TresSugar

Dear Poll: Do You Hang Out With His Friends Without Him?

DearSugar — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 11:00:00 -0700

I’ve always found that a relationship is most convenient if each person gets along well with the other’s friends. A more communal social life seems to create harmony and minimizes chances for conflict. But even when friends are shared, there’s often a distinct difference between his friends and hers. Of course it depends entirely on the type of friendships you’ve created, but do you ever spend time with his friends when he's not around?

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Dear Poll: Who Would you Want to Just Hang with?

DearSugar — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 09:00:00 -0700

After a long night out on the town, there is nothing better than hiding out at home with a good movie and a cuddle buddy or a best friend to keep you company. I have my go-to person, but if you could choose any celebrity to lounge around with in your sweats, who would you pick?

Ask an MBA Student: Is It OK For My Boyfriend to See His Ex?

TresSugar — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 09:00:44 -0800

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. This week, a guy working on his MBA tries to help out a woman nervous about her boyfriend's ex. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

Today's Question:
My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend just moved back in town and he wants to hang out with her. She's going to stop by his house this week so they can catch up. They broke up a couple of years ago, but they dated for a few years so this sort of makes me uncomfortable. Can I tell him that I don't want them to be friends? I don't know whether I should be upset or just let it go.

Signed,
Nervous

To read the MBA student's advice, read more.

Dear Nervous,

My advice is to let them hang out and catch up initially. It's natural for friends who haven't seen each other to meet up; there is nothing to worry about. I think it might be a good idea for you to be there, if your boyfriend is OK with that. If this is truly a friend situation, he shouldn't have a problem with you being there, and if the ex-girlfriend is moving back into town then she should want to get to know you. After they catch up, the novelty might go away and they might never see each other again as people change. However, if they continue to hang out and see each other a lot, you can let him know that it makes you uncomfortable. He should respect your wishes and tone it down.

Signed,
An MBA Student

Women Buy the Underpants in the Relationships

TresSugar — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:00:00 -0800

When it comes to a man's underwear, not only do women have a strong preference, they also have a lot of influence. New research shows that men purchase their own underwear for only 17 years of their entire lives. During the other years, it's either their mothers or significant others who do the buying.

If men have no one to do their shopping, they usually wait to buy new skivvies until they're starting a new relationship. So it might help to hint to your new guy whether you prefer boxers, briefs, or boxer briefs (in fact 54 percent of TrèsSugar readers prefer boxer briefs). And if you're looking for a place to meet an available man, you might want to hang out around an underwear department - according to the research you can predict whether a man is looking for a partner by the number of underpants he buys. (I may take their advice - if those guys look like David Beckham!)

Have you ever bought underwear for your man?

Say What? Levi Johnston Lets It All Hang Out

TresSugar — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 16:14:58 -0700

"I just get naked. That's what I do."

- 19-year-old himbo Levi Johnston explains himself to Us Magazine after their writer expressed shock that Bristol Palin's ex came out of his house naked when she arrived to pick him up for an interview. His Playgirl shoot, slated for early November, will apparently leave nothing to the imagination: Johnston plans on doing full-frontal nudity for the spread.

Très Cool! Babies Cry in Their Native Language

TresSugar — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 02:00:00 -0800

I've always found it fascinating that dogs "bark" in different languages. Though we say "ruff ruff" in English, that same noise is expressed as "ouah, ouah" in French. Now here's something even cooler: German researchers have started to think that babies' wails sound different depending on what language their parents speak.

The scientists observed 60 babies born to families speaking French and German and found that the infants could be absorbing their parents' accents from inside the womb. In the last three months of pregnancy, babies have already begun to memorize sounds, and based on the analysis of the babies' cry "melodies," the sounds mapped closely to the parents' accents:

The French newborns cried with a rising "accent" while the German babies' cries had a falling inflection.

Writing in the journal Current Biology, they say the babies are probably trying to form a bond with their mothers by imitating them.

The findings suggest that unborn babies are influenced by the sound of the first language that penetrates the womb.

Fascinating, right? Now I want to hang out with a big international gang of babies and see if their cries all sound different. Wait, that means being trapped in a room with a bunch of crying babies - nevermind!

Ask an Older Woman: Help! My Friend's With a Married Man

TresSugar — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 06:00:00 -0800

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

Today's question: One of my good friends has been seeing a married man for about a year. He also just happens to be her boss. When we get together, she bombards me with the details of their relationship. He tells her he's never been happier, and that he'll leave his wife for her soon (yeah, we've heard that one before!) and she seems to believe him. My problem with this whole thing is that not only am I sick of listening to her, and of course could tell her so, but I've lost respect for her. Is it wrong to break up with a friend who's doing things I find morally reprehensible? Is there anything I can do to get through to her that what she is doing is horrible for her, not to mention this man's wife?

