TresSugar

Dear Poll: Do You Like Getting Looks?

DearSugar — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 13:00:00 -0700

A little flattery can go a long way when it comes to boosting the ego, but even praise can get excessive sometimes. To be honest, I’ve never been a fan of the male gaze; no matter the guy, I just don’t like being stared at. My girlfriends see it as a form of flattery, but to me, being ogled is just too much. Is this flattery you can get behind, or do you prefer to grab your compliments verbally?

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What Do You Think About Guys Who Stare at Your Chest?

DearSugar — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 08:00:00 -0700

Many years ago, I had a first date with a guy I knew from college. While we talked over coffee, he kept glancing down at my chest. I wasn't wearing a tight or low-cut shirt, but he seemed pretty interested in my breasts. I really didn't know what to do since I didn't think there were actual guys who did this. I made up some excuse about having to leave because of a paper I totally forgot about and booked it out of there, pronto.

Later that week I ignored his emails asking whether we could see each other again. Finally, I emailed him back and said flat out, "Why, so you can stare at my chest some more? I don't think so!"

Has this ever happened to you? If so, what did you do? Were you mad, or was part of you a little flattered?

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iPhone App Helps Men Keep Score of Chicks They've Scored

TresSugar — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:00:00 -0700

Pepsi's Amp Up energy drink (another one?!) has created a free iPhone app that gives players "up-to-the-minute info, feeds, lines" so that they can talk to their favorite kinds of women - "24 in all."

Basically, men can either get tips before they score, or they can upload details of their hookups as a result of these indubitably useful apps after they score. Nice touch, Pepsi.

I would rename this the "wishful thinking app." Because what guy who would ask his phone how he should speak to a "punk" woman because she's "staring holes into him" is really scoring at all? I love when the guy in the commercial clicks on the punk cartoon girl and it takes him to a definition of punk ("Punk rock is a genre that . . ."). Wow.

This app may try to help a man score one of 24 types of women, but it seems to be marketed to only one kind of dude: a loser.

(Tell GeekSugar the weirdest iPhone app you've ever seen and read about Pepsi's official apology.)

Ask a Bad Boy: What Do Guys Think When They Gawk?

DearSugar — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 06:00:00 -0800

Steve Santagati, the Author of The Manual, is back to answer his first question for all of you - I hope advice from the male point of view helps! To ask Steve questions of your own, simply submit them here or in the comments section below. Enjoy!

Dear Steve,

What are guys thinking when they are "discreetly" checking out other women when they are in a loving, happy relationship? Do they have sexual thoughts like, "She's so hot I'd love to do her," or is it more like what I think, "Oh she's pretty," and leave it at that? - Curious Casey

To see Steve's answer read more

Dear Curious Casey,

First of all, who said guys "think"? It depends on who we're looking at and the guy in question, but it can mean a lot of things. A: Is this woman a circus freak? If so, you're probably looking too. B: Does she have a huge chest or showing cleavage? We can't help to look. C: Is she super hot? You'll notice a hot guy even if you love your man so we're the same there.

If it's a quick glance, we don't mean any ill will to our girlfriends or wives and you have nothing to fear - it's just a guy thing - we're just looking because it's - almost - impossible not to. It's literally a genetic trait that we will look at a woman's chest or body.

Usually, "spank bank" sexual thoughts are reserved for the women we look at when you're not around. However, yes, sometimes a split second moment happens where we think; "she's so hot I'd love to do her," but just a split second, if at all. And you're so naive, a guy's idea of pretty - if he doesn't know the girl - is solely determined by; would he or wouldn't he want to fool around with her. Which means we may not want to ruin the greatest relationship we have with you, but we'll think of the "stranger" for a second. It's healthy, normal, and, in most cases, harmless. It happens very very fast in our brains and leaves our thoughts as fast as it came in.

In conclusion:

If your guy stares at another woman - for any reason (other than because she's engulfed in flames) while he's with you, he's rude and you need to correct him or keep on guard.
If he "glances," do not make a big deal about it. You can do the same thing. Make it normal for you both to notice attractive people and even make comments. That way he (and you) won't have to sneak around. Because sneaking around opens up a whole other can of worms.

To purchase The Manual, click here and if you're wondering where Steve got that T-shirt he's wearing, click here to shop his entire assortment!

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Come Story Telling with me!! The Completed Story

DearSugar — Sun, 20 May 2007 17:38:11 -0700

I hope you all enjoyed this new feature as much as I did! Your wild imaginations made for a great story line! To read the completed tale you all helped create, read more

