TresSugar

Sunday Confessional: I Slapped My Girlfriend

DearSugar — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 09:00:00 -0700

I’d been dating my ex for the past 7 ½ months. Everything was absolutely wonderful with her, I can honestly say she’s the first person I’ve ever loved in my life. When I met her, it clicked instantly and I loved every moment of it.

There was one instance in our relationship that went horridly wrong. She had stayed at my apartment that one night so I went to work in the morning and came back to meet her for lunch. When I got there, we ate, and then she wanted to have sex. I had been having a really stressful day at work, and wanted to have sex with her, but I knew I wouldn’t have really “been there” for it so I told her no. The next 10 minutes consisted of her begging for me to have sex with her, which to my mistake, I gave in.

While we were making love, I was still stressed from work and had a tough time performing because I couldn’t get my mind clear - this was the first and only time we’ve had a problem with sex. I knew it wasn’t happening and I had 10 minutes to get back to work, so I apologized and said that I'd make it up to her later. She looked me into the eyes after hearing that and uttered the words, “Are you f***ing gay?” Within an instant, I gave her a slap across the face. It took me a second and I realized what I had done and I immediately ran out of the room and started crying.

I was the guy who would never ever hit a girl. I had no idea what had happened. She wanted to end it right there and then, but I did my best to sit her down and pleaded with her that it was an accident, that I was extremely sorry and that it would never happen again.

We got back together, but things have been a little rocky. She’s left me 3 times, but we keep giving it another try. Just this past week, she told me she couldn’t trust me and that she was afraid I would hit her again. The back and forth is killing me and I don’t want this relationship to end because of something that happened 2 ½ months ago. It was the only time it ever happened, which I wish I could say never did. I love this woman dearly and I want to know if I can be forgiven.

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Awkward! He Hit on Her in Front of His Girlfriend!

TresSugar — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 03:00:00 -0700

A couple of weekends ago, I went out to a bar with one of my girlfriends who was visiting from out of town. (Let's call her Linda.) We met up with a group of friends and Linda started chatting and flirting with a guy who was part of our extended group. They hit it off, so Linda gave him her number because he said he would be visiting her city the next weekend.

Later in the evening, Linda was introduced to the guy's girlfriend! Feeling embarrassed, she convinced herself that he was just being friendly. By the next day she had totally forgotten about it . . . until he ended up sending her a suggestive text message when he came into town. This guy was a real keeper: trying to make plans via text when he already had a girlfriend! How does one handle such douchiness?

Sunday Confessional: I Hit My Girlfriend

DearSugar — Sun, 27 May 2007 09:00:00 -0700

I am really confused. It's been seven days and my girlfriend of one year has not picked up my calls or spoken to me. Seven days ago, we had a major argument at her place and I had couple of drinks too many, then one thing led to another and I hit her. After I realized what I had done, it was too late. She had no interest in listening to what I had to say so I left. I am doing everything in my power to let her know how sorry I am, but she won't accept any of my attempts. My feelings of guilt and horror are unimaginable.

I know I will never ever do it again -- this experience completely changed me. I never could have imagined being such a bad guy. I am really down in the dumps and don't know where to go from here. Can I ever be forgiven and will I ever be able to forgive myself?

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Would You Show Your O-Face For an Alt-Porn Website?

TresSugar — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 13:00:00 -0700

Years ago, I was approached by a filmmaker who asked if I wanted to participate in a documentary he was doing about (get ready for it!) what people's faces look like when they're having an orgasm. "You can either be alone while I film you," he told me as I looked increasingly wary, "or you can bring your girlfriend or boyfriend in to 'help' you. It will just be me and the camera."

It was, alas, an offer I could refuse. But the idea of capturing someone's face at the moment of orgasm hasn't gone away. Beautiful Agony is an alternative-porn site that recently hit its five-year anniversary. "Sexy doesn't need to be obscene" is one of its philosophies, and what started as an experiment has turned into a full-on website "dedicated to the beauty of human orgasm."

There's no nudity (only video footage of heads and shoulders) and most of the videos are accompanied by a "confessional" interview where the O-face contributor talks about masturbation, sexuality and sexual secrets. Is this something you'd be interested in participating in?