Signed, Confused Friend.

To hear what an older woman has to say, read more
Dear Confused Friend,

Ahh, the folly of youth. For every bad relationship I bored my friends with, I in turn listened to details about men (or women) they were with who didn't deserve them. It's part of being a friend.

My best advice to you is to be honest with your friend. You don't mention if you've told her how you feel, or if you did, how she reacted. If you haven't, now is the time to start. Tell her you care about her, but you think that contributing to cheating is morally messed up, and that in the end she's probably just going to get hurt. (I guess "the other woman" sometimes ends up with the guy, but who wants to end up with a cheater?) Also, sleeping with your married boss? Pretty dumb. Do other people in her office know? This is not good for her professional life either. I'd tell her that, too, although it's hard to imagine an adult who doesn't know this.

If you really like this friend and this is the only thing she's done that makes you question her character, ride it out and hope she comes to her senses. There's only so much advice we can give people. If you've told her how you feel and she continues with this affair, that's her decision. If she steers you toward this topic when you hang out, just let her know you don't feel comfortable listening to it anymore.

Sometimes, though, if friends do sketchy things, those acts are a window into the rest of their sketchy selves. I had a friend who not only cheated on her husband once, but throughout their marriage, and I began to notice that her behavior towards him mirrored her behavior towards me and everyone else. She was selfish, narcissistic and unable to ever admit fault. We'd had fun partying together when we were younger, but as we grew older, I realized I needed to respect my friends. After a blowout fight when she said horrible things to me, I took it as my cue to get out, and I dumped her.

You're in a tricky situation, but honesty is the best policy. If you can't be honest with her, maybe you aren't really great friends to begin with, in which case slowly turning down her invitations to hang out and discuss him should send her a message. Good luck!

Obama's Foursome Finally Includes a Woman

TresSugar — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 10:10:00 -0700

The 44th president has played 24 rounds of golf (who's counting?) since he came to office. How many women have been invited along with the golfer in chief? One. This weekend, President Obama's chief domestic policy adviser Melody Barnes became the first woman to play golf with the president.

Last week, Obama sounded pretty enlightened about modern gender roles. He said that after he had kids, he realized that Michelle should not be solely responsible for running the house just because she's a woman. But it seems that Obama has been having a hard time translating these enlightened ideas to sports, as he typically plays basketball and golf with men only.

Hanging out socially with the boss is always good for career advancement, and it's a bit disappointing that the president was perpetuating the idea that these traditionally all-male activities are still for for members of the "boys club." Hopefully any of the sporty women on staff will now feel welcome to play in these very visible games.

Have you ever felt excluded from activities (social or work-related) because you're a woman?

Très Bizarre: Man Charged For Being Naked in His Kitchen

TresSugar — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Spending more time around the house naked might be good for the planet, but it could also land you in jail. The state of Virginia has charged Eric Williamson, 29, with indecent exposure for hanging out nude in his own home.

Early Monday morning, around 5:30 a.m., a naked Eric was making a cup of Joe in his kitchen. At the same time, a woman and her 7-year-old boy happened to walk through Eric's front yard. She called the police, who quickly arrived on the scene and arrested Eric. The reporting officers must have given Eric a chance to get dressed, because he's wearing clothes in his mug shot.

The police say that Eric wanted the strangers to see him naked. If prosecutors can prove that, Eric might be sentenced to a year in jail and a $2,000 fine. Considering it was so early in the morning and still dark out, it seems unlikely that he was standing in his kitchen naked waiting for random passersby to catch a glimpse. I doubt Eric will be convicted, but he still must be pretty upset about the whole situation. Perhaps the lady cutting through his lawn should be the one facing the law!

Relationship Protocol: Are You a Good Couple to Hang Out With?

DearSugar — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Whether you’re the kind of couple that prefers to spend time with other couples or just hang alone at home, eventually there comes a time when you have to socialize in a larger group setting. Some couples are born to work the crowd; they interact with everyone and then come back and connect with each other every once and a while. They never make anyone feel uncomfortable by arguing or being too affectionate. In essence, even if you’re single or taken, they’re the perfect couple to spend time with.

But, unfortunately, there’s also the other extreme - the couple that you’d never want to be stuck with for more than a moment. Do you know any couples like this? Although we've all had our moments, tell me, are you a good couple to hang out with? And does it depend on the couple or each individual in a relationship?

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