TresSugar

He Said It, We Didn't

GiggleSugar — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 02:00:00 -0800

"You captured me . . . You are to me, when you're working, an innocent champion of honesty. Your heart has a way to embrace the truth." - Gary Busey to Ryan Seacrest

Gary Busey came off as a bit of a wackjob when he accosted Ryan Seacrest at the Oscars. So he called Seacrest on the morning after to ~~set the record straight~~ make himself sound even more like a wackjob. Listen to the rest here.

Source

How Do I Handle This Strip Club Situation?

Tres Community — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:00:15 -0800

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

First of all my husband and I have been married for half of a year now. He's in the Navy and just got deployed, but right before the deployment he was sent to Hawaii for one day. I dropped him off at the airport and it was so hard for me to let him go. He called from Hawaii and we talked for five minutes then he said he had to go and he would call back.

As I was checking our bank account to check on the bills I noticed he had paid to go in to some type of club. While crying my eyes out because of how much I already missed him and knowing he wasn't coming home any time soon, I waited for him to call back. When he finally did I got him to tell me the truth and it turned out to be a strip club. This was his first time going into a strip club. The problem is that I feel so offended and disrespected. I know I'm not unattractive, and I'm very open minded in our sex life. So to me it seems as if I'm not enough for him, and that he didn't care about how I feel about strip clubs. The fact that he was lusting over those girls makes me so angry and upset.

To see the rest, .

When we talked I was so mad and disappointed and couldn't stop crying. But after a while I realized that I've been told not to say anything negative or upsetting to him since he was going on deployment to a very stressful environment. I won't be able to talk to him at all while he's gone, I can only send emails but I can't confront him there either. So I had to pretend that I got over it and that I was OK, so he wouldn't feel bad and guilty. But in reality I feel so disgusted and can't take the thought of him wanting someone else. I'm alone and don't have any family here, this is our first deployment and I'm still trying to handle it. He made things so much worse for me, now I'm not just worried about his safety, but also at the thought of when he goes to a port he's going to cheat on me. I'm just hurt and feel resentment towards him, but for as long as he's out I have to pretend I'm fine and support him through the emails. I know some people might think I'm over reacting, but to me this is just like cheating.

There's lots of great stuff going on in our community - join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!

Robert Pattinson Believes in "the One" - Do You?

TresSugar — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 04:00:51 -0800

Twilight's Bella may find "the one," but Kristen Stewart doesn't believe he exists. When Pop's Molly asked Kristen if she believes in "the one," the actress defended her doubt saying that she doesn't believe there are "chosen ones" who find their soul mates and other unlucky people who don't. What does she believe? That different levels of love can be achieved.

Yet, when Molly popped the same question to Robert Pattinson, he had a very different answer. "Ahh, maybe," he said. "Yeah, yeah - I think so." Not too convincing, but more starry-eyed than realist Kristen. Could get awkward if they really are together, as they seemed to be in Paris last week!

Do you believe there's one for everyone? What if your partner disagrees?

"What Is His Deal?"

Tres Community — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 09:00:00 -0800

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

My friend (let’s call her Laura) recently introduced me to a good male friend of hers (let’s call him Mark) at a Halloween party. Mark and I had a good time talking to each other and he emailed my friend a day later to tell her that he thought I was really nice. He then found me on Facebook and asked me out for the following weekend, to which I said yes.

We texted a few times and flirted a little bit. However, when the weekend came he got sick (I was sick too so I didn’t mind that we weren’t going to meet, although I didn’t tell him that). But now it’s been a week and I haven’t heard anything from him, no texts, no nothing. I think this is a little strange since he was the one who initially pursued me. Plus he’s friends with my friend so I didn’t think he would just ditch our plans. There is such a thing as politeness and I’m a little surprised that he hasn’t called me to let me know that he’s still sick, or busy, or whatever. So, I don’t know what to do if and when he calls. Should I go out with him? He’s already demonstrated that he can’t keep me in the loop.

There's lots of fun stuff going on in our community - join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!

Say What? Priest Says Don't Just Sit There and Masturbate!

TresSugar — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:00:00 -0800

"My concern is these students are in this developmental phase, and I don't think it's a good developmental practice to just tell somebody to just sit around and masturbate. I don't think that promotes good relationships."

- Father Joe Vetter, Duke University's Catholic Center director, reacting to news that a behavioral economist and student health workers at Duke University asked women on campus to discuss how they felt about sex toys. Of course, Father Vetter is also concerned about women sleeping around too much: "I'm concerned about promiscuity also," he said. Ummm, so what's a gal to do?

Ask a Trader: Is He Into Me?

TresSugar — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 06:00:00 -0800

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. This week, a trader helps out a frustrated woman. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

Today's question:

I have been seeing this man for a little over a month. He is significantly older than me (13 years) and pretty busy. We talked last weekend and both said we wanted to take things slow due to failed past relationships (jumping into them too quickly; he was engaged).

That's perfectly fine with me, but the problem is that we never talk. We Facebook message each other, but it's extremely brief two word phrases. When the weekend hits, we might see each other one day. When we do see each other, he acts like he really enjoys my company until I say something nice (he runs a gallery, so I told him if he ever needs help getting a show set up, to let me know) in which case he kind of buries his head. He also won't respond if I send him a compliment via one of our Facebook messages.