You're never going to believe whom I ran into Saturday night!!!! I was about to meet the girls at the new hot spot everyone's been talking about, Magnolia, and found him standing at the front of the line as I bypassed all of the crowd. I hadn't seen him since last June, a few months before he fled California for the east coast, without so much as a good-bye. Seeing him there stopped me in my tracks. I had grown accustomed to thinking of this city as my own again. It was long past the days when I had looked for him on every street corner, in every doorway, in the reflections of the puddles. Having him gone was like a really deep breath, where you feel your whole body expand with the oxygen and you relax into the exhalation. Immediately, my mind started working... why was he back? Just as I was to go inside and pretend he wasn't actually there, I heard him say to his friend, "Dude! Pamela Anderson is SO hot! I recently met a girl who looks just like her - score!" It was my ex boyfriend. Of course I just had my hair and nails done and I was wearing my fab outfit that made me look 10 pounds lighter, so I looked smokin' hot! Had he met another girl? A Pamela Anderson lookalike? How could this be? How dare he come back here to my reclaimed city and spout off about meeting a new woman. So now what? Do I approach him and make small talk or do I ignore him completely and show him just how over him I really am? I make a split second decision to walk straight up to him and his friend. "You again?" I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. They both turned around. I didn't know his friend, but I sure knew that mug anywhere. "Oh, my God..." he replied, shocked. "I knew I'd see you but I didn't know it would be so soon. You look really good..." "save your breath dear. I'm just stopping by to say hello and let you know that in about 20 minutes the whole crew will be here to celebrate my boyfriends birthday", I said as I glanced over to the group I was with. In reality, I was only hoping that my ex didn't notice that in fact I was the only one in the group without a man. Sticky situation, this, I thought. Typical for me to make up a pretend boyfriend, a birthday and a crew. Now what? Time for a telepathic moment! I tried to gain eye contact with Lucy, my best friend, and communicate: Help me out! After a few moments of sheer panic, Lucy finally got the message and made her way over to me with two champagne cocktails in hand. I was relieved that I didn't have to be in his presence completely sober. She handed me the drink and told me that the celebration was beginning. Now the only thing I needed to complete the lie was a man. A man who would be willing to, on the spot, pretend it was his birthday, and pretend he was with me for that matter. So I left Lucy to catch up with the ex and went off to find myself a unwitting suspect. I was so focused on my quest that I smacked right into the hottest guy I had ever seen - a dead ringer for Matt Damon in The Bourne Identity! "So sorry," I say quickly as we look into each other's eyes. Instant chemistry sparks and I know it's now or never. "So I need you to do me a favor, my *sshole ex boyfriend is back in town and thinks I have a new boyfriend and that today is his birthday. Can you play the part?" I bat my eyelashes flirtatously hoping that the Matt Damon look alike is up for anything. He replies, "Well of course, let me go ask my friend Ben to join us." So the Matt Damon clone takes my hand and pulls me closely to him tightly and says "My darling, you look wonderful tonight. Wait until i get you home and the real party begins..."

I look around and my ex-boyfriend is STEAMING since he was only 4 feet away! I was hearing JT's "My Love" in the background, and I was definitely seeing stars. First with the Matt look-alike, and now his equally hot friend who looked like Ben Affleck! With this sudden Matt-and-Ben manwich, I thought I was an extra in Good Will Hunting! His puppy-dog eyes darted over to the Matt clone, he said, "So what does this hot babe wish of us?" "She asked me to play her boyfriend for the night to make the ex jealous", he said jokingly, I was still slightly mortified that I asked so much of a complete stranger, but he seemed into the idea. "Oh, by the way, my name is Derek, and this is my buddy Ben." Colin cuts in and slyly says, "Now that we're all acquainted lets get the party started!" Derek then shyly reminded Ben that he didn't know my name, and I timidly replied, "Madison." Just as I was starting to feel super overwhelmed by the situation (and the thought of possibly ending up in one of these Matt/Ben look alike's bed later that night) Lucy shows up champy in hand. "Why, hello gentlemen," she says with her man-eater look in the face. I see her checking out both guys and wonder if it's too soon to bathroom break and claim which one we each shall make a move on. But before I can get a word in to Lucy, Ben says suddenly, "Hi Lucy!" and gives her a huge hug hello! It turns out that they are co-workers! Could the world get any smaller. Well, I guess we don't need to figure out who's boy is who's, unless Lucy is in to the whole office romance thing. Still, a conference is in order, I grab Lucy to head to the bathroom.

One our way, we run into my ex. He nonchalantly asks me more information about Matt. "Where is he from & what does he do?" I try to evade the question since I obviously know nothing about him and I pull on Lucy's arm to help me out but she isn't really paying attention to me because she's looking at all the other eye candy in the place. Lucy dishes on her conversation with the ex. Turns out he's back in town for a wedding, and the bachelor party is at Magnolia tonight. And to make matters worse, Lucy mentions that Ben told her earlier that week at work that he was going to be out on Saturday for a bachelor party. Could it be my new hot duo of saviors is actually with the same group that my ex is in? I guess the world can get smaller.

