TresSugar

Dear Poll: What's More Important? The Wedding or the Honeymoon?

DearSugar — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 08:00:00 -0700

My friend is getting married later this month in a fairly modest wedding - just over 30 people at her grandparents' home. She and her fiancé decided to take all the money they would be spending on a bigger wedding and plan an ultrafabulous honeymoon.

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard a couple put their honeymoon plans before wedding celebrations, and while I can’t say whether or not it’s what I’d want for myself, I definitely see the appeal. What do you think? Is the wedding or the honeymoon more important to you?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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This or That: Honeymoon Disasters

DearSugar — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:00:00 -0700

After all the stress of your wedding , the honeymoon has finally arrived, and you and your new husband couldn’t be more excited. The last year has been a whirlwind and you’re ready for some serious relaxation. But within hours of arriving, your dream honeymoon is turning into a vacation nightmare. Would it be worse if . . .

This: Your luggage never makes its way around the baggage turnstile? When you talk to a rep at your airline, they inform you that they don’t know where your luggage is or when it will arrive, but hopefully within five days - nearly your entire trip.

Or . . .

That: Before you have a chance to even change into your bathing suit, you’re sick beyond belief? You’re stuck in the bathroom sick to your stomach for half of your stay.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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You Asked: My Fiancé and I Can't Agree on Our Honeymoon!

DearSugar — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My fiancé and I are getting married in a few months - everything is planned and ready to go, but we just can't seem to agree on where to go for our honeymoon! I know it's typically the man's responsibility to plan and pay for it, but if I left it up to him, we'd be hiking in the Himalayas when all I really want to do is relax on a beach somewhere.

Without creating an argument, how can we come to an agreement on where to go and what to do? I don't want to sound like a spoiled brat, but I think it's important for us both to be happy. - Honeymoon Fiasco Francesca

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Honeymoon Fiasco Francesca,

You're right, you and your fiancé should definitely agree on where you go for your honeymoon so why don't you start off by writing a list of the things you both want out of your vacation. It sounds as though relaxing is important to you while being adventurous is important to him, but there's no reason why you can't meet somewhere in-between. Consider someplace like Costa Rica, New Zealand or South Africa so you'll have both the ability to hang out on the beach and explore your surroundings.

While tradition says the groom should plan the honeymoon, I feel it should be a mutual decision. Your honeymoon is supposed to be about spending time with your new husband and basking in your wedded bliss so it's imperative that you're both happy with your final destination, even if that means a few trips to the drawing board. Good luck, but most importantly, have fun!

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Would You Say "I Do" to a Pop-Up Wedding?

TresSugar — Thu, 07 May 2009 08:30:00 -0700

Who doesn't love pop-up books? Or Pop-Up Video? So why not a pop-up wedding chapel? In the spirit of pop-up retail, wherein trendy stores materialize for a matter of days or weeks then vanish, an event space in Brooklyn called 303Grand is turning itself into a wedding emporium for a limited time only.

Starting June 1, the "experiential wedding showcase" will feature different weekly themes, including stationery and gifts the first week and dresses, makeup and hair the second. Then, on June 25, 303Grand will turn into a full-fledged wedding chapel for a week, hosting ceremonies for 10 couples. (Two couples will win a wedding and honeymoon free of charge.)

Given, you'd have to turn on a dime with your wedding planning, but this could be a very cute venue to tie the knot. Would you have your wedding in a pop-up chapel? What if you could get hitched and honeymoon for free?

The How-To Lounge: Honeymoon Planner

DearSugar — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 10:00:00 -0700

Once you have chosen your honeymoon destination, let the countdown begin! Since you are essentially going on your vacation of a lifetime, you have to make sure everything is packed and ready to go. Hopefully these tips will help keep you organized and get you excited for your trip!

