TresSugar

Where Do You Stand? Guys Buying You Clothes

TresSugar — Mon, 04 May 2009 16:00:00 -0700

On a list boldly titled 25 Skills Every Man Should Know, the May issue of Esquire offers advice for men looking to buy clothing for women. The tools required: a credit card and a woman's clothing size. The steps, according to the article:

Don't.

Ha! Clearly the mag has a pretty immovable position on whether guys should buy women clothing as gifts, but is it justified? I'll admit, I've gotten some pretty terrible gifts from guys that I then felt obligated to wear, but I've also had boyfriends who were great at picking out my style. So what's your take? Is it always a terrible idea for men to buy women clothes?
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Do Tell: What's the Best Gift You've Ever Received?

DearSugar — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 10:00:00 -0700

I really love giving gifts. There’s something so gratifying when you find the perfect present and watch someone’s face bloom into a smile as she or he receives it. Still, I think the best gifts are those that can’t be wrapped and tied with a bow. Immaterial gifts usually require extra thought and foresight, and in my own life, seem to hold the most meaning. Ladies, do tell: What’s the best gift you’ve been given?

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Handle This: You Don’t Have a Gift in Return

DearSugar — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 13:00:00 -0700

You and a friend each recently had a birthday, and although you were out of town for yours, she’s having a party to celebrate hers with a group of your mutual friends. You consider hunting for a gift before you go, but since it’s a large group party you opt not to and assume that it won't be a big deal.

Much to your dismay, when you arrive at the party the birthday girl hands you a huge present. You watch her eyes take you in and realize that she’s noticed you don’t have anything in return. It's completely awkward and you feel like you have to say something. How would you handle this?

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What Are You Giving Your Dad This Year?

DearSugar — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Is it just me or does shopping for Dad seem nearly impossible sometimes? Tools and ties just don’t cut it anymore and DVDs and CDs get tiresome year after year. Plus even if he doesn’t say so, I think Dad enjoys a meaningful and well-thought-out gift just as much as Mom does. So for those of you who’ve planned ahead, please share with the rest of us: What are you getting your dad for Father’s Day this year?

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Where Do You Stand: Buying Gifts For Friends

DearSugar — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Once you reach a certain age, like around the time you're too old for pool parties, slumber parties, and a day at the rollerskating rink, gift giving for friends becomes slightly more complicated. Buying a $20 or $50 gift every time another friend’s birthday rolls around can get very expensive, and I, for one, am not a fan of the generic gift; it seems even less thoughtful than not getting anything at all.

Though of course it’s important to acknowledge the significance of a friend’s special day, I can’t say that buying a gift always seems necessary past a certain age. But what about you, where do you stand when it comes to giving gifts to friends? Is it a must in your book, or does a chummy “happy birthday” email suffice?

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Group Therapy: He's Just Too Thankful

Sun, 11 May 2008 11:00:00 -0700

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. I can't say that we hit it off at first, but we have grown to truly love and appreciate each other. I don't make it a habit to shower men with gifts, but I do like to put a lot of thought into them when I do. I recently bought him a pricey gadget, and now he never stops thanking me. He is offering to buy me a gift of equal value.

I know he appreciates the gift but I feel like if he just gets me something in return, it turns into a gift exchange and undervalues what I did for him. I'm hoping he isn't thinking that he owes me something, but I keep getting that feeling. It's also very weird because certain family and friends have told him I'm a "keeper" since I bought him this item. I can't help but find that kind of rude. What should I make of this? How should I respond to him?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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What Are You Getting Your Mom For Mother's Day?

DearSugar — Tue, 06 May 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Since Mother’s Day is all about showing our moms how much they mean to us, giving a thoughtful gift is really important. Unfortunately, even if we know all the things our mothers love most, coming up with something original and meaningful can be incredibly tricky. I always find that finding something you can do together - like concert tickets, spa treatments, or a home-cooked meal - is a great gift for this particular occasion. So what are you getting your mom this year? Please share for those of us still scrambling for a great idea!

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Group Therapy: He Refuses to Give Me Jewelry

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 03:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend of two years refuses to give me jewelery. He says he doesn't believe in it, which is just ridiculous. I can't understand why he's like this. He's not cheap in the slightest. He'll buy me anything I want - as long as it has practical value. He even said he would give me money to buy jewelry if I wanted it, but that he would have no part in picking it out for me. The only reason I want jewelery to begin with is because I like to have something tangible to remind me of him when we're apart. I'm sorry, but electronics are not as special as jewelery. I don't even want anything expensive, just a little something that I can wear to feel close to him. He will not budge, and it's gotten to the point where if I bring it up we will have a huge fight about it. He is supportive in every other way, but this is driving me crazy. I'm really upset, and I don't know what to do. How can I get over this?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Sunday Confessional: My Boyfriend Skimped on Christmas

DearSugar — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 06:55:02 -0800

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I met over the Summer, and this was our first Christmas together. I wanted it to be really special and memorable. It's one of my favorite holidays, and I really get into the gift giving spirit, so I went all out for him. I got him a dress shirt and a tie (he needed them for his new job), an iPod Nano, and a gift certificate for dinner to the restaurant he took me to on our first date. I was so excited to give him his presents on Christmas morning, and he had one weird-looking package for me. I was so excited to find out what it was, but I made him open his presents first.

He was really psyched with all the gifts, and then he handed me my present and said, "I got you this because you don't have one." I opened it up and was shocked. It was an ice scraper for my car. Wow. How romantic. I started to cry, not because he didn't spend as much money as I did, but because he didn't put as much care and thought into his gift. My feelings were just hurt and it made me question our relationship.

I know Christmas isn't at all about the presents, but I guess I was just expecting him to choose a more meaningful present. Should he be forgiven for getting me such an unthoughtful gift, or is this something worth being upset about?

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Where Do You Stand? Are You Honest About Your Gifts?

DearSugar — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 07:30:07 -0800

When I give a present, I put a lot of thought into choosing either something the person really needs or something I think screams his or her name. So if the person opens the gift and isn't into it, I wish my friends and family would - instead of trying to be nice and saying "Oh, I love it!" - just be honest and tell me if they hate something. I understand why people sometimes pretend to like presents. You don't want to seem like an ungrateful snot, but if I'm dealing with a close friend or relative, I'd hope that they'd feel comfortable telling me the truth. That way, I won't continue to buy things that are pink if someone's new favorite color is red, or whatever.

How do you react when you receive gifts? Are you completely honest if you don't like or can't use something? Or do you put on a big act about something you'll probably return? Is it rude to say you don't like a present if the giver asks, or does it depend on who gave it to you?

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