Lucy and I finally reach the lounge in the swanky bathroom, and I tell her to come clean. "What is going on!" I demand. "Oh relax!" she tells me, as she puckers, paints and pouts in the mirror. "Besides" she says with a raised eyebrow "when you see who else is here tonight this will all seem like a drop in the glass". Holy crap, I'm thinking, why didn't I just stay home tonight? She grabs my hand and leads me back out the door. "Wild women coming through" she announces. I consider my options=; there is a window near the sink I could climb through and go MIA for the night, but I did not get a pedi and mani just to let it go to waste in my pajamas...besides, if I went home I would end up eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's in my PJs and my hips def didn't need that, esp since they look oh so good in this little dress. I decided to suck it up and see what else could happen. I would say it couldn't get worse, but then it did. As we leave the bathroom, I am shocked to see Matt, Ben and my ex chatting!!! Every expletive runs through my mind. Lucy notices my deer in the headlight face and steers me towards the bar for more champagne and one of her famous pep talks. She says, "Okay, look. The worst that can happen is that your pal Matt tells your ex he isn't really your boyfriend. It would be embarrassing, yes, but seriously, do you think he is doing that?" I look over, and Matt and my ex seem to be in a serious conversation-there is no laughing, no pointing or staring. I catch Matt's eye and he winks at me, and I know then that I am safe--for now. I said "You are right! give me that red headed slut and lets start this party!" We take our shots, and walk toward the group. Maybe it's the drink, but suddenly I feel like this is "my night", and it shows. I make my way to the dance floor and immediately a hot guy joins me there and starts dancing with me. The music makes me feel free, the lights and the people are like a kaleidoscope; colorful, constantly moving, beautiful. I wonder why I had ever been worried about where the night might go. Then Matt saunters up, with that finely sculpted backside, and asks if he can cut in. Of course I say yes, and we start dancing, and not just with our bodies. I am feeling super sexy right now; the music is just right, our conversation is extremely flirty and fun, and I am saying just the right things to keep it light but sexy. Then he says to me "So, maybe we should rethink our relationship-" and for one horrifying moment I am thinking to myself I am going to be dumped by someone who isn't even my boyfriend and he continues, -"and make it official" as he says that I am momentarily breathless-and balance-less, and I step sideways at an angle that causes to me trip over my own feet and fall. I can feel my face turn a bright crimson, and thinking I just blew the whole thing-I mean who would want to be with me the rest of the night after that? I am the girl who fell. As I go to stand up, he bends over to help me, and we bump heads. At this point all I can do is laugh, and instead of wallowing in my embarrassment, I pull him down onto the floor with me and do something that is rarely in my repertoire- I kiss him, passionately. Then he looks at me and says...Are you OK? How much have you had to drink so far? Just as he says that everything starts to go silent. I feel lightheaded and then complete darkness.

I awake to the sound of beep...beep...beep. As I open my eyes, I find myself in the hospital. Lucy is sitting in a chair next to the hospital bed and I can tell she was crying. "Lucy, what happened? Why am I here?" "Sweetheart, I have something to tell you....Before you took that shot last night, do you remember you and I were talking by the bar? While our heads were turned, someone slipped GHB in your drink. You passed out cold and have been for 9 hours. Matt, your new friend was worried sick, but your ex, he split and the police are looking for to question him." I went to sit up, reeling from the news, but I had such a bad headache I immediately laid back down. "Are you kidding me? What, he was going to rape me or something?" Lucy looked down and slowly shook her head. When she looked back up I could see the fear in her eyes. "When he left the club in such a hurry, the police started to do a background investigation. The name you know him by, is an alias. He has 3 other identities, and with them 3 dead ex-girl friends. The police think he could be a serial murderer, much like a black widow, only he is doing the killing." I laid, in stunned silence as tears began to well in my eyes. I turned away, and when I did, I saw a vase of beautiful roses. I turned back to Lucy "Who are they from?" At that time, Matt walks into the room and says, "They are from me. I have something to tell you also."

If I thought I had heard it all, more was coming. I pushed the nurse button to get some pain medicine for my splitting headache, and Matt continued. "Our meeting was not just by chance. I was hired to come here and get involved with you. By that guy, your ex. I am an actor, you see, well, actually, I am an FBI agent, posing as an actor. I am going to be your personal body guard until we can hunt your ex down. Although I must admit, I don't think being with you 24/7 is going to feel much like a job! I must confess-this is going to be a little more complicated than I originally thought. Your ex has a knack for disappearing and staying underground until he feels it's safe to come up for air. It could be days, weeks, even years so the most important thing is to make sure that you are safe. Now, I need to ask you a few questions...When was the last time you saw each other? Talked to each other? Have you been in contact with him?" I close my eyes as things around me start to get fuzzy. I cant handle all these questions right now. It's too much. "Matt," I say, "that is your name right? Get the hell out of here. I don't believe a word of this crap. Lucy, pass me the phone, I am not talking to anyone until I speak to my parents and my lawyer. This all makes no sense whatsoever and I want everyone OUT OF HERE!" As Lucy slams the door, tears stream down my face. I cry myself to sleep and wake up to my mom stroking my hair away from my face. The sense of relief I feel from seeing my mom and dad sitting next to my hospital bed was absolutely indescribable and I instantly know everything is going to be OK.

Come Story Telling with me!!! The Completed Story

DearSugar — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 10:00:00 -0700

I hope you all enjoyed this new feature as much as I did! Your wild imaginations made for a great story line! To read the completed tale you all helped create, read more

I buckled my seat belt, lowered the shade, and put my eye mask story short, they join the mile high club when he realizes that she's his first girlfriend with a major makeover. (I'm talking complete overhaul, from Susie Bookworm to Bunny McBoobie). Of course I don't find out about this until my wedding night, when I dump his sorry butt instead of having a night of romance and rapture....so I'm in Cancun alone and heartbroken, when I decide, screw Cancun, it's full of American tourists. I need to get away from everyone involved with my wedding day. That's why I booked this flight to Thailand. I'm dying to see the beaches where the movie the Beach was filmed. If only I could find Leo waiting there for me. Although I knew I should be using this time for some much needed self reflection, I again said screw that -- I need to start having some fun. I can't sit around and mope the entire time I am in Thailand, I need to LIVE! My first day on the beach, I cozied up at the bar at my hotel, ordered a Sing Ha when a Taye Diggs dead ringer said, "I don't mean to bother you but can I buy you a drink?"

