TresSugar

5 Reasons Ashley Needs Her Girlfriends

Tara Block — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 10:45:50 PDT

Watching Ashley last night on The Bachelorette was like watching a long, drawn-out car crash. Hearing her cry and sigh over her lost love Bentley, who we all know is a soulless jerk, was so painful that only a drinking game (drink every time Ashley mentions "Bentley") kept my friend and me from losing our marbles. While we sat there dismayed that she could be so clueless about the show's "worst villain ever," my friend said, "this is what happens when you're separated from all your girlfriends." Exactly! What Ashley really needs to help her process these relationship decisions are her girlfriends (sorry, Chris Harrison, you can't quite fill those shoes, er, heels). Here are five reasons the bachelorette needs her besties.

Tough love: She needs her girlfriends to knock some sense into her, and I don't mean in the boxing ring. Guess what, Ashley, Bentley is gone, move on. Are you really pouting about one guy who left you when you have 11 guys who are obsessed with you? Get it together. And her friends would be able to see Bentley for the scumbag he is - sometimes you need outside perspectives from the people you trust to see a bad guy's true colors.
Shoulder to cry on: Yes, Ashley needs to move on, but she also needs to allow herself to be sad about losing someone she cared about. Maybe if she had been able to talk through Bentley leaving with a friend and really get all those emotions out, she would have been able to get past it and start fresh with the other guys.
Fug radar: I'm sorry, but some of the fellas she's keeping around are a bit on the fugly side. We all have those friends, or have been them ourselves, who keep a guy around because he's nice, even though there's no sexual chemistry. She needs her friends to tell her straight up, "why are you keeping him around if you're not attracted to him?"
Loosen up: Ashley is so stressed out, I get anxiety just watching her. What she really needs are some gal pals around to laugh with and put things in perspective. She's taking everything so seriously right now and is so tightly wound she can't even enjoy the process. It's even causing her to make rash decisions like kicking off both Ben F. and William on the two-on-one date. A much-needed, girls-only venting sesh would help her relax and clear her mind.
Confidence boost: Why in the world is Ashley so down on herself? She is so self-conscious about the guys not liking her or wishing the bachelorette had been Emily (and that nightmare roast didn't help), she can't even see that these guys are head over heels for her. She needs her friends to give her a heart to heart about all of her strengths and how she's a great catch.

When Friendships Evolve After Baby

Rebecca M Gruber — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 12:00:49 PST

Make new friends, but keep the old . . . The friendship philosophy of the Girl Scouts might work on the playground, but isn't always the case when a baby enters the picture. When one friend enters the next stage of her life, others may feel left behind. On last night's episode of How I Met Your Mother, Robin began withdrawing from a trying to conceive Lily after growing apart from her childhood best friend (and "Space Teens" costar!) when the latter became a mother. Did your pre-baby friendships remain the same after your lil one arrived?

Photo courtesy of CBS

Where to Find Like-Minded Mommies For Playdates

babysugar — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 11:00:36 PDT

It's like the first day of school all over again - only this time, you're an adult looking for a new friend. Even if mama has a gaggle of friends before giving birth, chances are she'll seek out other moms with tots once she enters motherhood. Spending time with moms who are experiencing the same baby milestones and setbacks makes the journey easier but requires some effort. I've rounded up some of my favorite ways to meet fellow moms.

New mom exercise groups: Group exercise programs like Stroller Strides and boot camps help burn the weight and gather women in a central location.
Pediatrician's office: Check the bulletin board in your doctor's office for new-mom playgroups. If there aren't any, post something yourself.
Hospital birth clubs: You know that mom giving birth in the room next door to you? Her tot is the exact same age as yours. Many hospitals help coordinate "birth clubs," which bring new mamas and their tots together for parenting workshops and breastfeeding support.
Playground visits: Your tot may not be old enough for the monkey bars yet, but a walk around the playground with your newborn may make you a magnet for other moms looking for some fresh air and friendship.
Gym babysitting area: Mamas who turn to their gym's babysitting services while sweating away their weight already have something in common. Coordinate your babysitting/workout schedules and watch your friendship blossom.
Mommy and me classes: Yes, baby yoga and newborn music classes are meant to stimulate your lil one, but they're also prime opportunities to befriend other new mamas who are feeling their way around the class.

How did you meet other mothers?

9 Reasons to Love Friends and 1 Not To

TresSugar — Thu, 27 May 2010 15:28:23 PDT

Kim Cattrall knows girlfriends make the best friends. She told Meredith Vieira that she loves Sex and the City 2 particularly because it focuses on friendships rather than relationships. And that's really, despite all the heart giving and taking away, what the series has always been about.

For SATC 2's debut today, we're leaving sex and the city behind to talk friendship - at its best and worst.

Photos courtesy of Warner Bros.

