TresSugar

Getting Noisy in the Bedroom

DearSugar — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 07:00:00 -0700

A recent post on About.com's Sexuality Blog considers the moans we make when we're getting it on. The post specifically recalls a study completed by Dr. Roy Levin, a sexologist, who determined that there were many reasons to make noise while in the throws of passion. According to the post, Levin's list of common motives include:

Conveying information to our partner about our arousal levels, what we like, and what we don’t.

Increasing our sexual arousal levels and/or that of our partner(s).

Enhancing the experience of pleasure (referred to as “hedonic amplification”).

Facilitating other arousal systems.

Adding to Levin's findings, the blog also mentions physical exertion as a possible and more basic explanation for noise during intercourse, likening sexy moans to the grunts of tennis players. Whatever the case may be, there's something extremely intimate about the noises of lovemaking that most people either find incredibly sexy or uncomfortable and awkward. I think it can be a bit of both depending on who it's coming from!

So ladies, what are your thoughts on being verbal during sex? Do you tend to be noisy? Or, are you as quiet as possible? And which do you prefer your partner be?

Source

Are You Into Quickies?

DearSugar — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 08:00:00 -0700

I love the idea of a quick romp between the sheets. An impromptu noon-er with your man sounds pretty spontaneous, exciting, sexy, and hot, doesn't it?

The only thing is that a guy can usually orgasm in three minutes or less, especially when he's super-excited, but it can take a girl much longer to climax. There is no foreplay when it comes to quickies, just pure fast, passionate lustful sex. So there may not be a huge explosive bang at the end for the girl, but who cares? They're still fun!

What do you think about quickies? Are you into them, or are you more into slow lovemaking sessions instead? Do you have any memorable quickie experiences you want to share? I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that we'd love to live vicariously through you!

Source

You Asked: My Boyfriend Is Quiet in Bed

DearSugar — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 16:32:01 -0700

Dear Sugar--

During sex, my boyfriend is so quiet. He doesn't make any noises or
anything. I feel like I am doing something wrong, but when I bring it up to him he says everything is fine, that he is just quiet. Should I be worried?

--A Little Concerned Connie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear A Little Concerned Connie--

Everyone expresses their sexuality in different ways, and it sounds like your man may be the quiet type. As long as he seems to be enjoying himself (he reaches orgasm), I'm sure you are doing everything right.

I am glad you feel comfortable asking him about it, that's the first step, but it simply may be his personality to be less than a screamer in the bedroom. Or he may have learned to be that way from his past sexual experiences (maybe he had to be quiet because of a roommate or an ex who didn't like him to be vocal). Let him know that you don't think there's anything wrong with him keeping quiet, but you just want to make sure he really does enjoy your sex life.

Just because a person is "the quiet type" doesn't mean he can't ever let out his wild side. If you're used to a partner who moans, groans, screeches, and giggles, and you want to see that come out with this guy, try going a little out of your comfort zone. Experiment with times of day, places in your home, and try to tempt him by being the one in control. Wear an outfit you think would drive him crazy, spend a lot of time on foreplay, and slow down your lovemaking. He may just need a change of pace to help him break out of his shell. Have fun trying!

Source

Tantric Sex Anyone?

DearSugar — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 08:00:00 -0700

Those very words conjure up sensuous and erotic scenes in my mind of intermingling bodies, moist skin, and silky sheets - but Tantra is not just about having mind-blowing orgasms.....

Tantra is a Sanskrit word meaning "weaving," or " expansion." Tantrism is a philosophy and way of life that's all about completely awakening the senses, like a form of meditation. Tantrists see sex as a sacred way to awaken the energy inside them, so that they reach spiritual enlightenment and ecstasy. You don't necessarily have to see it like that, but you can learn from these ancient sexual techniques to improve your own sex life.

Tantric Sex is like a dance with no beginning or end. There is no goal, only the present moment and the spiritual connection you are making -- it isn't just about having an orgasm as quickly as possible. Instead you focus on being completely intimate and connected to your partner -- just being in the moment, together. You harmonize your breath, gaze into each other's eyes, anything that turns you on in preparation for lovemaking so you can communicate on a deeply physical and emotional level.

I'm just getting started so read more

Once you have established that deep connection, then you can slip into actual lovemaking. Tantric Sex encourages you to move slowly and change up your positions. In order for the male to be able to have continuous sex for an extended period of time, the guy has to learn how to have orgasms without ejaculating. This is how you can both reach multiple orgasms. "Practice makes perfect" is the key factor here!