Immediately, my mind floated to that movie with Claire Danes and Kate Beckinsale. If I said yes to this guy, would he later put cocaine in my backpack and watch me get arrested and thrown in a Thai jail? Then I remembered the second Bridget Jones. Can't be all that bad can it? I looked Taye Diggs' doppelganger straight in the eyes and said, "I'd love a sex on the beach." With a devilish smile, and a suppressed laugh, he ordered, and winking at the waiter, said, "don't keep this lady waiting!" I was so flattered, and a girlish wave of excitement came over me, and just as I was thinking about how the day I dump my fiance I meet a new man, my drink came, and my elbow knocked it off the counter and onto his shoes until his girlfriend walks up. and says "What the Hell is going on here" in the snottiest tone of voice known to man.

I was extremely embarrassed from the spilled drink and she took my flushed cheeks as a sign of hanky panky between us. She launched into a rant about how he never respects her and this is why they are breaking up for the last time. She then turned on her heels and walked off. He said to me "sorry you had to witness that" Well that totally killed the mood so I said, "yeah, me too, but you'd better go after her." Seeing his girlfriend's retreat reminded of my own recent retreat, and I didn't want to trade one liar for another. "Excuse me, I said" and carried my new drink onto the beach. I was ready for some alone time and a nice walk, but it wasn't in the cards. Within minutes, a little boy wondered up to me "you buy pearls from me" he said with a huge smile on his face and held up some poorly strung plastic beads. "how old are you?" i asked him. "special deal! just for you!" he says, waving the beads around as if they are mystical. "no beads" I say "but here's $20. go home now it's late". he considers the money for a moment and then runs off without so much as a thank you. "come back here!" i hear a woman call "you no good little thief!" she looks after the boy and says to me "did he sell you MY PEARLS!?" I play dumb "who?" she doesn't bite "I saw you talking to that little thief!" "oh he was only a boy" I say. she runs after him, screaming about her precious pearls. "thank you" I hear from the boy as he scurried off. I looked down at myself, my hair was a mess, I smelt like tanning oil from being at the pool all day and I definitely needed a shower. I decided to call it a quits and began walking back to my hotel room when I think my heart may have stopped.I mean an abrupt stop at what I could have sworn was the hottest man in all of Thailand. He was on his cell phone and had a bag over his shoulder; it looked like he was just checking in. It took me about 30 seconds to realize that I had been standing there staring at him like a fan to brad pitt. I immediately snapped out of it and began walking towards my destination (elevators) which coincidentally happened to be right by him. As I swayed over in the most feminine walk I could stir up...whisked my hair over my shoulder and got ready to flash a smile, I noticed. a gold band around his left ring finger. As I felt the crushing blow, he looked over at me and grinned. His teeth were shining white, which only made my disappointment grow. I hurried toward the elevators, and pressed the button that would summon the machine. I waited, shifting my weight from side to side, I looked over and the man with the ring stood next to me. I could smell his expensive cologne wafting over and I nervously pressed the button again. He leaned toward me. "Do not be swayed by the ring." He whispered in a heavy accent. "It is my grandfather's wedding ring. When he died, he left it to me. It's the only finger it fits on, deceiving I know but it let's me weed out the good girls from the bad ones.

After letting out a huge sigh of release, to myself of course, I knew I had to act fast. "I am glad you said something, I was beginning to think all the good ones were taken". Did I really just say that, I thought to myself, without even knowing this mans name? "My name is Phoebe by the way" as I reached out my hand He smiled widely, took my hand, and gave me a steady, firm handshake. "Hmm..." I thought. "Now, this seems like a real respectable man." As the elevator doors opened, he motioned his hand for me to go first. I smiled, and we entered a very crowded elevator, full of people that smelled like musty water. Suddenly, e whispered into my ear, "can I buy you a drink after I drop off my bags?" Without thinking twice, I replied, "meet you in the lobby in 30!" Before he had a chance to respond, the elevator doors opened on my floor, I winked a goodbye, and ran down the hallway to my room so I could jump in the shower and make a quick change. So, I'm in and out of the shower lickadee-split, running around the room furiously getting ready when I stop and think "this is too good to be true." Um, yeah, wait a second, that's exactly what it is, it's too good to be true. Something seemed a little off about that whole interaction. Oh well, cest la vie! I have nothing to lose. Just as I'm throwing on my shoes and praising myself for getting ready so fast, I see that the message light on the phone in my hotel room is blinking. Hmmmm, that's strange, no one knows I'm here. So I pick up the phone to listen to the message, and it is the wrong number. I transfer the message back to the front desk and head out the door. As I stroll through the lobby I see he is not there. I sit in a chair, again contemplating if this is a good idea. I just ran away from a big mistake minutes before I was to walk down the isle. All of my family is probably wondering where I am and what happened. I decide to stroll back to the lobby looking at the industrial and downtown scenery. Telling myself: I wish it wasn't this complicated, but i guess i'll be patient." While i was looking at the scenery, i finally spotted her walking with a midnight blue gown with cobalt blue heels that make me think of her as the universe in the night that glitter with stars. I was suddenly hypnotize but thought, wow I didn't realize Angelina Jolie is here at this hotel. I wonder if she is doing a photo shoot or baby shopping. As I watched her from afar, I felt someone touch my arm. I turned suddenly to see the guy from the elevator standing by my side. "You ready for that cocktail, Phoebe?" He says, his voice soothing, deep, and sexy. I smile and say, "Absolutely" only once i got halfway into the word I burped! Seriously? omg. I felt my face burning from the shade of red it is, and then he burps too. I immediately had to suppress a giggle. I said "Well, excuse us both" and I held is arm as we walked to the bar. I couldn't quit thinking he must be a nice guy to immediately come to my aid like that. But I must keep a clear head. we just met! I just left someone at the altar and these thoughts i am having about a total stranger are ridiculous. I let go of his arm as we take a seat. Immediately our eyes met and something about them told me he was kind. He smiled as he reached across the table to brush the hair from my eyes. "Thank you" I mumbled, unable to fully comprehend what was happening to me. "So, tell me your story Phoebe",I beamed inside and thought, ME...he wants to know about ME. Just then he started to tell me about his Thai dance troop. He asked if I had ever danced or worn a costume. I told him never and he said I looked like just the kind of girl to play the part of the monkey in his troop. He even ordered a banana drink for me. Just as I was ready to accept, my cell phone rang. It was so loud it made me jump. It was none other than my devious, once-fiance.