Awkward! Straight Stacy Asked on a Friend-Date

TresSugar — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 02:00:00 -0700

So my friend, let's call her Stacy, was dating this guy that she was really into. After five dates (who's counting) he does the disappearing act. A few months go by, and Stacy runs into the disappearing dude at her local cafe . . . and he's with a woman.

They have that awkward exchange, but the pair ends up joining Stacy at her table to eat their lunch. When Stacy asks them, "How do you know each other?" they answer in unison, "We have something in common. We both like women." Free from the potential embarrassment of eating with a guy who disappeared on her and his new girlfriend, Stacy ends up enjoying the conversation and hitting it off with both of them.

Fast forward a week. Stacy gets a friendly email from the disappearing dude's lady friend saying: "Did you miss me?" and asking her if she wants to check out a museum exhibit with her. Now Stacy's in the position of not knowing what to do - should she decline and pass up a potential friendship, or accept and take the risk of sending the wrong message?

UK Poll: Some Think Women Deserve Violence Sometimes

CitizenSugar — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 13:00:24 -0700

Domestic abuse has infiltrated the headlines lately. As we follow the very public saga of Chris Brown and Rihanna, society's attitudes about violence against women have emerged. Sometimes these diverging positions can be shocking.

A new survey conducted by the UK government reveals that one in seven people believe it is acceptable in some circumstances for a man to hit his wife or girlfriend if she is dressed in "sexy or revealing clothes in public."

According to a quarter of those surveyed, sexy dress also should mean that a woman is held partially responsible if she is raped or sexually assaulted. And, about one in seven also said it's fine to slap a wife or girlfriend if she is "nagging."

The majority believe it's never OK to hit a woman. But the fact that many can find a justification for violence proves that there is still a lot of work to be done to keep all women safe.

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Seth Rogen: Do, Dump, or Marry?

DearSugar — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 13:30:55 -0700

A slimmed-down Seth Rogen has been hitting the red carpet lately for his upcoming flick, Observe and Report, not to mention hosting Saturday Night Live and appearing in the entertaining "girlfriend voice" sketch. I think he won me over in Knocked Up - how about you?

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Do Tell: When Do You Stop Sharing Details About Your Sex Life?

DearSugar — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 15:00:00 -0800

In the beginning of a relationship, it's fun to share your experiences with your girlfriends - like what you did on your date, if he's a good kisser, even how the sex was the first time! But there's an element of privacy one usually desires once the relationship hits a certain level. That time is different for everyone so do tell, when do you stop divulging those intimate details with your friends?

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Handle This: His Friend Is Draining Your Relationship

DearSugar — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 09:00:00 -0800

If you were put in a situation like this, how would you handle it?

Your live-in boyfriend's best friend just called off his engagement and is crushed. In an attempt to lift his friend's spirits, your boyfriend has been inviting him over a lot in addition to them hitting the town together. He has become a good friend of yours as well so you don't mind his company every once in a while, but having a third wheel around all the time is starting to affect your relationship - you can't remember the last time you had a night alone together.

You're glad his friend has the support of your boyfriend, but you're missing the intimacy of your relationship. You don't want to sound like a needy girlfriend, especially since his friend really needs the support right now, so how would you handle this?

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DearSugar Needs Your Help: Should I Butt In?

DearSugar — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 09:00:00 -0800

DearSugar and Terribly Concerned Tabitha need your help. She's worried that her brother-in-law is about to make a horrible mistake by marrying his girlfriend, who she thinks is questionable. Her husband doesn't want to get involved, but she feels like she's watching a disaster happen in slow motion. Should she stay mum or speak up before it's too late?

Dear Sugar,

My brother-in-law has been dating a very questionable girl for almost a year now. They met because she rudely crashed a party so that she could hit on his engaged best friend. She is nearly 30 years old and was willing to move across the country to be with my brother-in-law after only hanging out with him three times (a little too old to be acting so irresponsibly if you ask me). Within two months of dating, she brought up having kids with him even though he has only has one part-time job and can barely pay his phone bill.

When she moved in, they instantly began talking about marriage. They are two months away from their one-year anniversary and he just put a down payment on an engagement ring. My husband gets upset with me for being skeptical about their relationship, and he refuses to bring it up with his brother, but I just feel like someone needs to say something before he makes the biggest mistake of his life. I don't feel close enough with him to address my concerns myself, but I worry that he is going to face financial ruin with a too-soon baby and a failed marriage. What should I do? - Terribly Concerned Tabitha

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