http://www.tressugar.com Smart. Sexy. Fun. en http://www.tressugar.com/506693 <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/506693"><img width=106 height=160 src='http://media.onsugar.com/files/users/1/12981/32_2007/sad.large.jpg'></div></a><p>Let me say this out loud - <b>Mental Abuse is STILL Abuse</b>. A person does not have to hit you or hurt you physically in order for it to constitute as abuse. </p> <p><span class="inline left"></span>Someone who is emotionally abusive often feels worthless themselves, and uses their relationships to create a feeling of personal power and control over someone else. </p> <p>Relationships should be about respect, and if you are being mistreated emotionally, it is wrong, and the relationship needs to end ASAP. Emotional abuse can take on many shapes and you may be in an <a href="http://www.ndvh.org/educate/what_is_dv.html" target="_blank">emotionally abusive relationship</a> if your partner:</p> <ul> <li>Calls you names, insults you, or constantly criticizes you</li> <li>Doesn't trust you, or acts jealous or possessive</li> <li>Tries to isolate you from your family or friends</li> <li<Monitors where you go, who you call, and who you spend your time with</li> <li>Doesn't want you to work, get an education, or do the things that you love</li> </ul> <p>Want to see the rest? Then read more</p> <p>An emotionally abusive partner may also:</p> <ul> <li>Control finances, or refuse to share money</li> <li>Make all the decisions</li> <li>Punish you by withdrawing love or affection</li> <li>Expect you to ask permission</li> <li>Threaten to hurt you, your children, your family, your friends, or your pets</li> <li>Humiliate or embarrass you in any way</li> </ul> <p><b>Dear's Advice:</b> If even one of these sounds familiar to you or to someone you know, you can get more information or support by calling the <a href="/410420" >National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.</a></p> <p><a href="http://creative.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://www.tressugar.com/506693#comment Love and Sex Insult National Domestic Violence Hotline Emotional abuse Control Power humiliate Thu, 09 Aug 2007 15:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://www.tressugar.com/506693 http://www.tressugar.com/6067318 <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/6067318"><img width=160 height=135 src='http://media.onsugar.com/files/ed2/301/3019466/46_2009/907212899a9122f6_cute.large.jpg'></div></a><p><br /> <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/3153540" >Kittens in casts</a>. <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/2905271" >Babies nudged to laugh</a> every five seconds. Stuffed teddy bears left at killing-spree sites. We are so surrounded by the tyranny of cute that even multibillion-dollar corporations have cute names like "Google" and "Twitter," and the uncute business of insurance is represented in ads by a cute lizard with an English accent. (And yes, I too am guilty of spreading <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/tag/cute" >cuteness</a>.)</p> <p>What's up with the cute? <a href="http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2009/12/cuteness-200912" target="_blank">Writer Jim Windolf has had enough and decided</a> to try to get to the bottom of what he calls the "self-infantalization" of Americans. His conclusion? There's a dark, manipulative side to cute. If you want to know what it is, read more.</p> <p>In Daniel Harris's book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Cute-Quaint-Hungry-Romantic-Consumerism/dp/0306810476/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1257802550&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank">Cute, Quaint, Hungry, and Romantic</a>, he says that there's a hidden sadism to our love of cute, citing the barrage of images of cats falling, puppies slamming into mirrors, and even babies trapped in high chairs being prodded to laugh. </p> <p>"The process of conveying cuteness to the viewer disempowers its objects," he writes, "forcing them into ridiculous situations and making them appear more ignorant and vulnerable than they really are. Adorable things are often most adorable in the middle of a pratfall or a blunder." In other words, they are cute insofar as they are helpless, and we, conferrers of cute, are all-powerful.</p> <p>Becoming cute, conversely, is one way of disarming opponents or critics. It's not incidental, argues Windolf, that the cult of cute in the US emerged during the Bush years, when "the American image went from that of protector to invader, from defender of human rights to aggressor on the lookout for loopholes in the Geneva Conventions." Cuteness then, according to this theory, "came about as some sort of correction, as a way for us to convince ourselves and our friends that we're not as bad as our recent national actions have made us seem." (It reminds me of smiley emoticons at the end of passive-aggressive email messages and instant messages. In this case, American cute is like a ginormous cultural smiley face emoticon tacked on the end of dubious actions telling our allies we're not all that bad.)</p> <p>Windolf traces American cute back to Japan's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kawaii" target="_blank">kawaii</a> culture, which got huge 10 years ago but actually emerged at the end of WWII after it was "humiliated and emasculated." If you're interested in political and cultural psychoanalysis, I suggest reading <a href="http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2009/12/cuteness-200912" target="_blank">this long essay</a>. But whatever you do, remember - <strike>sometimes a cigar is just a cigar</strike> sometimes a cute kitten isn't just a cute kitten.