I saw a look of disappointment on my date's face as I said "Just one second. I'll be right back, Aaron." I answered the call and exasperatedly said, "What? What is it now?" The fiance from hell replied "Phoebe, I.. I need some help I think you had my return ticket in your bag. My flight home leaves later today and I can't find it anywhere." "Just like, you," I sniped, "only calling when you need something. And anyway, what if I do have it? How is that going to help you get out of town today?" "Good point," he said, "and Phoebe, I didn't call because I lost my ticket. I called to say I love you and I'm an idiot and, well." "That's all well and good, but it's over," I said. "Have a nice life, I'll leave your ticket at the front desk."

Jerk.

As I hung up the phone I realized, wait, he has no idea where I am so leaving it at the front desk isn't going to be doing him any good.. oh well, to hell with him, I need to move on, and the one I want to move on with is sitting at my table inside. I walked back to my table and sat next to my lovely stranger. "Is everything alright?" he asked with utter sincerity 'Everything is great! I am ready for that drink!' Then I proceeded to tell him a little about myself. I did not talk about the past few days because I had decided if this went any further it would just be a vacation fling.

After 4-5 drinks he suggested dinner. I agreed and we walked the 2 blocks to this fabulous seafood restaurant. he walk to the restaurant with Aaron felt so natural. Laughing, and walking arm and arm, it was picture-esque I suppose you could say. The warm night and lamp-lit sidewalks only added to the dream-like, two-block walk. We finally arrived at the restaurant. The ambiance was filled with the buzz of busy chatter, the clang of silverware to plates, and the exotic mingling of spices mixed in with oysters, prawns, and catfish. We sat down to dinner and began what ended up being a very pleasant evening. We danced under the stars to a live jazz band at "Chandra's"(the local hot spot) enjoyed each other's walk down memory lane, and finally shared a passionate, yet respectful display of affection until Aaron finally walked me to my room. No sooner had I opened the door when all of a sudden my cell phone rang again. It was the loser in Cancun that had no ticket! He seemed like he really missed me at this point but who wouldn't being in a foreign country alone and with a hurricane coming. No ticket, no passport, no wedding; too bad he was such a creep to me. Now he must be thinking I would be suckered into whatever was up his sleeve. I stared at my phone for a second and flipped it open, "Yes?" "Phoebe, come on. You gotta forgive me. I just need my damn ticket and you're being selfish not letting me have it."

"Oh well, I don't even know how to send it to you. Why don't you just buy a new one? I don't have time for this." I snapped then paused for a moment. "...And selfish? I'm not selfish. I'm not the one who went stir crazy and joined the mile-high club with some prissy, fake breasted airline stewardess!" The rest of the conversation was him babbling, and finally I told him I'd end this civilly. I told him I didn't want him trying to contact me anymore. And I hung up.

"Sorry about that again... although this is a lot to take for one night, I really hope my ex isn't changing your opinion of me. I had a wonderful time with you tonight, it was actually the right time in, wow, so long I can't even begin to pin point it, where I actually had fun! Thank you."

"Phoebe, I think your delightful, and no, this night only made me respect you more. Goodnight, I also had a wonderful time with you, can we do it again tomorrow night? I would love to see you again."

A rush of emotion fell over my entire body as I replied, "Absolutely, I would love to see you again. Sleep well and I will see you tomorrow."

Needless to say, I slept like a baby.....

Come Story Telling with me!!! The Completed Story

DearSugar — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 11:41:40 -0700

I hope you all enjoyed this new feature as much as I did! Your wild imaginations made for a great story line! To read the completed tale you all helped create, read more

"You're late again, Amanda. I have had it....How do you expect to keep your job here if you can't even come to work on time? What's your excuse now?" My boss was so irritated I could see the steam billowing out of his ears.

"I forgot my cell phone at home and I'd only realized after I got on the train. I'm sorry," I replied, lying through my teeth. I'd slept in again. I couldn't help that all I won't say you don't but I'm honestly just tired of hearing non-stop excuses. Your tears will not sway me this time. I mean it, you're gone." Jake turned away as if to dismiss me, but I stayed there, shocked, glued to my seat. What was I going to do? I was left with no choice but to pack up my personal items from my cubicle and go to HR for my exit interview. As I began to do this, my coworker Jennifer stopped by to see how last night had went. I said "Forget about last night, I just got fired." She was as shocked as I was. Within 10 minutes the office was abuzz about my firing. Between the time I gathered my items and got to Human Resources, my mind was already racing. I didn't care about the gossip, and the interview was the last of my worries. Jake's going to tell my mother, oh God... not my mother.