Click here to read more

If you haven't yet, I advise all couples to purchase honeymoon insurance. You can never be too safe
Before you leave, make photocopies of all your travel documents, passports, plane tickets, itineraries, credit cards, etc. and be sure to leave one set with a friend or family member at home
Be sure to inform your credit card companies that you will be going out of town so they don't put a hold on your cards, thinking they were stolen. Get travelers checks if you are headed out of the country -- they are much safer than carrying cash
A few weeks before your trip, make a list of everything you want to bring and all the things you need to purchase before your honeymoon. Remember, you will be leaving straight from your wedding so don't leave anything to the last minute
Be sure your camera is working properly and don't forget extra film or an extra memory card
Reconfirm all your reservations and be sure to have a ride to the airport - you don't want to be scrambling or rushing on your way to a relaxing honeymoon, so make sure to leave ample time for check-in
If you are on a budget, be sure to purchase all your sunscreens and toiletries at home, not at your honeymoon destination
Be sure to bring all your prescription medications and I advise some antacids and diarrhea medicine if you are traveling overseas -- you don't want some bad water to get the best of your honeymoon!
If you are not ready to start a family on your honeymoon, be sure not to forget your birth control

I hope this list helps, be safe and most importantly, have fun!!

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The How-To Lounge: Combating Postwedding Blues

DearSugar — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

With all the excitement and energy leading up to a wedding, it's likely that the day after may seem a bit lacking. Add in the emotions, relief, and exhaustion from your big day, and it's a recipe for postwedding blues. But just because the wedding is over doesn't mean you don't have plenty to look forward to in your newlywed status. Check out my advice for combating postwedding blues, and read more.

Giving yourself something to look forward to after the wedding can make a big difference when easing yourself into the newlywed lifestyle. Consider planning your honeymoon for a week or two after the wedding, or even longer if you prefer; there's no right or wrong time to take a honeymoon.
If your honeymoon is already days away, but you're still worried the lag time will leave you disappointed and listless, try coming up with a few simple postwedding events to enjoy with your friends and family. Being around your loved ones who shared in the wedding excitement will keep your spirits soaring.
It's natural to feel sad, but remember it's not going to last forever. Once you and your husband settle into a routine as newlyweds, things will start to feel much more comfortable.
On that note, as you settle into your new routine, don't forget to incorporate the elements from your prewedding planning life, too. Put more time into your friends and pick up where you left off with your hobbies - both are easily bumped aside during planning mania.
Give yourself some alone time. It may be scary at first, but it's important to reacquaint yourself with who you are when not negotiating a looming wedding. Take long walks, read a new book, or go get a massage.

Just as quickly as postwedding blues come on, they disappear so keep your chin up, and if you need to, there's nothing wrong with going through your photo album to relive the memories from your big day.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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This Week With DearSugar

DearSugar — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 04:00:00 -0700

This week was over the moon. Do you prefer a relaxing or adventurous honeymoon?
Just out of curiosity, how often did you have sex on your honeymoon?
Do you think the post-wedding trip is more important than the wedding?
Tell me which of these honeymoon disasters would be worse.
Out with the (old) lingerie, in with the new.
New research indicates that women might not be so into casual sex.
E. Jean gives us one of her juiciest letters yet.
Is weight loss a cause of envy between friends?
Staying in this weekend? Check out the top 10 date movies.
Don't forget to enter our Summer lovin' lantern giveaway!

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Ask E. Jean For DearSugar: Do I Tell My Husband the Truth About Our Son?

E Jean Carroll — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Dear E. Jean,

I’m close to losing my mind. This week I received the results of a paternity test. It confirms that my husband is not the father of our 10-year-old son, our oldest child. The news will absolutely destroy my husband and devastate our four happy children.

How did this happen? Three days before I married my husband, a guy I dated in college came over to my house, took me out to dinner, and begged me not to get married. Afterwards he drove me to the beach, we went for a walk - well, you can guess the rest. The wedding took place, my husband and I went on the honeymoon, and when we came home, I knew I was pregnant. Both our families were ecstatic. “A honeymoon baby!” they called it. But I was suspicious at the time that it could be either man’s.

However, I put it out of my head, gave birth to an awesome boy, 10 years passed, everything was fine. Then I heard the other man was getting a divorce and there was a big fight with his wife over money. His picture appeared in the paper. I looked it up. The resemblance to my son was unmistakable. But the worst part is the wife was accusing him of abusing their children.