</p> <p><span style='font-size:10px !important;'><a href="http://www.strangecosmos.com" target="_blank">Source</a></span></p> http://www.tressugar.com/6067318#comment Vanity Fair Japan culture Cute Kawaii Jim Windolf Daniel Harris Cute Quaint Hungry and Romantic Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:00:00 -0800 TresSugar http://www.tressugar.com/6067318 http://www.tressugar.com/6067579 <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/6067579"><img width=160 height=68 src='http://media.onsugar.com/files/ed2/301/3019466/45_2009/b8139f09108db605_emailruhroh.large.jpg'></div></a><p>A tech consultant at Cornell did what we've all had nightmares about doing: <a href="http://gawker.com/5399065/cornell-employees-email-blunder-from-hell" target="_blank">he accidentally sent personal emails to everyone he works with</a>. And they were quite the Freudian sends.</p> <p>Gulp. But what makes it worse is that his emails were of a sexual nature. Big whoop, you say? Um, yeah. It gets more awkward. He's married - and so was his partner-in-crime.</p> <p></p> <p>Good lord. Has anyone ever done this? I can't imagine how humiliating this would be! Not to mention the fact that their marriages are probably over. Oh, the schadenfreude!</p> http://www.tressugar.com/6067579#comment News Love and Sex Ruh Roh Awkward Email Cornell Sat, 07 Nov 2009 01:00:00 -0800 TresSugar http://www.tressugar.com/6067579 http://www.tressugar.com/1910097 <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/1910097"><img width=106 height=160 src='http://media.onsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/36_2008/rbee_72_0.large.jpg'></div></a><p><span class="inline left"></span>For the past few months, you’ve been pining away for your best friend’s coworker who you met at a happy hour. You haven’t pursued anything because he’s been dating another girl on and off but when one of his social networking profiles alerts you to his newly single status, you IM your friend in excitement. </p> <p>She doesn't respond, but she calls you later that night to tell you that her laptop had been hooked up to the projector in the conference room when you messaged her. Unfortunately, she was in a meeting with your crush and his boss, and she didn’t close the window in time; they saw everything. Your friend is humiliated and so are you. How do <i>you</i> handle this? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://www.tressugar.com/1910097#comment Love and Sex Awkward Crush Handle This embarrassed Wed, 03 Sep 2008 12:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://www.tressugar.com/1910097 http://www.tressugar.com/270057 <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/270057"><img width=159 height=127 src='http://media.onsugar.com/files/users/1/13254/21_2007/Picture 55.large.png'></div></a><p>You'd think <a href="/259320" >forgetting the words to the national anthem</a> would be embarrassing (if common) enough. But, noooooo. This chick has to take humiliation to a whole other level. Yikes.</p> <object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="450" height="370" wmode="transparent" data="http://www.liveleak.com/player.swf?autostart=false&token=57d_1179782960"><param name="movie" value="http://www.liveleak.com/player.swf?autostart=false&token=57d_1179782960"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="quality" value="high"></object> http://www.tressugar.com/270057#comment Humor Video Humor Falling Humor Wed, 23 May 2007 01:00:00 -0700 GiggleSugar http://www.tressugar.com/270057 http://www.tressugar.com/3249450 <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/3249450"><img width=160 height=90 src='http://media.onsugar.com/files/upl2/42/423748/23_2009/d4858d009557b264_Picture_7.large.jpg'></div></a><p>This may be a conservative estimate, but I reckon 99.9% of men buy or view porn. Maybe some of them are completely open about it, but most guys could live without having their mom or third grade teacher catching them purchasing <b>Tongue in Cheeks</b> at the corner market. Which brings me to this amazing Bud Light commercial featuring what would have to be the shy porn buyer's worst nightmare. (It reminds me of a scene in <b>Little Miss Sunshine</b>.)</p> <p><center><object width="425" height="344"><br /> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2HWEXUzzmDY&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;"></param> <param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param> <param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2HWEXUzzmDY&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></center></p> http://www.tressugar.com/3249450#comment Humor Porn video Bud Light Adrageous Fri, 05 Jun 2009 06:00:00 -0700 TresSugar http://www.tressugar.com/3249450 http://www.tressugar.com/5066853 <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/5066853"><img width=137 height=160 src='http://media.onsugar.com/files/ons1/301/3019466/38_2009/58c1d6bbdf2dd1c8_90788203.large.jpg'></div></a><p><br /> <blockquote>I am not a hero. But I have a point of view. I have a stance. It humiliated me to see my country humiliated; and to see my Baghdad burned, my people killed. Thousands of tragic pictures remained in my head, pushing me towards the path of confrontation.