He does let me keep some toiletries at his house if I ever spend the night, which is rare - we don't have sex either. I really like this guy and want to get to know him, but it seems impossible and I feel like I'm just getting strung along. Should I talk to him and tell him what I expect with "taking it slow" or something? Or does it seem he really isn't into me at all? Would he really string me along if he knows I don't want to get hurt anymore?

Signed,
Taking it Too Slow

To see the trader's answer, read more.

Dear Taking it Too Slow,

It sounds like, for whatever reason, this guy is not romantically attracted to you. You are right to worry that he lets you stay overnight and keep toiletries at his house, without ever making a move. You say you really like him, but I must recommend that you not waste too much more time on him without knowing he feels the same way because it sounds like you keep putting forth effort, without getting anything back from him. Tell him how you feel, and if he shares those feelings then you can explore the possibility of a real relationship together. If he says he's just not ready, this is your cue to move on and trade up. And no need to second-guess breaking off your sexless sleepovers: if he really does have feelings for you, he'll come back when he's ready, and if you want to, you can give him another shot.

Signed,
A Trader

Behind the Iron Curtain: Was Sex Better Before the Wall's Fall?

TresSugar — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 10:13:52 -0800

Life may be better since the fall of the Berlin Wall, but is sex? It was at first. Prostitutes came in vans, porn was everywhere, and sex shops opened like wine bars in a gentrifying neighborhood. Yet interest waned throughout the '90s, and nostalgia set in for "love as it was before."

Before, men and women didn't need porn to get excited or toys to orgasm. What did they need? Imagination, says former relationship columnist Jutta Resch-Treuwerth, and they had it. Poll after poll shows there was lots of "imagination" behind the iron curtain. On average, East Germans lost their virginity earlier, had twice as much sex, and had more orgasms than their Western counterparts.

So what made sex so "gut"? Find out after the jump

TMI? Woman to Broadcast Baby's Birth on Live TV

TresSugar — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 06:00:00 -0800

It started out as a blogging gig for a moms-to-be site, but 23-year-old Lynsee, a teacher from Minnesota, decided to take it a step further. Along with her mother, husband, and midwife, she's going to have a cameraman film her giving birth while it's broadcast on live television. (No graphic shots, however.)

Although her husband Anders was hesitant at first, he finally agreed to it. "We wanted to share this experience," said Lynsee. "If I were in a classroom, I'd be teaching about development. It was a way for me to teach . . . A way for me to use myself as a textbook."

I find it odd that Lynsee asked to keep her last name private for this news story but is going to have someone film and broadcast to strangers one of the most private experiences of her life. (But maybe that's just me.) Is giving birth on television for strangers to watch TMI?

Curmudgeons, Rejoice: Being Grumpy Might Be Good For You!

TresSugar — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:05:00 -0800

Australian psychology professor Joe Forgas has concluded through his research that grumpy people tend to think more clearly, and because of their skepticism, they also make better decisions than their more cheerful and gullible counterparts.

Cheerfulness isn't all bad, though. Forgas says it encourages creativity. Bad moods, however, incite "attentiveness and careful thinking."

How did he figure this out? He asked volunteers to watch films while thinking of either positive or negative events in their lives, in the hopes they'd be put into good or bad moods.

Then, to test their powers of analysis, he had them judge the truth of urban myths and provide eyewitness accounts of events. The results: the grumps made fewer mistakes and were better at communicating.

"Whereas positive mood seems to promote creativity, flexibility, co-operation and reliance on mental shortcuts," said Professor Forgas, "negative moods trigger more attentive, careful thinking, paying greater attention to the external world."

If you see a smile on my usually grumpy face today, it's temporary - I'm just gloating.

Someone Cared! Woman Called 911 in Richmond Rape Case

TresSugar — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:22:01 -0800

Margarita Vargas, an 18-year-old woman from Richmond, CA (and a graduate of Richmond High) was the lone person who called 911 on the night a teenager was gang raped outside her high school while a homecoming party was still going on. It's alleged that at least 20 people watched and did nothing. Vargas says that her brother-in-law came home and told her he'd seen a woman being raped; it was Vargas who insisted they call the police.

It might seem pretty sad that we're applauding Vargas for doing what people should do, as she said, "without thinking twice," but you'd be surprised how often people are apathetic. So many people are saying, "What do you expect of Richmond?" but I can say, as someone who was grabbed on the streets of San Francisco in broad daylight and ignored when I asked for help - apathy happens everywhere, in all communities. (Just read about the bystander effect.)

Many years ago, I was walking down a busy street in a popular business district in a "good neighborhood" and a man grabbed me inappropriately. I had just bought coffee, so instinctively, I poured it in his face and grabbed onto him, hoping to get him arrested. As I grappled with him, trying to make eye contact with people walking by, riding by on their bikes, driving by, and yelling, "Someone help! This man attacked me!" no one did anything. Eventually, I couldn't hold the man any longer, and he got away, perhaps to assault someone else later. Helping out is rarer than you think, so kudos to Margarita, who even walked over to the school to make sure the police had arrived.