TresSugar

Do Tell: What's the Best Part of Being Husband and Wife?

DearSugar — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 07:00:00 -0700

Once the honeymoon is over, it's back to "real life" - dirty laundry, a messy house, bills, work, etc. - but the thing that makes it all not so bad is that you have your new hubby right there with you!! Since I'm not married, I can only imagine how wonderful it must be to finally call the man you love your husband, so ladies, do tell, what's the best part about being a newlywed?

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Group Therapy: He Won't Lift a Finger!

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 03:00:00 -0800

I have been married for almost six years. At first my husband would help out around the house, nothing big, but he would at least pick up after himself. Now, he does nothing. At first I figured he was just comfortable being his messy self, but now I think he is just lazy. He rarely does anything, even when I ask him to. Today for example, I cooked him a big dinner (roast beef, mashed potatoes, stuffing) and asked him to help me out with the dishes. He didn't even have the guts to tell me no, he just laughed and walked away.

I am sick of being treated more like a maid than a wife, and I really resent that he won't at least pick up after himself so my "job" of cleaning up the place isn't more difficult. Help!

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Gender Roles - How Do You Feel?

DearSugar — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 11:00:00 -0700

I have a friend who is a vegetarian and when she recently got engaged, she told me that her grandmother asked, "Are you going to cook your fiance meat now?" We both agreed that that was totally absurd. Just because you are getting married or in a relationship, doesn't mean you would give up your values, right?

Her grandmother was just seeing her as a "wife," and back then, wives took care of their husbands, had children, and took care of them too. That was their sole job in life, and they were "happy" doing it. Even my mother's generation still has beliefs like these, although my mom and dad live the typical gender roles that irk some people to no end, I've realized that they are sharing the responsibility of taking care of their family, their home, and each other, which is so important in marriage and relationships.

So what do you think about gender roles in a relationship? Do you agree with them? Have you had experience with people (or darling relatives) trying to force them on you? How do you deal and cope with the pressures of wearing the female/caregiver hat all the time?

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Say What? Hero Sex Rocks

TresSugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:30:56 -0800

"The hero sex really helps a 20-year-old marriage."

- Captain Sully's wife Laurie explains how her husband also saved their sex life when he successfully landed his plane in the Hudson River earlier this year. File this under TMI?

Stranger Than Fiction: To Catch a Husband

TresSugar — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:00:32 -0800

Sitting in her living room in South Wales, Cheryl Roberts entered a chat room posing as a 14-year-old girl. Why, you ask? After finding suspicious messages on her husband's computer, Cheryl wanted to catch him in the act of trying to seduce young schoolgirls. Unfortunately, she succeeded.

Cheryl's husband David had no idea that as he chatted away in his study, he was really talking to his wife in the living room. Using a webcam, David filmed himself performing "acts of indecency" on himself and he thought he was broadcasting the images to a 14-year-old girl, but it was really his wife. Upon seeing this horrifying display, Cheryl called the cops, who then found a bunch of child porn on his computer. No word if Chris Hansen made an appearance.

David went on to face legal repercussions, and I think it's needless to say that the couple is now divorced. This poor woman!

You Asked: My Husband Wants Me to Be a Stay-at-Home Wife!

DearSugar — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I just got married to the man of my dreams (YAY!!), but now that the wedding high has worn off, settling into married life has been different than I expected. Both my husband and I are very career oriented but all of a sudden, now that I have a ring on my finger, he wants me to be a stay-at-home wife, just like his mother! We talked about our future before getting married and we were on the same page, but my husband has done a complete 180 and I don't know what to do. He says that he makes enough money to support the both of us, but I don't want to quit my job! He expects me to stay home to "run the house," but I'm not ready to be a housewife! While I don't want to knock those women that love being a stay-at-home wife/mom, it's just not what I want for myself quite yet. Do you have any advice for me? - Career Woman Wendy

To see DearSugar's answer read more.

Dear Career Woman Wendy,

Agreeing on how your lives would change after getting married really should have been discussed before saying I do, but since your husband clearly had a change of heart, a serious talk is in order. Explain to him that you had every intention of keeping things status quo, including your career. For some women, working is what keeps them motivated and empowered so while your husband's offer is very generous, you're bound to resent him if you feel held back.

I think it's natural for him to try and replicate his parents relationship, but times have changed. Being a housewife is no longer a woman's automatic role; it's now a decision. Hopefully a good talk about your future will help bring you two back to the same page, but Wendy, even if you can't come to a complete agreement, you need to do what's best for you because if you aren't happy, your relationship is bound to suffer. Good luck and congratulations!

Source

Husband Puts Wife on Sale. Is eBay Bidding the Best Revenge?

CitizenSugar — Fri, 16 May 2008 06:00:00 -0700

A husband in the UK has perhaps found a new use for eBay - auctioning off his allegedly adulterous wife. He put up a listing offering his “cheating, lying, adulterous slag of a wife” to the highest bidder. The link to the wife auction zoomed around the web. The wife on sale denies any affair and cops are now investigating Paul for harassment.