They had been dating for almost a year, and now he found it easier than ever to chastise me as if I was his own child. He's wrong in that though; I'm not his daughter, and I'm not a child. Damn Jake. I completed my exit interview, got in my car and forgot about stupid Jake, when my cell rang. It was my mother. "Darling?" she asked, "Is that you?" as if anyone else would answer my cell phone. "In the flesh" I say, as I merge onto the freeway. "Sweetie. is everything alright? I'm hearing disturbing tales about your work ethic." Oh how to answer. Disturbing was a word I reserved for things like May September romance between my boss and my mother, having a half sibling 24 years younger than me and phone calls where the caller pretends to know nothing about the events they are about to inquire about. "Mom. I've decided to liquidate some of my assets" I wonder if she'll get the jest of this, understand that it means her gravy train is about to come to an end when my call waiting beeps. "Mom, I've got someone on the other line, I have to go, I'll talk to you later," I say quickly before she has time to respond and click over. It's Rita, my best friend and self-professed mystic.

"Hey Rita," I said, trying to keep the mental exhaustion out of my voice "Oh my Gawd! What's wrong I dreamt you were pregnant," Rita replies anxiously. I'm sure she hopes I am so her predictions can finally be validated.

"I just got fired and I'm hungover," I whined. "Come over, have some coffee and food and I'll read your cards." "Coffee yes, food no, cards puh-lease," I said as I made my way to Rita's house and thought to myself.. damn.. I wish I hooked up last night - at least my firing would've been worth it! Then I think "Did I hook up with someone?" Suddenly I was lost. I had just "accidentally" hung up on my mother and lost a job. Did I just have a one-night stand last night that I could remember? I was lost in thought and suddenly I slammed my brakes before I hit the car in front of me. I made it safe to Rita's house however.

I knocked on Rita's screen door and she answered it in her usual Bohemian attire wearing a flowing purple paisley dress that billowed around her in the breeze. "Oh, you poor thing!" she said, enveloping me in a warm, earth-mother hug and the smell of patchouli. "Just come in and relax, and tell me all about it."
I followed her into the living room, and as she went into the kitchen to get me a cup of coffee, I sank wearily down onto her sofa. Suddenly, as I settled in among the pile of hand-crocheted cushions on the sofa, an image popped into my head from the previous night Flashes: a curly haired stranger, being led into a red convertible, coffee, sex. Yes, I indeed did get laid last night, and apparently the guy ran out on me in the morning. I wasn't sure whether I should be glad I broke my dry spell, or whether I should feel guilty, or whether I should be mad some guy dashed on me before I woke up.

Rita walked into the room with my coffee and looked down at me serenely. "You shouldn't be mad he dashed, Amanda. You woke up at 11 AM. He had to leave for work at 9." Rita had read my mind. Well damn... was he at least cute??" I asked disappointed. "more importantly.. did I get off???" "I think it's time you started to think about your priorities dear friend," Rita said, "what are you going to do now that you've lost your job?" I sat there staring at the opposite wall. It had escaped my mind. The first thought that hit me was that I'll just end up running to my mother to get me a new job.

Rita had her arms crossed and looked down on me with a disapproving face. She shook her head. "Why don't you just pursue your dream job?" she asked. I looked at her. "Do you think I can just get up and be a fashion designer? That's not exactly an easy career to get into. Plus, it's not like I know anyone who can help me out, and that's basically the only way I can get a job with a resume like mine." I was exasperated. This day felt like it was spiraling out of control, and the incense was giving me a migraine. She smiled at me and said "well think about it honey but I have an appointment with the cookey landlord, apparently she thinks spirits are following her...ugh." We mutually hugged and I headed out.

As I walked downstairs and out the building I took a second to look at my surroundings. My cute little convertible parked in front of me, the trees blowing in the summer breeze, I looked down at my feet to be reminded that I did have great taste in my Jimmy Choos. What was I thinking? I haven't got it that bad! That job wasn't me in any way! With a new outlook on life, I hopped in my car, top down, music blaring and headed to JoAnne Crafts. I'd heard somewhere that they sold sewing materials there. I didn't even know how to use one, but I knew if I hadn't one, I would never get anything done.

The store was huge and I felt overwhelmed. I decided to ask an associate for assistance and I felt nervous for the first time in a long while. I stuttered "I'm...looking...for...ah...sewing...machine," I said, looking at the associate in the eyes. "Sure," he responded with a smile and lead me to the aisle. The whole time I was walking behind him I couldn't help but think how familiar he looked with his brown curly hair. He looked almost like the guy from last night, who happens to walk out on me this morning. "Was I that bad?" I thought to myself.
"Here they are ma'am," he said, pointing at the shelves filed with an array selection of sewing machines from $25.00 to $150.00. He started to walked away, when I stopped him and asked, "Excuse me.. but um.. I know this sounds shady.. but don't I know u?" He smiled, chuckled actually, "Nah. Unless you were at from Canada? Because I just moved here about three days ago..." Hmmm odd, I thought to myself, this guy looked way too familiar. "Oh really! So how do you like it here so far?" I asked shyly and curiously. "Oh you know, its alright if your into the whole "Hollywood scene," my buddies took me out to some clubs last night...it was the first real night I actually did something here. I think it was called Hyde? I guess its some celeb hot spot...I don’t know."