</p></blockquote> <p>- Iraqi Muntadhar al-Zaidi reminded the world that he's a journalist yesterday by using powerful words to explain why he decided to <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/2606420" >throw his shoes at George W. Bush</a>. The <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/sep/17/why-i-threw-shoe-bush" target="_blank">emotional statement he released</a> is filled with sad images of war, but it gives some insight into his actions. Zaidi received <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/4790294" >a hero's welcome</a> when he was released from prison this week. </p> http://www.tressugar.com/5066853#comment Getty News Iraq George W Bush culture Middle East Say What Muntadhar al-Zaidi Fri, 18 Sep 2009 07:00:00 -0700 TresSugar http://www.tressugar.com/5066853 http://www.tressugar.com/1877073 <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/1877073"></a><p>On <a href="http://popsugar.com/tag/the+today+show" >the Today show</a> this morning, Matt Lauer and Al Roker performed a men's tandem rhythmic gymnastics routine to the tune of "Dream Weaver." (Note: Men's tandem rhythmic gymnastics is not an actual sport - yet.) The parody was meant to be funny, and their earnest expressions kinda crack me up . . . but I can't help but wonder if Matt is being forced into that Spandex against his will. What do you think?</p> <p><center><iframe height="339" width="425" src="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/26286602#26286602" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></center></p> <!-- no strip poll --><form action="/1877073" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>Matt and Al&#039;s Rhythmic Gymnastics: Hilarious or Humiliating?</label> <div class="form-item"> <label for="id-0-1877073" class="option"><input type="radio" id="id-0-1877073" name="edit[choice]" value="0-1877073" class="form-radio" /> Hilarious!</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label for="id-1-1877073" class="option"><input type="radio" id="id-1-1877073" name="edit[choice]" value="1-1877073" class="form-radio" /> Humiliating.</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label for="id-2-1877073" class="option"><input type="radio" id="id-2-1877073" name="edit[choice]" value="2-1877073" class="form-radio" /> Other - I'll leave comment below.</label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="1877073" /> <span class='button'><span><input class='fancybutton' type='submit' name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /></span></span> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --> http://www.tressugar.com/1877073#comment Humor 2008 Olympics Poll Matt Lauer the Today Show Video Humor Al Roker men's tandem rhythmic gymnastics Tue, 19 Aug 2008 11:00:06 -0700 GiggleSugar http://www.tressugar.com/1877073 http://www.tressugar.com/4849287 <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/4849287"><img width=160 height=139 src='http://media.onsugar.com/files/ons1/301/3019466/37_2009/c95ce95bc9dbdd8d_mainimage.large.jpg'></div></a> <div class='gallery_thumbnail'> <a href='/4849287'></a> </div> I loathe the word <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/tag/cougar">cougar</a> - used, for the most part, to try to humiliate women who date younger men (their "prey," known as cubs). But for better or worse, it's in the lexicon, which means that the idea that older women can still be sexy - and sexual - is out there, too. The following group of films shows that the cougar's been around in popular culture for a while, that cougar/cub desire is a two-way street, and that these couplings can be good, bad, or downright scary. <div class='call_to_action'> <!-- gallery teaser --><a href="/4849287?page=0,0,0">View Slideshow ›</a><!-- /gallery teaser --> </div> <hr class=space> http://www.tressugar.com/4849287#comment Love and Sex culture Sexism gender Movies Cougars Cubs Cougar Gallery Fri, 11 Sep 2009 04:00:00 -0700 TresSugar http://www.tressugar.com/4849287 http://www.tressugar.com/4540577 <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/4540577"><img width=160 height=107 src='http://media.onsugar.com/files/ons1/301/3019466/36_2009/94269c5e37ed4aae_87132576.large.jpg'></div></a><p>Before she <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/3060290" >infamously said</a> anything about gay (or opposite) marriage, beauty queen Carrie Prejean claims that Miss California pageant officials told her to stop mentioning God. In a move that is keeping her name in the headlines, <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/3281187" >the dethroned Miss California</a> is now <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/31/carrie-prejean-sues-pagea_n_273005.html" target="_blank">suing pageant officials for religious discrimination</a>. </p> <p>Carrie claims she was fired as Miss California because she voiced her faith-based opinion that gay marriage should not be legal. Apparently, Carrie sees nothing ironic about using her religious beliefs as rationale for voicing antigay sentiments, and then claiming to be a victim of discrimination herself. </p> <p>The lawsuit names director Keith Lewis and Shanna Moaklar as defendants, and also claims that the pair <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/3103482" >improperly revealed that they paid for Carrie's breast implants</a>. Shanna's attorney had some strong things to say about the suit. He countered, "Ms. Prejean's unfortunate and bigoted statements are responsible for any public humiliation or damages to her reputation that she has claimed to have suffered." As for whether she was fired for her religion, officials cite her unwillingness to make appearances as the basis for her dethroning. </p> <p>Regardless of whether you agree with Carrie, the <a href="http://www.eeoc.gov/types/religion.html" target="_blank">Civil Rights Act of 1964</a> does prohibit employers from discriminating against individuals because of their religion in hiring or firing. Do you think Carrie has a case? </p> http://www.tressugar.com/4540577#comment Getty News Love and Sex culture Discrimination Religion Beauty Pageants Carrie Prejean Tue, 01 Sep 2009 11:00:00 -0700 TresSugar http://www.tressugar.com/4540577