That was when I decided I had to know for certain. And the results of the DNA samples (samples I took from my husband and son while they were both sleeping) confirmed what I feared: My husband is - I’m quoting - "excluded as a biological parent" of my son.

I'm a total wreck. It's like a bad Maury show. The truth will demolish my son’s trust, my husband’s love, my other three children’s stability. What can I do? How can I find the words? What do I say? I don’t know how I’m going to live through this. - Devastated.

To see E. Jean's answer, read more.

My Dearest Devastated,

I realize that most people will disagree, but I advise you to keep your secret. For now.

See an attorney. Draw up a letter containing the facts to be given to your son in case of your early death - and stipulate the letter is to be opened when he’s grown.

And, of course, if your son ever develops health problems that could be hereditary, you’ll disclose the facts surrounding his birth to your pediatrician and to the biological father if you need to obtain his health records.

But other than these two circumstances, I see absolutely no reason to explode this bomb at this particular time. When your son is an adult, you can tell him. For now, let the family grow up and prosper.

Because the truth is never pure and rarely simple, as Nabokov said, nor is Truth with a capitol “T” always a good thing. It can also bring evil. Just ask Oedipus.

To see more advice from E. Jean, visit Elle Magazine and AskEJean.com.

Mrs. Mayor? Critics Says Mayor's Wife Runs Kansas City

LibertySugar — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 13:30:59 -0800

Gloria Squitiro, the wife of Kansas City Mayor Mark Funkhouser says she volunteers 70 hours a week to help her husband fulfill his campaign promises, but critics say she's doing a job that she wasn't elected to do. After resigning, the mayor's former chief-of-staff said, "It was kind of like having your mother-in-law go along on your honeymoon."

Controversy has surrounded the duo for a while now. According to the Associated Press, when Ms. Squitiro set up a desk outside her husband's city hall office and proceeded to call a black aide "Mammy," the city council passed an anti-nepotism ordinance sending Squitiro back home. So what did Mr. Mayor do? He started working from home.

The mayor has stood up for his actions, saying: "The idea that once we won the prize, I was going to dump her and say, 'See you, honey, in four years. Go on back home and bake cookies, fold some laundry. I'll be there when I get there,' is absurd."

Should the mayor be allowed to have his wife advise him?

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The How-To Lounge: Honeymooning at Home

DearSugar — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Though the idea of spending the week after your wedding exploring Mayan ruins, eating real Italian pizza, or lounging in the Caribbean is fantasy worthy, for many newlyweds the reality is that such extravagant (and expensive) honeymoons just aren't possible. But fortunately, there's still plenty of just-married fun to be had without a plane ticket or months of planning. To see my ideas for honeymooning at home please read more.

Probably the most obvious possibility is to plan a weekend away that doesn't involve an airport or a $400 per night hotel room. Keep your driving distance to no more than half a day to cut down on extra costs and give you the most time possible to enjoy your time away.
A great play on the weekend away, but even less demanding, is a simple day trip to a nearby locale. Try a big city adventure, a low-key romp through a small town, or find a nearby lake you can spend some hours sunning on the shore.
Pack up the car, make a few playlists on your iPod, and hit the open highway - or better yet, the back roads! An old-fashioned road trip can mean serious fun. Come up with a general itinerary, but don't let a schedule dictate your trip. To keep things truly authentic and conveniently cheap, eat at local spots and stay at roadside motels.
If you really can't take time off or just don't have any extra funds, take turns doing something special for each other each day for a week. It can be a homemade meal, a thoughtful card, or just doing all the cleaning while the other relaxes on the couch. Not only is it a great way to show each other how much you care, but it's also a great pattern to get into at the beginning of a marriage.
Or, just stay in the comfort of your own home, but make it count! Rent all the movies you've been wanting to see, order you favorite take-out food, and pick up a bottle of massage oil. For a few days, make it just about relaxing and spending time with each other.

Most importantly, just make sure the days after your wedding are a chance to celebrate your newlywed status!

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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