In my mind, my jaw dropped, my eyes fell to the floor, and I melted to the ground as I realized I was at Hyde last night and it was definitely the one night stand/leave in the morning without a goodbye guy. Completely embarrassed I shriveled up and began backing away like a dog with a tail between its legs. "Ohh Hyde really?" I quickly said as I picked up the machine and began grabbing my money as fast as I could How could he not remember me?????? I hope he doesn't tell his friend he saw me int he middle of the day.. OMG OMG OMG.. OK. Get yourself together.

As I rush out of the store, I bump into Jake, my good-for-nothing boss. "Amanda," he said with a confused look on his face. "Jake," I said surprisingly loud. Jake and I gave each other an weird look, almost like we were shocked to have seen each other in the same place. "Your mother wants to know..." "I have to get going Jake," I interrupted him. I was not in the mood to be lectured at. As I got inside my red Volvo, I looked at rear view mirror and saw Jake starring back at me. I quickly turned my eyes away, thinking if only I could get him back
for all this. Then I had an idea which would work. I grabbed my cell phone and called my cousin Denna. She owed me a favor and was up on everything through last night. As I drove, I explained to her what I needed.

She would get my mom out of the house and I would leave the pix of Jake and Alan in bed together on her pillow; a sort of good night kiss for my own mommy dearest. I pulled up next to the bushes across the street from their house. The shadow hid me, and as I saw my mother leave, I made my way across the street and went in through the kitchen door which was never locked. Then I placed the pic on her pillow and went back to me car to wait. For some reason I couldn't leave until she came back, until i knew it was over.

About an hour and a half later, I started to feel really guilty. I mean I despise Jake but I love my mother. How is making her miserable going to make Jake miserable? Maybe if we go for a nice mother/daughter dinner I can convince to help me with my aspirations in fashion. I ran upstairs to remove the photo from her pillow when I heard the front door open. I "Hello, who's home?" yelled a booming male voice I didn't recognize at all. "Uh, it's Amanda, Sidney's daughter," I stammered back. "Who are you?" I asked, as I turned around to walk downstairs to confront the unexpected visitor. As I rounded the turn I saw my favorite uncle standing there with two suitcases, arms open.

"I know who you are," my uncle laughed, and enveloped me in his big bear hug." I squealed, "Uncle Mike! What are you doing here??" "Didn't your mom tell you? I'm in town for a couple weeks, and I planned a nice celebratory dinner tonight. I can't tell you what we're celebrating until tonight though!"

I thought to myself, "So that's what Jake was trying to tell me outside the fabric store." How was I going to get out of this now? I couldn't exactly go to dinner tonight after outing my Mom's boyfriend. It's a good thing I came back in for the pic. My uncle looked at me and asked if I was okay. "Oh yeah, I'm fine" I said. "Your mother told me you've been struggling to find the right career." Wow my mom was actually nice enough not to say I was fired. "Yeah, I really want to get into fashion designing, but I have no idea where to start" I said. Uncle Mike said "Well, I'm sure you will figure it out soon enough. I need to get my things put away and ready for dinner. Do you know when your mother will be home?" "No, sorry, I haven't talked to her today".

***

As Uncle Mike took center stage, the room feel silent. "I have come here to tell you all something incredibly exciting. I won the lottery!!!!! Since you are the only family I have, I am here to deliver a little token of appreciation -- a million dollars for each of you. Amanda, use this wisely -- looks like your going to need this money more than all of us after your day!"

GiggleSugar Reader Spotlight: GIOVS

GiggleSugar — Fri, 04 May 2007 15:00:00 -0700

GIOVS, GiggleSugar's resident heartthrob and the first guy to be spotlighted, doesn't just look like an Italian movie star, he's also genuinely sweet and silly. We wanted to recognize that GS has male fans, too, and it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy! Be sure to check out his pictures in the gallery at the end of the interview.

GS: What’s your motto?

GIOVS: Life is about the little details. Also, the people that you need to know will appear without a call--they'll just show up.

GS: Where are you from?

GIOVS: I'm from Baja California, in the south of California, specifically from the municipality of Tecate, where Tecate Beer and famous bread is made, and of course, the world knows wines from the Baja peninsula. I have lived here all of my life (I'm 19) but in August I'm going to move to Guadalajara (in the center of México) for university...

GS: What do you do?

GIOVS: I´m a full time student now. A few months ago I worked in Telcel, a mobile communication company, like Cingular or T Mobile, but I left it to go to school. Now I just write articles, and I am working on a book, but I haven't finished it yet.

GS:: What's your book about?

GIOVS:: An epic tale about people from all walks of life and all sexual orientations....

GS: How would you describe your sense of humor?

GIOVS: My sense of humor is a little weird, because some days I laugh at everything, some days I laugh at myself, but I always have a smile for everyone. If someone smiles at you, you have to smile back. You can make anyone happy by smiling at them. My sense of humor is a little grown up for my age. I prefer smart jokes, but whatever, a joke is a joke, and sometimes I like the dumb jokes.

