TresSugar

Things You Forget When You First Start Dating Someone

DearSugar — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 12:00:00 -0700

The thrill of meeting someone whom you connect with can be momentous. But it’s all too easy to let the adrenaline rush and dinner dates go to your head. Before you know it reality can get completely lost in all those exciting emotions, so here are a few reminders to keep you grounded when you first start dating someone.

Just because he’s not “the one” doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun for a little while. But do make sure that you’re both on the same wavelength to avoid any potential hurt feelings.
If you find yourself unsure about your feelings towards him that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s not “the one.”
People are imperfect - including you.
If you think something is a red flag then you’re probably right.
Attraction alone won’t cut it. No matter how hot he may be or how gorgeous he thinks you are, you’re going to need more eventually.
Your friends will notice if you suddenly start bailing on them.
Giving into your lust isn't always a bad idea, but confusing lust with love is never a good move.
Your friends don’t always know what’s best, but sometimes they really do!

Though dating may be nerve wracking, it should be more fun than not! If you have a reminder for all the newly dating ladies, please share in the comments below!

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Do Tell: What's Your Definition of Perfect Foreplay?

DearSugar — Sun, 25 May 2008 10:00:00 -0700

While quickies can be fun, I think there's something to be said for languishing in some serious foreplay. Not only does it really get you in the mood, but it's a great opportunity to communicate your needs to your partner.

I think foreplay is best when you take your time, letting a burst of intensity sneak in every once and a while, but some people like foreplay to be short and sweet. Every woman's different, and we all have our own set of likes and dislikes, so do tell: What's your definition of perfect foreplay?

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Dear Poll: Have You Ever Had a Sex Dream About Someone Surprising?

DearSugar — Mon, 19 May 2008 12:00:49 -0700

I think it’s safe to assume that the majority of us have had a sexy dream or two, whether we wake up before the climax or not! But perhaps the craziest part about sex dreams is that you have no control over who makes an appearance. Though we may hope that the object of lust is our significant other or crush, that doesn’t mean it always is. In fact, sometimes it’s a person you’d never thought of in that way before. Have you ever had a sex dream about someone you weren’t expecting?

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Do Tell: What Does Commitment Look Like?

DearSugar — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Yesterday Reuters reported on a study, showing that men and women can tell whether a member of the opposite sex is interested in long-term commitment or a fling simply by looking at them. The article notes:

Women found men with softer features more likely to opt for commitment . . . the research also showed that women who were open to short-term sexual relationships were usually seen as more attractive.

It seems that this perception is based on human instincts and the desire to mate; however, it got me wondering why people continually fall for someone who's not interested in the same level of commitment. If we can tell what a man wants just by looking at him, then how come so many of us keep going for the ones that are all wrong for us? Then again, do you really think you can see a guy across the room and, without even talking to him, know what kind of relationship he's looking for? Weigh in and tell me what you think!

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This or That: Love or Sex?

DearSugar — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 12:00:00 -0700

After a dry spell, you finally get back out on the dating scene again. You meet some okay guys, but they’re all pretty bland. What you really crave is excitement and some serious passion and then one day, you meet him. He makes you smile, and you really feel like you can be yourself around him. But as you get to know each other and the relationship unfolds, you discover one big bummer. Would it be worse if . . .

This: You’ve fallen in love with him, but the sex is just blah? You’ve never felt this way about anyone before, but you can think of a handful of people you’ve had more passion with.

Or . . .

That: The sex is absolutely stellar, but the rest of the time he feels more like an old friend? You’ve never been so sexually satisfied, but when you’re out of bed, you’re already losing interest.

Which would be worse?

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Dear Poll: Is Sex Better When You're in Love?

DearSugar — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 13:00:00 -0800

There seems to be some unspoken understanding that sex is better if you're in love with the person. Though I've found this to be the case, sex can also be amazingly fun with someone new or completely not your type. I know a few people that don't need that level of connectedness in order to be with someone, so ladies tell me, what's your vote? Does being in love actually make sex better?

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Romantic Gestures

DearSugar — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 16:00:00 -0800

With Valentine's Day lurking right around the corner, romance has been on everyone's mind. But it shouldn't take this holiday that comes once a year to remind us that a thoughtful gesture can mean the world to someone else. Society tends to assume that it's the man's responsibility, but I know many ladies who've taken the romance into their own hands with breathtaking gestures of love (or lust). So, let's set the record straight, what romantic moves have you played on your sweetheart?

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News to Me: America's Sexiest Cities

DearSugar — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 10:00:00 -0800

Following on the heels of America's most depressed states, a new study published in Forbes.com reveals America's most lustful cities, and they may not be what you were expecting. I was expecting to see San Francisco, LA, Las Vegas, or even Miami, but in fact those famous cities don't even make the list! Surprisingly, Denver, Colorado takes the number one spot; maybe it's all that cold weather. Forbes explains:

Residents of these metros enjoy vigorous sex lives--at least their condom and contraceptive purchases at grocery and drug stores indicate as much.

While they contend that using results based off purchases of contraception is not fault proof, it does give a general understanding of which cities get downright physical the most.

To check out the top 10 read more

Denver, Colorado
San Antonio, Texas and Portland, Oregon
Seattle, Washington
Salt Lake City, Utah
Boise, Idaho
Washington, D.C.
Cincinnatti, Ohio and Cleveland, Ohio
Baltimore, Maryland
Buffalo, New York
Rochester, New York

For those of you who want your city to make the cut next year, you better head to your local drug store and start stocking up for the winter!

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Tommy and Pam: Moths to the Flame or True Love?

DearSugar — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 08:31:00 -0700

Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson were photographed recently in the middle of a passionate kiss. Seems these two can't stay together or apart, in a Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor kind of way.

Any theories why, ladies? Anybody out there relating to them about now?

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How Do I Handle This Strip Club Situation?

Tres Community — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:00:15 -0800

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

First of all my husband and I have been married for half of a year now. He's in the Navy and just got deployed, but right before the deployment he was sent to Hawaii for one day. I dropped him off at the airport and it was so hard for me to let him go. He called from Hawaii and we talked for five minutes then he said he had to go and he would call back.

As I was checking our bank account to check on the bills I noticed he had paid to go in to some type of club. While crying my eyes out because of how much I already missed him and knowing he wasn't coming home any time soon, I waited for him to call back. When he finally did I got him to tell me the truth and it turned out to be a strip club. This was his first time going into a strip club. The problem is that I feel so offended and disrespected. I know I'm not unattractive, and I'm very open minded in our sex life. So to me it seems as if I'm not enough for him, and that he didn't care about how I feel about strip clubs. The fact that he was lusting over those girls makes me so angry and upset.

To see the rest, .

When we talked I was so mad and disappointed and couldn't stop crying. But after a while I realized that I've been told not to say anything negative or upsetting to him since he was going on deployment to a very stressful environment. I won't be able to talk to him at all while he's gone, I can only send emails but I can't confront him there either. So I had to pretend that I got over it and that I was OK, so he wouldn't feel bad and guilty. But in reality I feel so disgusted and can't take the thought of him wanting someone else. I'm alone and don't have any family here, this is our first deployment and I'm still trying to handle it. He made things so much worse for me, now I'm not just worried about his safety, but also at the thought of when he goes to a port he's going to cheat on me. I'm just hurt and feel resentment towards him, but for as long as he's out I have to pretend I'm fine and support him through the emails. I know some people might think I'm over reacting, but to me this is just like cheating.

There's lots of great stuff going on in our community - join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!