consideration - A gentleman exhibits consideration for others by (a) using the words “please” and “thank you” liberally, (b) being respectful to women (c) being punctual and arriving on time to engagements, (d) refraining from texting, taking or making phone calls while in the company of others, (e) holding a door or elevator open for someone immediately behind them and (g) picking up and returning anything that another person has dropped.

Be a Natural - The gentleman displays the type of social confidence that is able to put others at ease while feeling completely comfortable with himself. He maintains a positive attitude and exudes a natural sense of calm and control. What makes him a natural is that he possesses a special magnetism that makes him at once exciting to be around and yet safe.

10 Tips and Reasons For Teaching Manners

LilSugar — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 06:00:12 PDT

Money can't buy manners, but it can afford some lessons! Lisa Taylor Richey, The Official Etiquette Ambassador for The Plaza Hotel in New York City offers children a week-long course (15 hours of instruction in everything from holding a fork to a offering to perfecting the handshake) at Charm School with Eloise for $495. Fees for the charm school include an Eloise handbook, a catered meal, a favor bag, a placemat, custom thank-you notes, and a daily cheat sheet for parents. We asked the founder of The American Academy of Etiquette to give us 10 tips to help moms teach their children manners and why the specific acts are important. Richey believes, "manners make you feel more confident and when you feel confident you become a leader." Check out her tips.