GS: What’s your favorite GiggleSugar post?

GIOVS: I like all the WTF?! and Products Of The Day, but I think I don't have a specific one because I think most of them are great. I visit the site on my laptop in class (GS: Uh oh! We're contributing to the distraction of a student!) and I can´t see the videos because they're too loud, so I prefer pictures. When I go home I watch the videos and I like to read the other members' comments--they are great! Everyone thinks differently about the same thing so it's fun to compare ideas.

GS: Who’s the cutest funny man and funny woman?

GIOVS: For male comedian, I like Tiziano Ferro. For female, Paris Hilton. (GS: Come to think of it, she is a comedian! At least, I'm always laughing at her!)

GS: Who are your favorite male and female comedians?

GIOVS: My favorite male comedian is Adal Ramones, from the TV show "Otro Rollo." The female comedians I love are Tina Fey and Rachel McAdams, but I guess Rachel's more of a dramatic than comedic actress.

GS: What’s your favorite comedy of all time?

GIOVS: I guess Mean Girls, because I like the war between students in the school-- popular, geeks, jocks, etc… I also like the Scary Movie films...

GS: If your life were a comedy, what would it be?

GIOVS: I think Mean Girls. When I worked, they told my friend and me that we were like characters in the film. My friend Richard is the Mean one, my friend Grys (a Sugar member, too) is the Meaner, but everybody says I’m the Meanest! I can handle that! Hahahaha...

GS: Do you look like someone famous?

GIOVS: I don´t know, sometimes when I’m at the mall people will ask if they can take pictures with me, say hello or just stare at me, but I don´t know who they're confusing me with. (GS: They're staring at you because you're cute! ) A cousin says I look like this guy Roger, a Latin ZZ Disney Channel host, but I don´t think so.

GS: Free for all. I could say so many things. I feel honored to be selected as the reader of the week. This is a large community, we're all so different with different ideas. We all think differently because our minds are as diverse as the whole world. I hope to meet people from many places because I like to know different people's opinions about the same thing. People inspire me to write. Don´t ever shut up--scream what you think because the world can be better if we want it to be. I appreciate the Sugar Network because it's a place where I can share my ideas and learn new ones. My goal would be to have my own column, but if not, we have the forums, the comments and the polls to share with each other. Please comment whatever you want to say to me and don´t forget to sign my guestbook! Thanks to all, Ciao!

GS: Thanks, GIOVS!

View 12 Photos ›

(Shopping, birthday in costume, Sugar network member Grys and GIOVS, in a Black Eyed Peas car at Disney's Grad Night, Road trip, in the Rumorosa in Baja, more GIOVS, more friends, Tiziano Ferro, Paris Hilton, Tina Fey, Rachel McAdams.)

Source & Source

Group Therapy: He's Disappointing in the Sack

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 03:00:00 -0700

Ladies, I need advice.

I met this cute guy through a friend. We slept together and I have found that he's a...well, a little disappointing if you know what I mean. He doesn't really know how to use what he's got and when we had sex, he pretty much stared at me the whole time and it made me uncomfortable. I felt awkward moaning or acting like I liked it, because his facial expression never changed and his breathing barely changed either, so I couldn't tell if he was being pleasured himself. I'm afraid if I scream and really let go, he'd just stare and make me feel awkward. He can last a long time, but I'm not a fan of long sessions and I don't know if this is sweet or weird, but every time we've had sex, while we're into foreplay, he asked if I "want to do it for real."

Sex has been getting better, but it's still upsetting. This guy is so nice and would be wonderful for me, but the sex is not good! What should I do? Wait it out for a bit, teach him how to be better in bed, date him and deal with it, or accept that this is who he is and end it?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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You Asked: How Can I Make him be More Affectionate?

DearSugar — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

I have a great boyfriend, who I've been with for almost 1 year. He's a great guy, and we always have a great time together. There's just one thing that bothers me....he is not a passionate guy, or passionate enough to display affection in public. I like PDA, such as kissing in public, or caressing his back. However, he's pretty uptight about it. Once, while we were waiting in line in a clothing store, I put my hand on his butt, and just started to touch it casually, not in an erotic way. He immediately grabbed my hand and put it on his waist, apparently he didn't like my touching in public. I think PDA is a cute way to show your love to the world, while he think it's embarrassing and inappropriate. What should I do? Should I accept it as a fact, as his personality, or should I move on to find a guy who's more passionate and not afraid of showing love to others?

--I Need Passion Pam

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear I Need Passion Pam--

Many people have issues with public displays of affection. They think that everyone is staring at them and that any kind of touching or kissing is best saved for the bedroom. My question though is this: How is his level of passion behind closed doors? If he is all about getting it on and being affectionate when no one is watching, then you have to know that your man's uptightness about PDA is in no way a reflection of how he feels about you. It probably just makes him really uncomfortable to be showy.

That's not to say that him pushing your hand away and turning away from your kisses isn't frustrating. I suggest you tell him how you feel. Explain how important it is to express your love to him no matter where you are, and ask him if he could meet you half way. Since he is clearly uncomfortable, you have to respect his wishes as well and come to a fair compromise.

Maybe you two can come up with rules about your PDA, like holding his hand is okay, but touching his butt is out of the question. Maybe kissing on the cheek is acceptable, but lip-to-lip contact isn't. Once you two reach an agreement about this, I'm sure you'll both feel better.

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