The web-entrepreneuring husband who's also a father of two (yikes) said, “I started checking her emails and I realized the rumors were true. They had been discussing their sex life together and making plans for the future. I was absolutely destroyed. I gathered all her stuff in bags and dumped it in the drive.” And then in a rage promptly posted her to eBay. Bids reached almost a million bucks before he removed the posting because he realized, "it wasn’t the right thing to do." It hasn't been determined whether cheating actually occurred.

Is this crazy? While some women face much harsher consequences for suspected adultery than an online auction posting, did this man go too far? Is it just a silly lover's spat that made it on the Internet? Would you do something similar?

Ask an Older Woman: Help! My Friend's With a Married Man

TresSugar — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 06:00:00 -0800

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

Today's question: One of my good friends has been seeing a married man for about a year. He also just happens to be her boss. When we get together, she bombards me with the details of their relationship. He tells her he's never been happier, and that he'll leave his wife for her soon (yeah, we've heard that one before!) and she seems to believe him. My problem with this whole thing is that not only am I sick of listening to her, and of course could tell her so, but I've lost respect for her. Is it wrong to break up with a friend who's doing things I find morally reprehensible? Is there anything I can do to get through to her that what she is doing is horrible for her, not to mention this man's wife?

Signed, Confused Friend.

To hear what an older woman has to say, read more
Dear Confused Friend,

Ahh, the folly of youth. For every bad relationship I bored my friends with, I in turn listened to details about men (or women) they were with who didn't deserve them. It's part of being a friend.

My best advice to you is to be honest with your friend. You don't mention if you've told her how you feel, or if you did, how she reacted. If you haven't, now is the time to start. Tell her you care about her, but you think that contributing to cheating is morally messed up, and that in the end she's probably just going to get hurt. (I guess "the other woman" sometimes ends up with the guy, but who wants to end up with a cheater?) Also, sleeping with your married boss? Pretty dumb. Do other people in her office know? This is not good for her professional life either. I'd tell her that, too, although it's hard to imagine an adult who doesn't know this.

If you really like this friend and this is the only thing she's done that makes you question her character, ride it out and hope she comes to her senses. There's only so much advice we can give people. If you've told her how you feel and she continues with this affair, that's her decision. If she steers you toward this topic when you hang out, just let her know you don't feel comfortable listening to it anymore.

Sometimes, though, if friends do sketchy things, those acts are a window into the rest of their sketchy selves. I had a friend who not only cheated on her husband once, but throughout their marriage, and I began to notice that her behavior towards him mirrored her behavior towards me and everyone else. She was selfish, narcissistic and unable to ever admit fault. We'd had fun partying together when we were younger, but as we grew older, I realized I needed to respect my friends. After a blowout fight when she said horrible things to me, I took it as my cue to get out, and I dumped her.

You're in a tricky situation, but honesty is the best policy. If you can't be honest with her, maybe you aren't really great friends to begin with, in which case slowly turning down her invitations to hang out and discuss him should send her a message. Good luck!

Couples Who Clean Together, Sleep Together

TresSugar — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:00:00 -0700

I recently went to my friend's bachelorette party and got her the book Porn For Women as a gag gift. The PG porn book suggests that women get turned on by men doing things like vacuuming, folding clothes, or making dinner.

But according to a new study, seeing your spouse do household chores might actually be an aphrodisiac - and not just for women. The study revealed that the more housework a husband or wife does, the more likely they are to have sex with their spouses.

Many of the participating couples reasoned that showing an interest in household work - defined as cleaning, preparing meals, washing dishes, washing and ironing clothes, driving family members around, shopping, yard work, maintaining cars, and paying bills - demonstrates a greater willingness to invest in shared interests. It's a symbol of teamwork and commitment. One husband told researchers that sharing chores reflects a "willingness to hold my wife's needs and wants on par with my own." He sounds like a keeper.

Do you do and your significant other split up the household chores? Has it led to a better sex life?

Front Page: David Letterman Reveals Affairs, Extortion Attempt

TresSugar — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 08:00:05 -0700

David Letterman revealed on his show last night that he was recently blackmailed for $2 million. The extortionist threatened to go public with information that the talk show host had sexual relationships with female members of his staff.- BuzzSugar
The US unemployment rate has reached 9.8 percent, as 263,000 jobs were lost in September. - Wall Street Journal
During his five-hour trip to Copenhagen, President Obama said granting the 2016 Olympics to Chicago would give the US a chance to "welcome the world back to our neighborhood." - AP
Senator John Ensign may have violated ethics laws when he had an affair with his aide's wife and then sought to find her husband a job. - New York Times
Following talks in Geneva, Iran has agreed to move most of its known enriched uranium out of the country. - Reuters