Well, that's as much detail as I can give you!! If I've piqued your curiosity and you want to know more about the specific techniques, I'd check out one of the many books about Tantric Sex like this one called The Art of Tantric Sex. Have fun and enjoy!!

Lovemaking: How Long Should It Last?

DearSugar — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Sometimes we're in the mood for long lovemaking sessions, but other times we're all about the quickies. So is there a certain amount of time that's considered normal? Take this quiz and see.

Source

Take the quiz

Where Do You Stand? Flying With a Sex Toy

DearSugar — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 10:00:00 -0700

A friend of mine went overseas for a long business trip, and since she wasn't going to be seeing her boyfriend for almost a month, she took her vibrator along for the ride.

Now I'm sure you can relate to missing your significant other - especially the lovemaking - but would you go as far as packing a vibrator in your carry-on? With the souped-up security in the airport, would you be worried someone would discover the treasure you packed, or do you feel safe traveling with anything (even your unmentionable) discreetly?

Source

Dear's Top 10 Quizzes of 2008

DearSugar — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Quizzes seem to be one of your favorite features on Dear, and I'm glad because they're not only fun, they're educational too! Below are my 10 favorite quizzes of 2008, but if yours isn't listed, tell us what it was in the comments section below!

Source

Do Tell: Do You Like Your Partner's Orgasm Face?

DearSugar — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:00:00 -0800

It might not be our best look, but we all have one: an orgasm face! Even if you've never seen your own, chances are you've seen your partner's - that unique mixture of deep concentration, relaxation, and release. But like I said, it's not always pretty, which could pose a problem while you're in the act of love-making. Since this is all anonymous, do tell ladies, are you a fan of your partner's orgasm face? If not, tell us why, I'm curious and I bet everyone else is too!

Source

How to Introduce Sex Toys Into the Bedroom

DearSugar — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 13:30:00 -0800

Here's a tidbit of information that may comfort you. Only 30 percent of women are able to orgasm during intercourse alone. That means that most of us need a lot of attention paid to our lady parts. If you're too shy to use your own hand, or your man can't quite coordinate having sex while touching you at the same time, then using a sex toy, such as a vibrator, will work wonders! Introducing these kinds of intimate items into your love-making session may be embarrassing though, so here are some different ways you can do it:

Some guys might take it personally if you just whip out a sex toy - they could feel inadequate - so talk to your guy about it first. Explain that your desire to try a sex toy doesn't have anything to do with his ability to please you (even if that is the case) but rather that you think it'd be fun to add a little excitement to your sex life. Remind him that sex toys can benefit him too - a win-win if you ask me!
Pick out a toy together. If walking into a sex shop seems a little too overwhelming, check out an online store such as GoodVibes.com. This way you can take the time to browse the items together without running the risk of bumping into someone you know - a potential awkward situation! He may also be more excited and less intimidated if he's involved in the process.

To see one more suggestion, read more.

If talking about it didn't go over too well, don't extinguish the idea completely. Go ahead and pick out a sex toy yourself. Use it alone first so you can figure out if you like it. If you're a fan, ask him if you can show him how it works. Your self-confidence about using a sex toy should help him change his tune.

Source

You Asked: Do You Have Any Orgasm Tips?

DearSugar — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I'm a 47-year-old woman and I've only had sex with my first love - my husband of 31 years. The reason I'm writing is to ask if it's normal to only be able to climax in one position. I can only orgasm when I'm on top which makes me think I'm missing out on so many other fun positions. Do you have any suggestions to help bring excitement back to our sex life? - On Top Tatiana

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear On Top Tatiana,

The ability to orgasm is different for everyone. Some people can reach the big O through any position, some through a select few, and others have yet to experience it at all. Just because you can only climax on top (which is by no means a defeat), it doesn't mean you can't experiment and enjoy other positions before climaxing.

Practice makes perfect when it comes to finding how your body works so do some exploration - by yourself and with your husband. I'd also recommend relaxing - if you get too caught up in thinking about it, you'll psych yourself out. If you want to spice things up, perhaps introduce a sex toy into your lovemaking, or experiment with new places to get it on - sometimes a simple change of scenery can do the trick. At the end of the day, if being on top works best for you, I say just embrace it!

Source