Mom-Me Time: Choosing Time For Yourself Over Friends

babysugar — Wed, 05 May 2010 12:15:07 PDT

Between the car pool lines, growing to-do lists and constant pile of laundry finding a moment for mom is much like finding a needle in a haystack. A night of dinner and gossip with the girls, or a long weekend away without the husband and kids may sound like the perfect way to decompress and recharge the batteries, but for some mamas, a few solitary minutes at home is just as exciting.

In an essay in the May edition of Real Simple, Managing Editor Kristin van Ogtrop opines about the working mother's ability to maintain friendships. She says:

And so I frequently have to choose between making time for a friend and making time for me. Usually I win. But is this healthy? And is it healthy to feel put out when the telephone dares to ring? I can’t tell you how often we hear the phone and before it gets to the second ring I am shouting to my kids, "Let the machine get it!" Terrible, terrible, terrible. I receive e-mails with the subject line "Girls’ Night Out!!!" and not only do I not think, Woo-hoo!!! as I’m undoubtedly meant to, but I just want to crawl under my desk.

Have you put your time for yourself over time to nurture your friendships?

Are Your Mommy Friends Your Couple Friends?

babysugar — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 09:00:00 PST

Make new friends, but keep the old . . . The Girl Scouts knew what they were talking about especially when it comes to mommy friends.

Once a woman has a baby, she actively seeks out other mamas with like-aged lil ones of their own. Knowing moms who are simultaneously going through the same things you are – sleepless nights, teething and spitting up to name a few – makes the journey easier and can help provide a reality check for first-time moms. Making these "mommy friends" often requires a lot of work – introducing yourself to them on the playground, attending "new mom luncheons," or going on "blind dates" arranged by caring friends.

But do you take the friendships to the next level and make "couple dates" with your new-found friends? There often seems to be a divide where women keep their mom friends separated into playdate and moms' night out scenarios, never taking it to the dating scene.

Tell us, do you go on couples dates with your mommy friends?

Do Tell: What's the Worst Pickup Line That's Been Used on You?

DearSugar — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 09:30:00 PST

Many of you had dates to go out with your girlfriends over the weekend, which leads me to believe that eligible bachelors took notice. In the wonderful world of dating, getting the attention of the person you have your eye on is crucial, but often times lame pickup lines are used to do so! I bet we've all heard our fair share of them so do tell, what's the worst pickup line someone's tried on you?

Source

Do Tell: What Do Your Girlfriends Talk the Most About?

DearSugar — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 13:00:00 PDT

When girls get together, it's a time for them to talk about everything from their careers to their love lives, and all the fun stuff in between. And even if you have a few different groups of friends, there are usually reoccurring topics that get touched upon each and every time. When I'm with my friends, we catch up first but the conversation always finds its way back to men, dating, and relationships. Does this sound familiar? Do tell, what's the most common topic of conversation between you and your girlfriends?

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Do Tell: Do You and Your Girlfriends Have Signals You Use When You're Out?

DearSugar — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:00:00 PDT

One of my favorite things to do on a girls' night out is head to a bar for some dancing. My friends and I have been having dance parties since college and I can only hope we’ll be having them when we’re little old ladies, too! But the problem is, every time we go out, the guys just won’t back off. Over the years, we’ve come up with a handy set of signals we use to get away from such pointless attempts at flirting, including code words and hand motions. I have a feeling you’ve experienced this too so do tell, do you have signs to alert your posse that you want away from a guy? If so, what are they?

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DearSugar Needs Your Help: Should I Be Angry at Him?

DearSugar — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 09:00:00 PDT

DearSugar and Pregnant Patsy need your help. She just found out that she's pregnant, but at the age of 20, she and her boyfriend decided that the timing isn't right to have a baby. Everything is in motion for her abortion, but she's feeling an intense amount of anger toward her boyfriend and doesn't know why or if her feelings are valid. She could use any support you can offer, so weigh in with your advice.

Dear Sugar,

I am 20 and just recently found out I'm pregnant with my current boyfriend's baby. I have suspected that I have been pregnant for a few weeks now, with a period nowhere to be found, constant fatigue, and an appetite that never seems to end. We love each other very much and already plan on spending the rest of our lives together, but we already knew we did not want to keep the baby because it is just not the right time in our lives - we are way too young to be parents right now.

My girlfriends took me to a YWCA clinic and have put everything in motion for me, including an unconditional amount of support of my situation and decision. My abortion is next week. What I wanted to ask about is why I feel so angry toward my boyfriend? I am no longer affectionate toward him, even though it hurts me not to be. Since I found out I was pregnant, I have not liked kissing him, or even having him sleep in the same bed as me. And when I feel he doesn't spend enough time with me during this time, I use the pregnancy excuse to make him stay. I don't like hurting his feelings, or keeping him from hanging out with his friends, but I just feel that I deserve a little more attention in my fragile state than to be ignored for the boys, video games, or any other reason.

Is it normal to feel this way, or am I just being a cry baby?

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