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Get Over It . . . He’s Just Not That Into You

Sponsor — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 05:45:00 -0700

Join the all-star cast of He’s Just Not That Into You as they look for love and find laughter in this of-the-moment romcom.

Available today on Blu-ray and DVD.

Greg Behrendt Reveals: She Was Just Not That Into Me

TresSugar — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 04:00:00 -0700

He's Just Not That Into You became a bible of sorts for the single woman who didn't want to get blindsided by one more man who didn't call her back. Co-authored by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, it outlined the many things women tell themselves about dates that go nowhere, when really the answer may be. . .yeah, I won't repeat it.

The book that claimed it provided the "no-excuses truth to understanding guys" took some hits from critics who said that its premise - that women should just stifle their desires (to call first, to ask those men what's wrong, to express what they want) - adhered to an old-fashioned vision of womanhood. "Disguised as 'liberation,' " wrote one critic, in a typical slam, "the book espouses an astoundingly passive role for women in relationships: always the pursued, never the pursuer."

But in a standup routine Behrendt did in 2006, he revealed something interesting. Part of the reason he knew so much about men's excuses wasn't just because he was a man. "What I don't tell them," he says tantalizingly, about why he was the guy to write the book was that: "I'm also almost every girl in the book." To listen to a podcast of this standup and to find out what famous person he was obsessed with read more

Unlike a lot of douchebags out there giving advice these days (Steve Ward from Tough Love - I'm talking to you!), Behrendt admits he's been that guy, that is, just like the women he counsels who show they care too much - to someone who doesn't care back as much.

Apparently, he once fell in love with standup comedian/actress Janeane Garofalo, whom he refers to as "the female Kurt Cobain of her generation." How did he express his love? Through mix tapes, late-night drunk dialing, and a general "I'm giving you something - now give it back to me" vibe which, not surprisingly, made her respond to him by "drifting away from [my] freakiness."

This piece of information puts a refreshing spin on the seemingly gender-rigid ideas in the book that bugged critics. May I suggest something, Greg? How about an excerpt of this for an afterward to the next edition of He's Just Not That Into You? Or write a book that talks to both sexes? To listen to this revelation, go to The Moth Podcast.

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Dear Poll: Do You Tell Your Friends What They Want to Hear?

DearSugar — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 07:30:00 -0800

He's Just Not That Into You has been out for a week now, but I can't seem to get it out of my head! The clips in the beginning of the movie, where the women make excuses as to why the guy didn't call, were actually my favorite part. They come up with every reason in the book, ranging from "you're too pretty for him" to "he's waiting for you to call him"!

Though I happen to feel that honesty is the best policy, I'll admit that I've fibbed to my friends before to lessen the blow of the inevitable. What about you? Have you ever told a friend what she wanted to hear even though you knew the real answer was that he was just not that into her?

Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures

Dear Poll: Would You Tell Your Friend If He Was Just Not That Into Her?

DearSugar — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 10:00:00 -0800

The results were pretty evenly distributed in yesterday's poll on whether or not women were portrayed fairly in He's Just Not That Into You, and in fact, a lot of you said you could relate to Gigi's over the top antics. I think we've all been there, as love can be blinding, but watching a friend who's visually impaired in the name of love can be frustrating and often exhausting.

In order to be a good friend, it's important for us to support each other, even if it means telling her the cold hard truth. So ladies, if you knew a guy was just not that into your friend, tell me, would you feel comfortable being the bearer of bad news?

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Dear Poll: Were Women Portrayed Fairly in He's Just Not That Into You?

DearSugar — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 09:00:00 -0800

As you all know, I'm on a huge He's Just Not That Into You high, and now that you've gotten a chance to see the movie too, I've got to ask your opinion on the way women were portrayed in the film. While Gigi was completely over the top in her quest to meet someone and have a successful relationship, the reality is that some women really do behave that way! But since her obsessiveness is definitely not the norm, do you think it was unfair to make such a desperate woman the main character in a movie about love and dating?

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The Dos and Don'ts of Dating According to Greg Behrendt

DearSugar — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 09:00:00 -0800

The day has come - He's Just Not That Into You is finally open in theaters, and I bet Greg Behrendt's series on dating and relationships has gotten you even more psyched to see it! But in case you missed any of our interview with the author himself, I'm here to recap the last two weeks for you. Enjoy!

As someone who gives advice for a living, check out what he says is the best piece of advice he's ever received here.
Technology has changed the way we do everything, so if you're curious to see how Greg thinks it's changed the way we date, click here.
It's a controversial debate - whether or not women should make the first move - so be sure to see what Greg has to say by clicking here.
Sex is a very personal matter, and choosing when to have it is a decision that's different for everyone, but what about sex on the first date? Does it mean your relationship is doomed? Or does it make no difference whatsoever? Check out Greg's opinion here.
We all make mistakes when it comes to dating, and Greg's probably heard every mistake in the book, so check out what he says is the most common one women make by clicking here.
Since He's Just Not That Into You was written over five years ago, one would think that he'd have a few things to add to the book if he had the chance, but see what he said when asked that question by clicking here.

Greg Behrendt on Amending His Book

DearSugar — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 06:00:00 -0800

Things change with time and as we all know, hindsight is 20/20, which is why I thought for sure that Greg Behrendt would jump at the chance to add things to his best-selling book He's Just Not That Into You if given the opportunity. I was actually wrong, but if you want to understand his rationale, just read more.

Is there anything that you wish you could add to the book now, five years later?

I think we said it in there, but I think the thing that I think should be said in any self-help book is: "This is a book. This is one person's opinion. Take what you need and leave the rest." Some people tend to go to books and find some dogma or mantra - Liz and I weren't trying to start a religion, we simply put our point of view down and I think there's some really valid things in the book that are probably echoed in other texts around the world. It's all about honoring yourself. At the end of the day, you're responsible for your decisions. Don't let a book do the thinking for you.

To see more from my interview with Greg Behrendt, just click here.

Guess Who Said It?

DearSugar — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 15:17:59 -0800

Guess which He's Just Not That Into You star said this when discussing dating, the Internet, and the novelty of basic technology?

"I still have the cassette tapes of messages from my first boyfriend, my second boyfriend, my husband . . . it's like saving love letters."
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Greg Behrendt on Common Dating Mistakes

DearSugar — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 06:00:00 -0800

No one is perfect and we all make mistakes, but when it comes to dating, I see women making the same ones over and over again. I know it's hard to see clearly sometimes when you're smitten with someone, but repeating bad behavior can quickly turn into a vicious cycle.

If you're curious to see what author Greg Behrendt thinks the most common dating mistake women make is, just read more.

What are some common mistakes that women make, and why do you think they keep making them?

There’s really one big one, and that’s hoping that somebody will turn out differently than they are. I always say don’t get a fixer-upper. You can’t put a coat of paint on a person.

To see more from my interview with Greg Behrendt, just click here.

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Greg Behrendt on Having Sex on the First Date

DearSugar — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 06:00:00 -0800

Greg Behrendt feels that making yourself happy is what's most important when it comes to the dating game, but what about having sex on the first date? Women often have to deal with the double standard that applies to sex, (when you have it, how many partners you've had, etc.) but there are some out there who don't necessarily play by "the rules" - some women think sex on the first date is no big deal at all!

If you're curious to see how Greg feels on this one, just read more.

What are your thoughts on having sex on the first date?

I think if they want to have sex, yes have sex. I think if they're looking for a long-term relationship, they're rolling the dice. [People who it works out for] are the exception not the rule, because otherwise there would be so many married coeds. They would perform weddings in dorms.

To see more from my interview with Greg Behrendt, just click here.

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